The flight back to Erebor's gates was short. Too long for Fili. His mind was racing, working through a million different scenarios of what could happen. His fists were clenched tightly around a bundle of feathers, his face hidden underneath a tousled curtain of blonde hair. Still Fili couldn't believe what had just happened. One second, his brother had been standing next to him and the other his blood splattered the floor as the blade pushed through him. Fili shook his head to get rid of the image but the attempt was futile as the terrible scenery kept returning in front of his inner eye.
The worst thing was a thought flashing through him, telling him that all of it could have been prevented. That he could have prevented it. He should have refused his uncles order and stayed by his side. That way, he would have been there to stog Azog. Kili wouldn't have to jump in between. It all seemed so simple now. Just one little mistake, one stupidly wrong decision on his side and everything went wrong. Tears sprang to Fili's eyes once more but he didn't care to wipe them away.
Kili could die today. And it would be his fault alone. Fili swallowed hard against the lump in his throat, suddenly feeling suffocated by the feeling of guilt weighing down on him. Thorin seemed to notice his nephews distress and turned around
„Fili. We're almost there." The words offered little comfort but they forced Fili to raise his head and face Thorin. He was taken aback when he saw the look on his uncles face that mirrored his own expression. The same guilt and regret shone in those blue eyeswhen they had been so restrained mere seconds ago. But the moment only lasted for a few seconds before Thorin turned his back at him again and Fili was once more left alone with the gnawing feeling that was consuming his heart.
„Please, you have to help us! He is injured!" The elven camp where the eagles had dropped them was full of busy warriors and archers, running back and forth and shouting hasty commands. Fili's voice was desperate as he shouted at the elf guard in front of the biggest tent. But the look on the guards face was unmoving. With growing frustration, the young dwarf stepped closer to the elf, raising his hands pleadingly.
„Come on, we need your help!" It was against all his dignity to beg an elf for help, but they could not find another healer. The time it would take to search for Oin on the battlefield would presumably be too much for Kili to hold on. When the elf did still not answer, Fili grabbed the handle of his sword, stepping closer. The elf-guard drew a dagger and without a warning, stepped forward until the shining blade rested on Fili's throat.
„We don't have time to care about your problems, dwarf!" The last word was spat in disgust. The guard's eyes were gleaming with anger on the impudence of those before him.
Thorin stepped forward, resting a firm hand on Fili's shoulder, slowly dragging him backwards. His eyes locked with the guard's,
„Please", the king began, trying his best to keep his voice from cracking.
„We can't afford to wait any longer. He is my nephew and he will die if you don't help him." Thorin threw a quick look back at Dwalin who was carrying the still unmoving Kili, before returning his gaze to the elf, not wanting to show any more weakness than nescessary.
„We have no ressources to help your kin", the guard answered, his expression still unforgiving.
„We have our own wounded to care for." And with that, the guard retreated to his post, pretending not to notice the increasing fury that occupied the young blonce dwarf.
„You can't be serious!" Fili screamed and shouted, struggling against his uncles grip that pulled him away from the guard.
„Come on. We have to find Oin", the king ordered, dragging his nephew behind him as he turned and started walking away, Dwalin on his heels.
They left the camp and headed for the battlefield. Fili's hope was sinking with every dwarven corpse they passed on their way. He tried to avoid looking at them but couldn't tear his gaze away. One of them could be Oin and they would never find any help for Kili. His brother would die just as all the other fallen warriors on the battlefield. There wouldn't be a fancy future for Kili, only a fancy burial. Fili shook his head fervently to drive away the dark toughts as he tried to keep up with Thorin and Dwalin's stride. He only now realized that Bilbo was missing. The eagle must have dropped him at a different place.
„Fili!" A familiar voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he almost bumped into his uncle as Thorin had stopped without a warning. Fili's gaze searched his surrounding fort he shout's source. His face lit up a bit when he saw the man running towards them.
„I've been looking for you! Some of your companions are waiting for you in my tent", Bard stated, a bit out of breath as he motioned fort he little group to follow him.
