Chapter 1

A/N: Thanks to the guest for the review- again, the bold is VERONICA ROTH'S WRITING- Still introducing the story form where I left off and decided to change most things. All rights go to Veronica Roth. No copyright infringements intended. The more reviews I get, the more I will work on this story.

Also, sorry about the cover image, but my account has frozen on the image section and at the moment, will not allow me to change it. I will ASAP.

Tris POV

My head throbs painfully as all the blood left in my body rushes to the top end of my body, making me feel like I'm a faucet about to burst. Each cell strikes a nerve on its unforgettable journey, shudders rocking through my body as the pinpricks jab into my skin. I can't bear to visualise what my appearance has come to be. It is simply too torturous. I can feel the sweat beading on my forehead, and the hair sticking there like it is being attracted- like magnets. The force behind is irresistible.

The pressure squeezing my body inside out is pure agony, and the walls of blackness are closing in on me briskly. I can't tell whether my eyelids are open or closed, although my best guess is that they are sealed tightly shut, blocking out the images before me. The difference in brightness is like a blindfold, and I can barely see anything. If only I had it in me to fight for just a little longer. Anyhow, there is not much time left. I can already tell.

To my surprise, strong grubby hands catch my head before I can smash my skull into the ground. The hands are not gentle, and are certainly not a pair I recognised. This was definitely not a good sign. It only meant that I was going to die much more painfully. What else could they want? Aside from me dead, I don't see the point either way. I am already dying. Why can't they let me endure my last moments alone, in what little elements of peace that I could manage to summon? Is that really too much to ask?

Seconds pass. Then minutes. Still no change. The time whipping by me no longer bears any meaning. The unfamiliar hands laid me on the floor, pressing down on my forehead, enforcing me to stay down. That is useless really. Even if they weren't restraining me, where would I summon the strength to move?

My legs and arms droop limply, and I promptly lose control of my own body. My senses are foreign to me, and I can't move a single muscle. Maybe this was death. Imprisonment from my own materials. Such joy.

Just as I think that I have finally began to fade away, I feel a needle breaking the surface of my skin, -plunging deep down into my arm. The liquid that travels into my body unexpectedly causes me to gag, repulsed by the sickly feeling of the cold needle. With my elbows and knees bent wildly in all directions, I lose consciousness, lost and drowning in the inky blackness which claimed me. Whether this is actually death, or just another rouse, I only hope that I can resist the serum… or is it already too late?

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Tobias POV

As the wind rushes past my face, I resist the urge to brush my hair out of my eyes, letting it roam wherever it pleases. Usually this would bother me. However, not today. Today is a day of which I have conquered our greatest mission- The city. Evelyn and Johanna had come to agreement terms, and thanks to everyone, Genetically Damaged or not, we have succeeded in our mission of saving the experiments. From here, things are only going to grow better- I am sure.

For one thing, it means that I am going to see Tris again. I have missed her, and her grief is bound to be paralysing her. I can't quite predict how she had been coping after Caleb…

I am going to have to avoid that topic for now. I don't want to strike a nerve with Tris around. I only wish that I can prepare myself for what is coming, good or bad. Since I do not possess the ability to predict the future, I remain clueless. Hopefully matters will prove positive, although I can never be sure.

I had previously witnessed and spotted the glint of anger in Marcus' eyes when he had been denied the leader of the people. He had seemed so determined… so sure…

Something had stirred up in his brain- I have lived through his anger and pain as a child. I know when something bad is about to be thrown at me, quick or slow. I am beginning to feel that familiar feeling bubbling up inside of me again. Something isn't right… something…

Christina leans forward to whisper into my ear. "So you did it? It worked?"

I nod. In the rearview mirror I see her touch her face with both hands, grinning into her palms. I know how she feels: safe. We are all safe.

I only wish that I could rid myself of this uneasy feeling that shakes me every now and then. I am sure everything will be fine… Tris is fine… our plan worked…

I repeat these words over and over in my mind, indenting the words into my brain. Hopefully if they will remain there, then I will be able to believe their wise words.

