Meerene could hear the gentle rustle of the gravel beneath her feet and the hem of her skirt. She could hear the birds singing in the ornamental bushes and the gentle sound of the droplets from the fountain raining down into the cold, clear pool at the centre of the castle's courtyard. Behind them she could hear the hushed tittering of their chaperones, Pyra and Lady Adara, who was to be one of her ladies in waiting once she took her place as queen. She could also hear the firmer crunch of the gravel beneath Alistair's feet as he walked at her side but he did not speak.
Meerene had slept deeply following the reception, exhausted following her sea crossing and the effort of making so many good first impressions. Pyra had woken her at dawn insisting that she bathe, spend an hour intricately braiding her hair and try on inumerable dresses until she was deemed presentable for her walk with the King. Now Meerene was nervous but carefully concealing it. Alistair had greeted her warmly and escorted her into the garden but since then they had walked in silence, she did not think it would be wise to be the one to broach it.
Beside Meerene Alistair looked over his shoulder, ensuring that they would not be overheard, what he had to say was for her ears alone. He was nervous; this was the closest that he had yet come to being alone with his bride. He had watched her glide through the reception the previous night with wonder, she took to the court like a natural. He knew that she had been brought up in the Antivan court but to see her in action left him feeling inadequate. His mistakes with courtly ways had become fewer and fewer over the past two years but he never felt at his ease in the way that she seemed to. And she was beautiful, so beautiful that he kept staring at her to convince himself that his recollection of her beauty had not been exaggerated. Last night more than one courtier had made hushed comments about Alistair's great fortune in gaining such a prize. For Alistair though, he thought it would have been easier if she had been plain.
"Meerene," he began in a hushed voice, "there is something that I must discuss with you before we are wed tomorrow. I would not ask you to marry me in ignorance." Meerene caught her breath, braced for something awful. He looked at her as though expecting a response but, faced with her silence, continued. "You may have heard rumours that I travelled with the Hero of Ferelden during the blight. They are true, but it goes beyond that. I was a Grey Warden. I joined long before the Blight, before I ever thought that I could be King one day." Meerene rested a calming hand on his arm and felt him tense.
"Alistair there is no shame in that, the Grey Wardens are a noble order..."
"I am not ashamed," he cut her off gently, "I am proud of my service. It's just that there are things about being a Grey Warden that make marriage more difficult. I have taken an oath that means that I can't tell you very much about the process of becoming a Grey Warden. But I can't let you marry me without warning you. Grey Wardens struggle to conceive children."
"What do you mean struggle?" Meerene asked cautiously.
"It may not be possible for us to conceive," Alistair said bluntly a slight pinkness around his ears, "it shouldn't come to that, Grey Wardens have had children before and we think it's easier when the woman is not a Warden. We would try and in time I hope that it would work but I couldn't allow you to marry me without knowing how difficult it might be. Few people know that I was a Grey Warden and we can't tell them so they may assume that the problem is with you. I am sorry..." he trailed off and they continued walking in silence. Meerene's mind was racing, she could almost hear Dayla's voice in her head. The courtesan would tell her to reassure him quickly, that his vulnerability was to her advantage; she could gain his trust by keeping his secret and his affection by indicating that she was more interested in him than the children he could provide. On the other hand, her father's advice to her had been to conceive as quickly as possible; a childless queen was far easier to sweep aside than the mother of the heir. Even before her engagement she had never seriously considered the possibility of not having children and once she knew she was to marry a King she had expected that pregnancy and motherhood would soon follow.
"Alistair, I am sorry, you have caught me unprepared..." she said, stalling for time.
"There is more," he said reluctantly, thinking that it would be better to have everything out in the open before she replied, she looked at him with wide eyes. "Wardens do not live as long as other people. I am in my twenty third year now, I was recruited into the Grey Wardens when I was nineteen. The err... process affects everyone differently, it may be that I have as little as six years left or I may have twenty-six. Kallian Tabris, the Hero of Ferelden, is searching for a cure but there have been Wardens for a long time and as far as I know none have avoided an early death. She will try and she has a habit of succeeding but it would be unfair to you to suggest that a cure is likely. I would ensure that you were taken care of after my death but, if things go badly, you may be a childless widow before the age of thirty." Meerene's eyes darted from side to side, her hand on his was shaking; this was not what she had expected. Could he not have written to her and told her these things? If she returned home now everyone would think that she had failed to charm him, that he had seen some flaw in her that made her unsuitable.
