Three Bloody Mary's and a Double Scotch on the Rocks
The Sequel
Disclaimer: Um. I really wanted to do a classy, rude disclaimer, but I can't think of one- SO just PRETEND I have. By the way, in case you didn't know, I don't own this.
Author's Note: Back by popular demand (two reviews actually, but you've got to start somewhere!) is The Cat Who Lived! You can applaud NOW. By the way- My friend Nile Queen was scandalised when she heard I'd put this on the net (she was Harry) and begged me to remove it. Luckily she doesn't read ff otherwise I'd REALLY be in trouble! So I want lots of purrs.
Harry stared at himself in the mirror. He was stunned, no, he wasn't, HE WAS A CAT! Green feline eyes stared back at him. Suddenly he was yanked upwards. Gloved hands hoisted him roughly into the folds of a silky cloak.
"I had no idea our Lord liked cats," said the voice of the man who'd picked Harry up. Tendrils of blond hair hit Harry in the face. He reached out to catch them. "Who's an adorable little pussy?"
Harry found himself face to face with the notorious Lucius Malfoy. Lucius reached for the jewelled cat collar. "Harry?" Lucius mumbled, "I see My Lord is developing a sense of humour. Come Draco!"
Harry climbed up onto Mr. Malfoy's shoulder. A much smaller figure in Death Eater robes was staring at him. Harry stuck out his tongue and hissed at him. Draco retaliated by giving the white Persian a very rude gesture with his fingers, unfortunately Lucius turned round at the very moment.
"Draco! What do you mean by the obscene gesture? *Never* do that again!"
"Yes, Father," came a meek voice from under the hood.
Draco was scared. This was his first meeting, his initiation night. That angry fleabag didn't help. Draco wasn't even sure he wanted to be a Death Eater; there were plenty of other things for a boy to do rather than serve a psychopathic Dark Lord. The other thing bothering Draco was. *were the initiation rumours true?*
Just then, there was a swishing of cloaks, and a piecing scream. Harry jumped to the ground in fright. "Rookwood, you complete bastard! You always apparate on my foot!
"Shut up, Jugson!"
"Well you do!"
"Do what?" said a high, cold voice. Everyone in the room snapped to attention and bowed. Harry tried to make his way through the crowd of Death Eaters and out the door. But a white cat in a black room does not tend to camouflage.
Harry came face to face with a hungry Nagini. "Ssoo, what you've got to assk yoursself iss-am I feeling lucky?"
"Accio cat!" With a howl, Harry flew backwards and hit the Dark Lord hard in the chest, completely bowling the immortal Lord Voldemort over.
"Sorry, My Lord, you were standing in the way," said the rather embarrassed voice of Lucius Malfoy. Muffled laughter flew once round the room before turning into a coughing epidemic. Voldemort stood up, snatching Harry up into his arms. "Do you find something amusing?" The tone of the Dark Lords voice was like a whip, lashing down on his slaves.
Someone sneezed. Voldemort whipped round to face the unfortunate Death Eater. "You. Snape. find this funny?" Voldemort hissed. The Potions Master mumbled something about an allergy.
"Now, my servants, tonight we welcome another into our fold," The Dark Lord said, seating himself on a silver throne "Fresh from Hogwarts (sneeze) Draco Malfoy." Lucius pushed his son forward. Draco stared at the floor. He shivered. Harry suddenly felt sorry for Draco. He tried to break free from Voldemort, but the Dark Lord had a grip of iron.
The meeting progressed slowly. Snape was horrified with himself. Stupid cat! Voldemort *knew* he was allergic to them. ". To defeat Dumbledore." The Dark Lord was informing his servants of his plan when.Snape sneezed again. Voldemort stood up. "If you cannot control yourself Snape, I will *discipline* you."