"Did you inoculate your family?" I say.

"Yep. We found them with the Allegiant, in the Hancock building", she says. "But the time for the reset has passed- it looks like Tris and Caleb stopped it".

Hana and Zeke murmur to each other on the way, marvelling at the strange, dark world we move through. Amar gives the basic explanation as we go, looking back at them instead of the road far too often for my comfort.

I try to ignore my surges of panic as he almost veers into streetlights or road barriers, and focus instead on the snow. I have always hated the emptiness that winter brings, the blank landscape and the stark difference between sky and ground, the way it transforms trees into skeletons and the city into wasteland.

Maybe this winter I can be persuaded otherwise. We drive past the fences and stop by the front doors, which are no longer manned by guards. We get out, and Zeke seizes his mother's hand to steady her as she shuffles through the snow.

As we walk into the compound, I know for a fact that Caleb succeeded, because there is no one in sight. That can only mean that they have been reset, their memories forever altered.

"Where is everyone?" Amar says.

We walk through the abandoned security checkpoint without stopping, On the other side, I see Cara.

The side of her face is badly bruised, and there's a bandage on her head, but that's not what concerns me. What concerns me is the troubled look on her face.

"What is it?" I say.

Cara shakes her head.

"Where's Tris?" I say.

"I'm sorry Tobias".

"Sorry about what?" Christina says roughly. "Tell us what happened!"

"Tris went into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb", Cara says. "She survived the death serum, and set off the memory serum, but she... she was shot. And she didn't survive. I'm so sorry".

Most of the time I can tell when people are lying, and this must be a lie, because Tris is still alive, her eyes bright and her cheeks flushed and her small body full of power and strength, standing in a shaft of light in the atrium.

Tris is still alive, she wouldn't leave me here alone, she wouldn't go into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb.

"No", Christina says, shaking her head. "No way. There has to be some mistake".

Cara's eyes well up with tears. It's then that I realise: Of course Tris would go into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb. Of course she would.

Christina yells something, but to me her voice sounds muffled, like I have submerged my head underwater. The details of Cara's face have also become difficult to see, the world smearing together into dull colors.

All I can do is stand still- I feel like if I just stand still, I can stop it from being true, I can pretend that everything is all right. Christina hunches over, unable to support her own grief, and Cara embraces her, and

All I'm doing is standing still.

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When my eyes snap open hazily, the strong sense of regret overpowers me, the air that is drawn into my lungs sticking on the inside walls of my throat. The impact of bad air sends me gasping for air that won't choke me.

My mind is pulsing with thoughts which refuse to be ignored, no matter how strongly I will them away. They are always there.

I regret not standing by Tris- I never should have left her. I also regret not seeing to Marcus, as for the uneasy feeling is still lingering around me, forming a bubble around every breath.

Inhale. Exhale. I have to remember how to breathe- I have to keep my heart beating… but what is the point? Why should I even put the effort into living? Why can't I float away too, weightless, light as a feather? I want these heavy weights off my shoulders, but they will not disappear. They are crushing me, each step I take, mentally or physically, leads me closer to collapsing. Maybe that will be good- will it take the pain away?

Tris is gone… she…

Interrupting my line of perplexed thoughts, the lights in the unfamiliar room snap on, the bright illuminations form the bulbs blinding me, removing sight from my position. The yellow beams show dust clouding around each and every inch of the air surrounding me, tightening the walls of my throat even further.

It all feels so dramatic. I still can't work out what I had done to deserve it.

Of course, always selfish, my pupils attempt to reclaim that advantage, blinking furiously as they narrow in size.

Once my eyes focus, I take in my surroundings lifelessly, not bothering to work my way into any real details.

What is the point? If she is gone then why am I still living? How did she deserve to die whereas I did not? So many things I should have done… so much that there is still left to say, and now I can never say it, for her ears will never hear me. The sounds will not reach her. Her eyes will not spot me. Her lips will never again taste mine. When she went, she took me with her.

