Chapter 2
The next day was Sunday, and as such, the children at the orphanage had few assigned duties and were free to do as they wished. Normally, Jun spent her Sundays reading the motorcycle magazines she had scavenged from the students who worked at the back of the orphanage, in the machine shop. There were few trades available to the children who graduated from the orphanage's high school, but mechanic was one of them. Normally, the shop was filled with older boys, but Jun slipped in as often as she could. There was something about the smell of the place: grease, gasoline and paint. It brought her to another world, and reading the discarded magazines she picked up around the machine shop was a way to bring her back there, when she wasn't allowed inside. Technically, this was most of the time. The machine shop was not a place for young children, and especially not for girls.
The girls at the orphanage were all prissy, caring for their worn, threadbare clothing as if it was designer apparel. They stuck up their noses at Jun, who more often than not had dirt or grease on her clothing, and preferred to wear boys' blue jeans rather than those silly dresses the girls were offered. The other girls primped and brushed their hair for hours, while Jun simply stuck hers into pigtails or braids. As a result, the girls didn't pay any attention to her, yet neither did the boys. Jun was pretty much on her own most of the time. But she didn't mind; being on her own allowed her plenty of time to learn about engines and motorcycles. Every year at Christmas, model kits were donated to the orphanage, and these were given to the boys as gifts. Jun desperately hoped to be given a motorcycle kit this year, instead of the hair bows, aprons and dolls that were usually allocated to the girls. She knew she should be grateful to have any gift at all, but if only she could have a model kit! She longed for the day when she could finally build a motorcycle of her own.
The one source of companionship Jun had was in her assigned duties. She spent most of her afternoons working in the nursery, taking care of the youngest occupants of the orphanage. Normally, she would welcome the break on Sunday to pursue her own interests, but today she couldn't help but think of Jinpei. He would be scared and lonely, not understanding what was going on. Maybe if he saw her, she could comfort him, help him acclimate to the orphanage. It was with these thoughts in mind that she went to the nursery as soon as breakfast was finished.
"What are you doing here, Jun?" the attendant asked her. "It's Sunday."
"I want to visit with Jinpei." Jun replied. "He's the new boy that arrived yesterday. I found him wandering around Mt. Jupiter."
"New boy…" the attendant mused, looking through the records. "Oh, yes! Here he is! He was placed in bed 34."
"I'll go check on him." Jun offered, already heading toward the indicated place before the attendant could respond.
Bed 34, like most of the 'beds' in the nursery, was actually a crib, and Jun found Jinpei standing inside of his, a lost and frightened expression on his face. But when she called his name and he saw her, a tentative smile broke out on his wide face.
"Jinpei!" Jun cried, lifting him up and hugging him to her. "You smell so clean!" Unlike the previous day, his hair was no longer tangled, although it stuck out at odd angles. Jun had never seen a baby with so much hair. He smiled even wider, grabbing at her hair.
"No, Jinpei." Jun told him, looking him sternly in the face, but he refused to catch her eye. Jun deposited him into the crib, grabbing his cheeks in her hands and gently encouraging him to look at her.
"No, Jinpei. Do not grab my hair." She emphasized her words by peeling his fingers from around her pigtail. Once his hand was freed, she placed it around her neck, and the boy seemed to accept that. He let go of her other pigtail of his own accord and placed that hand around her neck as well.
"Good boy!" she told him, and Jinpei actually grinned, seeming to understand the sentiment. She was reminded that he had three teeth, all of which appeared to be sprouting at an outward angle as he displayed them to her. She wondered if they had grown that way, or if he had been through some kind of accident. But of course, there was no way Jinpei would be able to tell her such things. Come to think of it, she hadn't heard him talk at all. Weren't babies supposed to start speaking around a year old? Despite her insistence that the previous day had been his birthday, Jun was pretty certain that Jinpei was actually older than a year… perhaps fifteen months? He should be able to speak.
"You're Jinpei." she told him, placing her hand on his scrawny chest. "And I'm Jun." She then placed her hand on her own chest. Jinpei looked at her with interest, but did not make any sounds.