Snape closed his eyes, waiting for the ominous "Crucio!" but it didn't happen, mainly because Harry had just scratched Voldemort across the face. "Ahhhrgss!" Voldemort shrieked. Strangely, no one in the room seemed at all concerned for their Master. Draco perked up, Lucius smiled quietly, and Snape felt like giving the cat the House Cup. "This meeting is over!" Voldemort thundered. With the elegant statement, the Dark Lord stormed out the door. One Bellatrix Lestrage quietly followed him, after making sure her husband wasn't looking of course.
Once their Immortal Lord was out of the room, all the Death Eaters relaxed. Most of them felt like giving that moggy a big fish.
Meanwhile, in Voldemort's chambers, the Dark Lord was preparing to have a hot bath. Unfortunately, Harry's paws wouldn't reach the bathroom door knob. The Dark Lord took his cloak off. Harry started to panic. Of course, technically he'd seen Voldemort naked before, but that time there had been smoke coming out of the cauldron, so he hadn't seen much, but imagination is a marvellous thing.
Voldemort started removing his robes. Harry closed his eyes. He heard a splash. opened one eye. The Dark Lord's slimy, white torso was sinking into the water. Harry meowed a sigh of relief.
Harry jumped up onto the bathroom chair, preparing to go to sleep. Suddenly a piece of foam hit Harry in the face. A cold, high-pitched titter issued from the bath. For the next ten minutes Harry was forced to endure soap bubbles, 'Mrs. Peachpear's Scale Softener,' and a rubber ducky. Harry was scarred for life, Voldemort was truly insane.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. "My Lord," Harry heard a woman's sing-song voice. "May I come in, you sexy serpent!" Harry felt like vomiting. The handle turned. Harry's paws didn't want to work. His bones changed.
Bellatrix screamed. There was a naked Harry Potter in the room! Voldemort stood up. Harry screamed. Then he pushed Bellatrix into the Dark Lord, sending them both sprawling into the bath.
Harry ran for the door as fast as he could.
Draco was still nervous- he'd been told to wait outside His Master's rooms for his. *initiation.*
Harry opened the door, preparing to leg it down the hallway. Then a rather surprised voice said to The Boy Who Was Starkers, "So. err you too, huh?"
The Sequel
Disclaimer: Um. I really wanted to do a classy, rude disclaimer, but I can't think of one- SO just PRETEND I have. By the way, in case you didn't know, I don't own this.
Author's Note: Back by popular demand (two reviews actually, but you've got to start somewhere!) is The Cat Who Lived! You can applaud NOW. By the way- My friend Nile Queen was scandalised when she heard I'd put this on the net (she was Harry) and begged me to remove it. Luckily she doesn't read ff otherwise I'd REALLY be in trouble! So I want lots of purrs.
Harry stared at himself in the mirror. He was stunned, no, he wasn't, HE WAS A CAT! Green feline eyes stared back at him. Suddenly he was yanked upwards. Gloved hands hoisted him roughly into the folds of a silky cloak.
"I had no idea our Lord liked cats," said the voice of the man who'd picked Harry up. Tendrils of blond hair hit Harry in the face. He reached out to catch them. "Who's an adorable little pussy?"
Harry found himself face to face with the notorious Lucius Malfoy. Lucius reached for the jewelled cat collar. "Harry?" Lucius mumbled, "I see My Lord is developing a sense of humour. Come Draco!"
Harry climbed up onto Mr. Malfoy's shoulder. A much smaller figure in Death Eater robes was staring at him. Harry stuck out his tongue and hissed at him. Draco retaliated by giving the white Persian a very rude gesture with his fingers, unfortunately Lucius turned round at the very moment.
"Draco! What do you mean by the obscene gesture? *Never* do that again!"
"Yes, Father," came a meek voice from under the hood.
Draco was scared. This was his first meeting, his initiation night. That angry fleabag didn't help. Draco wasn't even sure he wanted to be a Death Eater; there were plenty of other things for a boy to do rather than serve a psychopathic Dark Lord. The other thing bothering Draco was. *were the initiation rumours true?*
Just then, there was a swishing of cloaks, and a piecing scream. Harry jumped to the ground in fright. "Rookwood, you complete bastard! You always apparate on my foot!