"You have given me a great deal to think about," she said, a shake to her voice, "you are not a Grey Warden anymore, are you sure that these things still affect you?"
"Yes, being a Grey Warden is not a job, it is a part of who I am. I cannot escape it. My lady, I would understand if you did not wish to go through with the wedding..." he began, guilt rising at the hope swelling within him.
"I am not saying that Alistair," Meerene said hurriedly, "it's just a lot to consider. I am sorry for you, I will pray for a cure and for a child. Of course this does not change things between us, what kind of woman would I be if I abandoned my husband because of such an ailment." Alistair tried to conceal his consternation at her addressing him as her husband. It was all becoming too real, too iminent.
"You should think about it before you answer," he insisted, "tell me at dinner whether you wish to go ahead. I promise that I will think no less of you if you do not." Meerene almost laughed, he might not think less of her but to everyone else her reputation would be damaged, perhaps irreperably.
"I will think about it Alistair," she said looking up at him from beneath thick lashes, "but I cannot imagine that anything would prevent me from wishing to marry you. You make quite the first impression."
Kallian Tabris pulled her horse into a walk as they passed through the gates of Denerim, a small group of Grey Wardens riding behind her. She felt the familiar sense of being on her guard that she always did when she was in any part of the city other than the Alienage. It was a relic from her past, she knew that she was now welcome wherever she went, that tonight she would sleep in the palace itself, but still she felt as though every shopkeeper was waiting to accuse her of stealing and every passerby clutched their purses a little more tightly as she passed. Still it was a beautiful day and she had enjoyed the ride, She was looking forward to seeing her father.
She held on to these positive thoughts as they approached the castle but as they turned into the square that contained the steps leading up to the palace she felt her positivity slipping. A party was gathered at the top of the stairs to greet her. Her eyes, as they always did went straight to Alistair. As she dismounted, he descended the stairs, a smile on his lips, the same warm, solid presence that she loved so much. But this time there was another woman on his arm.
"Lady Warden," Alistair began formally, "I am pleased to introduce you Lady Mereene of Antiva" Kallian dropped into a bob that was somewhere between a bow and a curtsey. Meerene watched the half-elven woman with excitement. She had heard stories of Kallian Tabris, her name was always mentioned with reverence. When Alistair had mentioned that the Hero of Ferelden would be arriving that very afternoon Meerene had been as anxious to impress as she expected Kallian must be. Now that they were face to face Meerene was not disappointed. Meerene wore a light leather breastplate with ornate crossed short swords across her back. Her legs were covered by dark leggings above which leather strips formed a tassled skirt allowing for easy riding and movement. Kallian's whole body seemed constantly tense, ready to run or dance or fight at a moment's notice. Her sharply angled face spoke of her elven father but in a pinch Meerene suspected that she could pass for human. She wasn't classically pretty but there was something strikingly beautiful in her dark hair and eyes.
"An honour my Lady," Kallian said stiffly running a critical eye over the woman who was to be Alistair's wife. She was not pleased with what she saw. Almost apologetically Alistair had told her that Meerene had a reputation as one of the most beautiful women at the Antivan court but at the time that had seemed a distant prospect. Now Meerene stood before her, a vision of femininity, it suddenly mattered a lot more. Meerene was blonde, her hair a thick sheet of gold falling in waves to her waist, her skin was pale bronze and her eyes sparkled in the sunlight. She was taller than Kallian, almost all humans were, but only just. One gloved hand rested confidently on Alistair's arm and she extended the other to Kallian who bowed her head over it.
"Lady Warden, the honour is mine," she said, a soft accent in her voice, "my people owe you a great debt for your service during the Blight." Kallian smiled awkwardly.
"Thank you my Lady," she said.
"You must be tired from your ride," Alistair said, eager to break the awkward silence, "come inside, your usual rooms have been prepared for you and your men shall have rooms in the barracks. Can we offer you refreshments?"
"Later perhaps your Majesty, we have been travelling all morning and would like to get settled."
"Of course!" Alistair exclaimed, "don't let me keep you," he said with a laugh. Kallian followed him up the steps, watching Meerene's dress sway about her with rising alarm.