Here's Chapter 2! I told you it was coming, didn't I? Well now you don't have to wait any more and I can continue with all the little multiplying plot bunnies that are destined to take over the world of my mind. Like I mentioned, the next few chapter will be re edited and moved down. I'll get to them as soon as I can. Please leave reviews and let me know how you like these new installments. :)
Chapter II: All in Retrospect
I lean against the cool marble wall near the metal door marked as a Fire Exit with bright red lettering across it in bold print, psyching myself up for what's beyond. In many ways I prefer words from someone else's mouth to the truth I have to see myself. This however, is not one of those times. I need to know, by my own memory, what happened in the Dragonfly. Not based on what Reno says occurred. I hug my ribs, a wince surfacing as response to the careless movement. I haven't taken another dose of medication for a while. How long have I been up here? My eyes find comfort in watching the blank ceiling. Subconsciously, yet consciously I think of all possible patterns there before some other half demands enough. It demands that I get this over with. Uncomfortable feelings concerning what I may find in the cockpit holds me back from forcing the roof door open and just blindly striding out to the piece of otherworldly terror. Despite my being compatible with Net Dives, it was Rufus who pointed out how brave I was to actually do something. I let out a sigh, hands resting on the push bar and close my eyes.
This isn't a scary movie. This is reality. There will be no clowns or other creepy things on the other side. Trying to convince myself may as well be useless, since while working with Shin-Ra I've been exposed to some of the creepiest stuff that could never be matched in movies. Swallowing my fear, I make the jump, opening the door wide to face my foe. It sits unperturbed and beaten from landing. Rain coming down hard, the sound of it matching more along the lines of showering bullets than water. I step out into it, daggers penetrating through my suit with ease. Instantly I'm soaked, my skin underneath and creating a chill that reaches my bones while I tread across the dark pavement. A strip of red tape with the company logo decorating it stands as a barrier between me and the helicopter. I trail my wet sleeve across my face, brushing rain out of my eyes, shivering and glaring. I want those memories back. I want to know what the hell happened during those two weeks that Reno, Rude and Tseng all refuse to tell me. Having everything just being told to me isn't enough. Perhaps it never will be after this point.
"Fancy seeing you here," I scoff. As if the Dragonfly could answer me. Not in a million years, but I still dislike it for taking what was mine. Water pattering overhead creates a somewhat more soothing effect as I step in to a dry chill past the barrier I lifted. My eyes focus to the still dimly lit cockpit by blue bulbs emitting from below and around edges and on the floor. The door has become a heap of twisted metal in complex patterns indicating a fight to enter from the outside. I swallow hard thinking back on the memory of pounding. Could Reno not have been able to open it from the inside? Already I do not like my decision in coming here. Wires hang down, stripped and live from their casings. They litter the floor along with other random pieces from wherever. Bits of glass here and there leave a trail for my eyes to follow back to their respective owner being the large screens. I stop, daring not to step any closer at the sight of caked blood covering the seat and headset hanging down from frayed cables. It too, is coated in the same dark plasma. That can't possibly be mine. I'm stuck in a world of denial and disbelief of what I'm seeing. To catch myself, I lean against the nearest wall feeling more scared about knowing where the truth lies in every direction. The only thing I can think of to do against these horrors is cover my eyes to hide them. I take a few deep breaths, seeing if that would help in better preparing me for this. However, when I uncover them again, I'm not so sure I still want to know.
"I thought I would find you here," my partner's steady voice calls through the thick sheet of rain outside. My attention is drawn to where he stands under an umbrella, just inside the tape.
"Not too surprising," I say in return, he steps into the helicopter and lowering his umbrella outside. He closes it, shaking the waterproof material dry. I bite my bottom lip, eyes scanning back over the disaster zone that was once so easy to navigate. My partner's destroying the wall that left me alone with my lost memories in the Dragonfly and it's making me uncomfortable. I'm still upset that he won't tell me much of anything at all.
