Ok, I know I said I'd be going back to the present point at the start of this chapter... But this story is becoming ridiculously longer than I'd planned! So.. It could be a while! Sorry!
I'm warning you guys now - prepare for a short rant! Feel free to skip. But anyone who feels the same, don't be afraid to PM me! None of my friends watch this show, so I need to rant to people who appreciate the show and characters!
I was re-watching the last few episodes of AoT for this story, and it's truly the most heartbreaking show ever!
I was balling crying (Everytime!) and so emotional.
The whole camaraderie between Team Levi is so awe inspiring, they are so amazing then - bam! Gone!
Poor Levi literally has the closet thing he has to a family ripped away from him and he want even there to help them (not his fault at all obviously)! The feeling of helplessness and loneliness that must hit him.. Poor man, he doesn't even get the satisfaction of getting justice/revenge, whichever you want to call it in this case!
Then, in the final episodes, he doesn't even know of the attack until it's planned out and Erwin won't let him fight, possibly because of emotional trauma he ensued... Ugh really leaves me depressed! But I love it so much..
I'm hoping they bring back at least Petra, either in flash backs or in real life (I know most of you are groaning now going, oh please, get over it! But I can't! :'( )
Last thing, imagine if Team Levi had been successful in taking Annie out in the clearing? Imagine how proud Levi would have been and how much the Special Ops Squad would have been appreciated?
Ugh, a girl can dream ( hence my user name! :P )
Anyway, so sorry, probably scared half you guys away but I had to get it out or I'd explode! Other die hard fans will hopefully understand or at least pretend!
...
Please enjoy and I'll try refrain from ranting in future... :/
Sorry again! Officially shutting up!
Chapter Two
The sun was setting as they returned to the Wall, the atmosphere tense and heavy. It hadn't been an easy journey back.
Some soldiers had taken it upon themselves to retrieve their friends body from a Titan infested area, despite being ordered not to. This resulted in them being chased down by several of the towering nightmares.
Thankfully, the blonde titan made no appearance.
After having to release some of the bodies to lighten the load, an impossible but necessary act, the remainder of the 57th expedition had returned, with only a fraction of the soldiers who had left.
On Levi's insistence, the remainder of his team were taken through a different route in through the city on entering the gates, keeping a low profile.
They weren't sure why he suddenly felt the need to keep them secret, but agreed he had his reasons.
Levi waved off Mikasa's insistence that he get his leg checked out after his encounter in the forest, warning her to keep it to herself.
The only thing he was concerned with was getting his team looked after and finding out form Erwin what the hell was going to happen now.
Petra's body was so weak when they reached the hospital, she could barely stand. Aurou had to help her out the carriage and through the building. Eld was carted off, needing immediate care.
She and Aurou were then tended to, the staff distracted and uptight, bracing themselves for the onslaught of patients that weren't far behind them.
Aurou had shattered his left wrist in several places and pulled muscles in his back.
Petra had cracked two ribs and nicked her right lung, the laceration on her back and cut on her forehead needing nearly a dozen stitches.
She was put on antibiotics for her punctured lungs and told they would have to keep an eye to make sure it healed on its own.
The nurses treated all their cuts, scratches and bruises, gave them pain killers and sent them to rest in a small room with two beds, where they were told to stay put.
When they argued they needed to go, they were told they were under Captain Levi's orders.
So, they went and waited in their assigned room.
It was comfy, the beds opposite each other with lots of pillows, plants and an armchair decorating the room. The golden pink sunset pooled through the window, but neither soldier noticed nor cared about any of this.
Aurou paced restlessly, Petra sat stiff on the bed, too wired to sleep, but too sore and exhausted to stand.
After what felt like hours, a knock sounded on the door and a older, kind faced nurse entered, her smile thin and tired, but genuine non the less.
"How are you two feeling? Sorry, it's been so long since anyone's checked on you. As you can probably imagine, it's been mayhem out there. Can I get you anything?"
"We need to go check on our comrades. They were both unconscious upon return to the Wall," Petra informed her, desperate to go check on Eld and Eren.
The nurse pursed her lips, looking back and forth between the two soldiers.
