Hey everyone, I would just like to once again thank everyone that reviewed! Also, Splinter and Leo are going to be out of character in this chapter. Don will be a little OOC as well. Just a warning to you.
Italics are thinking.
I do not own the TMNT. I own Sergeant Crackers, though! Oh, and this is important, he's a hand puppet.
Be Fearless: Chapter 2
Meanwhile, at the junkyard…
"Argh!" Donnie yelled as he hurled another sheet of metal behind him. Today had not been his day.
(Flashback)
BEEP…BEEP…BEEP!
"Nooo. Stupid alarm clock…" mumbled Don. He hadn't set it for five a.m. "Leo." he gasped. Didn't Leo know that he had just gone to bed two hours ago?
BEEP…BEEP…BEEP!
"So help me, alarm clock, I will smash you to bits if you make one more sound."
BEEP…BEEP…BEep…
"What now little alarm clock! What now! Out of batteries? Oh, poor baby, not!"
(End Flashback)
Leo jumped as another piece of metal came flying towards his plastron. He just couldn't imagine what had made Don so angry. To him, 5 o'clock in the morning was such a lovely time of day! The birds are chirping, the coffee is percolating. Hold on a second…coffee hadn't been percolating this morning…
"Hey Don?"
"Leo, leave me alone. You're the reason that I'm so sore right now."
"Don, I know that you're angry with me for setting your alarm this morning, but that is no reason to throw metal at me!"
"I'm not talking about sore as in angry, Leo. I'm talking about sore as in falling out of the top bunk."
"…why'd you fall of the top bunk?"
"Because my alarm clock died, and I was so tired, and so pissed off, that everything made me laugh. So in the process of laughing, I rolled off the bed. And then, I go to the kitchen, and all I want is some coffee. But no. I don't find coffee at the table"
"You don't?" Leo replied. 'Man, he just goes on and on! What time is it? 10 o'clock? If I don't' take a poo in half and hour, I won't be regular!'
"No, I don't. I find Mikey putting toast in the toaster. And I'm thinking, 'Well, okay, it's just toast, and out of all of us Mikey knows what he's doing in the kitchen.' But then I looked closer and saw something on the toast."
"Let me guess, the crust?" Leo inserted.
"I just found a saw Leo. Do you want me to throw it at your face?"
"No!" Leo squeaked.
"Then let me finish the story!" Don snapped. "So anyway, Mike's got oatmeal on the toast, and-" Don's voice faded away in Leo's ears. Soon it became a distant buzz.
'Oh no, only 15 minutes! It takes 20 to get to the lair! Think Leo, think! There's gotta be a toilet nearby!'
"Which is why we are here. My schedule has been demolished because of Mikey and his stupid need for oatmeal flavored toast."
"Yeah, okay, sure, whatever, I totally understand! That's great, Don, really super!" Leo interrupted. He only had 13 minutes to find a toilet before it was too late. "You have all the parts you need right?"
"Um, I found a new toaster if that's what you mean. This one's so cool! It's got six slots, so we can all you the toaster at the same time."
"Cool, now since you're so angry, we're going to go run."
"Actually Leo, I'm not that angry anymore." Don mused. "I think I just needed to vent."
"No, you've got to run…fast. To April's. In five minutes."
"Leo, April's house is 10 minutes away on a good day!"
"5 minutes, go, go, go!" There was no way that he, Fearless Leader, was missing a "movement" for a toaster.
"He did what! Oh, no way! What a jerk! Oh yeah I totally understand where you're coming from. But I think you should have thrown if at his chest, not his head. That he can hid the mark. Oh, you thought of that? On the head forces him to cover it with makeup, is that what you said? Isn't that just a tad dishonorable? You don't care! Wow. Then it must have been worse then I thought."
"April, April!" Leo said from outside the window.
"Oh! Sara, I have to go! Um, it's an emergency! What? Oh um, it's that time of the month. Cramps. Okay Sara."
"April!"
"I've gotta go, bye!" April slammed the phone onto the cradle and glared at the blue-banded turtle on the window sill. "Someone had better be hurt, I was having a conversation!"
Outside, Leo turned to look up at Don on the roof above him. He was expecting some sympathy after having to deal with the angry April, but was instead receiving a glare that rivaled Raphael's. For not only was Don exhausted for the super fast run, but all of his anger was creeping back. Leo turned to face April to escape it.
"April please, Don's hurt." Leo stated. Suddenly, he felt a smart whack on his booty.
"Leo," Don hissed. "I am not hurt."
"Maybe not physically, but mentally you're in anguish."
"Leo!"
"Guys? What's this about Don being hurt? Come in so I can take a look at him."
"Don, you're in anguish, or your computer has a run-in with my katana."
With wide eyes, Don bit his lower lip. "…should I cry?"
Leo paused to consider for a few moments. "No. Your computer will be fine if you whimper."
"Guys are you coming in or not?" asked April. She hadn't heard the conversation between Leo and his brother, but it was obvious to her that Don wasn't hurt. If he had been, Leo would have barged in whether he was invited or not. As the two turtles finally stepped through the window, she put a hand on Don's forearm. "Don, come talk to me. Leo, you can-Leo? Where did he go?"
"What time is it?"
"10:30, why?"