"I want my memories back," I whisper in the eerie silence of the cockpit. I dare to meet charcoal eyes for a second that tell me everything he's feeling because he lets me see. There's an internal torment, concern, anger and respect. It's hardly enough to translate as a single emotion, yet too much to bear for one person alone. I can't begin to fathom how he does it.
"Is that a sincere statement?" he asks, daring to take me on in an argument. I can't bring myself to answer.
"I've talked with Rufus about wanting you to try and remember. After hearing about the condition I found you in with more detail, he withdraws the request, saying it's probably better you don't."
"Why is everyone being so protective? I have a right to know, don't I? I'm not a child, Tseng! I can handle the truth," I state in a bitter tone, still fed up with my fellow Turks pussyfooting around me, and now the president is doing it, too! I've had enough of this! I want to know the truth even though I'm afraid of it. That should make some sense, right? He gives a sigh, glancing at the floor before meeting my eyes again.
"Look, Elena. It's not that I don't agree with you about any of this. You might not be prepared enough for it. I don't want the truth to hurt you more than a lie if you found out on your own. The things Reno and I saw happen, you may think that you're prepared to hear, but we know that you're not."
The scary part is that this is my Commander and partner being honest. He's so good at fabricating stories off the top of his head, which anyone would find hard not to believe. Now that he's said this, I'm a little more afraid of what exactly, the truth is. Though, my need to know is still fighting rationality to let it go.
"Could you… do me the decency of at least telling me a little of what happened?" I ask in a subdued tone. His charcoal eyes meet mine with mild pleading that he not be forced to revisit those memories. But he nods all the same.
"If that's what you want," he says with a sigh.
"Reno was trying to wake you by the time I was able to open the door. He had already mopped up blood covering your face once, I could tell from the stains on his jacket sleeve, but there was no end to it. He said that you had been unconscious for most of the flight back from Deep Ground. It had him worried since the Dragonfly was still being piloted somehow. When I tried removing the headset, Reno warned against it. He was saying that it was too dangerous for me to free you of its confines since you weren't entirely there. The only thing I could do was wait. So I did. I kept an eye on you while he worked on a program to override the Dragonfly's systems. He told me that the longer you remained in Net Dive, the more the Dragonfly would eat away at you, and eventually you would have died. We were forced to work quickly. However, the slightest wrong move would have advanced the progression rate at which the helicopter was killing you. Neither of us knew whether the virus would work, so we were taking our chances."
I can only stare at my feet after he finishes all that he's going to tell me. He was right. It is a lot to take in. I feel like I should be the one giving him the hug instead of the one receiving protection from what happened. Though, I doubt he would take it well. I try my luck anyway, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head against his chest. His heart beats with a steady rhythm in my ear, body stiffening from my unwarranted closeness.
"I'm sorry, Tseng," I whisper feeling the tension in him loosen now that he's aware I have no intention of letting go. He returns the hug with more gentleness, his arms wrapping around my shoulders.
"You shouldn't be doing this, Elena," my partner warns with a stern tone.
"I know… I just thought you could use a hug…" I respond, my voice muffled against the fabric of his suit. Tseng lets out a soft sigh. "Fair enough." He gives me a squeeze.
"You did what you had to. I would prefer that you had escaped a different way than performing a Net Dive, but no one is going to blame you for surviving." He unwraps his arms from around me and I do the same, watching as he takes a minute to straighten his suit and tie, then pops open his umbrella just outside the doorway. Charcoal eyes watch me as I hold myself, still desperate for my freezing skin to encase that loss of warmth.
"Why not come inside and get some lunch? It would be better than staying out here," he coaxes, causing me to glance up from my own little world. With a nod I join him under the umbrella as we head back to the Fire Escape.
"Tseng?" I ask a hint of blush heating cold skin.
"Hm?" he returns.
"Thanks for telling me the truth. And, you're right. Maybe I'm not as prepared as I think I am to hear it all just yet. I really appreciate it," I say in a quiet tone.
"You deserve nothing less," he comments opening the steel door, allowing me to enter first before he does.
