[NOTE FROM EDITOR FRANK KNIVES: This section rated unofficially M for vulgar language, just as a precaution.]

Fairy Kyuubi Productions proudly presents:

A Roast of EvilFuzzy9's 20 Earliest Fanfics

Part the Second:

Another Day

A story about nothing in particular. bit o' innuendo. NaruHina' random.

Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,114 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 6/26/2006 - Published: 6/26/2006 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete

Feanor: ...Why was I chosen to review this?

Asuka: Hell if I know. You look like an asshole.

Feanor: And you look like a scarcely blossomed mortal trollop.

Asuka: *immediately jumps up and tries to strangle Feanor*

EF9:Okay here is a new story. Thanks to those who reviewed on Parrotboy, you make me feel all (coughevilcough) fuzzy.

Feanor: ...I feel this be an ominous sign as to the manner of prose we may expect to find within.

Asuka: Ugh. What a lame pun.

Disclaimer: I own Naruto as much as I own Masashi Kishimoto

Drip drip drip. It was raining. Pat pat pat. He was running, running from something terrible. Something terrible, furious, and pink.

Asuka: *snorts* Pansy.

"NARUTO!" You would think he'd know better by now, but no, he just had to give in to temptation.

He just had to ask Sakura if she was a natural pinky.

Feanor: ...Natural... pinky...?

Not the best thing to say during target practice. Now he was dodging a barrage shuriken while his no-good 'sensei' was wasting his time teaching a disinterested Sasuke about the finer points of the opposite sex, whilst said opposite sex (including a ticked-off Tsunade and a furious DEIDARA!) was chasing a giddy Jiraiya and blushing Orochimaru for, well, it's rather obvious for heaven's sake.

Asuka: Wait, what?

Feanor: *wince*

Naruto slowed down as Sakura finally passed out from exhaustion. It was now lunchtime so everyone's favorite jinchuuriki (no not Gaara, Naruto) decided to go to lunch at Ichiraku.

Feanor: I do not understand. I do not know who either of those people are. Who is Gaara? Who is Naruto? What is Ichiraku? And what, praytell, is a jinchuuriki?

Asuka: ...you don't get out much, do you?

Feanor: I do not. Spending most all of your days chained away in the darkest depths of the impregnable fortress of Mandos does somewhat make it difficult to get one's hands on a copy of Shonen Jump.

Asuka (disbelieving): ...You read Jump?

Feanor: Not since Dragonball ended.

Now today was the birthday of one Hyuuga Hinata, who was being presented with the house specialty (a bowl of ramen with candles in it. Neji: Isn't that a fire haza-. he is then silenced by Ayame. Hiashi: Finally.) When everyone is settled down they find that Hinata has blown out the candles.

Asuka (sarcastically): Wow. What compelling pacing.

"So daughter-chan, did you make a wish?" inquired Hiashi.

"Y-yes f-fa-father," she replied.

Feanor: Grow a backbone, child! Cease your whimpering and your stuttering!

Asuka: *inches away from Feanor*

"What did you wish?" asked Ten-ten.

"Don't be ridiculous, she OBVIOUSLY wished she was as strong as me!" retorted Hanabi , as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Asuka: I'm sorry. Who are you?

Feanor (sarcastically): Clearly an individual of great power and respect.

Asuka: *blink* Did... did you just make a joke?

Feanor (sarcastic, again): Noooo, perish the thought.

"While that would be a smart wish, she no doubt wished to have silky, manageable hair such as mine," said the arrogant-like-there-is-no-tomorrow Neji.

"Manageable, HA, you have to brush it 1,000 times a day," guffawed Kiba, who, somehow had managed to get ramen everywhere, including the seat of his pants. Don't ask me how, he just did.

"fhgfcbv,hlkhlghhfrherttksnifkhsiul,"

Feanor: ...what?

said Shino, but Kurenai, Kiba, and Mr. Aburame knew what it meant, it was Kikai for: "She clearly wished for me to lay her, which I will gladly do."

Asuka (hissing): What?

Kurenai stood there with her jaw agape, Kiba (again, I don't know how he knew Kikai, he just did) wolf-whistled, Mr.A. dragged Shino home for a tedious, psychologically scarring lecture on 'the birds and the bees'(that would consist mostly of long awkward pauses), and the others just ignored them as per status quo.

Feanor: So... this accomplishes nothing?

Asuka: That's pretty much fanfiction in a nutshell.

"Yosh! She clearly wished for the courage to make the most of her springtime of youth!"

"OH LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!" and they hugged in front of a sun-set, even though it's only noon.

Feanor (staring blankly): ... ... ...what?

Asuka: *drooling a little* Me-yoww. The older one actually doesn't look half bad...

Feanor: ... *inches away from Asuka*

Right then I decided to invoke my mighty author powers (closest I'll ever get to omnipotence) and teleported to the fan-fiction

Asuka: Wait.

allowing my body to adapt to this new environment

Feanor: Wait.

changing to reflect the power I have in their universe

Asuka: No. NO FUCKING WAY.

so I resembled a brown Kyuubi with brown eyes.

