So, I know that it's been a while since I posted the first chapter, and I'd love to give you a great excuse, but the truth is that I struggled a lot more with this chapter and even now I'm not entirely happy with it. I had intended for it to be longer, but I thought that I'd give you less a bit earlier so that I can continue to improve the next part. This chapter obviously has less action than the last and it's maybe a tad depressing and dramatic bit I promise that the next one won't be so sad.
I'd also like to say thank you to all the people who took the time to review, you really gave me more confidence to continue the story.
Greg wasn't an idiot. He was a member of SRU, trained in hostage negotiation, able to read people like a book in order to resolve a situation without the use of force. So he had seen how distraught Jules had been after Sam had been shot. And he had seen that it was something more than just concern for a teammate. If he really thought about it, he had seen it long before that; the way they gravitated towards each other, the way they looked and spoke to each other.
He had chosen to ignore it.
It was much more difficult to ignore now, with the rest of his team surrounding him as they watched Jules break down next to Sam's hospital bed. It was obvious from the moment she touched him, disregarding the watchful eyes of team one through the glass window and bearing her soul for them all to see, that he meant more to her than they had previously thought.
Greg couldn't say it was a surprise, but it certainly made him look at his officers in a new light, adding a new dynamic to the team he thought he had all sussed out. A relationship in the SRU was not something to be taken lightly, as in their line of work they had to keep emotions out of the way in order to do their job properly. That was much more difficult to do when you had to see the person you love in danger almost every day.
At that moment, Greg couldn't find it in himself to be angry at Sam and Jules for having a relationship behind the SRU's, and more specifically his, back. It was obviously difficult to be angry towards someone who had nearly died hours before, but he couldn't help but feel heartbroken for Jules, who had to experience the horror of seeing Sam get shot and continue on in order to bring the subject down. He admired her even more for the shot she had taken to end it all, which he didn't know how she had found the mental strength to carry through.
The news of Sam and Jules relationship was clearly not the main concern of team one either. If they were surprised they hid it well, and they said nothing while Jules was in the room, only shifting awkwardly and averting their eyes, feeling as though they were encroaching on something very private.
During the silence, Greg took the opportunity to talk to his team. "Guys, listen up." Spike, Lou and Ed started at the interruption to their thoughts but turned obediently to their boss. "I know that you all want to be here for Sam, and that you feel like leaving would be disrespectful, but there's nothing more we can do for him here."
Ed clearly knew were this was headed and shook his head in refusal of the impending proposal. "Boss..."
Greg raised his hand to silence him. "Eddie, I know this is difficult for everyone, but it's been a long hard day and all of you need to go home and sleep. Your families will be wondering what's going on. You can come back tomorrow and be here for Sam but for now he's got the best care possible."
Lou and Spike, though they didn't like it, seemed to see the wisdom behind Greg's words and nodded resignedly. "We'll be back tomorrow," Spike said firmly. They took a moment to give both Ed and Greg a quick hug and took a long last look at their fallen teammate before heading off down the hall.
Ed, as usual, was far harder to persuade. "Boss, I need to stay," he told Greg, looking at him with pained eyes that revealed his guilt at seeing Sam in such a state because of a personal vendetta against him.
Greg picked up straight away on his thoughts. "Listen to me Eddie, I know that you feel responsible for what happened to Sam, but it wasn't your fault. The guy wanted to hurt people, and Sam was just doing his job, he was trying to bring him down."
Ed nodded glumly, staring at the floor with his hands on his hips and tension in his shoulders.
"Go home to your family," Greg said softly. "Sam will still be here in the morning and I promise I'll call you if anything happens."
Ed looked up suddenly at that. "You're staying?" he asked.
Greg smiled humourlessly. "I don't think I'll be able to get her to leave," he said, gesturing to Jules who was still sitting beside Sam's bed, stubbornly refusing to let go of his hand. "I'll stay and make sure she's ok."
Ed seemed to have finally given in, and pulled Greg in for a comforting hug. "Take care Greg, ok?" he said, drawing away to look him in the eye and trying to convey some strength to allow him to get through the long night ahead.