The two of us break to different directions when we reach our floor. Tseng heads for his office, while I head for the lounge where Reno and Rude can be heard conversing from the hall. Their conversation stops when I enter, both sets of eyes instantly finding a new focus on my appearance in a wet suit and hair. I decide to make a beeline for the coffee machine in order to avoid their awkward glances.
"So, Elena… Why are you all wet?" Reno asks with a smirk, while his partner shakes his head knowing this isn't going to end well.
"I was outside," I admit easily enough, pouring a coffee mug full of French Vanilla deliciousness.
"With Tseng?"
"Yes."
"Where?"
"The roof." Reno shuts up after that. Yes! Score one for me! I knew I would get back at him sometime. He turns to Rude instead, ignoring my presence in the room.
"Hey, Rude." The other Turk grunts in response, taking a sip from his coffee cup.
"You wanna hear a story about how Elena's afraid of heights?"
"I am not!" I object, feeling my skin heat up again. My victory has been short lived even though I want it to last longer. Goddam Reno and his goddam scheming!
"Not according to what happened in the reactor," he says with a smug grin that makes me want to dump my coffee over his head. I abstain seeing no point in wasting it.
"So anyway, Elena was clinging to the railing for dear life-"
"Shut up, Reno." I roll my eyes, carrying the steaming cup from the lounge as I head towards my office. It looks like I'll have to get lunch later this afternoon, or just skip it all together. I decide that getting some filing done would be more productive. It's a good distraction since Tseng needs it done before the end of the week anyway. Besides, I get some time away from Reno and his constant need to poke fun at me.
XxXxX
The days ebb by uneventful and for once I'm glad that there isn't as much madness going on in the company. However, contrary to my superior's retraction of his assignment for me, I decide to keep a journal in order to jot down any particular memory that comes to mind. So far, all there is in the little moleskin notebook I keep with me all the time, are words, fragments that I can only deem as a close connection to the Dragonfly. Or, as close as it'll get. It takes a little more effort out of me every day to get my mind to cooperate. But at least I have something to do in the morning while sitting with my cup of coffee.
So far, I can vaguely remember the pounding on the door which Tseng has described as himself trying to get in and Reno calling for him to hurry up, but warning him against moving me.
"Don't touch her! Gods, I don't know where all this blood is coming from…"
I write the quote down as quickly as it comes to mind. It must be something Reno has said. Though, I do remember trying to move and not being very successful. Along with the feeling of fingers against my forearm and sticky hair being brushed out of my face. The memories decide on ending there for the time being. I'm quickly snapped out of my current objective, a knock at my office calling my attention to Tseng standing in the threshold. I snap my journal closed at attention for what he may need of me.
"Rufus is ready for us," he says, waiting for me while I take up the tiny book to cradle in my arm as if it's my most prized possession. I receive a quizzical expression in response.
"It's for Rufus. I feel the need to keep a journal in case any random memories come to mind. It's the least I can do." Tseng nods, being respectful of my decision to continue on with my assignment.
When the elevator dings open at the top floor, he leads the way to our superior's office. The familiar vibes of tension tug, calling my Turk instincts into action, despite there being no danger. I wonder what this meeting is about. Surely I haven't done anything lately to call attention to myself in an unsatisfactory way. I hope.
"You… wanted to meet with me, Sir?" I ask upon entering, setting my journal beside me in the seat I choose. The president of Shin-Ra glances at me, then at my partner. Now this has me confused. What's going on?
"Actually, no. It was Tseng who called this meeting between us. Not I. Though, I am curious to know the reasons for calling such a meeting in session Without our other Turks, no less." He laces his fingers in his lap and crosses his legs, turning his attention in the direction of the raven haired Turk Commander.
I don't understand. This only has me even more confused by the second.
"Tseng," I ask a bit troubled about holding such a meeting without our companions. He must have a very good reason for this meeting to be so private. Especially since Rufus and I seem to be thinking on the same wavelength.
