Mordred looked at Arthur in shock not believing the king capable of murdering his friend.

"Is he dead?" Arthur looked up at his knight, eyes usually better guarded than the citadel swirling with raw emotion.

"No, Mordred. He needs Gaius." The king's voice was hoarse from pulling back his tears as he shoved past the knights and continued to run to the physician chambers. The round table followed him, Gwaine looking murderous.

Gaius counted his poisons and made sure all his herbs and cures were all in the right places. The old man's hands grew twitchy and his mind restless, so he began making potions. It had been quiet lately, no sickness out breaks in the towns and villages, no sorcerers trying to kill the king for at least three days, no nobles rushing in with a common cold yelling to all who could hear that their end was coming in tears and looking as desperate as they sound. His hands drew comfort from the soothing normality of the movements and the familiar feelings of herbs in his fingers.

The door smashed open with a bang and splinters of wood went flying. Gaius looked up from his work with the sides of his mouth tilted down and eyebrow of doom ready. But any reprimand died on his lips when he saw who was coming through that door. Arthur carrying his unconscious ward. Arthur rushed through and put Merlin on one of the cots, praying to all the gods who could hear him that the young man would pull through. Like every time, like the bandits, the armies, the whole inventory of impossible situation the warlock found him in with his king.

His King. Those words made Arthur's head throb and gut twist. He shut his eyes and kneaded his forehead with his knuckles. Somehow, for better or for worse, somehow the young king knew. His life was about to change, his world was about to fall off its axis. And this time there would be no Merlin to pull him through. Arthur looked up at his friend's surrogate father with eyes glazed over in agonizing pain.

"I was a coward." Gaius didn't spare the man a glance, busying himself with getting things setup for his unconscious ward.

"I told them to arrest him Gaius. Now I don't know what to do." Gaius looked down and rested a withered hand on his ward's raven hair.

"Oh my boy." The old man whispered softly. He looked up at Arthur through sorrowful eyes.

"Sometimes I'd hear him scream in the middle of the night. I'd walk in and he'd be thrashing and drenched in sweat. He'd awaken looking broken beyond repair, scratching at his skin with a wild far off look in his eyes. He'd mutter only for you Arthur, only for you over and over until I was sure he'd gone mental. Then he'd look at me through eyes older than men I've seen twice his age and he would say, 'I've failed Arthur, I've failed destiny, I've failed my kin. I've lost my faith.' and roll over and try to go back to sleep. But he'd shake for hours." No wonder, Arthur thought as he looked at his servant through tear blurred vision. No wonder the young man went mad. He'd been strong far too long, his resolve had grown hard and brittle, now it's shattered. Broken into tiny pieces. And the king didn't know if anyone could pick them up and put the man he considered his greatest friend back together again.

Arthur looked up at his knights who had entered while Gaius was giving his speech. Leon and Percival held Gwaine back. Mordred stood next to them, features resigned and eyes haunted, his head was lowered and it looked like Arthur had killed his greatest dream. Tears dripped from Percival's thick jaw line. Leon's tensed face and his mouth tipped down at the corners were the only signs of sadness and confusion being the hardened knight he was with respect drilled into him from a young age. Briefly, Arthur wondered where Guinevere was, than decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. He turned completely to face his knights, head lowered in submission, prepared for the verbal abuse about to be hurled at him. Gwaine looked back at the knights holding him with a growl.

"Let me go."

"You will attack the king!"

"No! I won't, Merlin wouldn't want me to. Wouldn't want Merlin to be mad at me when he awakens would we princess? Princess?" Gwaine took in the anguished look in the monarch's eyes and the defeated slump in his shoulder and felt the breath leave him in a huff of air. The knight felt vulnerable for the first time since he left home all those years ago.

"No." He whispered, breathing raspy and panicked. Arthur squeezed his eyes shut and shakily nodded his head. Tears tugged free of his eyes.

"He'll not be himself. He's gone mental. Merlin's gone and it's all my fault." Arthur's legs gave out and he sunk to the floor, head in his hands. His shoulders shook heavily as he cried.

It was hours later when Arthur's breathing calmed, he stretched his legs from his chest, wincing as he heard them cracking and popping after misuse. The young king stretched his arms and looked at his knights, thankful to them for staying and offering their quiet support. Even Gwaine was still there, eyes red and cheeks flushed, eyes turned determinedly down from the monarch's face. Leon stepped forward to help him as he stood on legs shaky as a new born foal's. Arthur studied Gwain's downcast face.

"Why?"

"Because he'd kill me for leaving and going back to the old drunk I was, because you were Merlin's greatest friend and I know he'd want me to protect you like he no longer can. Because Camelot is the home Merlin gave me, the knights are the brothers he brought me to and I'll be damned if I throw away all Merlin's greatest gifts to me in my grief." Percival stepped forward.

"I serve because of Lancelot and he did the same because of Merlin. If he will follow you to hell and back than as will I." Leon put a hand of Arthur's shoulder and used his other hand to guide the king's face to face his own, he winced as Arthur's lost expression met his eyes.

"Many of us knights tried to teach you true nobility, courage, honor and humility but still you grew up to be a bully. I would watch with the other knights, the need to tell you off in the forefront of my mind but my fear stopped me. But then there was a peasant boy. He was thin and gangly, his clothes threadbare. He stopped you from bullying the servant, put his foot on the shield and told you your servant had had enough. Insulted you and tried to punch you despite knowing he could not win. I remember thinking he was stupid, I remember grinning slightly as you told him who you were and seeing the look on his face, now I realize that he found out he had just indirectly threatened the prince of Camelot with magic. But that didn't stop him, after getting out of the stocks the next day he caused a big mace fight in the markets. Than just that night he saved your life. That man had more courage than any knight. And apparently more honor and humility than any man I know. I was lucky to have known him. I would be surprised if someone ever served you with half the pride Merlin ever did and I will strive to make both you and him proud." Arthur looked at his knights with his eyes clouded with tears. None of them noticed the missing one of their number.

For Mordred had left the citadel.

Fate and destiny were closing in.