This is for ma chere soeur, who suggested it. (See explanation at the bottom.)
Last Kiss
It was dark that night, I remember, but it was summer. It must have been late, long past dusk. I remember all of the sights, the feelings, the smells of that night. It was humid, almost oppressive, and the wind screamed in through the windows, cooling our skin.
Only Elizabeta ever riled me up like this. She would goad me into speeding up, pressing my foot onto the gas pedal until we were skidding around corners, racing down straight-a-ways. But I secretly enjoyed the way she taunted me. It always began with mild suggestions, before she was full-out teasing me. I always fell for it.
We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far
I had taken her to dinner tonight, and she had begged to take the long route home. She claimed she wanted to spend all night with me, but if I insistedon bringing her home, she wanted to waste as much time as she could before having to go home. I gave in, because she was just so persuading. She had her feet up on the dashboard, bare toes spread to the air. She had worn a faded gingham dress she had found in her closet, and a equally faded bandanna tied up in her messy waves. I don't know how she did it, but tonight, she looked even more beautiful than she had at dinner, or at school, or yesterday, or any time before now. And she just kept getting more beautiful. I couldn't help but glance at her every few moments. She looked back and just laughed, and I barely managed to tone down my dopey smile. I reached over and rested my hand on hers, and she beamed like a child just given ice cream. But she didn't say anything to me. She just kept singing every song that played on the radio. Not that I minded.
Her bright eyes flashed and she laughed brightly I suddenly knew why it was dark outside. The sun didn't want to compete with her beauty and radiance.
"I love this song!" She began to belt out the lyrics happily, and I chuckled and squeezed her hand gently. The road could be as rough as it wanted, and the night as muggy as it cared. So long as I was beside Elizabeta, the world could come crashing down around me. I wouldn't care.
The song she had been singing died down, and there was a dramatic change in the mood. A darker, eviler sound permeated the car from the radio. I glanced over at her, worried, and she quickly changed the station. A loud, raucous rock band screamed from the speakers, and she laughed nervously.
"What was that about?"
"You stopped singing," I mused, as she settled back into her seat.
"What, you like my singing?"
"Hmph. Well, it's nicer when the car's quiet anyway," I replied lightly, turning the corner smoothly.
"You so mean!" she cried out, reaching over and nudging me. I chuckled. She huffed and began to sing again. Her annoyance melted into the atmosphere as soon as it appeared. She was laughing and grinning within a moment.
"Sing with me!" she implored.
"I'd rather not," I replied dryly.
"Fine. After graduation, I'm gonna make you come out of your stuffy shell."
"Can you wait a year?"
"Hell yeah! I can't wait for graduation!" I scowled.
"Don't remind me," I said bitterly. She looked over.
"What, you don't want to graduate? I thought you wanted to get out of this stuffy town." If you only knew, Elizabeta…
I sighed and gripped the wheel tighter. She looked over at me, and I could see the concern in her eyes.
"What's wrong, Roderich?"
"… I was going to wait and tell you. But I really haven't had the nerve to confess." "What is it?" she leaned forward, and I swallowed and forced myself to stare at the road. I took my hand away from hers; I couldn't touch her anymore, it was wrong. She grabbed at the air.
"My parents enlisted me in the military, Elizabeta." I heard her gasp.
"What? No, you can't go!"
"I'm afraid I have no choice in the matter," I murmured. She shook her head passionately.
"No, they just can't do this to you! What about college! You could do so much if you could go to college! This isn't fair!" She was so distraught. I had to do something.
"Elizabeta." she looked up, her eyes fierce and pleading at the same time. I reached over and took her hand again.
"I promise, I'll come back as soon as I can. I'll go to college, and everything will be wonderful. I promise." She took my hand in hers and squeezed it.
"You'd better not be lying to me," she said softly. Suddenly, the radio signal was overcome with loud, ugly static. She jumped and dropped my hand with one of hers to beat the space over the device. The sound the filled the car was a soft, classic love song. I glanced over at her and smiled gently. A soft bubble of laughter escaped before I could catch it, and she glanced over and shook her head like a child.
