Uncertainty

Being gay or bisexual is something that you can never really get over. Even if you tell yourself you're okay with it, it just nips at you and finally takes a big bite out of your sanity. Crunch.

Sonic wasn't feeling insane as he slowly transferred Tails from his lap to the couch and doused the fire. Tails curled his tails around himself and made a dove-like sound. Sonic, who hadn't slept a wink, stopped dead in his tracks. His heart had actually stopped beating and he forgot how to breathe for the shortest of moments. Without regret, Sonic returned to the fox's side in a heartbeat.

"Don't wake up, Tails," he whispered softly. "This is something I need to do." And Sonic touched Tails' lips tenderly, his quills falling about his face. He disconnected their lips quickly before he was tempted to French kiss and, feeling injured, he left without a word. You make me so cruel, Tails.

Sleepless nights were something that came with the territory of being a Freedom Fighter, so Sonic was not a heavy sleeper and could stay up all night. Tails, being young at the time, could sleep like a rock and apparently could be kissed without him even stirring a finger. Sonic felt empty and tired, though; as his mind would not permit him to drift into thoughtlessness as he often did when pulling an all-nighter.

"My mind holds me," he sang softly, feeling the wind crash into his quills and threaten to blow him over onto his spiny little back. It felt like a welcome somehow; he always came to this special windy valley after his adventures. It helped to relax muscles stiff from hanging on the very edge of his life. He looked upwards to the sky, humming, and found that clouds were plugging along up there as if pulled by a child in one of those pop-up books. "God," he whispered. "Tails' eyes are more beautiful than the sky."

Thoughts of Tails made his legs turn into jello and he sat upon the prickly grass a moment, feeling the warm sun on his closed eyelids. He went back to humming; something that was automatic when he felt good, and found himself at peace with the world. Stretching, he got up again and descended into the valley.

As he ran jovially amongst the trees and ferns here, he laughed. "I love Tails," he said to himself. "I really love him!" Or, am I just on the rebound? He thought afterwards. After all, I did just get dumped. It's easy for me to bounce back…I don't want Tails to be my rebound boy.

He sighed and collapsed under his favorite napping tree; the big maple that had a wide trunk, and got just the right mixture of shade and sunlight to be like a second bed. Surprised at the sudden tire he felt as he touched the well-worn tree, he settled down by the roots and fell asleep to the birdsong up in the treetops.

And, what now? A sudden feeling

Of loss and breath-taking love

For him?

Tails awoke on the couch. He sniffed without opening his eyes. Sonic's familiar scent was not anywhere in the house. Tails opened his eyes and found himself alone. "Sonic?" he questioned tentatively. "Sonic?"

Sonic was probably too deep in concentration to hear him. Strangely, he tasted saliva that was not his own in his mouth. He recognized the taste.

"Don't wake up, Tails. This is something I need to do."

"Sonic," Tails touched his lips as he said the word dreamily. There was only one place Sonic could possibly be; the Elder Maple.

Tails' nickname for Sonic's special tree didn't go without reason. The old tree had such a wide trunk that it couldn't be any younger than three hundred, and there were so many animals living in it that it had to have been there for a long time anyway. Tails smiled at these facts as he pulled on his shoes, whirred his tails, and hurried away to the Elder Maple.

When he got there, his face flushed from the morning air, he saw Sonic stretched out beneath it, eyes tightly closed and his hands behind his head. Tails grinned and knelt beside his childhood hero.

Sonic, at the tender age of fifteen, was already built to be a lean, mean running machine as his aforementioned muscular legs proved. Sonic's arms rippled with just enough muscle to easily carry a wounded friend or a princess of a distant land, but not so much that his fists were his preferred way of fighting. Unless he absolutely had no other option, Sonic would rely on his speed and his kicks to fight his battles. He was thin, but with very little muscle where it didn't need to be. Tails liked it that way; disapproving of Knuckles' unsightly muscles everywhere.

Before he knew it, he was already leaning down to lay his head over Sonic's heart. He listened to Sonic's breathing and how it was regulated and slow, he listened to the hero's heart, which was built to go from zero to sixty in about point three seconds. That was amazing, but the fact that it could also slow back down from sixty to zero in point three seconds was amazing, too. Tails made a face and picked his head up at an unfamiliar sound. Confused, he lay down again, this time closer to the hedgehog's tummy, and listened hard.