"Well, the good Captain has ordered you stay put... But I can't imagine stretching your legs would do any harm," she faked a frown, a twinkle in her eyes as she checked her patient boards with their info on it.
After a minute of deliberation, she stood aside, holding the door open.
"You have half an hour to get food and do whatever else you need to do. I expect to see these beds occupied when I return," she stated, delicate eyebrows raised as she looked at the exiting soldiers.
Petra gave a heartfelt thanks as she went by and the woman smiled before strolling down the corridor towards the nurses station.
"Right, let's go find Eld," Aurou strode down the hall, his ego starting to return now they'd rested and were in less pain.
Well, physical pain, Petra corrected herself. Neither squad mate had allowed themselves to venture to thoughts of their fallen friend, knowing it would be their undoing.
"Um, Aurou, do you even know where you're going?" Petra called after him doubtfully, watching him glimpse through doors.
"Of course, Petra dear. Now don't worry yourself, leave this to me," he waved a hand over his shoulder dismissively at her.
Yup, he was definitely feeling better. That, or he was feigning normality to lighten the heavy darkness that taken residence in them.
She couldn't really blame him, if that was the case. She craved normality right now.
After several wrong turns and dead ends, Aurou gave in when she pointed out their half hour would be up, and Petra stopped to ask someone.
"Let's see... Eren Yeager's room isn't listed here... But Eld Jin... Next floor up, room 223," the nurse informed her, smiling sweetly at her friend.
"You know, there's something not right about them hiding a beauty like you away behind a desk," Aurou stated in his flourishing voice he used when he was trying to be clever or sound like Captain Levi.
"Thank you," Petra interrupted, smiled back and turned, dragging Aurou away from the pretty blonde.
"Seriously, after what we went through today, you can even attempt flirting?" She fumed, marching down the hallway as fast as her body would allow in its present state.
Never mind him teasing her, that was easing the tension, but this took it too far.
"Petra dear, no need to get jealous! If you want-" he was teasing her when she spun and interrupted him.
"No! Not now, not today Aurou. Please. I know you're trying to lighten the mood or whatever, but please, have respect. Not today."
Humiliated, she realised she was on the verge of tears. She scrubbed angrily at her eyes before collapsing onto a bench in the empty corridor.
"Petra... I'm sorry. I was only trying... Huh..." Aurou sighed in defeat and slunk onto the bench beside her. His face held genuine remorse, realising he had pushed too far.
"I'm sorry, Aurou. It just doesn't feel right to be joking like old times. Not with everything that's happened," she looked at him with an equally defeated expression.
They sat for a moment, the inevitable darkness covering them again, mocking them for believing they could be rid of it. It was part of them now.
"Ugh, sorry for bringing down the mood again. I just can't take any of this," she croaked, her shoulders slumped.
"It's alright. You're right, I don't even know why I did that. Guess neither of us are quite as used to this as we thought," he stated, getting to his feet and offering her his hand.
She hesitated before taking it, letting him help her to her feet.
In companionable silence, they made their way to Eld's room.
Their friend was lying in a bed surrounded by machines and tubes. He looked so slight and pale, a shade of the Eld they knew and loved. They went in and stood quietly, not knowing what to say or do.
Petra ended up talking to him, saying meaningless things, just anything to cover the haunting silence.
After a few minutes, they decided there was nothing they could do, nor say, that would help any of them. So, promising they'd be back first thing tomorrow, they headed back downstairs.
By the time they had gathered food and relived themselves, it was just over their half hour.
They snuck down the hall, peering down at the nurses station.
The nurse who'd let them out was doing paperwork, but on seeing them she gave a nod in acknowledgement before turning her back on them purposely.
With a grateful smile, Petra slipped into the room after Aurou and shut the door.
The next morning did not greet Petra cheerfully. She'd barely slept, with nightmares of titans and beasts chasing her, of Günter running, always out of reach or his eyes glazed and vacant when she finally did catch up to him.
By the early hours of the morning, she decided sleep was pointless and had laid awake for the rest of the night, only napping fitfully before sunrise.