„Bard, have you seen Oin?" Fili did not dare to get his hope up. He nodded in Dwalin's direction. Bard followed his motion and blanched as he saw the younger brother's unmoving frame and the nasty blade protruding from his chest. He winced.
„Can't he ever keep himself unharmed?" He shook his head, returning his attention to Fili.
„Follow me, your friends are waiting." Not waiting for an answer, Bard turned on his heel and started to walk into a diferent direction. Fili threw Thorin a questioning glanze, not sure wether or not to follow Bard. He hadn't answered his question about Oin and they could be wasting precious time. But Thorin nodded and motioned for him to go.
„We follow him. Hurry!" With that, Thorin sprinted after Bard who had already a decent lead on them.
The tent they approached was small and looked pretty battered. Bard was waiting for them at the entrance. Fili arrived first, pretending that his lungs were not burning and is legs not aching from running so fast. He cluched his side and tried to catch his breath as he pushed through the entrance and inside the tent, Thorin right behind him.
„Fili, Thorin!" It was Ori who jumped to his feet immidiately, scurrying towards the tent to hold open the flap for Dwalin to enter. When he saw Kili, he yelped in shock, his eyes wide open as he turned around.
„Oin!" He didn't even gave Fili or Thorin the chance to explain before running to the back oft he tent where the old healer was sitting next to a makeshift table, cleaning his recently used medical tools. When Ori came running towards him, a frantic edge to his tone, he stood up.
„What's the matter lad?" He asked tiredly, holding up his battered ear trumpet.
„Oin! Thank Mahal we found you!" Fili pulled the healer into a quick embrace before stepping aside and pointing towards Dwalin, tears once again trying to occupie his eyes.
„You have to help us", Fili begged, his voice cracking halfway as his stern facade crumpled and sobs began to shake his whole body.
„In Aule's name, Fili", the old healer followed Fili's outstretched hand to where Dwalin was standing.
„What happened?" He rushed to Dwalin's side, tentatively pulling away the ripped cloth around the wound in Kili's torso, wincing as he saw the wound's position.
„Oin, can you help him?" Thorin stepped forward, his eyes begging the healer for agreement. He searched Oins expression fort he confidence he himself lacked.
„I`ll try my best, but…" Oin motioned for Dwalin to lay Kili down on his side. The old warrior did as he was told and dropped to one knee, slowly and carefully placing the unmoving body down without touching the blade. Oin lowered his voice, turning to Thorin solely so that Fili could not hear them.
„I can't promise anything. He might be still breathing but I have never seen someone recovering from such a wound. I need to be honest Thorin. I don't have much confidence. I'm sorry." The old healer shook his head, a sad expression tearing through his sternly facade. Fili only catched a glympse from what had happened but it drained all energy from him to see Oin so helplessly.
„B- but you will try, right?" Fili's voice was trembling. He couldn't believe how his uncle and Oin acted as if Kili was already gone. Oin sighed, turning around.
„Yes we will try. But I need assistance." He looked over to Dwalin and the warrior nodded, stepping closer. Fili also ventured closer to his brother's body but Oin shook his head fervently.
„No, Fili. You stay back. Bofur! Dori! Get your asses over here!" Two figures appeared in the entrance behind Thorin. They both looked tired and were decorated with various cuts and bruises, but other than that seemed unharmed. As Bofur stepped closer, taking in the scenery before him, he swore in Khuzdul and clenched his fists.
„I hope you made that bastard pay for that!" he cursed.
„We don't have time to talk about that now", Oin retorted.
„You have to assist me. Dori, grab his legs and hold fast, Bofur hold his hands. I don't want any surprises as I take a closer look!" Oin dropped down besides Kili and began to cut away his clothing, pulling out a pair of pliers, to cut away the chain mail where needed. Pulling it off in whole was impossible at this point. As soon as the disturbing armor was out of the way, Oin sucked in a sharp breath. Fili's doubts grew even bigger. He had retreated into the tent's corner, accepting a mug of tea from Ori. Thorin was still standing next to the entrance, talking to Bard in a hushed voice.
„We can't pull the blade out as it is", Oin mumbled and Dwalin nodded in agreement.
