Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.
A/N: This is a very quick update! I've been feeling very light hearted and silly, (a nice change of pace from my super angsty fics) so you get this lol. To my one reviewer, there will be some SasuSaku in this; but there will also be NaruSaku and KakaSaku. Unfortunately, there won't be any NaruSasu.
How the story ends, you'll have to wait and see! Thank you guys for reviewing!
Bitch, I'm GROWN.
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If Sakura didn't know any better, she'd guess that her mentor was setting her up. But the fact is that she does know better and Tsunade is definitely setting her up. What for, she doesn't know, but judging by the way five grown ass men shuffle out of the Hokage building with varying expressions of childish dismay on their faces and snot-nosed sniffles, it can't be good.
Genma, a jonin Sakura vaguely remembers as Kakashi's best friend and Ino-pig's latest conquest, pats her former sensei on the shoulder consolingly as he passes by and Sakura watches with a raised brow as the other men do the same. It reminds her of the time after the war when the Rookies—one by one—offered Naruto their condolences after he found Ichiraku in shambles, and Sakura is slightly offended.
They make it seem like Kakashi being assigned to a mission with her is an awful thing when she knows that it isn't. Her long buried and unfounded inferiority complex rears its ugly head at the sight, but Sakura mentally punts it back to the pits of Hell where Kaguya and Madara are probably engaging in mid-morning tea.
Sakura is a far cry away from that useless, naïve little girl she used to be; and she has recently been informally declared the strongest kunoichi in the village—aside from Tsunade, of course. That woman could be old and senile and still be able to give Sakura a run for her money. Therefore, Sakura knows as well as she knows that Naruto has an addiction to MSG that she's one of the best partners to have on a mission.
More glaringly than those obvious facts is that Sakura isn't stupid; she knows damned well what mission Tsunade had just assigned the two of them to, but she really can't figure out why the man acts like he can't decide between falling to his knees in joy or misery.
A little voice in the back of her head suggests that maybe it's because Kakashi would feel obligated to behave professionally if she were around, and therefore wouldn't be able to enjoy the mission in all of its X-rated glory, but Sakura scoffs at the thought and stomps it beneath her size six heels. The man has been reading porn in front of her and pretty much the entire village since she was 12—Kakashi is the epitome of shameless.
But they've been standing in front of the Hokage tower for a few minutes now—she awkwardly shuffling her feet and Kakashi's nose still buried in his book—with shinobi and civilian alike sending them curious glances. Sighing, Sakura takes purposeful steps towards Training Ground Three where Team 7—and then Team Kakashi—has been meeting since they were Genin.
Kakashi, needing no prompting, follows leisurely behind her as they transition from the hustling and bustling of the morning rush to the well beaten path that leads to the training ground. In the distance, Sakura can hear Naruto and Sasuke taunting each other as they spar. Naruto's insults and Sasuke's scathing replies get louder as they get nearer and a fond smile curls her lips.
Sakura was technically supposed to be organizing paperwork in the hospital and the archives in the Hokage tower, and then developing ground breaking psychological treatment plans for the entire day. But instead she finds herself crossing the threshold from the forest to the open training grounds instead of doing all of that. She doesn't particularly like doing paperwork, but she's not adverse to it, and she genuinely enjoys doing everything else.
"You cheated, bastard!"
"I have one arm, idiot, you had the advantage. I didn't cheat."
As Naruto sputters on about how Sasuke definitely cheated because he has wizard eyes that can see more than a magic cue ball, to which Sasuke replies that Naruto has no right to complain because he's best friends with an epic fur ball, Sakura finds herself secretly agreeing with Ino's observation that Sasuke is the sassy gay friend.
Except, Sasuke isn't gay. At least, Sakura doesn't think so…but then again, the air between the two men on her team has been sexually charged since, like, forever. Putting away the tantalizing images of Naruto and Sasuke engaging in acts she'd later fantasize about on lonely nights, Sakura calmly strides towards them as Kakashi follows.
Naruto instantly forgets about whatever it was that made him so irate and sweeps her into his arms with a flourish and an exclamation of the usual, "Sakura-chan!"