"The radio sided with you."
I laughed again. "I don't know what your talking about." The road was unusually smooth, and I guess I was feeling a bit cocky, or proud, because I sped up. Neither of us saw a problem with the road conditions. She kept teasing me until we were flying, skidding around corners. She was laughing and cheering, and I had never seen her look lovelier than right then.
There in the road, straight ahead
A car was stalled the engine was dead.
I took another corner far too fast, and that would prove to be the fatal mistake. I could barely register the image of the gutted car spread out across the street before I turned the wheel sharply.
I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right
If I hadn't been speeding, I could have avoided this. No one would have been hurt. But I had acted like an egoist, and a higher power was taking revenge. We struck a piece of sharp steel, and Elizabeta screamed as a tire blew out. I lost control of the car at that moment, and the passenger door grated along the guard rail. Elizabeta clutched my hand tightly, and I tried to recover control. It was too late; we found the edge of the guardrail, and the car tipped as it tumbled over the edge. She screamed again, and I let go of the wheel to hold her still, to protect her from what I knew was going to happen.
I'll never forget the sound that night
The screaming tires, the busting glass
I felt the car crushing in around us, locking us into place. I struggled to take Elizabeta's other hand and I squeezed it, trying to reassure her. Her nails bit into my skin, hard enough to draw blood. But I didn't make a sound. Fear kept my voice pinned in my throat.
The painful scream that I heard last
"Elizab-!" I heard her scream, a terrible, sickening sound, and I tried to turn to her. We landed roughly and my glasses bounced off, leaving me blind. Not that my eyes were open anyway. I heard the glass shatter. We rolled again, and a branch smashed through the windshield. Glass covered us from the entry point, and I only saw the bough for a split second before it broke the skin of my chest. I cried out, and it broke off at the skin as we too a final roll. My head collided with the steering wheel, and I slipped from consciousness.
I woke up and my head was throbbing. There was warm blood running down my face, but I reached over. My first thought was of Elizabeta.
"Elizabeta… where are you…"
When I woke up the rain was coming down
There were people standing all around
Something warm flowing through my eyes
But somehow I found my baby that night
I found her wrist and held it. Her arm was utterly limp.
"Elizabeta… say something… please…" My worst fears began to play out in my mind. Was she dead? Unconscious? In a coma? Would she ever speak again?
"Ngh… Roderich…" My eyes widened and I stared blindly.
"Elizabeta, are you alright?" I asked, feeling up her arm to touch her face. As I moved upward, I felt a thick, warm liquid running down her arm.
"Stop… please, I don't want you to see this…" she said softly. Her voice was so faint and breathy. My fingers crept over her shoulders, and I felt something wet and metallic prodding from the junction of her shoulder and neck. I gasped softly.
"Elizabeta…"
"It's alright," she whispered, "It's just a flesh wound, after all." She laughed weakly. I felt around it. It was a sharp something made of a thin sheet of metal… and it was angled… across her body…
"Elizabeta," I whispered, "What happened?"
"It'll be fine," she murmured, "I've seen people live through worse… this is nothing compared to that… I'm glad your awake though. I thought you had died…"
"We need to get out," I urged. Reason was lost when fear and anxiety invaded my mind. I couldn't bear to lose her… she was the only thing in the world I cared for anymore…!
"You're being silly," she chuckled, "But then again, you can't see."
"What do you mean…" I asked, touching her cheek gently . She leaned into my hand.
"I can't move, Roderich," she murmured, "It's like when you get shot with an arrow- if you pull it out, you'll bleed to death. I'll surely die if I move. Just sit with me for a while…" I nodded and felt around for the seat belt catch. When I freed myself, I tried to move, but gasped and fell back. I still had the length of tree branch embedded in my chest, and it was holding me to the seat.
"Oh… Roderich…" I felt her fingers on my chest, touching just under the entrance wound, and I flinched.
"This is nothing compared to what happened to you, Elizabeta…" I winced and pulled myself up. There was a tremendous ripping sound and I cried out as I pulled myself from the seat. I reached back. There was at least four inches of the branch sticking through my back, just beneath my shoulder blade. It was dripping blood at a steady rate, and I felt a bit nauseous.