"Yeah," he said quietly, watching Ed walk down the corridor until he was completely out of sight. Away from the presence of his team, Greg finally allowed his shoulders to slump, and brought a hand up to rub at his tired eyes. He had made sure to remain strong in front of his officers, but now that he was alone he couldn't help but feel the weight of the day crash down on him, leaving him mentally and physically exhausted. He wished he could go back to the morning and have a do over; stay in bed for hours and not come into work at all.
But he knew that was impossible and he had to deal with the hand he had been given. The rest of his team may have gone home but his most difficult task still lay ahead. Jules would be reluctant to let Sam out of her sight, but with visiting hours over until morning she didn't exactly have much choice in the matter.
Steeling himself, Greg opened the door to Sam's room, defying the one person rule but needing to deal with his officer.
Jules showed no sign of even hearing Greg come in, remaining in the chair next to Sam's bed and keeping her eyes fixed on his chest, watching the reassuring rise and fall as air was mechanically pushed into his lungs. Greg was reluctant to disturb her, but he knew she needed to get her out of the room, if only to change out of the blood-stained clothes she was still wearing and get something substantial to eat and drink.
"Jules?" he said quietly. She didn't reply. "Jules, visiting time is over, we need to leave now." He tried to speak gently, aware of her fragile mental state. At least she had stopped crying.
Jules turned her head fractionally and Greg could see her eyes for the first time. They were still tear-filled but the anguish they had contained before was replaced with weariness, her emotions totally spent by the day's events.
"I'm not leaving him," she said adamantly, refusing to leave his side for even a second. Greg guessed that she wanted to be there if Sam woke or, god forbid, he didn't make it. That was not a thought that bared thinking about.
"I know you don't want to Jules, but you don't really have a choice. If someone comes past and sees you in here they're going to ask you to leave." Greg stuck to his guns, knowing that Jules would only move with a firm hand.
Jules finally looked at him in anguish, tears threatening to fall again as she considered being separated from Sam. "But what if I'm not here and he..." she choked on the end of the sentence, unable to finish the thought.
Seeing her distress, Greg forgot his hard approach and surged forward to kneel beside her chair, taking her hand in his. "Hey. He is not going to die, do you hear me?"
Jules shook her head at the statement. "How can you know that?" she rasped almost silently.
"Because I know that he's a fighter, and he's got something to fight for. You, Jules," he told her, wiping a stray tear from her cheek gently.
Jules squeezed her eyes shut, head hanging low once again. After a minute she looked up again and her eyes were calmer and more determined. She nodded slightly. He guessed that she didn't have the energy to argue anymore, and he certainly couldn't blame her.
With more effort than it should have taken, she rose from the seat to stand on shaky, exhausted legs and leant over the bed. "I have to go now Sam, but I'll be back soon, I promise. Don't go anywhere." She gave his limp hand a kiss before stepping towards Greg, who placed a guiding hand on her back and led her from the room, sparing a glance for his officer lying unmoving on the bed.
Remembering the offer from the nurse who had shown them to Sam's room to go to the desk if they needed anything, Greg thought that would be the best place to go to find Jules something to eat. There was another nurse at the desk, but she smiled nonetheless as they approached.
"Sorry to bother you," Greg started "but could you tell me where we can find something to eat?" he asked. Looking up, the nurse took in Jules' forlorn face and her eyes immediately softened.
"Of course, the cafeteria is closed for the night but there's a 24 hour store just across the street where you can get some half-decent coffee, and there's a lounge just down the hall for family of patients in the ICU," she smiled.
"Thank you very much," Greg said, once again half-guiding, half-pushing Jules towards the lounge where he sat her down in one of the seats. Because of the late hour, the lounge was mostly empty, apart from one or two family members who had decided to stay the night to be close to their loved ones. The sofas and chairs were old and worn, but at least they were more comfortable than the seats in the surgical waiting room where they had spent hours waiting for news on Sam.
"Jules," Greg whispered to get her attention, "I'm just going across the street to get us something to eat, ok? If you need anything just call me." Jules' nod was the only indication that she had heard, and resigned to the fact that she wasn't going to give him anything more, he left her there in search of provisions.
