I do not own Alex Rider, I do own the Ferret and Owl though.
Alex ran into his class quickly, the bell ringing as he dived into the seat. He sighed in relief that the subs-whoever they were- weren't there yet. Glancing at Tom beside him, he noticed that his head was lolling onto the table, eyes shut.
The door opened, and Alex kicked him sharply, earning a harsh kick back as Tom woke.
"What?" Tom asked, then turned to the two men at the front, "oh".
"All right," the brown haired greeted, "I'm Snake, this is Fox. We're going to be your English teachers for now."
"Sadly," Fox muttered under his breath, grabbing the teacher's chair and shoved it into the corner, sitting in it.
Ignoring the irritated Fox, Snake continued, "You were studying 'Romeo and Juliet" before we came, weren't you?"
"Druggie wasn't!" Whispered a blonde haired girl, looking at Alex. Her friend bust into a fit of giggles, making Alex turn an unwillingly shade of red.
"What was that?" Fox asked, staring the two, looking interested in school gossip for some unearthly reason.
"Nothing!" They chorused back, still laughing.
"No, go on, what did you say?" Fox urged, still looking interested. Alex turned a deeper shade of red and decided that his shoes were extremely interesting.
"Well," the blonde started, sparing a smug look at Alex, "Alex, over there, doesn't come into school. We all think he's in a gang."
Snake, not looking very impressed, replied, "He's right there though, meaning he does come into school," he pointed to Alex, who was now wishing for SCORPIA to come and distract everyone.
"Erm," butted in Fox, "Why don't you just ask him?"
"Alex?" Snake asked, looking like he wasn't interested in his answer.
"I get sick, sir, that's why I'm always out." Alex offered, now an unnatural shade of red.
"There you go. Detention for the rest of the month for stupid, air headed, rumours." Snake stated smugly, picking up the copy of "Romeo and Juliet" on the desk.
"Sir!" The two girls cried, outraged.
Fox snorted, "You got on the bad side of Snake already! Wolf owes me a fiver!"
"What?" Snake asked, confused.
"I had a bet with Wolf that someone will get on your bad side in the first class. I win!"
Snake sighed, "Christ, Fox. You're as bad as Eagle!"
"Am not."
"Are too. Anyways," Snake hurried before Fox could reply, "back to 'Romeo and Juliet'."
Fox, huffing, said, "Just teenage stupidity in a book, if you ask me."
"How did you figure that out?"
"A thirteen year old declares love for Romeo, who no one actually knows how old he is, and they get married. They then kill themselves. Romeo first thought Juliet was dead, but was actually in a coma, and died. Juliet wakes, sees his dead body, and dies at last. And probably some awfully tragic crap in between. Hello? How is that not stupid?"
Snake huffed, "You know nothing about love, do you?"
"Thank God No! Why do you think I'm single? Geez, my lack of tact hardly had women falling head over heels, y'know?" When Fox said this, he immediately regretted it as most girls perked up from texting each other.
"Why don't you all read while we're here?" Fox hastily added, rummaging through the bookcase for books. Snake tried to not laugh.
"Erm, there's this," he held up a book titled 'The Recruitment', "or this," he held up another book called 'Twilight'.
"What the hell?" Some boy at the back yelled, a girl near the front sighed and stated, "Twilight is about a shiny vampire who falls in love with some girl. He's emo, she's weird. CHERUB is about teen spies running round the place swearing and solving missions."
Alex decided that his shoes were, once again, extremely interesting. He wasn't sure if he was just being paranoid, but he was quite sure Fox and Snake were smothering grins. He was nearly right; they were smothering laughs.
"Does anyone die?" The boy yelled out again. Another girl, with bushy hair, headphones round her neck and an atmosphere of someone who would laugh at anything, laughed and yelled back, "In Twilight the dude goes mental, kills the girl, and then goes on a killing spree. Rather gruesome if you ask me."
The boy grinned at that, "I'll read it then!"
The girls who had read it (i.e those who weren't daydreaming about them and just-found-out-to-be-available Fox getting married) laughed, agreeing with the weird girl that the book was extremely gruesome, full of blood.
Alex whispered over to Tom, "Any idea what Twilight really is about?"
"It's a romantic novel; I overheard some girls chatting about it."
"Thanks," he whispered back, turning round to see Fox flicking through the book frowning, as though trying to see where the 'Killing Spree' was. Snake grabbed another book and swatted it round his head, earning a look of death.
"All right everyone, come up and pick a book." Snake ordered, ignoring the red head's glare.
Alex was one of the very few who picked "CHERUB", and as he picked one up, Fox let out an enormous snort as he tried to contain laughter. The children gave him an odd look, as Fox was fit to kill just a second ago.
"Redheads." Snake sighed, walking to the other side of the room, away from Fox, and earned himself another angry glare.