"Let me hold you," I whispered, feeling over the center console. She took my hands.
"I was hoping you'd ask…" I found the end of the rod of metal. It exited just above her hip, siphoning precious blood from her body. With some effort and pain, I crept from my seat and moved close to her. There was no way to call for help anymore. I just hoped that the medics could get here quickly.
"You're so tense… are you afraid?" she asked. I chuckled.
"One of us needs to be, liebling," I replied, "I'm afraid for you."
"Don't be," she giggled softly, "I'm not afraid." She was careful when she enveloped me in her arms, and I moved closer to her. I could feel her heartbeat against mine.
"I promise to never leave you," I whispered.
"You better not," she laughed. "I can't chase you if you leave me now." She was joking because she was scared, I realized. I reached up and found her hair, and I ran my fingers through it gently.
"Elizabeta, I've had something I wanted to tell you for some time now…"
"What is it?" she inquired.
"I thought you would know," I whispered teasingly, moving my hand to feel her cheek, locate her lips. Her breath ghosted past my fingertips.
"No… I don't," she admitted faintly. I smiled.
"Elizabeta Hédevary, I'm in love with you." I caress her cheek gently, blindly, "I have been since I met you. I love everything about you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I felt something warm and wet hit my finger. She sniffled.
She lifted her head,
She looked at me and said,
"Hold me, darling, just a little while."
"Unh… D-damnit… I don't want… to cry…" I smiled and leaned up, and we shared our first kiss. It was a soft, butterfly touch, just me trying to find her lips blindly. I locked on to her; her scent, her feel, and moved closer, because I couldn't draw her into my arms. It was the most beautiful moment I had ever felt. I felt her tears on my skin, warm and simply her. And when we parted, she let out a muffled sob. I smiled and brushed her tears away sightlessly.
I held her close
I kissed her our last kiss;
I found the love that I knew I had missed
"I love you, Elizabeta," I whispered, "I'm not going to leave you. They won't be able to pry me from your side." I felt her hand brush mine as she wiped her eyes.
"Thank you…" she whispered faintly, "Thank you… so much…" I felt her shuddering breath against my lips, and I felt her body slacken a bit.
"Elizabeta?" I wished to God that I could see, even for a moment, to see what had occurred. "Elizabeta… speak to me, please…" I was growing more frantic. "Elizabeta! Please, say something!" I touched her lips, and I felt no breath. My blood ran cold.
Now she's gone, even though I hold her tight
I lost my love, my life that night.
"No… No, please…" I fumbled to find a pulse, and there was none. My heart hammered in my chest. "It can't be…" With trembling fingers, I tried to find a heartbeat. But there was none. She had left me. I felt painful, burning tears forming, and I lost the fight. They spilled down my cheeks like molten metal.
She was still so young… she could have done so much, but it was my ignorance that did her in.
"I'm so sorry, Elizabeta," I whispered, my voice choked with once-dormant sobs, "Please… come back to me…" I could hear faint sirens approaching, but I didn't care. They were far too late. They had let a beautiful, perfect person just die…
"Please… come back…" I whispered, and I felt the end of the stick strike the seat and jerk in my chest. I cried out in pain. Was I going to die here?
I realized a split second after I had thought that prior sentence that I didn't care. If I was going to die, I would at least die alongside Elizabeta, and there was nothing I could want anymore than that. I rested my head on her chest, yelping when the branch struck the seat again. More blood begin to run from the tip of the stake.
I felt my consciousness begin to ebb as the sirens grew closer. I guess this was it. I was going to die because of adolescent ignorance, going to suffer because I killed the one person that meant anything… But I wasn't afraid.
"I meant it all," I whispered faintly, "I meant it all, Elizabeta. I meant everything I said." The final strings of perception began to break, and I let myself drift off into oblivion close to the one I loved.
Slowly, I opened my eyes, and everything was dark.
"What…?" I narrowed my eyes to bring everything into focus, but with no avail.
"Ah, you've woken. I'm glad. How do you feel?"
