Chapter 2
- Where things get even more confusing -
This cannot be happening…
Kate huffs and rests her back on the fluffy pillows, laughing at her drug induced hallucinations, and wincing when her sore ribs send a red alert to her brain. This is going to be worse than she first imagined, and now that she thinks about it, no one has told her what her injuries are yet. She should probably call a nurse, although she's certain that her boys already took care of that when they left.
She takes a deep, cleansing breath and closes her eyes. Talking to her doctor can wait. She might have been in a coma for over a week, but she's exhausted. Sure some sleep won't hurt, right?
Her breathing evens out and her whole body relaxes against the slightly hard mattress, and just when she's about to give in to sleep completely...
"So, you can hear me..."
Her eyes open wide and her breathing stops as she waits. Listens. This is not real. It can't be!
"Hello?" The voice asks again. "Are you ok?"
"Am I ok?" She snorts, looking around for someone hidden in some corner of her room because, obviously, this has to be a joke. "I am hearing voices, so no, I am clearly not ok!"
"Um… If it's any consolation, I'm just as confused about what's going on as you are."
Kate shakes her head and huffs. "It is not. But thank you..." she pauses, feeling a bit ridiculous. "mysterious voice in my head…"
"Well, I'm…"
"...some funny side effect of my head trauma and all the pain killers. I'm sure you'll be over soon enough. I just need -" she yawned. "- to sleep for a couple of hours. It was... nice... talking to you."
When a nurse wakes her up an hour later, first thing she hears is,
"So, it wasn't a dream."
Martha lets Alexis sleep next to her father's bed, indulging herself a few silent tears. Saying she's worried would be an understatement. She is terrified.
She talked to her son's doctor this morning and what she said was less than reassuring. They expected him to be awake by now. His neuronal response is good, he is breathing on his own - they removed the tube a couple of days after the accident - and his vitals are completely normal, but apparently, his brain refuses to wake up.
No one, not even Dr. Collins, or any of the two neurologists that she has consulted, has been able to give her a reason why her son is still in a coma after 10 days.
"He's gonna wake up, right?" Alexis asks suddenly, her cheek pressed against her father's hand. "He has to."
The teen's eyes fill up with tears and Matha leaves her spot on the tiny couch by the window to sit beside the bed.
"Of course, kiddo! Don't you know your father, yet?" Martha questions, trying to force a smile. "He's stubborn as a mule, this one. It doesn't matter how long it takes him, darling - he'll come back to us. To you."
Her acting skills come in handy in this kind of situation, she thinks; plastering that same forced smile on her face again just to calm down her beyond worried granddaughter. When inside, her heart is breaking into tiny, little pieces, thinking that her only child might never wake up again.
Kate lets out a sigh of relief, when her father finally appears at the door. The day has been quite overwhelming, what with all the medical personnel constantly crowding the room, doing all kinds of tests, checking her injuries, filling endless charts… Not to mention her annoying private poltergeist, flooding her head with stupid questions and terrible puns.
Who would have thought, that her steady and rational mind might be able to produce such a weird character? He even tried to flirt with her at some point and ugh - it's getting harder and harder to ignore him or at least find a plausible explanation for his existence.
So yes, seeing her Dad is pretty much a breath of fresh air.
"Hey, Dad!"
"Katie!" Jim smiles, leaning over the bed to press a kiss to her forehead. "I'm so sorry, I couldn't come yesterday. How are you feeling, sweetie? It's a blessing to see you awake."
"That's your Dad?" The voice screeches, making her wince a bit. "Nice!"
She stiffens for a moment, but handles her annoyance pretty well, even though this inappropriate joy makes her want to strangle its source, real or not.
And of course, her Dad notices.
"Katie? Everything okay?" he asks cautiously.
She manages a tight smile for him – no need to make her father more worried than he already is.
"Yeah, yeah. Just still not used to some of my sore spots ."
