Disclaimer: I still don't own Suits. Dr Clarke, Lori, and Faith are all mine.
Notes: Thank you to those who reviewed, alerted, and favorited this story. I'm not a doctor, so I apologize for any medical inaccuracies. I also have a tendency to swear. I also don't have a beta, so please be gentle. Anyways, on with the story.
Chapter 2-November 30, 2011
The whooshing of the ventilator, beeping of a heart monitor, and the intermittent inflating of a blood pressure cuff fills the air. Harvey is sitting guard next to Mike's bed, willing Mike to wake up. The ventilator obscures most of Harvey's view of Mike's face. But, what Harvey can see is striking. Mike's face is the palest that Harvey has ever seen it. The only thing whiter than Mike, is the bleached white sheets and the huge bandage covering Mike's head.
It's three in the morning, but Harvey can't sleep. He doesn't think that he can sleep, until Mike wakes up, moves a finger, twitch, do anything that gives him hope that he's going to be okay. Harvey's thoughts are interrupted by the footsteps of a nurse. Harvey thinks her name is Lori. He vaguely remembers her telling him her name when he first came into the ICU to see Mike. He was so concerned with seeing Mike that he didn't really pay attention to anything the nurse said, including what her name was.
He's right her name is Lori, as her name tag indicates. She goes over to Mike and looks at the monitors and records the readings. Her face doesn't tell Harvey anything, so he quietly asks, "How is he?"
"He's doing as well as can be expected," Lori replies.
Harvey is so tired of hearing these vague answers. He wants a straight answer damn it! "That's what Dr. Clarke said. I want to know the truth. I know nurses know more than the doctors do. So, give it to me straight. How is he?" Harvey asks again.
Lori knows she should just once again say that he's doing as well as can be expected, but she also knows that this is not going to satisfy Mr. Specter. Mr. Specter made it clear from the moment he arrived at the hospital that he wasn't going to take any bullshit when it comes to Mike Ross. Hence, why he's sitting in ICU, way past visiting hours have ended. Lori knew that she can be honest with Mr. Specter, even if the news were bleak. He seems like he can handle it, and didn't expect anything less than the truth. Lori goes on to say, "About 5% of the population develops an aneurysm sometime in their lifetime. Out of that five percent, only 20,000 actually experience a ruptured aneurysm."
"So, Mike is one of the rare cases. Great." Harvey says sarcastically. He knows that he's taking his frustration out on the closest person, and In this case it's Lori. He knows that it's not fair, but he's exhausted and is in desperate need of sleep. But, his need for sleep is being outweighed by his concern for Mike. He's powerless to do anything to help Mike. He hates that he has to rely on the medical profession to keep Mike alive. Damn it! Mike is his puppy. He should be the one making sure Mike's alright; he shouldn't have to rely on other people.
"Mr. Specter, being negative is not going to help Mr. Ross. He needs to be surrounded by cautious optimism. If you're going to be negative, then I think you should leave. He does not need to wakeup hearing such things from a friend. As I was going to say, even though Mike has suffered a ruptured aneurysm, he has some positive factors on his side. He's young and is overall in good health. He made it through surgery, that's a huge feat. Many who suffer from a ruptured brain aneurysm don't make it through surgery. He's already beaten many odds; you need to believe that he will continue to do so."
Lori's frankness and reassurance makes Harvey take a deep breath. She is right. Mike has beaten the odds in so many ways before, Harvey just has to believe that he will continue to do so. "Yes, he has. Sorry, I'm a little short with you. It's been a long, trying day as you could have guessed. Thanks for setting me straight, I do appreciate it." Harvey says.
"I can only imagine what you're going through. After being a nurse for almost fifteen years, I tend to be desensitized to some things. I see things differently than family members and friends of my patients. I know that I told you earlier, but you can go home and get some sleep. He's probably going to be unconscious for awhile."
Harvey's heard this before, but he can't bring himself to actually leave Mike. He looks to Lori with a kind smile, "I know. I just can't leave him yet. I'll leave in a little bit, I promise."
She takes this answer and replies, "I understand. If you need anything, just let me know." She leaves Mike's curtain area, and once again Harvey's alone with the sounds of the machines that are keeping Mike alive.
He must have dozed off because the next thing he knows his head jerks up in alarm. He frantically looks at Mike to see if everything is okay. Mike is still in deep unconsciousness. The ventilator and heart monitor are at the same pace as they were before Harvey fell asleep. If that's the case, then what the hell woke him up?
His question is quickly answered when he hears a quiet, "Ohhh, Mike." He looks to the end of Mike's bed and sees Donna standing there in a pair of jeans and a sweater.
"I thought I told you to go home. I was gonna call you in the morning." Harvey tells Donna.
"First of all, it is morning. Second, I thought the doctor told you to go home as well. Third, when do you ever tell me what to do?" Donna replies. "You couldn't stand to leave the kid alone, huh?"