That was why she was an exhausted, sweaty mess when a nurse, different from last night, had come in to do early morning rounds.
Taking pity on her, the nurse, who told her her name was Cleo, led her to the bathrooms and helped her shower, after answering her questions about her squad mates.
The hot spray chased away the cobwebs of the nightmares, leaving her outside, at least, feeling cleansed. She had to be careful to avoid the stitches in her back and forehead, but that was where Cleo came in.
By a more reasonable hour, she and Aurou were clean, dressed in clean clothes and fed, heading up to Eld's room.
"I wonder if he's awake," Petra wondered aloud. She knew it was wishful thinking, that they would have been told if he was, but she still dared to hope.
Her fears were confirmed when they found him the same way as yesterday.
Sighing, she went to sit in a chair by his left side, the sun warming her back.
Aurou stood at the end of the bed, his grim expression mirroring how she felt.
"I feel so useless... I wish there was something we could do," she ground out in frustration.
"Unless you've suddenly become a doctor, no. There's nothing you can do," Aurou raised an eyebrow at her.
She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him.
"I should have known I'd find you two here," a deep, rolling voice sounded from the door.
They turned to find Levi leaning, arms crossed, against the door frame.
"You two should be resting," he frowned, looking at them almost accusingly.
"Captain, we had to come see him. We were going stir crazy down there," Petra appealed to him.
He said nothing, just walked up to stand on the opposite side of Eld.
"What did the doctors say about his condition?" Aurou asked, the three of them surrounding their friend.
Levi sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.
"They don't think there's any internal bleeding. His legs rightly messed up, broken bones, torn ligaments. He won't be in any shape to fight for a long time," he stated coldly.
Petra stared at him, willing him to be joking.
"A long time as in... Months.. Or ever?" She asked, a pool of dread filling her stomach.
Levi merely looked at her the same way he had when she'd asked would he wake up.
"What about his head?"
"They've given him anti inflammatories for the swelling and are keeping him on the IV drip. As I told you yesterday, the rest is up to him."
Petra leant back in her chair, absently rubbing her ribs. There were some bumps and dips in them now, solid evidence they were broken when the pain was dulled by medication.
"Didn't they give you pain killers?" Levi frowned at her.
She nodded her head in affirmative, smiling sheepishly at him.
"Yes, Captain. Don't mind me. How's Eren?" She tried to change topic, not wanting his focus on her.
"The brat will be fine. Thanks to his weird ass powers, he'll probably heal pretty quickly," he waved her concern for the young boy off.
"Probably? As in he hasn't yet?" It was her turn to frown.
"What are you, his mother? Yes, he will be fine. He's awake and being Molly-coddled by his girlfriend."
Moving away from the bed, Levi headed to the door again.
"Anyway, I just came to check on you all. I've to go back to Erwin and Hanji. Get some rest. I'll be back in a few hours."
He was just closing the door when he stuck his head back in.
"And Petra, no more annoying the staff with a million questions. Just shut up and let them do their job."
He left her with her mouth hanging open, indignation flaring up again.
"Shut up, Aurou."
Flinging an old paper at her chuckling team mate, she crossed her arms angrily.
Well, excuse her for caring.
"We have to try something. I'll be damned if I let that traitor away with this," Levi was growling, his temper and patience both long worn out.
"No one is suggesting that, Levi," Pixis' gravelly voice berated the young Captain. "We will do everything in our power to take her out."
"And now we know she's military, we have a solid lead," Erwin added.
"Yeah, it only took half the Scout's lives to get a damned lead," Levi snapped back bitterly.
"Levi, it was a necessary sacrifice. It wasn't one we wanted to take, nor could we have foreseen how it backfired. But had we not taken those precautions, we could have ensued a serious fight closer to home," Hanji tried to reason with her short friend. "There was no way I could have even imagined the lengths she would go to to survive when I designed the trap. Her advancement is extraordinary, but left underestimated, could have been our downfall."
Knowing they were right, Levi clenched his jaw and leant back in his chair. He had one elbow propped on the table, sitting with his side to his comrades.
"So, what? We wait until we have another half assed plan and try flush her out? How many more soldiers have to die before we catch the bitch?"