Jim finally takes a seat at her bedside, giving his daughter a sympathetic look. They spend several moments like this, just staring at each other and she is thankful that her overly talkative mind fell silent for once.
"Does it hurt much?" her father whispers, reaching for her hand, squeezing it between his.
"No, Daddy", she whispers back, her throat constricted with all the emotions "Nothing I can't manage"
Her father takes a minute to just look at her and then sighs. "I was so scared, Katie. You just lay there, so small and I…I couldn't keep thinking that if I lost you too, my life would be over for good. It would just be too much, after…"
"Dad -" She cuts, shaking her head.
But, Jim waves her off and smiles pitifully. "No, no. I get it. I understand that this is your job. This is – what you are, I accepted it a long time ago, but Katie - Please, don't do this to me ever again."
Her father's teary eyes make her own tingle as she nods enthusiastically. "Okay."
"Okay."
They let a few silent moments pass and then she squeezes her dad's hand, startling him out of his sad reverie.
"Are you going to tell me what you got in that bag?"
Jim barks a laugh and nods. "Oh, yeah. Sure"
He bends over to the side and picks a small duffel bag from the floor.
"So, the doctors were strict about your diet, but I took the risk and brought you some gummy bears - I guess one or two a day won't hurt. They are cherry flavored. Your favorite."
"Ooh, cherries! Yummy!"
Just when she has blissfully forgotten about him...
"Interesting…" he chimes in again, sounding truly curious."Wouldn't have thought you cops ate something besides doughnuts and pizza. I'll save it for future reference."
Her dad chuckles at the eye roll she can't suppress, apparently thinking it's meant for him.
"What?" He defends himself. "I saw the stash in your kitchen drawer!"
This time, an almost girlish giggle joins Jim's laughter and it takes her quite an effort not to growl.
"Ok, what else have you got in there? " she demands, nodding at the bag.
"Well, Dr. Wright said they planned to keep you here for 2 or 3 more days, so I figured you'd want something to keep you entertained."
He pulls out a couple of books she recognizes as her own possessions - Patterson's "The 6th Target" and a dog-eared, read to tatters copy of "In a Hail of Bullets" by Richard Castle.
"Patterson? Really?" The voice whines, sounding like a spoiled kid. "That guy's so presumptuous…"
She ignores the childish complaint and thanks her father, putting Patterson's book aside and taking a look at Castle's. "I haven't read this one in a while…"
Jim smiles. "It was on your bedside table. Thought you'd like to have it."
"Yes. Thanks, dad."
She thinks she hears the voice squeak in surprise. Or may be snort. Whatever.
Her dad doesn't want to go, determined to stay till the end of the visiting hours, but Kate sends him home, insists on him needing some good, trouble-free sleep. He complies eventually, making a promise to drop by in the morning before work.
She makes herself as comfortable as it's possible with her injuries, intent on spending a little quality time with a book before the evening rounds. The peace and quiet in her head almost persuades her that her little madness is over, or at least has taken a break, but -
"Richard Castle, huh? You like him?"
She prefers to ignore the voice, yet again, for some reason, hoping it will make him - this - disappear.
"I mean it's totally understandable." he goes on excitedly, oddly encouraged by the lack of response "The guy is kinda genius. Who else would get his first book published, while still in college? And all kinds of awards, huh! His fans always say he is charming. Not to mention ruggedly handsome."
"HA!" She snaps, mildly exasperated. "A charmer, my ass! The guy's a total jerk!"
"Wha- How would you know?"
"Oh, well. It's kinda obvious." She replies, turning a page of her book without having read a single word. "And... he got to prove it to me in person. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to read."
She hears a huff, something sounding close to "...not a jerk" and then, silence. At last.
The book hooks her from the first word, exactly like it's done the other thousand times she's read it. She can't understand how the author, Richard Castle, can be such an amazing writer, have that kind of depth and insight and translate it into his books, and then be such a giant jerk in person.