„Can we cut the end off somehow?" Bofur asked but Oin shook his head.
„Not he blade is too heavy, we don't have the means to cut it." Oin paused, pondering the issue for a second.
„The only way is to loosen the other end", he finally said. Dwalin frowned in confusion.
„The blade is embedded in the arm but there are no spikes on that side", Oin explained, pointing towards the severed orc limp.
„We need to cut it out." Oin drew a sharp knife from his supplies, handing it over to Dwalin who nodded and started to work.
It took several minutes to free the blade's end from the dead flesh and Fili grew more and more nervous as every second could mean that Kili was closer to death. He didn't realize Thorin leaving the tent and he did not see the desperate look in his uncles eyes as he couldn't stand he guilt anymore.
„Kili can count himself lucky to be unconscious", Oin mumbled, as they had finally managed to get the blade's end free. It was thinner than the spiked end and it would be easy to pull it out as long as Kili didn't move.
„Why is that?" Bofur asked. He had let go of Kili's arms minutes ago as the young dwarf had not moved a single time. From time to time, the toymaker would place two hesitant fingers at Kili's neck to feel his pulse.
„I can only imagine the pain. Wouldn't want to be in his spot", Oin answered as he positioned himself to pull out the blade. His hands were protected by heavy leather gloves.
„Ready?" Oin grabbed the blade and gave it a trying tug. It pulled out only a tiny bit and to Oin's dismay, Kili's eyes fluttered open at the movement. The young dwarf's mouth opened, but only a strangles gasp escaped his lips.
„Kili?" Fili stumbled forward, his eyes opened wide in horror as his little brother began to struggle against the searing pain in his chest. A muffled scream tore from Kili's throat.
„Fili, stay back!" Oin shouted and swore under his breath. Kili's struggles became stronger.
„Dori, Bofur hold him down!" He had no other choice. If he didn't want to torture Kili any longer, the blade had to come out immidiately.
„No, stop!" Fili screamed in panic. „You're hurting him! Please! There must be another way!" Fili rushed forward to yank Oin's hands away from his little brother, but Dwalin was on his feet in an instant.
„Fili, calm down!" he growled, tossing the young dwarf back.
„No! He can feel everything! Can't we at least numb his pain somehow?" Fili struggled against Dwalin's hold but he was no match for the warrior.
„Too late. It has to be done now!" Oin snapped, pulling hard on the blade. Kili's pained screams tore through Fili's chest, clenching an invisible fist around his heart. Dwalin pushed him back to the entrance as Fili's struggles were getting stronger.
„Filiiii!" The only word Kili could manage to formulate in his agony-driven mind. He tried to throw out his hands, to hold onto anything, but Bofur held him down relentlessly.
„Kilii!" His scream was broken as a hand reached through the tents entrance, pulling him out of Dwalin's grip and into the cold air. Fili struggled and kicked, unable to determine wether there was a threat upon him or not.
A palm hit his face hard and the scream got stuck in his throat. Dumbstruck, Fili wavered on his feet, before strong hands grabbed his shoulders and steadied him.
„Fili! Get a hold of yourself!" Thorin growled and for a moment he looked into his nephews terrified eyes, that were opened wide in shock. His resolve faltered and he pulled Fili closer, wrapping his arms around the shivering dwarf.
„It's going to be alright, Fili!" Thorin forced his voice to remain low as he tried to sooth his nephew.
„Have trust in Oin. He has had worse than that." Thorin knew that he was telling a lie. Never before had any of them seen such a wound without the person dying within an hour or less.
Lacking something else to hold onto as his brothers screams ripped through his whole being, Fili clenched his fingers around the fur of Thorin's cloak, sobs wracking through his whole body. Somewhere in his mind, he knew that his uncle was lying, but he couldn't bring himself to think about it now. The only thing he felt was the pure agony that tore his heart into pieces.
Hello there :) I hope you liked the first two chapters of my new fanfic
To my defense: I'm not a native speaker but I'm trying my best ;)
Please let me know if you like it and what I can improve :)
Greetings, Thaye :)