They all walked slowly into maths class, the boys flicking through "Twilight" for the killings. Surprisingly, they hadn't found it yet.
There were two SAS men sitting on the teacher's desk (the chair had been missing for a while), frowning at the maths book in his hands. When they all settled, the men looked up nervously.
"I'm Owl," the black haired, blue eyed man introduced, "and this is Ferret," he indicated to the taller of the two, who had blonde hair green eyes.
"And we're your math teachers for now, so take out your books."
A shuffle of bags, yells of 'give me my book back you jerk!' filled the otherwise silent room. Five minutes later, when they all had there books open on the page they had last time, the teaching began. Albeit slowly.
"Sooo…" Ferret started, swinging on his feet back and forth as he tried to read the maths, "Algebra? Let's get started!"
"Sir," someone near the back whined, "why do we need to learn algebra? We'll never use it!"
"Of you'll use it!" Owl said in an attempted but failed cheerful voice as he tried to promote the art of maths, "like. . .erm. . .Ferret?" He asked, coming up blank.
"Well. . ." Ferret started of slowly, "If a mad man came up to you with a gun and said 'I'll kill you if you can't solve this maths sum', you'll be screwed if you didn't know algebra!"
"Exactly!" Owl cheered, looking at them all with a look of happiness. Alex was certain he wasn't "all there" After all, who could enjoy maths?
"Sir," someone whined again, but was cut of by a hasty Ferret;
"Anyways, onto some sums!"
The class groaned yet again, but looked down at their books anyways.
"Erm," started Owl, "Is A B, equal sign ,C D?"
"Yeah," someone, near the front this time, yelled out after a silence of five minutes had filled the room. The two men just nodded their head, not sure whether it was right or not.
But the kids didn't need to know that.
"Find the slope of A, bracket, two four, bracket, and B, bracket, five six, bracket."
"Ten, sir!" Tom yelled out, useless at maths and proud of that fact.
"Okaaay," Ferret said, unsure, "what about A B, two lines together, B C?"
The class just sat there, a dumb expression on all of their faces as they tried to figure out what the hell the question was, for a while, until sounds could be heard outside in the corridor.
It was the sound of screaming escalating- as though it was travelling up the corridor to them- filled the background. Owl just ignored it while Ferret, bored of teaching already, stared at the door intently.
He was not displeased; Eagle burst into the room, panting heavily as though he ran straight-out all around the school, grinning sheepishly. The sound of footsteps could be heard and Ferret, looking out of the doorway, yelped and slammed the door shut just a shadow of a figure could be seen.
A loud thump as body hit wood could be heard from the other side.
Eagle collapsed onto the floor, wheezing for breathe as he started to laugh.
"Oh shhh-uger!" Ferret half swore, realising the presence of students just in time.
Owl smirked, "you've done it now, Ferret!"
"Oh shut up." Ferret replied, staring at the door as groaning started to be heard.
The door opened, and stood there was a man Alex certainly didn't want to see anytime soon. But having a bloody nose from running into a door did balance things out slightly.
It was Wolf.
And he was most certainly pissed off.
"Now Wolf, don't do anything rash," Ferret started, slowly backing away, hands up in front of him. Eagle just lay unnoticed on the floor wheezing and clutching a stich in his side.
"I always did hate you, but that was bit, rash, as you put it," Wolf growled in a -well- wolfish way.
"There's kids watching! You can't kill me if they're watching!" Ferret attempted, clutching at straws.
"Class dismissed!" A rather too cheerful Owl announced, smiling as he watched.
The class tore out the room, nearly everyone had a phone out and alerting everyone what just happened.
Alex guessed it went along the lines of this;
OMFG, SAS R KILIN EACH OTER ON MATHS, CUM QUICK!! LOL! DAT HOT GINGER IZ SINGLE AS WELL. GR8 INNIT? HE'S WELL HAWT!
LUV YA XXX
More or less, he was correct.
THANK-YOU!! To all that commented, thank-you muchly We apologize for not replying to comments, and shall be trying to reply to all extremely soon.
I would like to mention Scorpia710 for her ideas for the next Home Ec class, Lydia for telling me how her class nearly burned down their school and CunningMascara for her various ideas!! Thankies! I shall try to put them all in, but I'm an awful writer when it comes to actually planning what's to be in what chapter TT. Sorry if you've told me your plots but there not mentioned, I'm awful with remembering comments as well TT.
Please send me in your class stories! They help me a lot!!
Some friends of mine are trying to come up with a band name, so could you PLEASE help them by checking out my poll? They welcome all new suggestions, and the more random and dumb it is, the better. THANK-YOU!! (And they also like Vampires quite a lot)
Irish-hailsy is the manager, lead guitarist and backing vocalist, so seeing as she started the band, she gets the final choice. And she would appreciate any tips on how to put a D string on an acoustic Spanish guitar.