She met him a few years back, when the third book of the Storm series was released. She stood for over an hour in a long line, and had to put up with Will mocking her about her inner fangirl, just to have her expectations about her favorite author erased in a flash.
He was smug, self-centered and childish, signing women's chests and flirting with everyone in the room with two X chromosomes in their genome.
It didn't bother her that much, until it was her he was trying to "charm".
His "Where would you like it?" when she came up to the long signing table and the way he complimented her eyes without raising his own from her cleavage, had her wanting to whack him with his own book, but after waiting for a goddamn hour, she was not going to leave without his stupid autograph.
Kate huffs at the memory and closes the book, putting it on the nightstand and rubbing her stinging eyes. She needs to sleep.
She turns the lights off and lowers the head of the bed, pulling the covers over her and snuggling between them with a content sigh. The fact that she is so tired after the whole day spent in a horizontal position, is still beyond her understanding.
Mmm. Sleep. Yes. This is exactly what she needs.
"So, are you done ignoring me?"
And there it is again… Certainly, timing is not this guy's gift at all.
"No?"
"I just… Aren't you curious about me? Who am I? Why is this happening?" He asks, truly concerned.
She sighs. "Nope."
"I don't believe you…"
"Well, you're the one inside my head." She shoots back, rolling to her left side and wincing at the stabbing pain in her ribs and right knee "You should know if I'm lying."
"Yeah, like I can read your mind…"
That automatically catches her attention and she raises her head from the pillow to look up, feeling a bit stupid when there's no one there to face.
"Wait, you can't?" She questions completely puzzled. "I mean, you're in my head, you're… How can you not know what I am thinking?"
"I just don't." He responds, sounding irritated.
"But you're…"
"What, Kate? A temporary hallucination?"
Kate. He had never used her name before now, and it's… weird.
"Well, yes?" She replies, a little surprised by this twist in scenario.
His laughter is dark, bitter and sort of hysterical.
"At least you can come up with a plausible excuse for the situation you are stuck in. I – I can easily believe in a lot of crazy things, but this is way beyond my limit."
Kate frowns and crosses her arms, bracing herself for whatever is coming. "Then what do you think happened? What – who are you?"
"Right now, I am just what you thought- a voice in your head. I woke up when you did, a couple days ago. It's like being on a ride, really... I can hear everything and apparently see through your eyes, but I can't feel anything and no- I can't read your mind."
She nods slowly, swallowing the growing lump in her throat. "And before that…" She asks.
It takes him a second, but there's a sigh and then, "I was in that cab you crashed into. Your car is the last thing I remember seeing. And you know the funny part?"
"Oh, there is a funny part?" She huffs.
"Yep." he chirps, way too cheery for her liking. "If I hadn't known about the dirty bomb, all of this would have never happened."
" You don't know tha-... Wait. You knew about the dirty bomb? How? That was classified information!"
"Why does it matter? I just knew. I was fleeing town in that cab, when I heard your voice through that megaphone and then...No need to tell you what happened."
She remains quiet for a while, trying to wrap her mind around this crazy situation. How is she supposed to deal with this? It's insane. A man in her head? Like, a real person! Stuck in there, for no reason at all. How the hell did that happen?
"Okay, I guess you're right..." She mumbles, letting out a long breath. "Um, you know my name. I think, it's high time for me to find out yours?"
"Ri- Rodgers. Alexander Rodgers. Just Alex will be fine."
"I think this is the weirdest introduction of my life, but um, yeah... nice to meet you, Alex."
Their strange conversation is suddenly interrupted by a short knock on the door. Dr. Wright, her neurologist, a short balding man of around 50, with piercing green eyes and a strong Southern accent, comes in, followed by a tall, serene, Afro-American man she's never seen before.
"Who's that with Wright?"
"No idea." She mutters under her breath.
They have to wonder a little more, as Dr. Wright performs the usual tests, showering her with silly jokes and cheap compliments.
The man is far from funny, but she can't help but laugh and giggle at Alex's responses to the doctor's antics.