Standing in the empty elevator, Greg felt worried for Jules. She was obviously emotionally overloaded, and she needed to let those emotions escape before they destroyed her. Bottling it up all inside was going to do nothing but make it worse. She going to have to face it, because Greg knew that Sam's recovery from this wouldn't be simple or fast, and he would need Jules' support. Greg only hoped that she would be able to provide it.
After her initial feeling of hopelessness at seeing Sam, Jules was flooded with a steely determination to not let Sam out of her sight until he was on his way to recovery. She couldn't bear to think of him all alone in the empty room, especially if he didn't make it through the night. The thought made tears well up in her eyes again, and that was when Greg entered the room.
She paid no attention to him, keeping her concentration on Sam and helping him through this nightmare. When he suggested that she leave, she unconsciously tightened her grip on Sam's hand, not wanting to ever let it go. Although she was initially adamant to stay right where she was, Greg eventually wore her down, and she lacked the energy or will to fight him. Sometimes she really hated the fact that he was such a good hostage negotiator. The rest of the team didn't really stand a chance.
Breaking herself away from Sam, she allowed him to lead her first into the hall and then into the lounge, where he placed her on a sofa that had lost nearly all of its stuffing and told her he was going to get them some food.
She didn't think she could stand to eat, but she didn't tell Greg that, settling for nodding instead. Once he left, Jules took a look around the room. It was filled with a sense of wrongness for Jules, a place where people who were suffering such as she was came to wait and see if their family members would live or not. How many people had sat in the very seat that she was while a doctor told them that someone they loved was going to die?
Overcome with a sudden need to get away from the room, Jules rushed to the small bathroom on the other side, slamming the door shut and locking it. With her back against the door, she could see her face in the small mirror and was taken aback by her appearance. No wonder Greg was treating her delicately, she looked like she might break if handled too roughly. Her hair was messy and unkempt from being trapped under a helmet and the following hours of nervously running her hands through it. The dark circles under her eyes provided testament to how long she had been awake while her pale skin showed the trauma she had recently been through. Her mouth was set in a permanent tight line and her eyes showed no warmth, only a deep sadness.
Sliding her back down the door, she came to rest on the bathroom floor, where she sat with her head between her knees for an immeasurable amount of time until she heard a knock. Greg had probably returned to the lounge and come to a logical conclusion, heading her way when he saw the empty sofa and closed bathroom door.
"Jules?" he called through the door. "You okay in there?" She didn't trust her voice to reply, so instead remained silent.
Greg obviously wasn't going to go away without a fight and knocked again on the door behind her. "Jules, please talk to me." His voice was not angry or concerned but deeply sad, and it struck a note in her, causing her to heave herself up off the ground and unlock the door, opening it a fraction so that Greg could join her and taking her place once again on the floor with her knees to her chest.
Greg showed no surprise at her position when he entered, instead closing the door behind him and sitting down beside her. He didn't speak, just sat there with her in silence until she was ready either to talk to him or to bring herself to move.
Eventually she turned to look at him. "Why did this happen?" she asked him, with enough conviction for Greg to take a second before he could reply.
"I can't tell you that Jules. All I know is that it did, and we have to face the consequences whether we like it or not." She nodded slowly at that and returned her gaze to the floor. "No one ever said this job was easy," he added.
Jules let out a humourless laugh. This job was anything but easy. While saving lives was the most worthwhile thing she had her done in her life, the other parts of being an SRU officer could slowly wear you down if you weren't careful. The violence, the death, the cruelty. That was what plagued all of their minds at night and made them have to recall the good days just to get themselves out of bed in the morning. Jules wasn't sure if she would be able to do that for a while, not without Sam beside her.
It was almost as if Greg could hear her train of thought. "What happened today, that's one of the bad days," he told her. " But you can't let that define this job, Jules. You can't let it eat away at you."
With those words, Jules finally broke open, and she found herself telling Greg everything that she had thought and felt from the moment Sam had been shot to the moment she had seen him in that damn hospital bed. After a while, she realised she was crying again, and that she was wrapped in Greg's comforting embrace. And even long after she had shed her last tear that was where they stayed, huddled together against the world on those cold bathroom tiles.