Sasuke nods at her and Sakura, because Sasuke—however gay he might be—is still incredibly attractive with his short hair tied up lazily, can't help but track the trail a bead of sweat carves down his well-muscled chest. Naruto's also very sweaty and she feels his corded arms tighten around her slim waist as he hugs her tighter to the point where she feels every dip and divot of his body through her thin shirt.
Sakura suddenly feels awkward because her boys have become men, and hot men at that.
"Put me down, Naruto," she huffs and clocks him gently on the head, "Kakashi and I have a mission."
Sasuke instantly straightens up, because nothing whets his appetite more than hearing about a mission, but then subtly deflates when it registers that it doesn't include him. The others don't notice his disappointment, but Sakura is educated on all things Sasuke so she does. It saddens her a bit, because it means that Sasuke still doesn't like feeling tethered to the village and his wanderlust hasn't been sated.
"Where are you guys going?" Sasuke asks her and Sakura gives him a look, one that Naruto quickly deciphers before he guffaws.
"No way!" He wheezes in between full bellied laughs, "You two are going on that mission?"
And then his laughter dissolves quickly as it finally registers in his brain that if Kakashi and Sakura are going on that mission, it means that he's not going.
"Aw, man!" Naruto pouts, crossing his arms over his broad chest, "No fair! You guys are so lucky!"
Sakura doesn't think she's lucky at all; porn is something to be enjoyed privately and without spectators, but a mission is a mission. Her thoughts show on her face, apparently, because Naruto starts chuckling again at her expense. Kakashi has remained mostly silent, with no desire to make an opinion on anything regarding their mission.
"What mission?" Sasuke asks and he sounds so unamused and annoyed that Sakura's realizes with a start that Sasuke doesn't know about the mission because he doesn't have a blonde harpy screeching gossip in his ear about these sorts of trivial things.
He might have Naruto to talk his ear off with his infamous Talk no jutsu, but he's less of a harpy and more of a hyena, and everyone knows that Sasuke tunes Naruto out about ninety-five percent of the time.
"Seriously, teme, you need to listen better," Naruto admonishes and Sasuke twitches imperceptibly, "But they're going to escort the main star of the newest Icha Icha movie, and then attend the premier!"
Sasuke scoffs, "That's it?"
"That's it?!" Naruto repeats with a gasp and Sakura is, once again, reminded that as grown as he may be, he's still a pervert, "They get to watch the scenes as they're being made and everything! Oh, ho, ho~, if Jiraiya were here today—"
All eyes suddenly cut to her, and Sakura raises a brow, "What."
Naruto places his hands on his hips, all excited jealousy about the mission buried as he levels narrowed eyes on her, "You do know that you have to stand guard over the actors as they film, right?"
"Yes, I know that." No, she didn't know that because her stupid mission leader hasn't said one word to her!
"And you're okay with that?"
Kakashi's cool voice filters in between them and Sakura glances at him sharply. She hadn't noticed that he came to stand next to her.
"Yes," Sakura says slowly and slightly confused, "I am."
All three men of her team look at her with new eyes, as if they've never seen her before or like she's attached a neon sign to her forehead saying: Look at me, I'm grown as hell.
Ino's voice filters through her bemused brain, reminding her of a conversation they had a few years ago.
"I'm telling you, Forehead, Shikamaru and Chouji thought I was a virgin until I blatantly told them I wasn't. Could you believe that?! They really thought that I was waiting on Sasuke! As if!"
Sakura remembers choking on some sushi rice that had gone down the wrong pipe because really? The day Ino held out for some runaway piece of ass in a village full of even nicer asses was the day Sakura quit as a medical ninja.
As in, unlikely.
"And, get this, they thought they couldn't talk about sex around me because they thought I couldn't handle it! Ha! I'm twenty! Who do they think I am: Hinata?!"
And then, all of a sudden, it dawns on her. So that's why Kakashi was acting weird about the mission! And that's why Naruto and Sasuke are looking at her so strangely.
Oh, how precious. Who do they think she is? Hinata?!
"Sakura," Kakashi starts, his book lowered and his intense grey eyes regarding her, well, intensely, "Are you sure you can handle this mission? I understand if it makes you uncomfortable."