"Shut up, Jugson!"
"Well you do!"
"Do what?" said a high, cold voice. Everyone in the room snapped to attention and bowed. Harry tried to make his way through the crowd of Death Eaters and out the door. But a white cat in a black room does not tend to camouflage.
Harry came face to face with a hungry Nagini. "Ssoo, what you've got to assk yoursself iss-am I feeling lucky?"
"Accio cat!" With a howl, Harry flew backwards and hit the Dark Lord hard in the chest, completely bowling the immortal Lord Voldemort over.
"Sorry, My Lord, you were standing in the way," said the rather embarrassed voice of Lucius Malfoy. Muffled laughter flew once round the room before turning into a coughing epidemic. Voldemort stood up, snatching Harry up into his arms. "Do you find something amusing?" The tone of the Dark Lords voice was like a whip, lashing down on his slaves.
Someone sneezed. Voldemort whipped round to face the unfortunate Death Eater. "You. Snape. find this funny?" Voldemort hissed. The Potions Master mumbled something about an allergy.
"Now, my servants, tonight we welcome another into our fold," The Dark Lord said, seating himself on a silver throne "Fresh from Hogwarts (sneeze) Draco Malfoy." Lucius pushed his son forward. Draco stared at the floor. He shivered. Harry suddenly felt sorry for Draco. He tried to break free from Voldemort, but the Dark Lord had a grip of iron.
The meeting progressed slowly. Snape was horrified with himself. Stupid cat! Voldemort *knew* he was allergic to them. ". To defeat Dumbledore." The Dark Lord was informing his servants of his plan when.Snape sneezed again. Voldemort stood up. "If you cannot control yourself Snape, I will *discipline* you."
Snape closed his eyes, waiting for the ominous "Crucio!" but it didn't happen, mainly because Harry had just scratched Voldemort across the face. "Ahhhrgss!" Voldemort shrieked. Strangely, no one in the room seemed at all concerned for their Master. Draco perked up, Lucius smiled quietly, and Snape felt like giving the cat the House Cup. "This meeting is over!" Voldemort thundered. With the elegant statement, the Dark Lord stormed out the door. One Bellatrix Lestrage quietly followed him, after making sure her husband wasn't looking of course.
Once their Immortal Lord was out of the room, all the Death Eaters relaxed. Most of them felt like giving that moggy a big fish.
Meanwhile, in Voldemort's chambers, the Dark Lord was preparing to have a hot bath. Unfortunately, Harry's paws wouldn't reach the bathroom door knob. The Dark Lord took his cloak off. Harry started to panic. Of course, technically he'd seen Voldemort naked before, but that time there had been smoke coming out of the cauldron, so he hadn't seen much, but imagination is a marvellous thing.
Voldemort started removing his robes. Harry closed his eyes. He heard a splash. opened one eye. The Dark Lord's slimy, white torso was sinking into the water. Harry meowed a sigh of relief.
Harry jumped up onto the bathroom chair, preparing to go to sleep. Suddenly a piece of foam hit Harry in the face. A cold, high-pitched titter issued from the bath. For the next ten minutes Harry was forced to endure soap bubbles, 'Mrs. Peachpear's Scale Softener,' and a rubber ducky. Harry was scarred for life, Voldemort was truly insane.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. "My Lord," Harry heard a woman's sing-song voice. "May I come in, you sexy serpent!" Harry felt like vomiting. The handle turned. Harry's paws didn't want to work. His bones changed.
Bellatrix screamed. There was a naked Harry Potter in the room! Voldemort stood up. Harry screamed. Then he pushed Bellatrix into the Dark Lord, sending them both sprawling into the bath.
Harry ran for the door as fast as he could.
Draco was still nervous- he'd been told to wait outside His Master's rooms for his. *initiation.*
Harry opened the door, preparing to leg it down the hallway. Then a rather surprised voice said to The Boy Who Was Starkers, "So. err you too, huh?"