Authors note: Like Meyer's muse was Muse, mine are Placebo 3 Placebo lyrics will fit each chap for this fanfic.

"Cast your mind back to the days,

When I pretend' I was OK.

I had so very much to say,

About my crazy livin'.

Now that I've stared into the void,

So many people, I've annoyed.

I have to find a middle way,

A better way of givin'."

Bright Lights-Placebo

BELLA POV:

About three things I was absolutely positive.

First Edward was a vampire. Second there was a part of him, I don't know how dominate that part might be, thirsted for my blood. Lastly, I wanted to know more.

The night Jacob told me of what the Cullens where I had a dream. A strange dream at that, one of the dreams I sometimes didn't remember. They faded quickly from my mind so rapidly.

Flashback-

I lay down in bed, the blaring music in my ears attempting to hide my thoughts from giving me a panic attack. I fell asleep at some point, I don't know how long it took I tried not to open my eyes to peer at the clock. Suddenly I was no longer in my bed. I was in the forest, moss under my bare feet. A voice echoing in my mind.

Deep green, emeralds, to much, it's too much. Claustrophobic. I hate it here. I want the heat, the smell of the desert winds.

I wandered aimlessly in the forest. I had only my night cloths on, tank top and underwear, yet I wasn't cold.

I wasn't human, I was a monster. Un-natural caring for humanity. Disgusted. I'm better at being the bad guy anyway.

Suddenly he was in front of me. Blood covering him, dark hair in his face, teeth gleaming in the moonlight. He smiled, moving my hair from my face with long pale, bone-white fingers. His hand stayed there, cupping my cheek. I wasn't alarmed by this, I felt like I should be.

The growls began then, he flung me behind his body, protecting me as he crouched him front of me. I saw more red eyes, and this time I was scared.

I woke up screaming. Already the memory of my dream was slipping from me, I grabbing my drawing pad that was by my bed, and began to stetch the most vivid thing I could remember about the dream.

Him. His face, his eyes, the hair that was covering most of it.

End of flashback.

It intrigued me to no end the subject that vampires were not just of fiction works, myth and legend. They were real. I knew it with all my heart that they were. He had confirmed it. I wanted to question him. I wanted to know everything, but somehow the subject of vampires seemed...familiar.

I got up from my bed as my alarm clock sounded, he had told me he would pick me up today. I went to my window to look for his shiny volvo, it wasn't there. I thought for sure he would be there, maybe he would still. I hadn't yet gotten ready.

I dressed in black jeans, converse and a shirt that had NewYork Motorcycle club with a completely epic Harley on it. I pondered looking at the mirror if Edward would like this on me. He had told me he liked my blue shirt, but did I want him to like me? No. Something about Edward was off. I wanted to know more about vampires, not him. He screamed danger, but could I befriend any of the other Cullens?

What wouldn't make them be the same? There was something different in the way he looked at me, not in the I'ma eat you way. In the way like I wasn't from this world. Like he wanted to dissect me, figure out what was going on in my head.

I wanted my thoughts private, I was naturally a private person. I had virtually no one as a friend. I skated by getting lost in my former school without anyone paying attention to me. Now in this tiny town the spotlight was highlighted on me. The new girl. That's all it was, something new to look at that this small town perverted boys hadn't seen.

I sighed. I applied eyeliner, just a little. It was all I ever used, if I used anything at all. I was going to be late if I didn't go now. He wasn't here. He flaked on me, had to be. Did vampires have to have perfect recall? I thought back to the way Louis described his past to the interviewer guy. Yep, they had to have perfect recall.

I pulled into the school building, just in time to run into my first class. That was a feat that I was proud of. Running. I couldn't run at all. I wasn't a bad fighter, my daddy taught me well. I just couldn't run, I ran funny and had a tendency to fall. Charlie picked up on this when I was young and taught me basic defense gradually getting harder on me as I aged.

I sat in my seat in my first period math class, pulling out my notebook and pencil. This was the first time I saw him. The new student. He came in, and I swear to whoever was in up there, theme music played. Like a movie scene there he was. The girls all gasped, I managed to keep mine silent. He...I had seen him before. Were had I seen him before?

The sense of knowing this already, the sense of recognition surged through me. I knew him, but I didn't at the same time.

His hair was dark, longish to his shoulders falling into his eyes just slightly. He was pale, Edward pale. His lips they were not perfect, full but not, a slight dried red color. Dried blood. Why did I just think that? Though they were sexy as hell. His jawline was prominent, manly and perfect. His dark eyebrows framed his dark eyes. He caught me staring as he walked forward, he smirked at me. They smirk was pure sin. The good sin. Like drugs sex and rock n roll. Boots clicking he tossed the paper to the teacher not even caring if he signed it.

