August 04 2015
You're an asshole, an idiot and an utter retard, you know? Just how fucking stupid and selfish can you be? Just why?
They found you. They found you and everything is a mess and I don't know what's happening.
Dad came home at around eleven pm last night. In one of your messages to one of your friends you mentioned that stupid-ass fucking one hundred hectare-big forest. That's why they had been searching it like madmen.
But it was getting too dark and the stupid forest is too big and they found not a single trace that might lead them to you. So they had to call it a night and went again this morning.
This fucking morning. Dad must have left at around five or six. As soon as the sun was up, he was gone. Looking for you. Always looking for you.
Mom and I have been awake all night. She was crying, a lot. So was I.
Dad called us a little after eight. They found you. In the fucking forest. In your fucking car. Unconscious. Half-dead. They weren't even sure if you were alive at all when they found you.
A police car was driving through the forest when they found your car. Dad was nearby. He was with them within seconds. They had closed off the road and they just knew, dad just knew you were there.
He hasn't mentioned any details but he said it was bad. He said they're not sure if you will make it. They're not sure if you will live or not.
Mom went to the hospital first. She's keeping me updated via her phone. I went to her work in the meantime to tell them she'd not be coming. Who knows for how long.
They said it was okay, I didn't give them many details but I made it very clear that it was an emergency and that she wouldn't be there. They were understanding. I'm sure it'll be alright.
I'm sure everything will be just fine. Just fine.
After a while mom had to turn off her phone. While I was sitting in the bus to the hospital. Apparently wherever you're at, phones are not allowed.
When I got to the hospital I asked around for intensive care since that's where she told me you'd be. I kept asking for you. Kept asking where the hell my big brother was. Nurse after nurse. They wouldn't tell me. Said they didn't know. How fucking incompetent can you be? They have files, they have lists, they have God-knows-what but they can't tell me where you are?
So I was waiting. I was waiting for an hour. And nothing happened. I asked the next nurse. She said she'd find out for me and told me to wait for her.
So I kept waiting for another hour. She wasn't coming back. I kept asking nurse after fucking nurse and nobody would tell me where you were. I kept trying to call mom and dad. No reply on either phone. And nobody would tell me where the hell you were.
I wasn't even sure if I was asking around on the right ward. After four hours I gave up. Decided to wait at home for anyone to get a hold of me.
A little while later mom and dad did come home. Asked me where I'd been. Told them the short version of my fucking hospital fuck-up.
Mom was packing her things. Dad gave me a quick summary of how you were.
When we found him. Kid, it was bad I'm not gonna lie to you. When we found him, he was already in a coma. They said his brain must've been without oxygen for at least ten hours. They don't think he is ever going to wake up. But he's alive. He's alive.
Mom had demanded to be able to stay in the hospital with you. Must've put up quite the fight since she had, indeed, been allowed to stay in your room for the time being. Just to stay at your side.
Dad came back home after he had taken mom back to the hospital. We spent the night drinking alcohol and crying.