I am lost…

The room has pale white walls, and no windows either side, creating a wave of nausea which washed over me. It isn't a particularly large space either, which only adds to the terrorising feeling of claustrophobia. I am lying on a hard, white sheeted cot, my legs hanging over the edges of the brittle structure. I am lying cold and alone… Tris is not beside me…

What would she want me to do now? No matter how hard I think, I just can't tell. I am no sidekick, and there is no girl with short cut blonde hair to ask.

A shadow droops over me, blocking out the lights once again. This really isn't helping my eyes adjust. It is only making it worse. I want to see- I want to live… but I can't. I simply cannot.

"You awake Four?" Amar's voice booms out form above.

It is only Amar- nobody else. I can relax now… I can breathe…

I groan mutedly, my throat vibrating, tickling my insides. Even though I am awake now, I would give anything to swap the situation around. I know that I will never be able to drift off again, so why had I been woken?

The surges of anger only irritate me as I continue to overreact in my head, and I sigh in relief as I realise that my lips are clamped together, preventing any of the vile words from escaping into the air for all ears to hear.
I shake my head disapprovingly at Amar. "I am now".

He chuckles, patting my arm in sympathy. Only I don't want him, or anyone else feeling sorry for me. It just didn't feel right. Something is still missing, like one minor piece of the truth has been hidden beyond my reach. The daunting questions still linger in my mind, although I find it impossible to seek the answers. However, if I can't find them, who can?

'Sorry to wake you', he apologises.

I shake my head again. "Yeah", I mutter sarcastically. "I really appreciate it".

I roll over onto my stomach, burying my face into the uncomfortable rock solid pillow and whish that all the images would just disappear from my memory. Nothing is ever that simple. Amar is not making things any easier.

He stretches out his bulky arms, rolling me back over to face him while I moan aloud again. I am no longer bothered about his impression of me. He can think what he likes. I no longer care.

"Wait", he urges. "You're going back to sleep? Just like that?"

"What else would I do?"

He throws out his arms in exasperation. It is obvious that he is frustrated. I don't blame him. It must seem to him like he is talking to a live corpse rather than an actual human being.

"I don't know", he says. "Don't you want answers?"

"Why would you have them?"

He shoots me a disapproving look. I know I am going out of my way to be rude, but there really is nothing that I can do to enlighten my mood. I am not exactly a delight to be around anyway. Instead of ignoring me like I first predicted, the kind of act a normal person would play out, Amar answers my question.

"Unlike you-", he rolls his eyes. "I have been sociable."

Silence in the room. Of course, he is always the first to break it.

"Rumours spread…"

Eventually I give in, still not quite sure whether the words that he is about to form are the ones that I want to hear, nor would they be any good for me. I doubted that anything could be considered 'healthy' for my system or brain anymore. In addition, had the memory serum not been spread, I would still be considered as 'Genetically Damaged'.

"Fine. Just tell me".

He shrugs. "You sure?"

I give him another straightforward answer, my voice hoarse and lifeless, much like everything else.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

He scratches his forehead, creases forming in the skin, showing signs of deep thought and concentration. I am surprised at how hard he has to wrack his brain for the words that he now needs to find.

He is trying to avoid most of the sore spots in the topic, although that is impossible. Everything that he is going to say is going to strike a nerve. It is going to be unbearable- I may even have to plug my ears.

"We know she's dead. There was a lot of blood- So much that she couldn't have possibly survived…"

I motion for him to continue with my right hand, waving him a long from where he trailed off.

Something is wrong… Something is not right…

"Strange thing is that we never actually found a body".

My muscles freeze in place, refusing to move as the uncalled for hits me like a slap in the face.

Never actually found a body… but blood… so much blood…

He halts automatically as the shudders approach again, my face flinching repetitive like a tape being re-winded over and over.

"Did I pass out?" I ask abruptly, not really concerned about the answer. I am just mildly curious.

Amar pats my knee. "Sure did".

No emotions occur- No embarrassment, no fear, and strangely enough, no more pain.

Just emptiness. Pure emptiness.

The world is now… nothing.

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