There was no mistaking it. Sonic was hungry. Tails was unaware that Sonic's stomach could actually growl, but guessed that there was still a lot about Sonic left to be discovered. The little fox smiled; glad to know that deep down inside, Sonic had the same weaknesses as everyone else. I'll make him a nice breakfast, Tails decided, arising and whirring his tails. That way, he can at least enjoy his day.

The fox looked back at Sonic yearningly. He remembered what Sonic had said about the two of them being alone and shivered with delight. Then, he went back home and started making breakfast.

I might be a hero, but,

I'm really just like everyone else, you know.

Sonic was faintly aware of his own hunger; faintly only because he was an adventurer and a hero and he knew that he could go hours, days, even weeks without food if necessary. Most of his adventures never took more than a week; most ending in a day, but he knew to suppress cravings until he was home again. "Wait, stupid!" He sat up on his elbows, laughing. "You are home!" He jumped to his feet eagerly. "Hmmm. I wonder if Tails is awake." Sonic stretched the sleepiness out of his reluctant body; figuring sleep could always wait for food, and sped off for home.

The house he and Tails shared was nothing special. It was old, certainly an upgrade from the days of huts, but not exactly modern. It was almost Victorian; though not at all that big, with deep green shutters and an emerald green paint job that was peeling in some places. It still had a fireplace with very little central heating or air conditioning, but it was cozy and he and Tails loved the old house to death.

As Sonic drew close, he smelled heavenly odors of delicious scrambled eggs and crispy bacon. He licked his lips; already able to taste the delicious breakfast Tails had obviously made. How had he known? And Tails was certainly not faster than he! Sonic recalled faintly being disturbed in his dream by the weight of something warm, but not exactly heavy over his chest first and then gentler over his belly. Had this been Tails? How long, then, had his nap lasted?

Sonic yawned, deciding against thinking about it too hard, and entered the dwelling. "Hi, Tails."

"Hey, Sonic! C'mon in!" Tails seemed excited. He was standing over the stove; his face flushed a deep pink from the heat, and his eyes as bright as ever. Sonic laughed.

"Glad to see you're in a good mood, my nerd. What's gotten you so riled up?" The hedgehog slipped smoothly into a chair and hung his elbow over the back of it. His stomach was already beginning to growl even before the food was in front of him.

"I slept great, thanks to you. So, I decided to pay you back. I noticed you were hungry, so I made you some food." Tails served him a hearty helping of eggs and bacon. "Sorry…I can't cook much," he smiled and sat down across from Sonic with the remainder on his plate.

"Aw, Tails," Sonic felt himself blush and ran over to him. Kneeling to his level, he hugged Tails tightly. "That's so sweet." He kissed the fox's neck gently. "Thank you,"

Tails blushed. "You're welcome." He pulled Sonic away and held him at arm's length. "Now, eat! I want you to enjoy your first day back."

Sonic rubbed Tails' nose with his own, his eyes sparkling with delight. "You know me too well for your own good. I am starving!" He flicked Tails' nose affectionately with his finger. "I promise that we'll snuggle later, okay?" He got up and returned to his seat.

Tails could barely eat of his own free will in Sonic's presence, but before he could even put a forkful in his mouth, Sonic was already done. "You haven't even touched your food," Sonic mused sweetly, muffling a burp. "Did you forget how to eat?" Gently, he took Tails' fork from his hand and put his thumb firmly under Tails' chin. "All right," he smiled. "Say 'ah'."

Tails blushed, but opened his mouth. "It's okay," he said after swallowing the forkful. "I'm really not hungry anymore."

Sonic raised his eyebrows skeptically.

"Okay, maybe a little," Tails bowed his head. "But… I can't eat now. You're here."

"My nerd," Sonic smiled, put the forkful into his own mouth, and touched Tails' lips, passing the eggs from his own mouth to Tails'. "I don't mind doing it this way if I have to. You will eat; even if I have to force you."

Tails closed his eyes. "You care too much, Sonic." Breakfast that morning pretty much continued on like that, and for a few days afterward. Sonic found himself slowly becoming more certain.

Tails. I love you. You're not my rebound; I know now that I don't need anyone's love if

I HAVE YOURS.