His voice was low and venomous, his outrage and pain lashing out through him.
"There is nothing else we can do until we find out more and regather our troops," Erwin insisted firmly, not backing down from Levi's angry outburst.
"That, and there's the funeral services for the dead soldiers. Families are being informed later this evening, now the final count and identities have been doubly confirmed," Hanji added.
Levi glared around the table, hardly able to believe they were all so reluctant to act.
The longer they waited, the more the nameless traitor could be covering her tracks.
No longer being able to stomach the fellow leaders and this whole conversation, Levi stood, scraping back his chair.
"Well, fine then. Let me know when your all finished sitting on your asses and braiding each other's hair."
With a dark expression on his face, Levi strode out the door, slamming it on Hanji's protests.
"Well, that went well," Pixis smiled, taking a swig from his ever-present flask.
"Huh, Levi just can't see the bigger picture right now. He'll come around. In fact, excuse me gentlemen, I need to talk to him," Hanji stood, excusing herself in a more civilised manner than Levi.
Erwin watched her go, brown hair whisking out the door, and was just about to leave, himself, when a knock sounded on the opposite door.
Frowning at Pixis, who merely shrugged, Erwin raised his booming voice.
"Come in."
"Forgive the intrusion, sirs," a blonde head appeared around the door, several soldiers behind his shoulder.
"Armin, what can I do for you?" Erwin inquired.
"Well, sir, it's actually what I can do for you," the boy said nervously, his intelligent eyes full of nervous anticipation.
"Oh? And what would that be?" Erwin's interest was piqued.
Glancing over his shoulder at the other soldiers with him, Armin was encouraged by a girl with hair as dark and straight as her expression. Nodding, the blonde boy drew himself taller and took a deep breath before delivering the game changing news.
"Sir, I believe I know who the Female Titan is."
Erwin and Pixis exchanged a look before he turned his serious gaze back to the cadet.
"Armin, I think you should all come in and shut the door."
On leaving the meeting, Levi was in a worse mood then he had already been.
"Levi!" Hanji's voice called after him as he stormed down the stone steps from the HQ, his limp from his and Mikasa's rescue of Eren slightly showing through. He'd done his best to cover it up, but Hanji could see it in the way the stairs forced it out in his gait.
"What is it four eyes? I don't feel like going over every explicit detail of this. Go bother Erwin, he knows what's going on more than I do," he waved her away.
"That's not what I want to talk to you about," she panted, catching up with him easily enough.
"What then?"
"Your squad."
Levi stopped dead, turning to stare at the eccentric woman.
"What about my squad?" He demanded.
"Well, I was so sorry to hear about Günter, he was such a lovely guy. Very smart, could have been a tactical engineer-"
"Hanji! Your point?"
"I know the rest of them are pretty injured. I'm sorry about that too. What I'm wondering is will they be well enough to join you for this future mission, do you think?"
Hanji wasn't a fool; she knew he cared deeply for his team. He was clearly upset, his anger flaring up much quicker than usual.
Without directly bringing it up or asking, she was trying to get him to consider taking a new team, her worry for his squad bearing heavy on her.
She'd become close with Team Levi, what with spending so much work and off time with Levi.
His team was never far away, especially Petra. It seemed he had taken her to almost be his personal guard or assistant, she couldn't decide which.
She also guessed he had a soft spot for the young woman.
Petra clearly had feelings for him, too, although she kept it close to the belt.
Hanji couldn't help noticing these things though, it was just in her observant nature.
She didn't think either person was aware of the others feelings, nor would she spill the beans to anyone.
When she'd heard of how seriously his squad had been attacked, she took it upon herself to find out the extent of the damage.
It was bad.
Eren and Aurou were the least injured, although that would have been because of
Eren's abilities.
Aurou would still need weeks rest. Apart from his shattered wrist, his back muscles had been quite strained and damaged. Over work them too quickly and he could be looking at permanent damage.
Petra would also need a lot of time to heal, her lungs needing delicate healing time. If she was negligent about that, it could lead to some serious issues.
