Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drives me
Into madness
I know I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know
That there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to be
Blinded by tears
I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes
Lying next to me I fear
She beckons me
Shall I give in
Upon my end shall I begin
Forsaking all I've fallen for
I rise to meet my end
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
It's kinda funny, how things work out. Here I am, sitting here, and I have no idea where here is. The room is dark and rather plain looking. I'm just wishing that someone would just do something, because I was feeling like time had frozen. Slowly, as realization dawned on me of where I was, my panic seemed to rise, I felt like I was drowning, suffocating almost. A hospital!
Then Sasuke entered.
He sort of had that twist to him, how he would show up right when something critical was about to happen. Then he sort of made it more dramatic, or made me forget what I was doing entirely. I always wondered about his effect on me… I turned and stared at him.
He only looked at me for a moment before he started speaking. His face was the picture of concealed emotion. He even went so far to bite his lip.
"Why are you not sleeping? Or eating? I know you aren't sleeping, you have it all over your movements…What's wrong with you?" My eyes widened slightly. What? He let it out in a controlled rush that was soft, and almost hesitant. Like he didn't want an answer. No one ever wants the reason. It was the harsh simple truth on me. On everything I did, felt, spoke. No one ever wants the reason. Then he said something that made my mouth open slightly. Oh my…no.
"Why would you hurt yourself?"
The golden question. I breathed the air I had been holding since I woke. Then I felt myself crash slightly for the first time in a long time… the other time was with Sasuke too… I only hoped he never would see it in my eyes. I am so much weaker than him. My wrists itched and my heart was in my throat. I could feel my jaw aching. Oh shit. Just relax, there has to be some reason for this. Reason… Sasuke was staring right into my eyes, and I felt déjà vu. What? Oh. Everything came flooding back to me, and I became aware my mouth was still open from my deep breath. I could feel everything in the air, and my heart rate sped up, and my jaw ached with a fury. Sasuke… He was all I could breathe, all I could see…all I could feel. His presence seemed to almost come off in waves… Is this why everyone is so captivated by him? Even…even me? I couldn't think straight… all I could think was a soft heart beat; the heart beat in my ears, the rush of my blood. His eyes are so deep…
"Sasuke… what are you doing to me?"
It was like a dam broke, the cold rush in my gut, the empty harsh pressure behind my eyes, the catch in my inhale, and I grabbed at my middle. Why does my heart hurt so much? My eyes widened slightly more, and my breathing hitched again. He's making me feel! All at once… I'm…I'm falling in love aren't I? Falling in love… with the Uchiha Sasuke. And… and it wouldn't change anything.
It wouldn't change a thing.
And then I stopped. Everything… It just stopped. All I could feel was the lone heart beat.
I can't let you hate me Sasuke… please… I'll tell you whatever you want to hear…just don't hate me.
I closed my eyes. Don't do this to me Sasuke…
"It doesn't matter." Lie. "I don't do it any more." Another lie. "Besides, it's just me. Same old Naruto…except now you know some baggage, that's all…besides, mine is no where near as bad as yours." And I really believed it. In my heart I knew Sasuke had to have it worse. Yet…he never did this to himself. He never fell apart inside right? "You are so much stronger than me Sasuke…"
"Why…?" Sasuke was suddenly close. I could feel him breathing in my air. His air now. His air.
Then where is mine?
Sasuke hadn't moved. I opened my eyes. I was staring into his. I could only see shock… and like I was the other Uchiha himself. Itachi is dead Sasuke. What is your purpose now? Who is you most important person? Does this mean I also caused you pain? It's funny, you look so angry, and here I am, hoping for nothing, but dieing for everything. I can't stay here. You can't see me break… Because that's the only lie I have left untold isn't it? I never could stand as tall as you Sasuke…I'm always the first to fall…No matter how many times I could beat you in fights…I always would hhave fallen first… and you can't see that can you?
You've always been better Sasuke. You never had to beat me.
You have already won…
I stood from the bed so my back was facing him, and my world tilted, then righted sharply.
"It's kinda funny isn't it? How it works? Kinda makes you wonder doesn't it? How the silence is always so more suffocating and clear than words? You taught me that." A shaky laugh. A small bead of blood from my bit lip. I took a breath and held it.
"Naruto…" That was all it took for me. Just his voice… and it was my trigger.
It was all it took to make me run.