I realized then, that the only seat left in the packed class was being my partner. Oh my. He sat to my left, openly staring at me, leaning on his elbows. "You know, you need paper and stuff. This is a school." It was rude to stare, but who was I to judge since I had just ogled him freely. He had no backpack, and he looked like a super senior.

"I just got here, I don't have anything. Mind sharing? After all sharing is caring." I bit my lip, turned and got him paper, giving him one of my spare pencils, slightly using to much force to give it to him. He was cocky, maybe he knew how good looking he was. I hated those types.

He chuckled deeply. "I'm Peter Whitlock 'nd you?" That was the first time I noticed his accent. Southern, but not something you'd here from now. I had lived in southern states before.

"Bella Swan. I'm new here too..bout two months now. Where are you from?"

"Georgia, orignally, but I came here from Texas." He answered honestly.

"Mr. Whitlock, here is your paper back. You need to have your supplies by tomorrow." He slammed the paper down in front of him, this made him recieve a oh no you just didn't do that look from Peter. The teacher turned to walk off before turning right back. "Isabella! You can help Peter get his things."

Ah I hated this teacher. He refused to call me Bella. Now he was making me help this guy. Not that I didn't mind, he was sexy as hell. But...But what? There was no but. Bella you've finally found someone you can't make an excuse to go for!

"Aww. We're going to be besties." He said in a girly tone. Which was alarming coming from him, but also hilarious. I giggled foolishly. My pencil began to run away from the table, I went to grab it at the same time he did. He touched my hand and left it there. Ice cold. Edward cold. Edward skin. Dark circles under his eyes. His eyes were mud brown though. I looked into them then, they must be contacts. I could see something under them.

"Your..."

He smiled a slow spreading grin. "Yes. Today I'll tell you many things, but at the moment I do believe we need to focus on geomatry."

I tore away from his gaze and attempted to focus on the teacher. He still had a hold of my hand. I an aching feeling to lace my fingers in his.

What is wrong with you, you just met him, hes a vampire you don't know anything about.

I know so much about Edward?

You know he doesn't eat people.

What did I see under those contacts? I wanted to stare at them some more but I thought that would be creeper status even for a vampire.

So I payed attention the best I could, he moved his hand to work on the problem Mr. Ihatekids assigned us. He waved the pencil around and stared at me."Book?"

"OH!" I pulled out the book frantically, turned to the page and sat it between us. I began scrawling down the obscenely easy problem, and solving it.

"So." He said dragging out the o. "You wanna ditch the rest of school?"

"Why would I ditch the rest of the day to spend time, with a...person that has a substance issue, that I barely know. Actually don't know, at all." I stared at him, cocking my eyebrow.

He leaned forward slowly. "Because I'd never hurt you." His words were just a whisper, barely a sound. He said it so sincerely, with such emotion, with such...what was that? What was powering this vow he just told me. What was so special about me?

No. It was to sincere. He didn't know me, why wouldn't he hurt me? Weren't vampires supposed to like to hurt humans? I knew th Cullens, from what Edward had told me, were good. They didn't kill humans, they lived off of the blood of animals, but they didn't wear contacts. Like this fellow did. As I looked at him, I recognized what I saw under the mud brown, flecks of red peeking out.

I swallowed. "M'kay. Why?" I narrowed eyes.

He huffed. "Why can't you just believe me? Nothing could make me harm you! Nothing. I can explain, but from less prying ears and eyes. "

I looked around then, while everyone was working on the assignment, they were peeking up, staring freely, glaring. Small towns. I thought I was past the stares.

The teacher began droning on again. Could I trust him? Could I just willing ride off with a vampire that more than likly eats humans? Could I risk my life like that?

He won't hurt you.

I don't know that! How can I know that! My logical was warring with my instincts. My instincts were telling me to trust him, and I didn't know why. My gut, my heart was saying go Bella go! But my mind was screaming what the hell is wrong with you, you must have been dropped as a baby or something.

Didn't you always go with your instincts?

That was true, I always did, because they weren't this on crack before. Well. I was a teenage. I guess it was my time to be reckless. Was I going to extremes? Yes, but I didn't care at the moment.

The bell rang atlast, I put everything quickly away, grabbed my coat from the hanger and walked out of the classroom. Most of my classes here were in the collection of red brick buildings. It was easy to skip classes if I wanted. "You comin'?" I asked him, looking back.

He smirked and caught up to me, before I had to catch up to his quick stride. "Come on you don't want to get caught do ya!" He took hold of my arm, pulling me.

