Chapter Two: Theory Trumps Theory

Kyon now had the problem of getting Itsuki the two ginger beers. After a quick internet search, he was relieved to find that, despite the name, they contained no alcohol. Lately the Brigade had been skirting the letter of the law pretty closely. Kyon had no desire to risk any more on its account. The problem was, ginger beers were sold in America. Which made sense. Itsuki was a 'mysterious transfer student' after all...

So he paid a visit to an American trade shop, which informed him that, unfortunately, ginger beer was not popular enough even in America to carry in their shop. Luckily the manager took pity on him and offered to order a special shipment for him, which would occur the week after next. It would take all of his pocket money, though. Kyon sent Itsuki black thoughts. Next time Haruhi took them to a restaurant, Itsuki was paying for sure.

Takumi came to every meeting. As usual, Yuki read her book, Asahina brewed tea, Itsuki and Kyon played Othello, and Haruhi frowned, muttered, and clicked the computer mouse intermittently. Takumi usually watched Itsuki and Kyon play Othello (although he was next to useless at it) and traded places with one of them, or played a video game that he brought from home. Occasionally he let Kyon play his games; Takumi had good taste in them, so Kyon was surreptitiously assembling a list to buy when he had pocket money. If Haruhi ever left him enough after he paid for the Brigade's meals. Haruhi herself paid Takumi no real attention. The club already had a hallowed routine before Takumi came, and it was pretty much the same afterwards.

Kyon knew there was something strange about the new kid, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Yuki said that he was a normal human being, and no unusual data had been generated about him. Itsuki hadn't heard anything from the espers. As always, Mikuru only answered "classified," although she did mention that she was pretty sure that the time-travelers were being careful and that the information wasn't terribly important. For some reason it wasn't necessary to censor that, either.

So Takumi was a complete and utter mystery. He tended to space out when he looked at the girls. Usually Mikuru was the catalyst, but occasionally it was Yuki or Haruhi. Kyon chalked it up to his being otaku, but there was still something funny, and his endless apologies and mutterings about someone called "Seira-tan." Kyon hadn't yet got the nerve to ask if it was Seira was the cartoon girl from Blood Tunes.

Finally Haruhi scheduled a search posse for paranormal paraphernalia. For some reason, she didn't bother making them walk in pairs. Kyon immediately asked all the members to appear to walk in opposite directions and then meet him at the usual meeting spot. He needed to ask them about how to reveal the significance of the club to Takumi. Haruhi might be clueless, but Takumi probably had a right to know what they could do. The Brigade couldn't function without that. Kyon asked the alien, the esper, and the time-traveler to reveal their true identities to Takumi. They consented, except Itsuki, who reminded Kyon of his debt, carefully scrutinized Kyon's reaction, admitted he was kidding and then agreed. Kyon was learning to notice when Itsuki was playing his cards close to the chest, but it didn't annoy him any less when he did it.

They said that Kyon would have to talk to Takumi first about Suzumiya. Kyon wondered whether it was better to reveal Suzumiya's nature last rather than first, and asked for advice on how to reveal it, but they all shrugged and said it was Kyon's job because what worked to convince Kyon might not work for Takumi. No help at all. After school the next day, Kyon took Takumi to Suzumiya's favorite restaurant and ordered ice cream for them both.

The time arrived. Kyon slid into his seat at the parlor. "Hey, Takumi."

"Eh?" Takumi blinked out of whatever daydream he was having. Takumi always sat at tables the same way: slightly hunched over, forearms and palms flat on the table, as if they were glued there, unless the table was too high — then he let his hands rest on his knees. He stared at the grains in the wood rather shallowly, too.

"I've got something to tell you. About the Brigade."

Takumi looked up at Kyon, wide-eyed.

"I wanted to tell you before Suzumiya went and got some crazy ideas, because then it would be too late." Kyon leaned forward. "You may have noticed that the Brigade members follow Suzumiya but don't comply exactly to her orders. Well, except for Mikuru, because... oh, never mind."

Takumi nodded.

"The point is, there's something that we want to prevent Suzumiya from realizing. Her power." Kyon stared intently into Takumi's eyes, which widened again. "I could tell you a lot of stoires, but I don't think you'd believe me unless you saw it for yourself. And unfortunately the talking cat's gone, so we can't ask him."

"T-t-talking c-cat?" Takumi's eyes were as wide as they could get. It was really freaky.

Kyon talked faster. "Yeah. He's my cat now. You can see him if you like; he doesn't talk anymore. Here's what Haruhi can do: she can rewrite reality if she wishes hard enough. Cats can't talk, right? Just this one time, though, we were filming a movie and Haruhi wanted a witch's cat familiar … which apparently meant that the cat could talk. I never really figured that one out. We had to make it promise not to speak in front of her because then she'd accept it as real. As you'll come to find out, the world is oddly malleable to her desires. The cat was rather cooperative though."