And Sakura can only sigh exasperatedly because they don't know any better and it's not like she talks to them about her sex life—that honor is solely reserved for Ino and Tsunade.
"Guys," she huffs gently, her arms crossing over her modest chest as she shakes her head, "I'm twenty-three."
When she sees the unspoken so? in their eyes, Sakura elaborates, "Do you really think I'd hold out for this long? I mean, really?"
Sasuke's mismatched eyes widen and his jaw goes slightly slack, as do Kakashi's, but it takes Naruto a few moments to understand and when he does, he just about has an aneurism.
Hands flying to pull at his hair, Naruto screeches, "What?! Sakura-chan!" Then he lowers his voice when he sees a tick forming in her brow, "You mean you've—"
Sakura cuts him off, "Yes, I've had sex before; so, no, the mission doesn't bother me because sex is natural."
Poor Naruto looks dismayed at the fact, as if someone has just crushed his hopes and dreams, and Sakura has a miserable, terrifying thought that if Naruto has been waiting for her, then that someone is her.
"B-but," Naruto sputters, oceanic eyes darting between her and Sasuke, "I thought you were waiting for this bastard."
He jerks his head in Sasuke's direction and Sakura outright laughs because, wow, they're so precious. Sakura, though she can admit that Sasuke is quite beautiful and handsome and everything she could aesthetically want, has outgrown her parasitic love for the man years ago. She still loves him, but not enough to lose herself like she once did.
Sasuke glares at her as she laughs and somehow it makes everything even funnier.
"Oh please, Naruto, let's be realistic." Then Sakura turns to Sasuke, "I love you Sasuke, I really do, but I wasn't going to be celibate while you got your shit together."
And because she loves to make Sasuke—and Naruto—squirm, she waggles her fingers with a devious smirk and says, "My hands can only do so much."
Kakashi sounds like he's choking, Naruto starts bleeding slightly from his nose, and a healthy blush crawls up Sasuke's neck to his face. It only makes her laugh so much more, because they really thought she was holding out for the last Uchiha!
Admittedly, she waited for him until she was 17, but she was a teenager with hormones and things just happen when those pesky little things get involved. There's an awkward pause as everyone regains their bearings after Sakura pretty much tells them she has a secret sex life and she just, well, waits.
Naruto recovers first and growls, "Who was he?"
"Who were they." Sakura corrects and her boys dissolve into sputters and silence once more.
Honestly, with the way they're acting, Sakura would be inclined to believe that they were virgins themselves. But, unlike them, Sakura is a woman and women gossip and she knows that the men of Team 7 have their own conquests.
And besides, it's not like she's slept with like, the whole village, or something. She's had three sexual partners in her lifetime and each had lasted for quite a while. Rolling her eyes, Sakura turns to her mission leader.
"So, Kakashi," Sakura says, immediately noticing that Kakashi seems lighter somehow, "What are the mission details?"
"Well," Kakashi drawls, "We'll rendezvous at the gate in five days at 0400…"
As she listens and takes mental notes on the mission's details, pocketing her own scroll that he just gives her in the process, Sakura notices that all reservations about her going have all but disappeared. It was like he didn't want her going because he thought she was a virgin. It was chauvinistic and also kind of cute.
Kakashi departs with a lazy wave in a poof of smoke, and when Sakura turns around to address the rest of Team 7 she finds that neither Sasuke or Naruto can look her in the eyes.
"Oh, c'mon, guys!" Sakura huffs, very amused and slightly put out, "Were you really so surprised?"
"Uh, yeah!"
"Tch."
Naruto seems more agitated than Sasuke, though the raven haired man is obviously pouting, and Sakura takes the diplomatic approach.
"Why are you two so surprised?" She asks, already knowing the answer and her eyebrow starts to twitch, "I'm a grown ass woman."
However, she is surprised when both Naruto and Sasuke level her with weighty stares and say, "You're Sakura and they don't deserve you."
And it's so sweet, because really, all they want is the best for her; and despite everything that's happened, they do love her and she loves them sososo much and Naruto is speaking and sometimes he can be so sweet—
"Besides, if you're as scary as you are in a fight, I can't even imagine what you're like in bed…Actually, wait, I can."
"NARUTOOOOOO!"
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tbc