"My truck! It's red and huge."I told him through my giggles. I had never cut a class a single day of highschool and I was a mid year junior. That's when I saw them, the entirety of the Cullens my truck. He stopped dead in his tracks.

"Sweetheart? Do you trust me?" He looked down at me quickly before locking eyes with Edward.

"I-"

"Get away from her Peter!" Edward said voice raised.

"Edward, he isn't going to hurt her, leave it be." The blonde male said, moving between us. "It's true Edward, I told you, he won't harm her." The tiny girl with spiky hair said taking a hold of Edwards arm.

"Edward go. I'm fine. Your going to attract attention." I said mad that he thinks he has rights to me.

"She can't want to be near him!" He yelled out.

"Wh-" Peter started but I had, had enough. I stepped from behind him, slightly in front of him, squared my shoulders.

"Alright, get the fuck out-of-the-way of my truck. I can talk to whoever I want to dipshit! I already told you to go. Thank you for saving me, twice, but you have no claim over me. Yeah you can't read my mind, whatever, I'm a private person. If you respected me at all you would stop acting like I'm something you own, someone you know anything about. " I made motions with my hands for them all to get away.

The were ruining our quick get away.

The female blonde's eyes went large before she started to cackle wildly."What do you know, she's got balls. Eddy, you're leaving her alone unless she wants your company." That was the cue for the big one push a highly shocked Edward away before he stiff armed him away walking to his next class.

I pried open the door of my Chevy and climbed in. "You coming or you gonna let the flies fly in?"

He stood there slack jawed staring at me. He chuckled merrily, and got in the passenger side door. He sat down and crossed his arms waiting for me to drive. "Seatbelt."

"Really?" He asked, buckling his seatbelt.

"I'm a cops daughter dude." I started the ignition, the thing coming to life with a roar. I pulled out of the parking lot, more than likely everyone hearing my departure, but I didn't care at the moment.

He fiddled with my radio turning it on. Smiling once he heard the station, leaving it on low.

"Were are we going?" I asked driving down main street.

"Your house will be fine, your Dad isn't home right?"

"Nope. He's at work, like I should be at school."

"Tell him you were sick."

"I'm not a good lier." The drive to my home was a short one, just like everything was in Forks. I pulled into my normal parking spot, then turned to look at him again. It was strange having him in my car. I still felt like I had seen him before.

"Take a picture, it lasts longer." He said with a cocky grin.

"I've seen you before." I said simply.

"When?"

"Trying to remember."

I frowned, finding out that I couldn't. I got out of the truck, gravel crunching in the same unnerving way as I walked to the house, pulled out my keys and entered. I held the door open to this vampire that I was welcoming into my home.

"Do I have to invite you?"

"No, thats a total lie. You watch to many movies." He entered my home, looking around. He walked over to the picture on the stand, one from me when I was eight at La Push. I was holding the first fish I had ever caught. I had made them let me set it free afterward.

He began exploring my house then, walking from room to room on the lower floor. He walked up the stairs, eyeing every single picture, examining it before he moved upward. I followed behind him. He got to the door of my room and opened it without even asking. He walked in, sat on the floor, pulling my large CD book onto his lap, carefully un-zipping and flipping the pages.

I raised my eyebrow, shrugged off my jacket tossing it on the rocking chair, kicking my shoes off in the process. I flung myself on the bed. "So stranger thats going through my belongings, you owe me some answers."

"First, tell me what you know."

"I know of Edward's change. I know he can read minds, I know Alice right?" He nodded. "Can see the future, the blonde boy, Jasper, can control emotions. I know the Cullens don't feed on humans, thats why their eyes are gold. I know he's strong, I've seen it. He stopped the van with his hand, I know he's fast, he got there from being on the complete other side of the parking lot. I know this because I was staring at them, I knew something was different. Something off."

"You're very perceptive aren't you?" He mused, still flicking through my CDs smiling wistfully.

"Well I guess I should tell you my story, now you can't be afraid of me. That just won't work. So be warned and brace yourself."

"Does it look like I'm scared of you?"

"I'm beginning to think you don't have that emotion."

"Then why did you warn me?" He didn't answer my question, instead he told me his story.

He took a deep breath and began. "I was born in Georgia, my family moved to Texas for better land. I don't remember much of my family, most vampires raised in a violent way forget their humans paths to make it easier. Well thats atleast what I did. I had to completely forget my humanity to survive. I turned 1884. I was twenty, Jasper, the blonde male, found me and turned me. I wasn't a good son, I was a drunk that thought he could be a lawman one day. Jasper found me, an unwanted, and turned me for an army he had no control of. An army of vampires, the leader was Maria, at the time she had seduced and turned Jasper. She promised him blood and sex, what we crave most, if he fought for her, be her right hand. Her hand of death. She realized Jasper was gifted, he trained the newborns, and later began recruiting."