"Ok, I'm done here." Wright says after checking her pulse for the second time. "Your condition is pretty good, considering. Now all you have to do is follow your diet and avoid physical exertions. I'd also recommend you find a good physical therapist. You will need help to regain all your mobility and strength back. I can give you a couple of references if you'd like."
"Yes, thanks. That'd be great. So, um… Is there anything else?" Kate asks, still confused by the other man's presence in the room.
Wright smirks and gives the mysterious man an amused look. "Ah, actually, yes. Ms. Beckett, this is Dr. Burke from Psychiatry." He introduces his colleague at last, resulting in a whiny "I hate shrinks!" from Alex that has her lips twitching.
"Given the terrible accident you were involved in, the head trauma, along with the coma, we need to supervise your mental condition."
"Oh." She mumbles, a bit uncomfortable. "An evaluation?"
"I was thinking more of a long term follow up." Dr. Burke chimes in. "You've been through a very traumatic experience, suffered both physically and emotionally, so there are going to be some issues we will have to address, especially given the character of your job."
"So, you mean therapy…" Kate sighed, deflating.
"Yes, Ms. Beckett." Burke assented. " After you get into a comfortable rhythm with your physical therapy, I'd like us to meet again for your evaluation and re-qualification for your position with the NYPD. After that, it will be up to you if you want to continue with your treatment, which after such a traumatic experience, I sincerely recommend."
"But I feel normal. I mean…not physically - but yes, normal. Why would I need therapy?
"I'm afraid it's not that simple." The doctor adds. "As I have already told you, it's a rather hard experience. You woke up from the coma, but your brain is still catching up. Until now you've been in a secure environment. You've had visitors, but you haven't had to deal with the "real world" yet. Out there you will have to face all the problems that are bound to arise. Nightmares, panic attacks, PTSD. I am not saying it's going to happen, but it could and you are probably going to be overwhelmed by it. I'm just here to guide you through the healing process. If you want me to, of course."
After Burke's speech, both doctors say their goodbyes and leave her alone to think.
"Told you, I hate shrinks. They mess with your mind."
"Yeah, well, that's their job." She huffs, falling back into the pillowed head of the bed and groaning when a pang of pain takes her by surprise.
"So, what are you gonna do?" Alex's voice is a mixture of concern and curiosity and she thinks distractedly that it would be interesting to have a face to go with it.
"I don't know." She sighs, closing her eyes. "I need to think about it. Preferably in the morning."
She lets out a yawn and snuggles her pillow, letting her body relax against the mattress. "I'm too tired to think right now."
"Ah, yes, of course. Until tomorrow."
He falls silent for like, 10 seconds and then...
"Kate?"
"Ugh. What?"
"Sorry, I jus-"
He doesn't get to finish. Kate's phone starts ringing and she has to suppress a gasp when she checks the caller ID. The last person she was expecting to hear from. The man she had been dating for the last 4 months. The one she had totally forgotten about.
She clears her throat and picks up. Her voice waivering. "Hey, Josh."
"Huh." She hears Alex exhale.
"Kate?" Josh replies, his voice distorted by static. "Can you hear me?"
"Yes, I hear you. Where are you?"
It takes him a few seconds to answer back, and when he does, she can barely make up the words. "I'm sorry, reception is awful here. Been trying to call you all week. How are you?"
How is she? Well, she was in a coma for over a week, she has 3 broken ribs, a sprained wrist, her right leg is broken in three different places and - if she could actually move - she'd be a giant walking bruise. Not to mention she can hear voices in her head.
But, yeah… He doesn't know about her accident. He has no idea that she could have died a few days days ago, and she doesn't know how to tell him, 'cause, how do explain to your philanthropist, "doctor without borders" of a boyfriend, that you were involved an accident ten days ago and you didn't even think about him until now?
TBC
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Thanks to Tshlw for putting up with us and help us with editing. Love ya, girl.