"I have reason to believe that the president should go underground for a while," he states with an uncomfortably steady tone. I'm so taken aback that my body feels frozen to my seat. I can practically feel the color drain from my skin even more than it already is. Rufus has to go underground?! My eyes wander over to see how our boss is taking this information, though he appears to be taking this a lot better than I have expected.
"Elena, you were concerned with what Reno has missed, and you have every right to be. I dug through files of Reactor Zero's activity, which have brought up troubling conclusions. Someone has been waiting for us to enter the reactor. It could possibly be you, or the president who they're after, however I have yet to determine which it is."
The pit of my stomach feels like it has just exited the building, leaving me with a feeling of constriction. I can sense that this is just the tip of the iceberg. There's more, isn't there?
"They could have been waiting for any of us," I choke out meeting Tseng's gaze. He knows this is true, yet he seems certain that Rufus and I are the ones being sought after, or mainly Rufus.
"What makes you so sure, Tseng," the president asks. He's always the one brave enough to voice his opinion about everything. I envy him for having that confidence.
"You were pretty out of it in the hospital. However the brain is a powerful tool and you told me that you believed that the President might be in danger while in your weakened state. The subconscious never lies." I force myself to swallow, wanting so badly to divert my attention on something else like the patterns in the rug, if there are any. I'm sure I can find some.
"I shouldn't be forced to go into hiding. We aren't even sure that there's even a threat to concern ourselves with," Rufus points out with a slightly agitated tone. I want to agree with him. Really, I do. But my partner is also pushing a valid argument.
"Think about it, Sir," I try to convince our superior in a steady tone despite my feeling extremely unstable.
"If I had said that, which Tseng has no reason to lie. If he's right about this, someone could easily assassinate you on the street or somewhere you think is safe."
I hate choosing sides! I hate choosing sides! I hate choosing sides!
"You think I would allow that to happen?" Rufus asks me, his already deep blue eyes taking on a darker shade in challenge. I should know better than trying my chances against him. If I'm wrong, then I am so dead.
"You might not see it coming. Reno and I just barely made it out alive. If someone is truly after you, Sir, you need all the protection you can get." I went there. I frikkin went there! Oh, I'm going to get myself killed someday. Accepting a challenge from Rufus Shin-Ra is about as safe as taking on Azul.
"You're to go underground as well, Elena."
"What?!" Rufus and I ask in unison, my tone showing how much more shocked I am at the prospect than he is. I can't guard Rufus! Reno and Rude have far more experience than I do! This is madness! Has everyone in Shin-Ra lost their mind?!
"W-why me, Sir? Wouldn't it be wiser to choose Reno or Rude?"
"Sit down," Tseng commands and I sit, not noticing that I have stood up in the first place. He lets out a sigh, closing his eyes for a moment before continuing.
"I admit, it was a hard decision for me to make since you're still recovering. However, Reno and Rude are easily recognizable and I'll be needed here so the company doesn't completely fall to pieces with both of you absent. It is true that you've only been with Shin-Ra for the better part of three years, which gives more reason for you to do this. I'll admit that you're pretty and it shouldn't be hard for you and Rufus to blend in with a crowd. It's what he needs. Not to mention you've proven that you have a strong will to live. Therefore, I think you're the most adequate of us to go with him," Tseng explains, leaving no room for a further argument. I give a sigh in defeat, feeling both men's gazes wait for an answer. Am I sure I can do this? I don't know. I'll have to no matter what.
"All right. When should we leave?"
"Soon. I've fabricated a report so that no one knows of your absence. Reno and Rude won't notice until you've been gone a while, perhaps sooner. They're very perceptive, and I've taken all means necessary to make sure you remain invisible to everyone. Which includes myself. I'm not to know where you are, even if something happens and you contact me. Is that clear?"
I nod, sneaking a glance at Rufus from the corner of my eye. He clearly doesn't approve with the arrangements Tseng has made without his knowledge.
"Would you be willing to agree with this, Sir," Tseng asks our superior who doesn't detain from showing how much he disapproves, but gives a curt nod anyway.
"I suppose there is no choice in the matter. I'll have to abide by your instructions, even if I don't agree."
