It's Wednesday my dudes.

Alright, so I was reading these watching the movie fanfics for "Inspiration", and I found it quite humorous how accurate my completely satirical mockery of the fanfics were.

I can completely summarize half the stories in a paragraph.

Hiccup is about to be placed in the kill ring with the Nightmare. Bright white light. Self insert upbeat girl with magic powers. Copy and pasted reactions to the movie. Movie ends. Everyone gets sent back to Berk with a brand new sparkling opinion on dragons.

This is how almost every Watching The Movie fic has gone. The only original WTM stories I've read include female Hiccup, (Which, for some stupid fucking reason, everyone feels inclined to call her (Hicca) and the only reason anyone ever includes "Fem!Hic" in their story is so that they can put in some stupid interspecies relationship where Hiccup can hop on Toothless' dick, and it isn't gay. Because Lord forbid a gay relationship! I'd rather break the WHOLE HTTYD storyline with my shitty OCs than ship gay fanfic.

Anyways, back to the story.

Stoick: DO NOT let them escape!

Spitelout: Right!

[Hiccup runs behind a torch pole and hides, just as flames reach around the corner.

"Haha LOL! Look at Hiccup hiding like a little pussyboi! I'm so much more manly than him!" Said Snotlout.

He looks behind it and on the other side, the Nightmare reaches to get Hiccup. Stoick punches the beast and jumps back to defend himself. The dragon tries to breathe fire, but coughs up a small amount of magma instead.]

Stoick: You're all out.

[Stoick promptly defeats the Nightmare. The torch pole collapses, the torch tumbles down into the village, leaving ruins in its wake.]

Hiccup (v.o.): Oh, and there's one more thing you need to know...

"Is it that Hiccups a weak scrawnfag that doesn't even lift?" "Snotlout, you're beating a dead horse. We get it, you're the main antagonist. You don't have to reiterate." Said Hiccup.

"Oh thank god." Snotlout said. "I was running out of originality."
Hiccup: Sorry, Dad. Okay, but I hit a Night Fury.

[Stoick grabs Hiccup by the back of his shirt and drags him towards his house.]

Hiccup the depressed virgin started sobbing into his hands. Why did everyone have to dehumanize him so much? His father was dragging him across the whole village like a deflated sex doll. His father gave him no respect.

Hiccup (cont.): It's not like the last few times, Dad! I mean, I really actually hit it! You guys were busy and I had a very clear shot. It went down, just off Raven Point. Let's get a search party out there, before it-

Stoick: STOP! Just... stop.

Stoick, along with everyone else in the theater, cringed at how they didn't listen to the boy.

"I told you all, and you didn't listen to me! I've never even lied to you guys! This shit is why I cut myself!"

Stoick: Every time you step outside, disaster follows. Can you not see that I have bigger problems? Winter's almost here and I have an entire village to feed!

Hiccup: Between you and me, the village could do with a little less feeding, don't ya think?
"You fucking what!?" somebody said in the crowd. "Are you fat shaming? You won't get away with this!"

All the villagers pulled out their macbook airs, and began furiously typing a tumblr blog about how society is wrong and how everyone should jerk it to fat people.

Stoick: This isn't a joke, Hiccup! Why can't you follow the simplest orders?

Hiccup: I can't stop myself. I see a dragon and I have to just... kill it, you know? It's who I am, Dad.
"No." Hiccup said. "It's not who I am. And it never will be." Hiccup said heroically.

Stoick got so mad that steam came out of his asshole. "He'll see. I'll make him see how evil dragons are." Stoick thought, foreshadowing how he was going to become the main villain in a later chapter, even though he never actually does shit, other than get pissed at Hiccup.

Stoick: You are many things, Hiccup. But a dragon killer is not one of them. Get back to the house. [To Gobber] Make sure he gets there. I have his mess to clean up.

The movie suddenly paused. At first, everyone thought it was shitty buffering, or a thirty second unskippable car advertisement, but then Clankfap walked onto the theater's stage. "Hey everyone! I paused the movie because I think that it's about time we had an intermission!"

Clankfap used console commands to teleport everyone out of the theater, and into a big room with a huge table. On the table were tons of various foods. "Man I'm famished!" Clankfap said, shoving fast food garbage down his gullet.

The vikings hesitantly sat down to eat. The dragons, on the other side of the room, were eating their fish. Everything seemed to be going okay. When suddenly…

THUD

The door to the dining area was kicked open. Another character, with no explanation at all, was shamelessly inserted into the story. The man was wearing a black trench coat, black cargo pants, and a duffel bag.

Other than looking like he was about to shoot up a school, he looked surprisingly edgy, and overall, shady.

Clankfap stood up from his seat. "xXx_BootyBuster9000! What are you doing here!?"

The man, known none other than the almighty BootyBuster, spoke with an extremely gravelly, overly menacing voice. "You're story is unoriginal, and very shallow. It lacks a subplot, and there are too many OCs."

Clankfap staggered backwards as if he'd taken a physical blow. "Hey! I said in the description of my story that no flames were allowed!"

Clankfap charged at the shady man and double backflip dropkicked his cracker ass so hard that when he crashed into the wall, he left a human shaped hole.

Clankfap brushed his shoulders off. "Hmph. Good riddance." He said like a total queef stain.

"Hey, who was that guy?" Hiccup asked.

"That was xXx_BootyBuster9000. He left a mean review on my last chapter." Clankfap said.

"It sounded pretty constructive to me." Stoick said. "Well, I have no idea how to handle constructive criticism, since I'm mostly used to people kissing my ass, so when he left a review, I felt the need to assert my nonexistent dominance in the only way I know how: By self inserting myself in a story as a superhero."

He sighed. "Anyhow, it would seem our intermission is over." Clankfap said, teleporting everyone back to the theater.

*Lazy chapter end*