"Jinpei." she repeated, this time using his hand on his own chest. "Jun." She again used the boy's hand to demonstrate. There was an intelligent light in his eyes, and when she repeated the words, she felt like he understood. Yet he did not utter either name in response.
"It looks like you need a diaper change, Jinpei." Jun realized, as she hefted him in her arms. She brought him over to the changing table, and began her task. Unlike the previous day, Jinpei was relaxed and curious, looking around. As she began to wipe him clean, he giggled.
"Are you ticklish, Jinpei?" she asked him, teasing his bellybutton with her finger. Jinpei giggled again, and produced a thin stream of urine in response. Fortunately, Jun was familiar enough with changing baby boys that she had the fresh diaper ready, and was able to slap it into place before any mess was made. But as she did so, the boy looked at her expectantly, and she tickled him once again. This time, there was no doubt that he was enjoying the attention, and he laughed happily the more her fingers moved.
"You certainly are an active little guy." she told the squirmy boy, as he attempted to roll off of the table. She quickly completed the diaper change, then put him down onto the floor.
That was her big mistake. He began to run, taking off like a shot, moving between the cribs at a speed she never would have dreamed for someone so small. It seemed as if some food, a fresh diaper, and a good night's sleep had restored Jinpei's energy. Jun dashed after the toddler, chasing after him for a good two minutes before she was finally able to catch him. When he did, he smiled at her once more, pleased with their game.
"Jinpei." Jun shook her head, laughing. She wanted to tell him not to run away from her again, but the truth was that she was glad to see him so happy, so carefree, after what he had been through. She repeated the exercise of telling him his name, and hers. Yet there was no change. He simply smiled at her, appearing to comprehend the meaning behind the words, yet refusing to acknowledge them verbally.
Jun thought about it for a moment, and realized that other than laughing and crying, Jinpei had not made any sounds. Was he incapable of speech? She tickled him under his chin and looked into his mouth when it opened to giggle. His tongue appeared to be normal, and moving around. Surely he was capable of making sounds. Yet he appeared healthy outside of this, and so Jun set the issue aside. She spent the remainder of the day playing with Jinpei, feeding him, and changing his diapers, pleased to see him adapting well to life at the orphanage.
"I won't be here tomorrow morning, Jinpei." Jun told the boy, as she put him down before leaving for dinner. "I have to go to school. But I'll come by in the afternoon, when it's time for my work assignment."
"He'll be fine." one of the nursery attendants assured Jun, as she saw the girl leaving. "He has to get used to being without you. You can't always be here. Besides, you have other things going on in your life."
"Yeah." Jun agreed reluctantly, turning her head to look back toward Jinpei, who was standing up in his crib, staring at her from across the room. "But…"
"No buts." the attendant admonished gently. "I can see that you're attached to him, and that's all well and good, but he needs to be able to function without you being present. You're not his mother, Jun, nor should you be."
"Right." Jun hung her head, leaving the nursery and heading to the cafeteria for dinner. She wasn't Jinpei's mother… yet something inside wanted him to think of her in that manner. In a way, she already felt for Jinpei as… well, not a mother… more like a sister. An older sister. She hadn't realized until that moment how much she had wanted to have a sibling, and the more she thought on it, the more she liked the idea. Few children at the orphanage had any blood ties in the world. But one thing Jun had learned in her short life was that blood ties weren't necessary to develop attachments and relationships. Who cared if Jinpei came from somewhere else? They could still be brother and sister, in every way that mattered.
The more she pondered the idea, the more she liked it.
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The following day, Jun attended school, forcing herself to pay attention and do her work in a manner acceptable to her teachers. After all, if they were displeased with her performance, they could assign her to detention, or extra homework, or any number of tasks that would prevent her from going to see Jinpei. Fortunately, she rarely had any trouble at school, quickly picking up the material and often moving ahead with older children as the teachers attempted to place her with students at the same level of ability. Sometimes, this meant that Jun was working alongside much older children, particularly in math class, where there were a number of eleven and twelve year old boys who had difficulty progressing onward with the subject matter. Being small and slight, not to mention four to five years younger, and a girl to boot, Jun had earned their disdain and occasional enmity. Yet she didn't mind, as she realized that within a couple of months she would progress beyond this level, and not have to deal with them in this manner any longer.