"Sir. Hopefully you won't be gone for very long. It is for your protection."
"I am aware of this."
Different scenarios play out in my mind of how this could have ended very badly. In a way I'm glad that Rufus agrees, if not grudgingly, with my partner's plan. Daring to challenge Rufus like Tseng has requires a whole 'nother level of bravery than piloting the Dragonfly. I look at Tseng, hoping to find a hint of stirring that proves to me he's at least a bit troubled by his own proposal. Like Rufus, I'm not too fond of the thought about going underground. Though, what choice do we have? I stir in my seat, standing in a fluid motion which draws both sets of eyes in attention.
"I…I'll go bring my car around to the front." Because I need a distraction. It'll help me get away from them and focus on my new assignment as well.
Rufus nods his response, giving me a silent excuse while he gathers papers atop his desk into neat stacks.
XxXxX
While listening to my engine hum quietly, I lean back against the driver's seat with my eyes closed and waiting for my boss. He said he would be down in about half an hour, which gave me enough time to shower quickly and change out of my uniform into something more comfortable. I choose a sweatshirt over a white tee shirt and a pair of jeans. Hey, if Tseng is serious, it's better not to be wearing my work clothes. My ribs ache, the medication has run out this morning and I don't get a refill. Great. This leaves me face to face with the reality that both of us are in danger since I'm not up to par. Rufus opens the passenger door just as I'm about to call Tseng. I put my phone away, pulling out from along the sidewalk while he puts his seatbelt on. Everything seems fine so far, there's no sign of anyone trying to track us. That doesn't give me an excuse to let my guard down, though. It's better not to even think about it. My hands grip the steering wheel in nervousness, when I remind myself to relax by taking a deep breath. It's possible that nothing will happen. It's possible that we will be fine. My boss leans back against the black leather seat, arm propped against the window. It's bad enough he makes me nervous when he speaks. When he doesn't speak, I'm terrified of what may be going through his mind. I need a topic to break the ice.
"Tseng said that you've taken back the request for me to remember all that I can about the incident," I mutter pulling onto an on ramp, heading towards the highway.
"You are correct."
"Why? I don't need more people keeping the truth from me."
"Tseng's intention wasn't to hurt you when he requested that I draw back on my orders, understand? He thought that if we were to tell you after you have discovered the truth on your own, you would be even more traumatized. After all, some things are better left forgotten," he says dropping his tone. He shifts in his seat, when I break to the car in front of me. I glance out my window to the long line ahead with realization that we've just hit rush hour traffic. This may take some time.
"I've decided to keep a journal anyway. You can look at it if you want. If no one's going to tell me much of anything, don't you think I would be worse off not knowing? I'm missing two weeks of my life that contained memories I may find important. However, I'm starting to remember little bits and pieces. Parts of dialogue; an action or two. But I know it's going to take a while." Cars inch up the road. My hands now resting in my lap, foot lightly on the gas. I reach in the back seat for my journal passing it to him who opens it and examines the contents.
"You do realize that you might not get all of them back, right?" he asks, flipping a page with the utmost delicacy.
"And I'm okay with that," I respond feeling comfortable with my answer. It's the best I've been feeling since Reno and I have come back. This little sense of comfort is really appealing during all this depression. "As long as I get answers I need, I'm fine with leaving everything else forgotten."
I lean on the steering wheel careful not to place my full weight on the horn, which would drive people in cars ahead to road rage. At least I'm managing a conversation with Rufus. I would have been too afraid even trying if this same situation happen a few years ago.
"You intrigue me, Elena." I peek above my arm at him, sapphire eyes containing a hint of amusement.
"Sir?" I ask, voice muffled by my sweatshirt in confusion of what he finds so intriguing about me.
"You take your work seriously and most times produce remarkable results. You're not afraid to take chances despite the possibility of failure being greater than the odds of survival. Yet, you're easily flustered and bothered by Reno's meaningless jokes. Why do you let them bother you so much?" he asks with genuine interest.
This is new. Rufus has never asked personal questions of the like before. I shrug in response.