Eld - poor Eld, Hanji wasn't sure he'd ever be able to fight again. His leg was nearly in an irreparable state. He would have to undergo serious physiotherapy and possible reconstructive surgery, which was costly and extensive.
That was when he even woke up.
Then, there was the fact Levi had lost a man.
Günter had always been a curious being to her, smart but not open about it. He kept it to himself and seemed content in his position, despite Hanji having offered him a more... scientific route.
Levi would have killed her, of course, for poaching his subordinates, but it was a chance she wouldn't refuse the young soldier.
Alas, he was happy to stay put.
Now, neither had him and Hanji was truly sorry for that.
"Why do you want to know?" Levi narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. He was just too perceptive
Sighing dramatically, she decided she'd just lay it out.
"Levi, I think you should find a new team."
She prepared for the explosion.
"And why the hell would I do that?" He challenged, knowing exactly why but daring her to say it.
Knowing he needed to face truths, she bulled ahead. No one else would be brave enough to stand up to him and say it.
"Eren's fate is a total mystery right now. Eld may not walk again properly, or will be out for at least a year. Aurou needs time for his wrist and back to heal and Petra-"
Levi's eyes flashed angrily at her name, and he cut her off, as if he refused to hear what would keep her from his team.
"Hanji, don't you think I know what state they are in? I was there to pick them up off the ground. Literally, in most cases. So why would you feel the need to point this out? I'm aware. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm fast losing interest in this conversation," he snarled and spun on his heel, halfway down the stairs before she could respond.
It was late afternoon when Levi returned to the hospital and he was in a foul mood. He snapped at everyone from Petra herself, to the poor nurses trying to change Eld's IV bag.
Petra had no idea what had happened that made his so cross, but she wished he'd just relax.
Things were tense and horrible enough as it was without adding his drama to it.
Eventually, she'd had enough and needed to escape a while.
"Captain, why don't I go get us all coffee? I need a pick me up," she stretched, her bum gone numb from sitting in the chair for so long.
Levi glared at her a second before pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Fine," he shot out the word, eyes like unruly storms, restless and ready to unleash their fury.
Relief spread through her and she subtly got up from her seat, wincing at her ribs, which seemed to sear at every movement now.
She was nearly out the door when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned to see Levi following her, Aurou looking highly amused in the armchair in the corner.
"Where are you going, Captain?"
She hoped it wasn't with her.
He stared at her like she'd said the stupidest thing in the world.
"To get coffee. You think you'll be able to carry them on your own?" He challenged.
She could only let out a sheepish laugh.
"No, of course not."
Crap, now what had she done? The pair walked in silence, and though Petra usually broke it with easy banter that Levi listened to but didn't participate in mostly, she found she had no thoughts that didn't revolve around death, despair and pain right now.
She didn't feel like making him snap more or her cry in front of him, so she stayed quiet.
In the canteen, they headed for the coffee maker, Petra immediately reaching for the pot.
Levi, not expecting her to make it in her condition, also reached forward and their hands brushed together on the handle, causing Petra to shoot hers back with a mumbled apology.
Levi merely paused and continued reaching for it, picking it up and nodding for her to get three mugs.
Petra bit her lip as he poured, her adding milk to the three mugs and a shave of sugar to hers and Aurou's.
She could sense his gaze and looked up to find him looking at her with narrowed eyes.
"Ah.. Is something wrong, Captain?" She hesitantly asked, keeping his gaze this time.
He didn't look so much angry anymore, just pensive and unhappy.
"Günter's family are being informed of his death this evening," was his toneless answer.
Petra's hand froze mid stir, her gaze snapping back to his.
"Oh."
Staring down into the mug, the dark brown turning a paler shade as the milk clouded together, she felt like she was drowning in its dark depths.
They didn't know.
They would soon know. And then their lives would never be the same again.
Picking up two of the mugs, she wandered without seeing over to an empty table and chairs, slowly, heavily, lowering herself into it.
Levi followed her slowly, pulling out a chair opposite hers.
"You alright?"
"Sorry, Captain, I just... Need to sit for a minute. They don't know already?" She turned her eyes upon his, not able to comprehend the fact that they were still obliviously happy, and suddenly they just... wouldn't be.
