Author's Note: Hi. I'm still alive, bahah. /shot. This is an overdue chapter of Tsunderella and well... you know how I had said that it's going to be a two-shot? Well, I lied. There'll be at least one more chapter of this madness because I'm obsessive and I like to keep chapters around the same length ahah. So this may be good news or bad news to you, let me know what you think?
Oh yeah I had a name change because.. I like name changes. Please don't be confused, I'm still Lemon Leaf. I promise not to change it too much.
Warning: I only just roughly reread this for errors; if you find any, don't hesitate to tell me.
Seeing as Midorima's room is still in disarray due to his frantic combing for his decisive lucky acorn, the three had moved to Kise's room. Or rather, Akashi had Kise wrestle Midorima into his room. His brother's room is more tailored to their purpose anyways, as Kise's extremely self conscious. Standing before a large mirror, it takes all of Midorima's willpower not to smash the reflective surface in utter mortification.
"Return my scissors, Shintarou."
"You were the one who went and got it stuck in my wig!" Midorima shrieks in that dignified manner of his. Yes, even as he's dolled up as the perfect princess, even as he fulfils the dream of every prepubescent girl, Midorima's still able to retain a semblance of dignity. Or rather, he's been desperately clinging onto it as Kise and Akashi strip him of his manly pride by caking his face with excessive amounts of floury make-up. Really, they might as well have just slammed his face straight into the ghastly powder. Not that it's a suggestion he'd actually make; Kise comes up with enough bad ideas by himself as it is.
But that's not the point. We're getting off-topic here.
The real problem right now is the death glare that Akashi is giving Midorima right as of this moment; isn't it brazenly obvious who the real victim is right now? Look to Akashi. His arms are folded and his mismatched eyes are narrowed into a restrained yet fierce stare but otherwise, he's as normal as sparkly fairy godparents can get. And Midorima? Well, the undeniable fact that he's a male has been disregarded and he's been stuffed into a plush, forest dress with cutesy frills delicately weaving across the hem. A wig has somehow remained attached to his head even despite his efforts to remove it and erase its existence and courtesy of one Akashi Seijuurou, a pair of glittery scissors has been embedded into its curly mass. If there's one thing Midorima's considered being thankful for, it's that Kise has somehow managed to pile the hair on top of his head; if not for that, the scissors could instead be sitting in his skull. No doubt they'd still be as sparkly and annoying as ever, though, even when they're bathed in blood. And… let's not even get started on how painful it was to fit his sculpted build into that freakish contraption women call corsets.
Look back to Akashi. And now, back to Midorima. Who's the one worthy of pity? Here's a hint: It's not Akashi.
"Hmmm, Akashicchi… I think we're missing something." His soon to be disowned blonde brother mutters as his finger fidgets with the earring he received from Aomine, seemingly deep in thought for once in his life.
"I agree, Ryouta." Distracted, Akashi finally tires of mauling Midorima with his piercing eyes and instead settles for searching for the final piece of their fashion puzzle. Midorima is unable to comprehend how there's even a possibility of there being anything missing. No one is going to care if his dress is missing a single bow. Not when he has enough to give every woman attending an early Christmas present.
"Ah! I know! He needs a purse!" Midorima twitches ever so slightly, "Hmm. What colour should it be..?"
"Why don't we just go with green- like everything else and be done with it already." Grumbles Midorima.
"Silence Shintarou, this isn't your field of expertise. Even an armature can tell that you need accent colours." A harsh comment but nothing unexpected from his brutal fairy godfather. Nevertheless, it still stings.
"Akashicchi's right. We're making the decisions here; if you got to choose what to wear, you'd walk out looking like a carrot again Midorimacchi!" Kise chirps, pouring the salt all over the fresh wound in his pride that Akashi has given him. "You don't have a fashion sense at all!"
Midorima eyes a nearby cup; the temptation to just hurl the object into Kise's face is great and honestly, he doesn't know why he's refraining from doing so. It's not his fault that it just so happened that the outfit he was wearing that day was orange and his hair was as it is always, green. "I don't care about being fashionable. Being presentable will suffice." Midorima grinds out from between his gritted teeth, "besides, you think that walking out looking like a woman is any better!? I'm a man!"
"But we can fix that, Shintarou." Akashi offers (thoughtfully?), with a menacing glint glimmering in his eyes. As if agreeing with its master, the glamorous scissors gives an animated 'snip!' from its comfy position in Midorima's wig.
Midorima knows better than to continue complaining and he wisely shuts his trap.