"I guess a lot of what he says is hard to just brush off, since so much of it leans fairly close to my personal life. Like my fear of heights when we were in reactor Zero. We were walking through chamber after chamber over Mako on rusted grating. I didn't think it would hold and was terrified of falling in." He nods in agreement. I catch his eye dart my way for just a second before going back to concentrate on my journal in his hands. I blush in spite of myself, aware of the possibility that he has already given me the once over since I'm not in uniform.
Traffic picks up some allowing my car a few feet forward before coming to a halt once again. I sigh hating that we're getting nowhere fast. My eyes roll in frustration and glance at the empty lane to my left. Should I risk going into the lane meant for oncoming traffic since no one has been going down it for some time? Sure! Why the hell not? At least we'll be getting somewhere. I switch the turn signal, pulling carefully into the empty lane and giving my superior a heads up before speeding down the highway past the endless line of cars. A few hundred yards down the line, traffic seems to have picked up, so I pass back to our original lane.
Well, that was annoying. A loud noise hitting my car has me breaking hard. What the…? I don't want to get out checking it, yet at the same time I do.
"What was that?" I ask, turning to Rufus who's wearing a troubled expression.
"I'm not sure. It sounded like a gun shot."
As if to clarify, another loud bang hits my car at the same moment I hit the gas.
"Yeah? Well we're not staying to find out."
Another few rounds are fired, bouncing off my fender, though I can't quite tell where they're coming from. I take an off ramp to a different section of the highway, adrenalin running through my veins like wildfire.
"My gun is in the glove box," I tell Rufus, who pops it open at once and passes the semi-auto to me while reaching for his own. I set my gun in my lap, safety still intact while I snare a glance through the review mirror. Two motorcycles trail us at a reasonable distance behind. Rufus has picked up on them as well, opening his window and firing at our pursuers. The back windshield cracks eventually collapsing in on itself from being hit by countless bullets. One stray catches my cheek hitting the front with a satisfying crunch. It only results in making me that much more annoyed. Another sharp pain of a second bullet going through my arm tries to distract me when I pull my boss inside to save him from being hit. I ignore the searing fire that's spreading quickly even though it's proving extremely difficult against everything going on around me. Rufus is now using the back of my passenger seat as a shield and returning fire through the broken window. I shake my head to stop my vision from blurring, willing myself to keep driving. I've been in worse situations than this, I remind myself. Instinctively, I wipe at the wound on my cheek annoyed with the feeling of liquid dripping down it and smear ruby across my skin. It covers the palm of my hand and steering wheel when I take hold of it again.
"Are you alright," he asks reloading his gun, ready to take on the world. With how many bullets his shotgun could hold, I wouldn't be surprised if he can succeed in doing so. I nod against the dizzy feeling. "Yeah. I'll be fine."
"Good. I can't have you passing out on me yet."
I can't promise that. The wound in your arm is pretty nasty. I ignore the sting in my arm. Gods that hurts! What did they shoot me with, a needle?! I switch lanes on a dime to try and throw off whoever's behind us, catching the sight of one motorcycle crashing into the guard rail through my review mirror. The other still hangs tight to my bumper, giving me the only option of shooting at it from my window and using the side mirror as a guide, then break hard. The Shin-Ra president steadies himself at the same time our pursuer races past my car. I climb out, making a few more shots through the open window, door of my car being my shield. The motorcycle stops for a second to make a sharp U turn back in our direction. I squint against fatigue, making more blind shots through my blurred vision and hoping I hit what I'm aiming for. He's thrown off his bike, leaving it to roam without an owner before crashing. I heave a sigh, lying against my door. Soreness dares to consume every muscle in my body. I drop my gun, the weight of it suddenly too heavy. Is it just me, or is it really burning up for an overcast day? Everything hurts. My vision is giving out just as I feel my grip on the door slipping, though I feel no ground when I fall. Has Rufus caught me? It's warm. There's going to be more people after us. For that I am sure, but I may just have to sit this one out unfortunately.