"No, not as we're aware. Anyway, even if they know, an official notice has to be given by the military. It's just the way things are done," he shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee.
"So.. Who makes the notice?"
"Tch, this coffee tastes like sewage. A member of the the soldiers regiment, so a Scout representative. They inform the family, offer a bull of an apology on behalf of the military.."
He continued but Petra didn't hear him.
They couldn't let some stranger who didn't even know Günter tell his family! No way.
"No. Captain, I'm sorry, but it just cannot be done like that," she didn't even register she'd interrupted him. He raised his eyebrows at her and her interruption.
"I've met Günter's family. They're some of the nicest people I've ever met. And Günter was our friend... We can't let some stranger break his family's hearts. Please, Captain. Someone else has to do it, someone who knew him," she begged, this meaning more to her than she could explain.
He looked deep into her golden eyes, trying to pinpoint the swirl of emotion rippling through them.
After a few seconds of deliberation, he leant back.
"So who exactly should I get to do it, hmm?"
Petra drew her finger along the rim of her cup, knowing who, but not sure Levi would agree to it.
"Well, sir... I think we should do it. We knew him best, you're his Captain and I'm the only conscious person who had the chance to meet his parents. It just makes sense. And i think he'd be happier if we did it, too," she said softly, feeling ridiculous but better in herself.
Levi's eyes bored into her, making her squirm slightly, but she held firm on her request.
"You want us to be the ones to deliver the news that their son is dead?" He asked, wanting to be sure she knew what she asking to do. "You want to be the one who rips away their happiness?"
"Um... Yes. But not like that," she gulped, an unsure frown on her face now.
They sat for a few seconds before she spoke softly, a determined resolve taking hold of her expression now.
"It has to come from us. They have to know what he died for and how much he meant to us, not just another faceless soldier to a Scout representative. It has to be us," she insisted gently.
Levi was silent, leaning forward on the table with his arms crossed.
"Very well, then. We leave in an hour."
He stood and emptied his coffee before taking the two mugs in front of her and leading the way back to Eld's room.
Outside the door, he paused and handed her back the mugs.
"I'm going to tell them to cancel the notice, that I'll take care of it," his voice was heavy and unenthusiastic. Turning on his heel, he headed for the exit. He called back over a shoulder to her.
"I hope you're ready for this, Petra."
The two soldiers were some of the only people out on the streets that evening.
Despite the warm glow of the sun, people usually still headed in for the night. It was probably an old habit from the days where night attacks and robberies occurred, though they'd been vastly reduced over the years.
Petra's hands were trembling as they wound through the streets, fast approaching Günter's family home.
While she knew he was not good at these things, having Levi's unshakeable presence beside her made this almost bearable.
On reaching the front door, she felt her knees start to shake. Her heart was hammering in her chest and she thought she'd rather face all the titans in the world than shatter this family's life.
"Ok. Here we go," she muttered, earning her an unseen, almost sympathetic look from Levi.
Glancing over at her Captain, whose face was as emotionless as ever, she tentatively reached out and wrapped her knuckles off the door.
She blew out a rattling breath, her ribs raw again from the pressure in her chest.
Looking down at her feet, she couldn't decide if she wished they were home or not.
She reminded herself, though that it was either they tell them, or some random soldier.
Before she could decide, the door swung breezily open, a smiling Mrs Schultz beaming out at them.
"Petra! How are you, dearest?" Her eyes widened slightly in happy surprise before turning to her companion. "And Captain Levi, I believe! What a nic-"
That was when she stopped, looking back and forward between Levi's passive, uncomfortable expression and Petra's grim, bleak look.
Levi could see the moment it hit the poor woman.
"I am so sorry," Petra whispered, tears fast seeping up into her eyes.
"Oh. Oh my," Günter's mother gasped quietly, a hand fluttering up to hover over her heart. "Oh no," she cried and her face crumpled.
Petra's heart broke into a million pieces as the woman fell apart, folding forwards as huge sobs tore through her body at the loss of her son.