"Who are you?" I asked faintly, turning my head toward the voice.
"Don't try to move too much," they implored, "You're going to hurt yourself." I heard the click of heels. "I'm Dr. Braginskaya," they said, "I was your surgeon." I felt a hand on my forehead and I flinched.
"Relax, I'm just checking your temperature… you seem okay… can you tell me how many fingers I'm holding up?" I shook my head. Everything was blurry, yet lit and warm-looking.
"I can't see without my glasses…"
"That would explain a lot. Thank you. Don't move, I said. You're going to reopen your stitches." They pressed on my collar gently, pushing me back to the bed.
"What happened?" I asked softly, squinting. I could see the blurry outline of a woman with light, short hair, leaning over me.
"The paramedics found your car at the edge of a ravine- if your car had shifted even slightly, you wouldn't be here right now, Mr. Edelstein. Be thankful." I nodded faintly.
"They had to pry open the car to get you out. It was a miracle you lived for that long, much less lived at all. You had a tree branch embedded in your chest. When we removed it, you almost bled out, but somehow we saved you. It's really a miracle that you're alive right now."
"What about… Elizabeta…?" I asked. The woman was silent. I could hear the blood pound through my veins, and I almost wished that it would stop.
"… She had perished before the medics reached the car," she said finally. My throat constricted.
"…I see." My sentence was short, clipped. I had known she was dead, but… I guess it was wishful thinking that clouded my judgment. There was no way she could have survived. Why did I set myself up for more pain?
"… Can you leave me, for a little bit?" I asked faintly, barely audibly. There was silence, but her blurry outline moved, nodded.
"I'll return in a half-hour to give you your medication." I heard the click of heels and she was gone. It all hit so suddenly, yet almost in slow-motion. I lost control of my body, and tremors overran my limbs. Bitter, painful tears formed in my eyes and overflowed my eyelids. I couldn't move to wipe my eyes, nor could I curl up and just cry. I was paralyzed, forced to endure my silent lament.
Silver tears rolled down my cheeks and soaked into my pillow uselessly. Elizabeta, Elizabeta… It was my fault… I had killed her…
There was a knock at the door.
"Go away," I croaked.
"You look like you've gone through the wringer, Specs." My muscles seized up.
"Gilbert?" I heard the thud of boots as he walked over. The bed sagged as he sat by my hips.
"I heard what happened," he said, almost imperceptibly, "I'm so sorry."
"I don't want to talk about it," I said softly. More tears welled up in my eyes, but I couldn't hide then nor wipe them away.
"I understand. Do you need anything?" he murmured. I shook my head, and a small sob fought its way from my lips. I felt his finger under my eye, wiping away the surplus of tears, and I started.
"Gilbert…"
"It's pretty un-awesome to see you cry," he said, but it wasn't mean or cruel, "Do you want me to go?" I shook my head.
"No… it's alright, you can stay… please, stay…" I reached up and blindly grabbed. He caught my hand and set it down.
"I won't go if you don't want me to," he said, "You can just cry if you need to. I won't tell anyone." I nodded.
"Thank you…" He sat silently while I wept, while I lamented lost love, while I mourned for the thing that would never be again.
If I could take back that night, I would take it all back. I would wait a thousand years to confess my love if only she lived longer. Hell, I'd give Hades my life if only to prolong hers.
But it was too late. I bit my lower lip and began to pray.
Elizabeta, don't wait for me if you don't want to. I love you, but I was a fool. I ruined your life, and for that, I deserve to die in your place. You beautiful angel, you perfect seraph… you saint, and it was foolhardiness that clipped your wings and sent you crashing. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I just hope that you made it, that you're flying once more…
Oh where oh where can my baby be?
The lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.
I had been talking to my sister and had her read the first version, and one of her comments was "It would have been sadder if Elizabeta died." I didn't believe her, but I wrote this version regardless. Can anyone tell me which is sadder? I'm torn, because I wrote both, but... Please R&R, or just review... tell me which you preferred, or if they both sucked... Merci beacoup et je suis desolé si tu n'aime pas les histoires.