"Newborns?" I asked.

"What we use to call the young year of our days as a vampire. We're never most as strong as our first year, our human blood still in our system. What we were fighting for, what Maria wanted was land. Think of it as the biggest city, the biggest amount of bodies that would go unnoticed. We were the best army, she had Jasper, and Jasper had me. He kept me past my first year because of my talents, because I was the only one who could knock him firmly on his ass. We never lost a fight, we lost people, but we never lost Maria, Jasper and I. We always came out the victors. "

"Are you gifted?" I asked pondering.

"Sort of. I get feelings, where I should be, if someones lying, it could really be anything I need at the moment. Like how it brought me to you."

"Brought you to me?"

"Yes, a few nights ago, after Jasper told me of you. I came here. I couldn't shake the need to see you. I don't know why. I feel like I should tell you. I mean I was only one night, Jasper told me Edward watches you nightly. But that will stop now, he won't come near you. That I promise."

"He watches me nightly!?" I launched myself up, closing the curtains on the window that looked into my room, the tree outside of it. Then it hit me.

Sunday, I had gotten out of my shower, coming back inside working on the picture, headphones in my ears. I heard something over the music, I sensed something. I looked, I saw a flash of a face. A familiar face I had drawn, but I pushed it away to the fact that I was paranoid.

"I know where I've seen you now."

"Yes, I thought you seen me." I pondered telling him about my dream. But I wanted to know more. I also noted that, I was a strange, strange person. How could I accept all of this? This was insane, but is was real. I was living this now, I was in it, and I didn't want to let go, especailly not of him.

"I want to know more, how did you get out?"

"Well, thats when Charlotte came. Sweet little Charlotte, the only newborn I could stand to keep the company of. She was sweet, but didn't want sex. Kind when she shouldn't be. When it came time for Jasper to get rid of her, she was losing her strength. I couldn't allow him to hurt her, so I told her to run and I ran with her. We saw what else was out there, we realised there was more than death and wars. There could be peace. Normal living without the violence. So I went back for Jasper, I couldn't leave him there, besides he was my friend. He's like my brother now, no not like, is my brother. Charlotte is my little sister, Alice is too. Jasper's wife, the seer."

I smiled, he sounded so happy and proud speaking of them. "Your not frightened. Not yet." I frowned at that. He got up from the floor, turned on the nightlight by my bed. He took off his leather jack, giving my parka company.

I watched his face as he looked puzzled for a minute before he stripped his long sleeve cotton shirt off. "Hey this isn't magic mike." I said eyes going wide. I hadn't ever been alone with a boy, let alone a shirtless boy, that was really a boy.

He grinned wickedly at first but it disappeared, as he picked up the lamp and shown it over his neck. I stood up and looked carefully. Scars, a lot of them, jagged and rigid, along his jugular. His shoulders were covered in bite marks at well, even his chest."I'm not innocent and kind Bella. These represent my past, future and present. I'm not kind, I don't care about human kind. I kill people. Not innocents, but the people you don't want to come across in a dark alley. I will never go out of my way to help a human. But to me Bella, you aren't human. You don't seem it. I know you are, but your so very...different."

My hand, from its own will, reached out to touch his neck. A shudder rippled through him. My head was screaming at me, telling me he wasn't good. But I didn't listen, I didn't care. His skin was cold, but warming under my touch. I traced of the scars, down his shoulder, resting just over where his heart was. "I'm not scared of you, I don't know why. I should be. I think I saw you, first, in my dream. I have dreams, sometimes they come true. I don't remember them, I have to write them down, draw them. There cryptic and hard to understand. I try to understand them. I feel like I know you more than that. Why is that?" I looked up into his eyes.

His hand brushed the hair from my face delicately, he cupped my cheek. "In time sweet girl, beautiful girl that smells of the sun." His cool breath smelled of the most heavenly yet sinfully, forbidden fruit as it ghosted over my face.

"ISABELLA!?" My father yelled from downstairs. I removed my hand abruptly from his chest, and looked to my door. When I looked back he was gone, and so were his things.

So I haven't given up,

But all my choices, my good luck...

Appear to go and get me stuck,

In an open prison.

Now I am tryin' to break free,

Be in a state of empathy.

Find the true and inner me,

Eradicate this schism.

AUTHORS NOTE: Do you want equal Peter and Bella POVS? or more of one?