"Mrs Schultz, I'm so sorry," Petra gasped her own sob, reaching for the woman who clung to her, crushing the caramel haired girl to her body as her sorrow overflowed, Petra's shoulder soaked in seconds.
She rubbed the woman's back, her emotions battering against her flimsy walls to burst out and join in with the grieving mother.
Petra refused them, clenching her jaw as she rubbed Mrs Schultz's arms and held the woman back.
This wasn't her time to grieve. Hers would come later. Now, it was her duty as Günter's friend and squad mate to be there for his family, when he no longer could.
It didn't stop the tears, however, and they flowed silently down her face.
Levi stood in the same spot, completely overwhelmed and out of his depth with the emotions erupting from the doorway. He looked at his subordinate, at how she held the woman and held herself together at the same time.
Günter's mother was inconsolable, naturally, and Levi found himself needing to leave, to forget this.
This was a soldiers life, it was part of it. Death was inevitable and something he'd had to deal with plenty of times before.
Yet, this was different. This was something he hadn't had to experience before.
Usually, the soldiers in his command were only temporarily placed there, or part of a bigger regiment.
Sure, he'd been yelled and screamed at through tears, but this...
This was his first, personal squad death.
And it was unlike anything he had imagined possible.
He'd never had anyone to cry for him, never had anyone to fall apart over his injury or loss.
This foreign interaction put a cold, heavy feeling deep within his chest.
In the doorway, Mrs Schultz was still clinging to Petra, who's shoulders were stiff but strong.
She was saying soothing, none the less meaningless, words to her, trying to do anything to calm her.
A tall figure appeared behind the huddled women, and Levi knew it was Günter's father - it was like looking into his soldiers eyes.
"What on earth is going on out here?" He demanded anxiously, trying to make sense of the situation.
When he saw Petra, who extended a hand to him, unable to split herself from his wife, he took it in a daze.
Petra squeezed his fingers, telling him she was so sorry, tears evident in her shaky, yet stubbornly strong voice.
Levi felt a bitter-sweet pride in her strength.
Beside his wife and sons squad mate, the man looked like he was going to collapse.
Levi, refusing to let Petra take all this burden on by herself, forced his legs forward.
He didn't know where it came from, but he reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder and found himself saying, "I'm sorry. Your son was one the bravest men I ever knew."
He didn't even register the words had come from his mouth, but he let it slide, leading the man, who was now crying into his own hands, towards the table.
Mr Schultz leant on the wooden surface, his shoulders quaking.
Levi left his hand on his shoulder, not knowing what else to do.
He looked to Petra for some help, his heart giving another cold twist as he saw her soft, soothing face was drenched in silent tears she'd managed to hide from Mrs Schultz.
She looked sadly at him, giving him an encouraging smile.
She was proud of her Captain: While it wasn't the most affectionate or emotional response, for Levi, it was enough. He was showing his support and remorse, no matter how unnatural or small his act was.
"Mrs Schultz, maybe we should sit down, hmm?" Petra said softly to the broken mother.
She pulled away from the soldier, nodding weakly before turning to embrace her husband, releasing Levi from his obligation.
Turning to close the door, Petra subtly dried her face and scrubbed her eyes before turning back to the family.
Going into the state of shock that usually followed the onslaught of sorrow, Mr Schultz guided his trembling, but now quiet wife into a kitchen chair.
"Please," he croaked, gesturing for Levi and Petra to sit.
They complied, sitting opposite the couple.
"Mr and Mrs Schultz... I know this doesn't mean much, but we are so sorry. Words can't even explain just how sorry we are," Petra spoke softly leaning forwards, her hands clenched in front of her. "Günter was like a brother to us all."
"What happened? How did he...?" Mrs Schultz whispered, clamping a hand over her mouth to prevent another sob escaping. Her husband wrapped an arm around her shoulder and they leant into each other.
Exchanging a look with Levi, who looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him, she looked at her hands, swallowing before raising her eyes to meet theirs.
"Are you sure that's something you want to know?"
They looked at each other before nodding.
"We need to know," Mr Schultz confirmed.