Still, there was one advantage to being in a class with the older boys: these were the same students who worked in the machine shop. She surreptitiously listened to them discussing their work there, which they found far more enjoyable than math class. Her eager ears picked up as much as they could about engines, tools and mechanics, and more importantly, the hours the boys worked in the shop. Knowing which hours they worked meant that she knew which hours they would not be present, and this made it easier for her to sneak inside the machine shop on occasion, examining the projects there and lifting any old magazines to read later on. Only boys were permitted to work in the machine shop, but Jun desperately hoped to change the administration's mind on that matter in a couple of years when she was old enough to apply. It would help if she could demonstrate a proficiency beforehand… but obtaining such proficiency was difficult when she wasn't officially allowed to be anywhere near the machine shop.
"What are you looking at?" one of the boys sneered, when he caught her staring. "Are you copying my homework?" The boy's name was Dengu, and he was something of a leader amongst the pre-teen boys at the orphanage. As such, the other boys laughed at his feeble joke, and Dengu swung his greasy hair around in a satisfied fashion. Jun's cheeks burned with shame at having been caught looking, and she quickly returned her eyes to her work. She didn't mind the teasing so much, but it was dangerous to catch the boys' attention… especially Dengu's attention. Everyone knew that the teenage boys, who were separated from the younger children at the orphanage, were all in gangs. It was rumored that Dengu had already been recruited by a gang and was in possession of weapons. Whether or not this was true, it was dangerous to catch his eye, and Jun instantly regretted having done so.
"Just stay away from us, you little freak!" Dengu called loudly, as Jun hunched over in her chair and wished herself invisible. Fortunately, just then the teacher entered the classroom and the boys were all forced to return to their seats. Yet Jun thought she sensed their eyes on her. There was no way to tell of course, as she had to keep her eyes to the front during the lesson. It could be her imagination. Or maybe there was some sixth sense speaking to her.
She didn't know.
But she did know the lesson. For the next hour, she answered questions posed to her by the teacher, and did the work put in front of her. As usual, her answers were correct and the teacher simply told her to read ahead to the next chapter in her ancient, ratty textbook, while the older boys got extra help.
Jun didn't mind. While the textbook was technically outdated, a hand-me-down from the town schools, math hadn't really changed much in the past few decades, and as such she found the material interesting and relevant. Even better, it allowed her to lose herself in another world, far from the one she inhabited. She had never been able to distract herself from her own life as well as she did by reading a book, or one of the magazines from the machine shop… or now, when she spent time with Jinpei.
At lunchtime, she steered clear of the older boys, and sat near the other girls her own age, ignoring their superior looks and snide comments. While minorly annoying, there was no danger here. Jun had long since accepted that she would never be like other females; there was something wrong with her makeup, such that her interests were too different from what girls generally enjoyed. In a way, she liked being a loner: unique, all on her own.
But then there was Jinpei.
Jun found herself remembering the baby's goofy smile, and her attempts to get him to speak to her. Perhaps, this afternoon he would finally say a word. Something to let her know that he was listening to her.
But after school was out and she was finally able to make her way to the nursery, she found Jinpei just as silent as the previous day. He was clearly happy to see her, and did appear to be listening, his eyes wide and fixated on her as she attended to him. Yet he never uttered a word.
It didn't matter. He would. Eventually.
88888
The days went by quickly as Jun got into a routine: school, work assignments at the nursery, and the machine shop. While school and work assignments were regular hours, she usually visited the machine shop in the hour of 'free time' the children had before bedtime, or over the weekends, as that was when the shop was empty. Yet she never knew if she would have the opportunity, because sometimes the boys would be in the machine shop working on various projects, and she would have to scuttle her plans to sneak inside.