Don paused and battled with his shoulder guardians. On one hand, Leo had been exceptionally annoying this morning, and he did desperately want revenge. On the other hand, it was shockingly the same conclusion. Fortunately for April, Don wasn't the type of turtle that listened to the little pop up angel and devil, so the not-so-secret secret of the carefully planned bowels went untold.
Instead, Don replied, "Um, no reason."
April guided don to the couch and looked at him with puppy eyes that brought Michaelangelo's to their knees. "Don, you know you can tell me anything. Has someone hurt you?"
"Um…" Don managed to gasp out. 'Oh Leo, please hurry!'
"Sergeant Crackers, has he done the deed?" General Hamato asked. The target was due home at any minute, and yet the General still didn't have all the information he needed.
"Sir, yes, sir! Raphael has used the toilet!"
"And Master Splinter?"
"Well, sir, to be honest…Splinter just…doesn't seem to use the bathroom ever."
Mikey gawked at the parrot. "Sergeant Crackers!" he exclaimed. "Have you no shame? Splinter is old! Respect is necessary! Get down and give me fifty!"
"Um, General, may I remind you that me doing fifty push-ups is the same as you doing fifty push-ups?"
"Yes, you may. Thank you."
"Shall I position the snake now, General?"
"Yes." Mikey stated grimly. "And do it fast, I can hear Leo running towards the elevator."
As Sergeant Crackers left to position the snake, with the General consequently in tow, Mikey mumbled to himself. It was barely audible, but the Sergeant was able to make out, "…probably running from Don…"
As the doors to the elevator opened, two green blurs shot out and disappeared. Moments later, and after much screaming, the sound of a door slamming resonated throughout the lair.
"Yes!" Mikey exclaimed quietly. "Now all I have to do is wait outside the bathroom door, and barge in when he screams! Sergeant, hand me the video camera!"
"Yes sir. Sir, if I may point out that three doors slammed, not one. And Splinter is no longer on the couch."
"Sergeant, I am the ninja here, not you. Three doors slamming at the same time is like, insane."
"But, sir!"
"Insane, Sergeant! Do I make myself clear! I-N-S-A-um…-NE!"
Just as things were about to turn ugly, a shriek was heard from the bathroom. General Hamato raced towards the sound, and left the Sergeant far behind him. As he neared the door, Michaelangelo could make out "Get it away, get it away!" And, "It's on me, it's on me!" Funny thing about the voice though, it didn't sound like Leo at all. It sounded rather like-
"Master Splinter!" Mikey shouted as he burst through the door. "You-Leo, he, bathroom-you?"
"My son, get that, that thing out of here!"
"Sensei, it's plastic."
But Splinter wouldn't hear of it. His instincts were literally screaming at him, and he wasn't going to take these particular screams lightly. He couldn't get eaten now! Not when he had three sons to raise and a fourth to punish.
"It's gonna eat me! It's gonna eat me!"
Upon seeing how stressed his father was becoming, Mike threw the snake out of the bathroom with all of his might. Then he began the task of calming his clearly terrified Sensei. Of course, all of this was being caught on tape.
"Sensei, it was plastic. It can't hurt you! And look, it's gone now, okay? It's gone far, far away."
"Where exactly is the monster?" Splinter asked shakily.
"Uh, I dunno, I chucked it outta here when you started looking like you where having a heart attack."
Upon hearing this, Splinter felt his stomach turn. "It's still in the lair? Kill it! Kill it!
Mikey's eyes grew wide as he grabbed Splinter's shoulders. "It's plastic!" he said as he began to shake his father, "plastic!"
After a few moments of silence, Splinter blinked. Plastic? Then this was all a prank? Finally, Splinter spoke. "Michaelangelo, you may let go now."
Mikey winced at his master's tone. Not only had Leo foiled his plan, but Mikey was going to get punished as well. Mikey looked at his father's thrashing tail and gulped.
"First things first, my son." Splinter stated. "The video tape. Give it to me." Splinter waited for Michaelangelo to comply. Oddly enough, he saw pain in his son's eyes as he handed him the tape. To the over imaginative Mikey, Splinter taking the tape was like the President taking one of his medals. After the transaction was complete, Splinter continued to speak. "Now, my, son, you shall meet me in the dojo one hour after our evening meal. 100 flips."
General Hamato cringed. He had lost the first battle, which was not a good sign. But there were more to come, and this encounter had created a delicious opportunity.
"Hey Master Splinter? This is kinda weird, but someone brought it to my attention. Um, they noticed that you don't seem to use the toilet much…um, do you, you know…poop?" Mikey blushed a brilliant hue and prepared to run.
"My son, have I taught you nothing?" Master Splinter asked in astonishment.
"Sensei, I'm sorry, that was rude of me. Please, accept-"
Master Splinter held up his hand. "Everyone is allowed to be curious, my son. And everyone poops, including me. I must say, that snake was a wonderful laxative. It really got things moving."
Mikey stood in shock as his Sensei hobbled away from him. Sergeant Crackers came and stood beside him. "Well," the Sergeant mumbled. "Even if it was the wrong person, operation Scare-the-Poop-Out was technically a success."
"Sergeant, how did you get over here?" Mikey whispered, shock still evident on his features.
"Your Sensei kicked me on his way to his room, General."
"That's great." Mikey said as he composed himself. "Splendid. Sergeant, one more thing."
"Yes, General Hamato?" the eager Sergeant asked.
"YOU'RE FIRED!"