Feanor: What in the name of...?

I then invoked the ultimate power passed on to me by my French heritage.

Asuka: Gott in himmel, ANYTHING but this. Christ, no! Not a fucking self-insert! NO!

I glared, a glare with so much contempt and haughtiness that several angels attempted to commit suicide, 'cept they remembered that they're immortal and can't.

Feanor: What. WHAT. I... I do not even. I cannot. This is... just, what?

So they settled for pounding Lee and Gai to a pulp. Satisfied that the morons were silenced I poofed away, content to resume my story.

Asuka: Motherfucking fuck! Jesus H. Christ! Mary mother of Joseph! Shit-pissing cock-mongers!

Feanor (traumatized): Truly, I have seen the face of madness. All is for naught. We exist upon the precipice of chaos in a cold, unfeeling Universe. No just Creator could ever allow this.

Asuka: Wait, wasn't your dad killed by a god?

Feanor: All sanity is an illusion. Reality is but a delusion.

Asuka: *sigh* Why do I always get stuck with the wackjobs?

"Uuuh, yeah. Well I think Hinata wished for a boyfriend, am I right?" said a winking-like-she-had-pink-eye Ino.

Feanor: Is no one going to comment on... whatever that WAS that just happened...?

Asuka: Probably not.

Feanor: ...

"W-we-well y-yeah s-so-sorta." Said Hinata. Just then, in a hurry to get ramen, one Uzumaki Naruto tripped and landed face-first in Hinata's lap.

Asuka: *twitch*

But oblivious as ever Naruto just sat up and got out his wallet only to find… "NNOOOO! sniff Gama-chan is dead!" a chibified Naruto sat there looking at his pitifully empty frog purse. Hinata was heart-broken she had to comfort him. So she said the first thing that came into her pretty little stalker head.

"Naruto if you want we could share my ramen," she was no longer stammering and had a mischievious smirk.

Asuka (sarcastically): Well THAT certainly isn't out of character. No, not at all!

"Sure okay," said Naruto. So they began slurping up noodles until suddenly… in a clichéd 'The Lady and The Tramp' moment they kissed, I shouldn't have to say how it happened, as for what it was like, well use your imagination you dirty little pervert.

However as you may have guessed Neji and Hiashi were furious that Naruto would 'dare take advantage of an innocent girl' and Hanabi was jealous that Hinata had kissed Naruto first (yes they both wanted him, Hanabi just never had enough screen-time to show it.

So the three of them gentle-fisted Naruto to Timbuktu.

Feanor: ...Where?

Asuka: *shrug*

TEN YEARS LATER IN TIMBUKTU

Emperor Naruto was ecstatic, he had finally completed the time-space conciousness injector.

Asuka: ...I don't even know where to begin saying WHAT on this one.

Feanor: I think I started saying it somewhere around "Drip", and just never stopped.

Asuka: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Why was he working on one and since when was he an emperor? Well when he landed in Timbuktu he landed on their tyrannical dictator squishing him.

So the natives proclaimed him a god, but he was like 'no' and they were like 'oh'. So then they proclaimed him emperor, and he was like 'okay'.

Asuka: ...okay, that bit was actually kind of witty. Just a little.

Feanor: Now if only it were located in a less terrible story.

At first he was going to just return to Konoha, but it turned that Hinata got mad and blew everything up, and then he was sad, so he vowed to go back in time and prevent this grave error. It was a lucky thing that Timbuktu was the time travel capital of the world.

Asuka: No, I'm pretty sure it isn't.

Feanor: Is it even a real place?

Asuka: *shrugs* How the fuck should I know?

So here he is and he pressed a big flashing button and he poofed away.

TEN YEARS AGO KONOHA

Asuka: Still a crappy transition.

There was an unseen flash and future-Naruto's mind was temporarily fused with Naruto, then the whole kiss thing happened, so future-Naruto told Naruto to duck and he did. Then Future-Naruto told Naruto to take Hinata now.

So Naruto pulled her an embrace, and of course the others had to ruin the moment by asking what Hinata wished for.

Feanor: ...? Didn't they assault him physically before, when he kissed her? Why are they being so nonchalant now?

Asuka: What, you actually looking for continuity in this crap?

Feanor: Ah, yes. My mistake.

"This," she said.

"I'm glad I'm with you, Hinata-chan," Naruto said. "You're nice and sweet; nothing like that witch Sakura."

"NARUTO!"

Asuka: What do you bet that's Sakura, right now?

"Crud."

Drip, drip, drip. It was raining. Pat, pat, pat. He was running, running from something terrible. Something terrible, furious, and pink.

Feanor: Looks like it's her.

Asuka: Called it.

"NARUTO!" You would think he would know better by now, but no, he just had to give in to temptation.

Yup, just another day in that madhouse, Konoha.

Hope you like, please review!

Asuka: I do not like.

Feanor: And I have no desire to view THAT again.

Asuka: *sighs in relief* At least it's over, though.

Feanor: For us, maybe.

A/N: Editor Frank Knives. XD

Updated: 1-27-14

TTFN and R&R!

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