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2. He performs puppet shows for the portraits on his office walls...
"Today's show is called 'The Disgruntled Potions Master'." Dumbledore explained to the former headmasters and headmistresses that lined his walls. He pulled out a puppet that had an uncanny resemblance to Severus Snape.
"Albus," the puppet said in a droning voice, " once again you've passed on my offer to take over as the DDA professor."
Dumbledore pulled out another puppet that resembled himself.
"Severus, if I let you teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, they'll be no one to teach potions, because you could never be replaced" puppet Dumbledore said.
"Well, they don't call me the Potions Master for nothing," puppet Snape said smugly.
"Now Severus, no need to get cocky."
"Blah, blah, blah, I still want that job."
"When I find someone else to teach potions, you'll first in line for the Defense professor."
"Excellent."
Dumbledore made the puppets bow and then looked around the room. Every former head was asleep in their frame. Dumbledore sighed and put his puppets away.