The two men continue to discuss the possible accent colour options for Midorima's purse and he tunes it out in an attempt to save his sanity. And then of course, Aomine enters the room with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
"BAHAHAHAH! Don't you look just precious!?" Midorima yanks the scissors out of his hair and flings it at Aomine, who annoyingly enough is able to simultaneously dodge it while still laughing his ass off. Damn reflexes. The only sign of Akashi's irritation is a grumpy twitch and Midorima somehow avoids being ripped to shreds as the red-head retrieves it. Is it a universal point and laugh at Midorima day? Because that's what it feels like; the green haired youth wants nothing more than to crawl into his bed and no, he's not moping. He's just tired, alright? Being around morons has this kind of effect on him; there's only so much idiocy he can take in one go. Kise himself is enough to wear Midorima down but no, his inconsiderate excuse of a brother has to go and invite his loud mouth boyfriend, the unsympathetic Kuroko and the equally irritating Kagami to go revel in his misery as well.
It really is no surprise for Midorima that Aomine is amused by something as immature as this; he may trample on Kise's fragile feelings every now and then but in terms of IQ levels, the two are a match made in idiot heaven. The other, red-head idiot on the other hand appears to be torn between being amused and downright horrified. And Kuroko? His reaction scares Midorima the most. Because he's smiling. Kuroko. Never. Smiles. Midorima admittedly, has alwas wanted to witness one of life's rarities, otherwise known as a genuine Kuroko Tetsuya smile. But Kuroko's not smiling with Midorima but at his expense; the bespectacled male is sure that the normally expressionless boy's smile is his equivalent of an amused laugh. The slight quirk of his plump lips may appear innocent, but in reality it's anything but. Even Kise has to admit that his adored Kurokocchi has rather mischievous and sadistic tendencies… such as chasing Kagami with Tetsuya Number Two after he'd done something to rub him the wrong way. Let's just say that Kagami is careful not to accidentally consume any cups of Kuroko's revered milkshake that just so happens to be sitting close by. Midorima certainly didn't think that anyone could be so overprotective over a drink.
Midorima watches as Kuroko's lip starts to twitch uncontrollably and after trying to fight off the offending smile, he just relents and beams uncharacteristically at Midorima while chuckling quietly to himself. Midorima stills. Yup, there goes the rest of his pride. He hangs his head and obediently allows Kise to sling the finished topaz purse over his shoulder, anger dissipating as a wave of exhaustion washes over him.
"These shoes are too small for me" he mumbles to Akashi while sulking, "can't you fix them?"
"No Shintarou. I've used up my daily quota of magic use today."
Midorima knows that it's all a lie; the bastard probably wants to see him trip and faceplant into a bowl of punch. He may rain sparkles and glitter, but there's something sinister about him. Like he derives some sort of sick pleasure from stealing lucky items from unsuspecting, innocent civilians. Midorima may have just a slight grudge. It's not like it's not justified anyways.
"Fine then," he says, brushing off some pesky glitter that has somehow accumulated on his clothing. It's bad enough that Akashi has left a pile of the stuff on his bed but no, he has to go and rub it all over Midorima too. In a completely non sexual way of course. Get your minds out of the gutter. "Are we done here?"
"I think we are."
"No ,wait!" Kise yelps, dramatically leaping over Aomine who's doubled over onto the ground thanks to his unceasing laughter. He reaches over to Midorima and attaches a final bow to Midorima's wig.
"There. Done."
Midorima just rolls his eyes.
High heels make any journey- regardless of whether they're long or short- life-threatening.
Midorima learns this the hard way.
The simple walk to the front door is perilous and he swears that he's tripped over all there is to trip over. The stairs had never looked so daunting before.
He's also convinced that half of the obstacles were oh so conveniently placed by his sadistic fairy godfather.
But is he going to complain about that to him? No. He doesn't have a death wish, you see. Instead, he throws the items at Kise, whom of which he knows is completely innocent.
"Midorimaaaaacchi! Why'd you do that for!?" His pitiful brother whines after having been hit in the neck by a stone that had caused Midorima to stumble in the garden.
"Because you exist." Midorima states truthfully, albeit in a rather blunt manner. Kise has always been the scapegoat and the harsh treatment not just limited to his family members. Even Akashi seems to have caught onto the trend despite that they've only just been introduced to each other. Why? Because Kise's fun to tease. If you ask Aomine when he's not in one of his lazy moods (mind you, that's hardly ever), he may be able to give you an essay on why he enjoys picking on his blond so much. Ranging from his powdered, scarlet cheeks to the tears that threaten to fall from shining amber irises… Kise's overreactions are almost cute.