Harvey shakes his head in confirmation. Mike has spent way too much time alone as of late. Mike's been dealing with the damn headache for a few days, alone. He collapsed in the bathroom alone. Rode in the ambulance alone, because the damn paramedics wouldn't let Harvey or Donna ride with him. He had to endure countless tests in the ER alone. After all that has happened, Harvey can't bear to leave Mike alone just again. To deflect the conversation away from himself he turns to Donna and questions, "what are you doing here?" Harvey looks at his watch, "It's nearly five in the morning."
"I couldn't sleep. I was too wound up to sleep after I left here." Harvey can contest to that, he just finally fell asleep himself a couple of hours ago. Donna didn't leave the hospital until after eleven, by the time she got home it was probably close to midnight. And the whole uncertainty of the situation made it difficult for anyone to get some sleep
Now that the niceties are out of the way, Donna moves closer to the Mike's head and takes a good look at Mike "God, Harvey. How the hell did this happen? This doesn't happen out of the blue. Where the hell were we when all this was going on? A freaken subarachnoid hemorrhage? Bleeding into the brain? I'm not a doctor but I know bleeding in the brain is not a good thing."
"Damn it, Donna, I know!" Harvey bites back. As soon as the words leave his mouth, Harvey feels instant regret. Too little sleep, gravity of the situation, and the loss of control has Harvey spinning off his axis. The glare that he's getting from Donna doesn't make matters better. Harvey runs his hand through his hair, "I'm sorry Donna. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just-"
"I know, Harvey. We're all feeling it."
"I know, but-"
"But, what?" Then Donna realizes what Harvey's problem is. It's not just the lack of sleep, and the fact that Mike just had surgery to stop the bleeding into his brain that was caused when the aneurysm ruptured. Nor is it, the fact that Harvey feels a sense of helplessness. Harvey's feeling something else. "Wait a second, don't tell me that you're blaming yourself for all of this." Donna says this as she's motioning with her hand around Mike's small ICU cubicle.
"Donna, how can I not. When he told me that he had a headache, I told him to suck it and pop a couple of Tylenol. When he started to puke, I told him to stay away from me, and I had him use hand sanitizer before he came into my office. When his damn eye was drooping, I accused him of having a damn drink during lunch."
Donna knew that she should stop Harvey to set him straight, but she also knows that Harvey needs to get this out. He can't hold on to what he is feeling. She waits until he's done.
"Are you done?" Donna asks Harvey.
"I think so."
"Good. Can I say something?" She asks
"Go ahead."
"I didn't mean to yell at you. I don't blame you or anyone else for this. I just can't get my head wrapped around it. I was venting about the unfairness of the situation. I know no one could have prevented this.""
"Easier said than done, Donna."
"I know that. The facts don't lie. This could not have been avoided. This is a rarity. Most brain aneurysms don't rupture. As awful as it may sound, Mike is one of the exceptions."
"A rare exception? How likely is that to happen?" Harvey asks.
Donna takes Harvey's hand into her own and says, "Probably as likely as it was to find a genius, college drop out with an eidetic memory, running from the cops on the very same day, in the very same hotel where you were interviewing prospective associates."
With that said Harvey smiles. "I guess you're right. Mike is an exception to almost every rule there is." Donna smiles at this. Harvey continues, "I guess that I have to keep reminding myself of this, and that Mike is going to come through this just fine."
"That's right, he is. We''e hee to help him along the way. Now get out of here. You're not going to do Mike any good if you drop dead from exhaustion when he does wake up."
"I don't want him to wakeup alone," Harvey admits.
"I know you don't. I rescheduled all of your appointments for today and tomorrow. You don't need to go to the office, and so by default neither do I. You go home, shower, and get some sleep. I'll stay here until you get back."
Harvey looks at Donna wearily. "Are you sure?"
"Completely. I don't want to see you back here for at least six hours. I'll call you if anything changes."
A nice, hot shower and his own bed does sound appealing. With Donna at Mike's bed side, he doesn't feel like he deserting Mike. Plus, he will be more productive if he's well rested. "Okay, then. I'm gonna go. Call me if anything, and I mean anything changes."
"Will do, Harvey. Now go. You look like crap. You would've scared Mike if he was to regain consciousness now."
Harvey can't help but laugh at Donna's comment, probably because it is 100% correct. If Mike was to regain consciousness at this very moment and see the state Harvey is he'll probably lapse back into unconsciousness out of shock. Harvey stands up from his chair by Mike's bed side and leans over the bed. He touches Mike's hand in a rare show of emotion, "I'm gonna go now, kid. Gotta catch up on some sleep. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. I don't want to have to look for another associate. See you in a bit." Harvey goes to leave the ICU cubicle and turns back towards Mike. He closes his eyes for s a second, saying a quick prayer. Please God, let him still be here when I get back. The kid is too damn young to die. When Harvey is done with his quick prayer, he opens his eyes and leaves the ICU.
I know a new chapter so soon, but it just came to me and I wanted to write it before I lost the momentum. The next update won't be as quick as this one but, I already have an idea for the next chapter. Don't forget to let me know what you would like to see in future chapters!