Petra skimmed over the details, especially the classified and gory ones. They didn't need to know everything, just that their son died a hero, protecting a young boy and fighting with his team until the bitter end.
Silence enveloped the house as she finished her account, Günter's parents sitting in shocked, grief stricken silence.
"He fought right until the end," Petra finished, hating the cliché words but knowing they were true and genuine in this case.
Raising her red, swollen eyes to meet Petra's haunted golden ones, Mrs Schultz asked the question Petra had been dreading.
"Did... Did he suffer?"
Levi saw Petra's jaw twitch, she drew in a deep breath and flickered her eyes to his.
He couldn't do anything, couldn't offer any words of wisdom.
This was, unfortunately, all her.
He felt useless, for the second time since he thought he'd lost his squad.
"She..." Petra had to swallow back the lump in her throat, looking again at her hands to gather herself. "She snuck up on us so quickly. We were on alert but..." She heaved a breath, finally returning her gentle gaze to them "No. He was gone too quickly for it to hurt."
Not knowing what to do with this information, the couple just gripped each other, tears pouring from their eyes.
"What about the rest of your team? Are they ok?"
Petra hesitated, hoping it wasn't rubbing salt in the wound, but she nodded and confirmed that, yes, they were injured, but alive.
"Thank you," Mrs Schultz whispered and it floored Levi. He was expecting screams and things to be thrown, for them to realise it was his fault and turn on him, throwing him from their presence.
But a thank you... As she turned to look at Levi, there was nothing but sadness and regret in her eyes, but she was smiling at him with gratitude.
What the hell was happening?
"Being in your squad meant more to Günter than I think you'll ever know. He cherished you all so much, and Captain, he respected you so much. I know he didn't regret his choice to fight for you. So please don't blame yourself, if you do. Either of you," she turned to grip Petra's hand.
Her caramel hair framed her face as she dropped her head, a few tears landing on the table.
"Thank you. Günter was such a dear friend, we'll never forget him and all he did," she whispered, her voice dangerously close to cracking.
Levi frowned, trying to process the 'thank you' he'd received.
This was not how he imagined this going.
Knowing he had to, wanted to, say something for his fallen comrade and his family, he looked at the couple and just spoke, tried not to sound too formal and military sent.
"Günter was an amazing soldier. You probably know, I only picked the very best for my squad. He never made me regret my choice in him. Not once. He made me proud, and I'll never find anyone to match his skill or character," he stated, his voice firm but genuine.
Günter's parents nodded, small, broken smiles flitting across their faces.
"Thank you," she whispered again.
Petra and Levi left soon after, the two hugging Petra tightly.
Mr Schultz extended a hand to Levi, who grasped it firmly.
Before anyone could stop her, Mrs Schultz had grabbed the Captain in a crushing hug, thanking him, yet again for giving her son a life he had been so proud of.
Levi stood rigid as a clapboard, not able to function to reply.
Günter's mother released him and Petra placed a gentle hand on his arm, guiding him out the door.
With final, tear stained goodbyes from the husband and wife, they turned and headed back to the hospital.
They'd only gone a few buildings down when Petra stopped, leaning against a wall and bracing her hands on her knees.
"I'm sorry, Captain. I just need a moment," she said, voice breaking with tears and emotions.
Looking up at Levi, her golden eyes were glimmering with tears and she shook her head, sending them over the edge and down the worn path on her cheeks,
"That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do," she whispered raggedly. She pressed the back of her hands to her cheeks and under her eyes, trying to wipe off the wet.
"You were strong for them, Petra. Günter would be grateful," Levi told her, eyes dropped to the ground.
She gave a weak laugh, putting her face in her hands briefly.
"Don't say that, Captain, or you'll never get me to stop crying," she informed him ruefully.
Giving her a couple of minutes of silence to gather herself, Levi finally turned back to her.
"Come on, we need to get back. You need to rest," he ordered.
Nodding, she straightened and pushed off the wall.
"Yes, sir," she responded automatically, glad for the order.
It forced her to get a grip, knowing Levi was probably at his wits ends after the emotional evening he had to endure.
With the funerals and services to come, though, he would have to prepare himself for a lot more.