Midorima's not the type to admit such a thing but he advises people not to mention that to Aomine as he has a tendency to be overprotective.
"You're so mean Midorimacchi…" sniffles Kise before he latches onto Aomine's arm. "Aominecchi, Midorimacchi is being meaaan…"
"Eh?" Aomine blinks boredly, having finally recovered from his laughing seizure on Kise's bedroom floor. "Whatever, Kise. Man up."
"Aomineeechii…" Kise's bottom lip quivers and his puppy-like expression is downright embarrassing but it seems to work wonders on Aomine, even if he's not into PDA. A faint blush works its way onto his tanned skin and shakily, he hooks one arm around Kise's shoulders, pulling him closer.
Is that a victory smirk on Kise's lips? Midorima thinks so. He scoffs, turning away so that he doesn't have to watch anymore of the idiot couple's lovey-dovey interactions.
"Excuse me. I have a question." Kuroko says from his spot by Midorima's side and heck, since when has he been standing there!? Stunned, Midorima stumbles away from him awkwardly, grabbing onto Kagami to prevent himself from toppling over and making a fool of himself. Kagami helps him up and probably only because he doesn't want a grumpy, cross-dressing Midorima anywhere near him. As demonstrated before with Kise, all Midorima needs is a medium sized object to harm someone. His aim is impeccable, after all.
"I've already taken that into consideration, Tetsuya." Akashi replies before withdrawing the dreaded scissors from god knows where. As if on cue, everyone gives a visible flinch before taking a wary step backwards. Akashi only smirks, " this time, I'll be needing Daiki and Taiga's assistance."
The two pale instantly; it's visible even on Aomine's darker skin tone and Midorima feels just a little bit sympathetic towards the two pea-brained fools. With a swift clenching of his fist, Akashi snips with his scissors three times and the two are ambushed violently by a swarm of tingling sparkles that sweep them off their feet.
"The fuck!? Put me down!"
"H-hey!? Where are you taking us!?"
Akashi turns to the others who appear to be as frightened as his two new victims are, "Wait here. It won't take too long." He walks away briskly, followed by Aomine and Kagami who are still yelling their heads off. They disappear behind the house and into the back garden.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!"
Midorima feels as if all the blood has been drained from his body and beside him, Kise prays for their safety. Kuroko, though shaken, is the least distraught.
"I think it is a good idea to refrain from making Akashi mad." In his arms, Tetsuya Number Two whines and snuggles closer to his owner.
Midorima and Kise can only nod dumbly in agreement.
End Notes: My favorite character is Kise, even if I bully him in my stories. It's just so fun. But it's easier for me to write as Midorima because we're actually quite similar. I think I have a bit of Takao in me too; I like to tease people.
Speaking of Takao, I'm thinking of doing another humorous Midotakao story after this in his POV. Either that or a classic angsty Aokise. I'm not really biased to one story idea or the other, so let me know if you have any preferences?
Replies to reviews: Sorry if it seems like I'm leaving some of you hanging but I don't know what's the proper way to reply to reviews. If you're an author on here too, please let me know how you usually reply to things? For now, I'll reply here. It'll look really messy and I apologize but it's just for now. And if you personally want PM's or such, I'll do my best. I'm introverted so I have a fear of PM's ahah.
Midori-Emmi: I love you, my dear first reviewer on this silly story of mine! I feel a little guilty though as I went ahead and shoved a cliche cross-dressing scene in, even after your review. But it's a cinderella parody so it can't be helped. Thanks for all your words of encouragement! It really motivates me.
Akashi like.. there are no rules for him. Or he's the one who makes the rules. I'm glad you agree. I think part of the motivation was from getting to write about magical scissors.
Fantita: Akashi is the best fairy godfather ever. No questions there. He didn't get to use his scissors that much in his chapter... (actually, did he really use them? orz) but the next chapter...? Well, you'll see. /evil grin
Anon-san: Thanks! Extremely-belated happy holidays to you too!
KnBYaoi: We should form some sort of group and recruit people into the KnB fandom. I can't see how you're the only one bathing in the awesome that is KnB seeing as KnB is so gay, it should be renamed Kuroko no basugay. Thanks for your kind words, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!
loveless23:Definitely continuing! Hope this chapter's to your liking! c:
topaz38c: I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter! I think Midorima's in character because... it's easier for a fellow tsundere like me to write as him eheh. But because of this story, I can't take Akashi seriously anymore? Maybe because I'm imagining him with sparkly wings attached to him all the time.