Even so, she spent any time she was not in school or the nursery reading through the magazines she had taken, or looking at books on car and motorcycle mechanics from the library. It especially helped if they had diagrams. Sometimes, the text was too dry and boring to digest, but she found that detailed diagrams helped her visualize where everything should be, until she could picture it all in her mind. Mentally, she designed her own motorcycle, and knew exactly how she'd build it… if she could only have access to the tools, the space, and the parts necessary for the job.
That was a pipe dream. She could never do anything so grand on her own, without proper access to the machine shop. So Jun instinctively settled on the next best way to demonstrate some skill: acquiring a motorcycle model.
Every year, a number of detailed car and motorcycle models were donated to the orphanage, and these were generally given away to the boys at Christmastime, particularly those who demonstrated an interest or an aptitude for mechanics. The donor was a corporate sponsor that owned a number of auto repair shops, and as such had a vested interest in training young men as a future workforce. Jun not only had her eye on one of those model kits, but eventually on one of those jobs as well. She didn't care that there were no other girls in such positions; she was used to being amongst boys, yet being ostracized. But the first step would be to obtain one of those kits and put it together, showing what she could do, to convince the administrators to let her into the machine shop as an actual student, rather than sneaking in at night when no one else was around.
And Jun knew she could do it. Sure, she had never done anything like this before, but she had read so much about it. Surely, given the chance, she could prove herself. With a childish confidence, she knew that this one kit would be all she needed to lead to bigger and better things.
Christmas was only a few weeks away. Jun decided that the easiest approach would be something direct. As such, that afternoon when school was over, before heading to the nursery for her work assignment, Jun went by the Administrator's office.
The Administrator was a kindly woman, but exhausted and clearly overwhelmed by the demands of her position. Sometimes, it seemed as if she had permanent frown lines etched into her face, which often scared the younger children into thinking that she was mean. Yet Jun knew differently. It was the Administrator who had spoken up for her, allowing Jun to be placed into higher level math classes. And Jun had seen her assisting the little ones when they were hurt, even accompanying them into the medical rooms. Perhaps the Administrator could help with this issue as well.
The office door was cracked open, and as Jun approached, she heard the Administrator's voice speaking in low, polite tones. When she peeked in, she realized that the woman was on the telephone. She saw Jun, and held up a finger, indicating that she should wait. Jun nodded, slipping inside and pressing her back against the wall, to disturb the Administrator as little as possible. The words of the woman's one-sided phone call drifted over her.
"Yes, I understand that the budget is tight, but I can't…"
"You don't understand, these children have needs, not quotas. Some require more medical care or specialized schooling… No, I can't just 'treat them the same as everyone else'." The Administrator's forehead furrowed in its usual pattern, and now Jun could hear an element of frustration underlying her words.
"You can't take away security personnel!" she exclaimed. "The situation with the older children is already at a boiling point. They're grouping together in unhealthy ways… No, I'm not talking about that; contraceptives are not going to address this issue. I mean gangs. Yes, gangs. Somehow, there's an outside influence creeping in, training these boys, and when they turn eighteen, they're joining the criminal elements… Yes, I know I have to be harsh, but I'd rather prevent such things from happening in the first place, and that's not going to happen if I can't have eyes and ears watching for these influences. I need to have more training programs, more activities, to give these kids an alternative… Yes, I know the budget is tight! You've already reminded me of that four times in this conversation alone. But I'm telling you that if these kids leave the orphanage only to commit crimes, that will incur a much higher cost on society, not to mention for your police force and…" The Administrator bowed her head, placing her face into her upturned palm for support.
"Yes, I know that's something to worry about for the future, but these children have needs now." the Administrator continued her plea. "If you could just explain that to the council, and request more funds, it would be of so much help. I'm not asking for a lot, only the three percent cost of living increase you allocated to the other city departments… Yes, I know the money has to come from somewhere, but didn't tax revenues increase ten percent this year? Surely, a small portion of those additional funds could be allocated…" She frowned again, the lines etching deeper into her face, as if they might never come out.
