i have to say i am greatly amused that so many people are eagerly waiting for the next installment... there wasnt even going to BE a next installment, but since you asked, i must comply!
The Mystical Pen - reactions might come a bit later... but a new chapter has arrived... that ok?
Suicune1000 - glad to have you aboard and thank you very much for doing that! (blushes)
Jade Xianghua - reactions might come next chappie... okay? (cowers) dont kill me...
Estel Kenobi - your wish is my command... read on young grasshopper! lol
Nightpheonix - i like number 9 on the list... you must review! lol, see others will come
Anym. - sorry for making your throat hurt more... and i hope you get much better soon!
Christieanne-Anna - i shall continue forth!
Lorency thanks very much!
Erikstrulove - thanks to your idea, i am!
Cat - thank you very much for pointing that out... didnt you know they fight off McDonalds? lol, silly you... ;)
and now... chapter 2!
Whistling idly, a planet-renowned, brilliant scientist plopped into his chair in his laboratory munching on the leftovers of a brownie. Flipping out his work pad and laptop, he begin to sift through the mounds of email he received everyday since the WiFi got set up. Each one called for Major Sheppard to look at something or some minor problem with the city.
"'Fix the toilets'… use your gene you idiot. Umm… 'floor's creaky', what's your point? Let's see… an email from 'Major Ancient,' I wonder who that could be…" McKay mumbled sarcastically.
Quickly he opened the document and scanned through it looking for bold lettering and the general stuff. Finding the document rather amusing, he actually read it.
"What idiots…" the man chuckled to himself. He finished the email with a face of dislike and disbelief. "What a… he's…. ARGH!" he yelled startling poor old Zelenka (the other brilliant scientist on the planet, though not as known of).
The Czech spun around in his chair faster than the planet spins to see what had ailed Rodney this time. Had his computer bitten him? Did he fall off the chair and crack his head open? "Vhat?"
"He… me… AH!" McKay raged in penned up fury. Zelenka merely did his eyebrow thing. He had just finished an email from Major Sheppard and had chuckled profusely then Rodney had flipped out.
"Did you get an email from Sheppard yet?" he asked in all innocence.
"YES!" McKay said and in that one day all of his 'rage' flew out. Zelenka looked taken aback from the vehemence in the word.
"Oh."
"I'm gonna get him for that…" the first brilliant scientist schemed. Opening a Word document at lightning speed, thoughts came to mind.
OOO
The Civilian Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy
1. When in doubt, fire your weapon at the enemy.
... a. This works very well and effectively. Hopefully this will scare off your attacker, or at least slow it down enough so you can scamper through the Stargate.
2. When the above doesn't work, panic and run.
... a. That 'fight or flight' thing only works in one direction unless you are a crazy bastard who's brain neurons aren't functioning correctly along their pathways which results in a miscommunication between what your eyes see and what your body does.
3. Panicking is good!
... a. Panicking helps in terrible situations, so flip out all you want. That is after you run out of ammunition. Then flip out. (It works better and looks more convincing.)
4. Tote along your EM pulse generator.
... a. It will most likely knock out whatever electronic gizmo that is holding you in place.
... b. The only exception to this rule is, don't let me use it. EM generators don't like me.
5. Don't screw around with the Wraith!
... a. You know what, don't EVER wake up a hive ship or kill its Guardian until the proper time. If you do and this inversely affects us, you are an idiot and I will personally shoot you.
... b. Aside from that minor fact, don't find yourself within an arms-length of a Wraith – it's bad for your health.
6. Oh yeah, aside from carrying a weapon outside of Atlantis, might as well stick another weapon in your pants for Atlantis.
... a. If you haven't noticed already, Atlantis has been besieged by our various enemies and we haven't really been able to defend ourselves as civilians. We can't rely on the military types to save us all the time. Besides, it looks bad for us. Very cliché like.
... b. In other words, go bother the military types to get lessons on how to fire a gun so we can show them up!
McKay looked at his work in admiration. It was a formidable list and a very good one if he might say so himself. After searching the base quickly, McKay gathered a list of all the civilians and sent off a copy of his Hitchhiker's Guide. Oh was Sheppard going to get himself in deee-eeep.
Rodney took off smiling broadly and Zelenka looked at the grinning fool with trepidation and a well developed denial of knowledge.
hehehehehe... want more? just tell me!