Chapter 2.

If you're reading my other story: Because She Was Different. You should get an update in about an hour. I'm sorry but I wrote more of this story while I was away, and it takes a while to type it all in. And I promised myself to write more but I really got stuck and I hate typing over from my notebook… but here is the second chapter. I hope you like it, and don't get to heartbroken.

-xxx-

Rick sat on his couch in his office with a glass of scotch in his hand when his phone started to ring. He took his time reaching for it, it wasn't like he expected her to call after 3 months. But this time it was her, so he was kind of surprised when her name and picture flashed on the screen. He was past the stage of being excited about it, he was past that stage 2 months ago… and he had been in a stage of thinking she fell of the face of the earth, and another where he thought she didn't want him around anymore. He'd been in a lot of stages and now he was in the stage where he really didn't care anymore. So he let his phone ring and go to voicemail. "Castle… eumh, it's me… Kate. I- I wanted to talk to you. I know I need to explain a lot. I wanted to meet you… I don't want to have this conversation over the phone seeing how we- I mean I left you hanging. I'm sorry. But if- if it's not a good time, I guess I can wait a few hours. Talk to you later?" her voice made him angry but sad and lonely at the same time. He felt lonely because he laid his feelings out on the table and she forgot, or remembered… he wasn't sure if she lied about that since she lied about calling him. He stopped believing in her and now, after 3 months, she calls him. When he gave up hope.

But another part of him wanted her back more than ever because since that night, he felt miserable. Miserable because without her, he wanted to go back to the One Night Stand playboy that didn't get attached but somehow, when he kissed a blonde bimbo in a bar, he was thinking about the feel of her lips on his. The taste of her lipstick in his mouth and the sweet smell of cherries. And that heartache he got… it had hurt too much. He felt like he was betraying her. Cheating on her. So he never did it again and turned to alcohol instead, very much knowing how bad it got with Jim Beckett, losing a loved one, the only change was, she wasn't dead. Yet.

He played the voicemail message once again when he calmed down a bit more. But the anger took over again and he turned his phone off so she couldn't call again. But it wasn't a call that he heard, it was a knock on his door. He stood up from his office couch with the now almost empty glass of scotch in his hand, not caring if the person behind the door saw. He didn't bother looking through the peephole but the second he opened the door, he wished he did.

There she was, looking beautiful but soaking wet from the rain, as ever standing on his doorstep with an apologetic small smile "Rick – I –" she started but stopped she looked like a battle was going on in her head because she tried again. "Hi." Her voice cracked on that little word. Rick was frozen in place, he didn't know what to do or say. "Rick? Just… say something." She had this concerned look on his face but he wouldn't know because he refused to look at her. Then she saw the scotch glass. She tried to lay eye contact but failed. Rick closed his eyes and frowned for the fraction of a second before he said "Don't." with his hands moving like he was trying to stop her, pushing her away. and the next thing he knew, he slammed the door in her face. He drank the last of his glass and threw the glass at the door, smashing it, and definitely shocking her more then she already was. God, he was so mad at her, he felt like breaking through the door and squeezing her heart and hurt it as much as she did with his. But she doesn't remember. That's the problem. She doesn't remember so she doesn't have any idea why staying away for 3 months has hurt him this bad. Or at least she says she doesn't remember… He decides it's better just to drink a glass more and then go to sleep. But first he has to clean up the mess he just made. But when he's brushing the pieces of glass away, he can't help but wonder if she's still outside his door. Which she is. She's leaning against the wall, eyes closed. He can see, even through the peephole, that she's trying not to cry. It makes his heart melt and makes him angry at the same time.

She opens her eyes, determent and straightens up "Rick I know you can hear me. I'm sorry. I just hope we can talk… I need to say something, and I'd rather do it face to face." she said to him, not knowing that he could see her every move. And her voice… it wasn't her voice. It wasn't how he remembered her voice, strong, bossy but still playful Beckett. But this wasn't her. This was Kate, emotional, broken Kate. "I'll be here waiting for you to be ready, just like you waited for me" she said more determent but voice still raspy. Every nerve in his body told him not to give her an answer and just let her wait out there for 3 years, but he just couldn't. He knew how much that hurt. But he also knew how much it hurt to be pushed away directly. So he went with that. He took a deep breath in and pulled the door open with an absolute poker face. "Rick," she stared hopeful and reached for him but pulled back at the sight of his steel, mad look. "Go home Beckett. There's nothing for you to do here." He said on a monotone voice which surprised her for sure. She looked at him with disbelieve and hurt.

She felt her heart break and every little sparkle of hope was lost. "What? Rick? I want, no I need to talk to you!" she pleaded. "Please Rick!" she asked as he took a step back and she followed forward only to get the door slammed in her face once more. She rested her forehead again it and closed her eyes. She couldn't and wouldn't hold her tears. Why wouldn't he just listen to what she had to say? And after, yes after he could judge but he needed to listen to her first.

"Rick. Just listen to me please." There was no answer, not that she expected there to be one, but she knew he was there. "I – I needed time" she stared hoping he would listen, "more than I thought I did" she was battling with herself deciding if she would tell him she remembered or not. Maybe he would get around and see the reason why she left for so long. Or maybe he would get even more mad… she decided it was bad enough as it is and she was going to wait for him like she had planned in her head before he opened the door. "I'll wait for you outside" she said as she slid down the wall sitting herself down.

Her words made him melt once again. She was going to wait for him, but how long? As long as he waited for her? She wouldn't be able to do that, especially not like this, soaking wet, and hungry. She would have to eat, and change… so she'd leave eventually and everything would got back to how it was just an hour ago. He shuffled back to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of wine he had been saving for the moment she would call. And somehow after 3 months, it was still standing there. He hadn't given up hope until now, because now he was the one making the choice to ignore her.

He opened the bottle and took a large amount of fluid in his mouth and swallowed. He would regret this in the morning but she wouldn't be outside his door anymore so he would be happy (well, not that happy, but normal again) and he wouldn't have to worry about problems. But there was her voice again "Rick… please." and if he heard correctly there was a moan followed by a sob. He couldn't listen to this anymore and moved out of the kitchen and into his bedroom hoping he could get away from the sound of her voice.

She heard a door close inside the loft and expected that to be his bedroom door giving her a message. I don't care. But she would stay and wait for him. Always, she thought before she felt her eyes close.

-x-

I'm not so sure about this chapter of how it's written, but I'm sick, again, I still have glandular fever which gets me down a little. Homework… I hope I'll get some reviews to cheer me up. And I hope I'll be able to update next week.