"I understand, Lord Mayor. I appreciate you listening to my concerns. If there's any possibility of a change… yes, well, I'll just hope for a miracle then. Goodbye." The Administrator slammed down the handset, so hard that Jun jumped in surprise. The Administrator looked up, equally started by the gasp coming from Jun's lips; it was clear that she had forgotten that anyone else was in the room. For her part, Jun didn't quite comprehend everything that the Administrator had said during her telephone conversation, but she understood that it had been about money. The teachers and other orphanage personnel were always saying that there wasn't enough money for things, and as such, the concept was not new to Jun. Now she saw that this went all the way to the head of the organization, and knowing this did not fill her with confidence. Still, what she wanted wouldn't cost money; the kits were donated every year. Jun was only asking for one.
"Jun." the Administrator smiled weakly. "You wanted to see me? What did you wish to discuss?"
"I…" her voice squeaked, and she suddenly found all of her courage deserting her. Still, Jun wasn't about to lose her chance. She reached deep down inside, finding something there that allowed her to pull herself up and voice her request.
"I wanted to ask about Christmas." she began.
"Christmas is still a few weeks away." the Administrator reminded her kindly.
"Yes, well…" Jun took a deep breath and jumped in with both feet. "I was wondering if we would be getting the usual gifts. The ones that are donated each year?"
"Yes, I believe we will." the Administrator assured Jun. "I have already received commitments from the usual donors. Don't worry, Jun, you will have a present at Christmas. You're… seven years old now, isn't that right?"
Jun nodded wordlessly.
"Then this year you will receive a sewing kit." the Administrator smiled. "Are you looking forward to making something? A dress or a stuffed toy?"
"No." Jun shook her head. "I don't want a sewing kit."
"Would you like an apron, then?" the Administrator asked. "Those are generally allocated to the eight and nine year old girls, but I might be able to…"
"No, not an apron either." Jun swallowed nervously, taking the final step. "I want a model kit. One of the cars… or the motorcycles."
"A motorcycle…" the Administrator took a long look at Jun, her eyes carefully studying her wide eyes, her earnest face, her patched dungarees.
"I want to get into the machine shop class when I turn nine." Jun said, all in a rush. "I know it's for boys, but I thought if I got one of the kits, I could put it together, and show them that I can do it too, that I could be there…"
"Jun, the machine shop class is for boys only." the Administrator explained gently. "Girls take the home and hearth class. You'll learn to cook and sew… things you'll need to run a household someday."
"But I don't want to run a household. I want to build a motorcycle!" Jun insisted, her eyes blazing with determination. "I will build a motorcycle! But it would so much easier if I were allowed into the machine shop."
"Jun…"
"Please?" Jun asked. "I know I'm a girl, but I don't want to do those girl things. Please?"
"Jun, I…" The Administrator stopped speaking for a moment, looking carefully at her, then down at the papers on her desk.
"I understand." she said finally. "I can see that this is important to you. We normally get a limited number of kits. And I am required to allocate them to the boys: that is one of the stipulations made by the donor."
"But…" Jun felt tears coming to her eyes and she swiped at her face with the back of her hand, doing her best to force them back inside before they spilled out onto her cheeks.
"But if there is an extra…" the Administrator stopped short of promising anything, yet the possibility hung in the air, a warm glow that Jun could almost feel inside of her. "I will see what I can do."
"Thank you!" Jun cried, a smile emerging onto her face, the tears vanishing.
"There are no guarantees." the Administrator told her. "You may yet receive a sewing kit. But if there are any extra… I'll do what I can."
"Thank you." Jun nodded more solemnly, understanding that this was still uncertain. "Thanks a lot. For everything."
"I hope it works out for you, Jun." the Administrator said, her voice suddenly tired and weak. "I really do."
"I hope so too." Jun replied. And she did have a glimmer of hope. But that was more than she had had in a long time.