"Oh." Takumi's hands started shaking.

"Everyone has their own theories. Here's the rundown: Koizumi thinks that she is the god of this world, and the world didn't exist three years ago. Nagato says that she generates data and could be the key to human evolution. And Asahina, well, she says that the past can't be accessed since three years ago. It is possible that none of the three would even exist if it not for her. She did announce at the beginning of the year that she was looking for espers, aliens, and time-travelers, even if she didn't believe me when I told her that they were already in her club. I'm the only normal human in the Brigade."

Takumi stood up. "So you're saying. . ."

"None of us want this world to be deleted and rebooted. Which is exactly what we're afraid that Haruhi is going to do when she gets bored playing in our world. Since you're in the club, too, you need to help us cover reality for Haruhi as best you can."

"The... the world... is in danger?" Takumi backed away from the table.

Kyon didn't know what to say to that. "Um. Yeah. Kinda."

"Then she's the most powerful gigalomaniac in existence!" Takumi exclaimed, horrified.

"What's a gigalo— Gigalo-monstrak?"

"Gigalomaniac. I'm a gigalomaniac," Takumi said, receding into himself again and sitting down. "I make delusions into reality. But- or—although sometimes they're just delusions. Yua told me I was schizophrenic or something before she tried to turn me over to the police, but then someone killed my doctor so I guess I'll never know now…Er."

"Oh," said Kyon. I guess I'm the only normal human here, again. A trickle of sweat dripped down his forehead. He pinched the bridge of his nose. The police. "Do you have an, ah, society, by any chance?" This job was way harder than the rest of the Brigade gave him credit for.

"It's not a society by any means," Takumi muttered. "We just exist. There's Ayase, and Kozzy, and Sena... other gigalomaniacs who took me under their wing. They asked me to join the Brigade." He stared bleakly at Kyon.

Great, we have another agenda.

"There isn't an agenda. They just asked me to keep an eye on it," said Takumi, inexplicably.

Kyon covered his eyes and groaned. "So you knew all of this already."

Takumi pulled himself straighter, and his eyes went wide again, but with surprise and gratitude this time. "No—-no, truth is, actually, this explains a lot! I found a lot of errors around your school ... that's why."

"Errors," said Kyon, holding his head, and wondered why he wanted to know.

Takumi nodded. "Yeah. Problems with reality." He returned to staring at the table.

Kyon blew through his lips. "A gigalomaniac. We always knew Haruhi was a bit of a megalomaniac, but I guess what you're saying is that she is a maniac, but a different kind because she actually has godlike powers."

"Yes, I suppose so." Takumi squirmed. And, again, Kyon was suddenly struck with pity and a bit of regret for what he said. When he reflected, he had never met anyone so unlikely to be diagnosed with megalomania. If anything, Takumi needed an extra boost of confidence.

"Sorry, I'm just a bit tense." Kyon sighed. "I've known Haruhi longer than you have, and sometimes her cluelessness gets on my nerves. So, if there's anything you can add about Haruhi, Nishijou-kun...?"

"If she's as powerful as you say, then she might have called other gigalomaniacs into existence, too. Maybe she sensed her own abilities and made more people like herself? No. It doesn't fit." Takumi frowned and shook his head. "I've never heard of anyone who could delude the entire world, not just their immediate surroundings — at least not without a booster machine." Takumi blanched. "But then...she doesn't know, I guess, because the scale of the changes are so big. She doesn't have delusions innately, like me. Her imagination is just a bit too lively, which actually gives her a bit more control. It lines up with your story… the girl gigalomaniacs I know seem more like her. For us, sometimes rewriting reality is a matter of wishing hard enough. If a gigalomaniac wishes hard enough, a D-Sword isn't necessary."

Kyon sighed. "That's Haruhi for you. Rules don't apply. What's a D-Sword?"

Takumi's lips twitched (perhaps with amused irony) but otherwise he didn't appear to notice the question. "However, the world could not have begun three years ago for her being a gigalomaniac to be true. Haruhi was born to people; she deludes other people, some of whom existed before she did. Haruhi didn't create the world three years ago—-she overlaid it." Takumi's eyes widened. "You might consider what other kinds of events were going on three years ago. I need to tell the others about this," said Takumi. He got up and bolted.

"Uh. Yeah. Okay, right." For a moment, Kyon stared at his empty ice-cream bowl, trying to kickstart his brain. Then he dropped his spoon, threw down his napkin, and ran to the door.

Takumi was gone, leaving no trail behind him. What a skittish guy.