Disclaimer: And here's the second chapter.
"TK421 why aren't you at your post? TK421 do you copy?"
"Uh sir, that's the call button for the slave dancers,"
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"TK421 why aren't you at your post? TK421 do you copy?"
"Uh sir, you just cancelled the Brady Bunch,"
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"Are you a little short for a Storm Trooper?" Leia asked.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A PIEBRAIN MIDGET SIZED LITTLE RUNT?" Luke shouted throwing a tantrum.
'Note to self, never mention this guys height,' Leia thought.
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"TK421 why aren't you at your post? TK421 do you copy?"
Minutes later the door opened revealing a very pissed off Darth Vader. "Who the hell cut off the broadband?"
"Ooops,"
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"If you'll excuse me," Anakin said jumping out of the speeder only to get hit by an oncoming transport.
"Well, I guess that makes Anakin the fourth Jedi to be hit by an oncoming vehicle," Obi-won shrugged flying towards the nearest striper bar.
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"Oh my god! Vader killed Obi-won!"
"You bastard!"
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"What's this?" Obi-won asked staring at Jar-Jar.
"It surprises me how little you know about the universe young one, Gungans are considered a delicacy on some planets. Quite tasty when cooked in yogurt sauce," Qui-gon replied.
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"Oh my god! Vader killed Obi-won!"
"Ah who cares? I never like the old fossil anyway,"
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"The beer will be with you always," Luke heard in his head as he flew towards the rebel base in his dildo fighter after destroying the Betty Ford clinic.
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"Some one was in the pod. The tracks go off in this direction," one trooper said.
"Look sir!" another reported holding a stack of magazines. "Playboy!"
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"TK421 why aren't you at your post? TK421 do you copy?"
"TK422 here, TK421 has his head stuck in an exhaust port,"
"How'd that happen?"
"He had his helmet on backwards again,"
"Who the hell is training these guys?"
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"Some one was in the pod. The tracks go off in this direction," one trooper said.
"Look sir!" another reported pointing at a blonde woman lying in the sand wearing a bright red one-piece bathing suit. "Pamela Anderson!"
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"TK421 why aren't you at your post? TK421 do you copy?"
"TK421 here, I'm unable to turn on my receiver right now because I'm either drunk, dead, watching porno, reading Playboy, smoking pot or having sex with a cat lady from Scratching Post 8. Please leave a message after the swear word. FUCK!"
"This is one fucked up empire,"
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"You've done well Lord Vader. And now I sense you wish to complete your Barbie dolls collection?" the Emperor asked causing massive murmurs among the soldiers.
"You said you wouldn't tell anyone Master! How could you!" Vader wailed running off and crying like a little girl.
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"TK421 why aren't you at your post? TK421 do you copy?"
"Uh sir, you just cancelled South Park,"
"Damn it!"
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"It was I who allowed the alliance to know the location of the Playboy mansion. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band,"
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