!!!!!!OFFICIAL CHAPTER ONE!!!!!

Authors Note: I opened this the way I did intentionally. It could be coming from either Remus' or Sirius' point of view. You decide. The story might even decide for itself later. We'll see. Anyway, this is the official Chapter One. The other thing is like a preview/prologue type thing, that you people will understand if you've ever read the books by Stephanie Meyer. You know, Twilight and what not.

It all started with a prank. I know, when it comes to the Marauders that's not so unusual. But this particular prank set in motion a series of rather unfortunate events that are still continuing today. And, believe me, it's been while since James unleashed that particular harbinger of torture. I'm just wondering if I'll be able to survive all its repercussions.

What was this force of all-consuming evil that dear Prongs unleashed, you ask? The only way to answer that is to return to that fateful day during History of Magic, where all things Marauder-ish seem to brew.

"What class next?" I mumbled as I walked down the zombie-infested corridor. And by zombies I mean half asleep Hogwarts students, with me the current leader of their ranks.

I don't know what possessed me to do it, but last night I pulled an all-nighter. And when I say "all-nighter", I mean it. No twenty minute stretches of sleep for me. No, no. Not Sirius Black.

I had to prove to those snarky-faced wankers, who insist that I'm always the first one out for the night, that I was the most superior of them all. Naturally, I did so through a bet, which, obviously, I won.

Too bad I felt like such a loser. That pile of chocolate frogs was not worth it, even if it was funny to watch Remus struggle to overthrow me for the promised prize.

"History of Magic, mate", James said, with an all too amiable slap to the back. He'd gotten at least four hours of rest. Even though falling asleep that early proved him to be a weak-willed bugger with no endurance, he still seemed to be the one that came out on top. A half mumbled reply was all he got from me, and then it was back to shuffling through the halls.

Being the friend that he is, James didn't wait for me to catch up to him, and was already seated when I entered, just before the bell. There was a look of disappointment on his face when I didn't come in late.

"C'mon, Padfoot, perk up! You're superior to us, remember?" He said, disappointment forgotten in the face of eminent harassment.

"If you don't stop grinning, I'm going to chop off your dick and feed it to you," I said as calmly as possible.

He was unperturbed. "But, Sirius," James said innocently, "then you won't be able to gloat to me about your domination, since I'll be in the Hospital Wing!"

The students around us began to snicker, which served to irritate me even more. Shouldn't they be paying attention or something? Binns was up there nattering on, completely oblivious to the fact that the back corner of the classroom was turned towards James and me. I can't really blame them, though. We are an excellent source of entertainment. But today was not the day to amuse my public.

"Sod off, James," I finally spat out. You don't mess with Sirius Black when he's operating on zero hours of sleep. James got the point, turning around to retrieve notebook and quill from his school bag.

I followed suit, though it was only for show. I was fairly certain that I'd be passing out in about, oh, five minutes. Hell, even if I hadn't been this tired, I would have spent more time doodling than taking notes. And it's a proven fact that no matter how hard James tries to pay attention, by the time class is halfway over, he'll be paying more attention to the dust than the Professor.

I had just laid my head down when Remus, the bloody git, who was behind me with Peter, raised his hand to ask a question, thus drawing Binns's attention to me. I repeat, he's a bloody git.

Once the two were done asking and answering, I slowly revolved in my seat, fully intending to glare murder at Remus, but the damned werewolf was busy taking notes. Being the mighty Sirius Black, I chose to glare anyway. I felt pretty stupid when the boy continued to keep his head facing his notebook, rendering my glare pretty ineffective.

With a sigh, I opted to rest my chin in my hand, and appear to look alert for as long as possible. Honestly, I had no idea how Remus could sit back there and be all studious, when he'd only lost the bet to me by an hour. I reasoned that if Remus could damn well stay awake, then so could I.

I. Was. Tired. So tired that I didn't know why I was taking notes in the first place. It must have been the fact that it was either pay attention, or be forced to decipher James' chicken scratch or Peter's random ramblings. Sirius, who could at least write legibly, wasn't even making a show of taking notes, so there was no hope there.

I was completely oblivious to the world that morning - particularly the Marauders. I did not have the patience for those three that day, so I ignored them thoroughly.

James had already tried to get a rise out of me, before more tempting bait came in the form of Padfoot, and I knew that he would continue to do so, along with Peter, all day. Sirius was a source of dread as well. If he ever managed to regain full functionality, he would not cease his gloating until I shot a Silencio at him.

So, instead of confronting any of those particular brands of torture, I took notes. Lots and lots of notes. This meant that I Was Not To Be Disturbed. I would bloody well murder them, and they knew it. Besides, they needed me to pay attention, otherwise their notes would be useless.

I was just glad to see that James' attention became focused on Sirius instead of me. That's the good thing about sporting a bland facade - I was no fun to antagonize. Unless, of course, they thought they could get an impressive reaction out of me. Unfortunately, there was full potential for that today.

Which meant I could NOT be caught unawares. I had to appear functional. So, I raised my hand and shot off some stupid question about Goblins, thus cementing the fact that I was Aware. Of everything around me. Absolutely everything.

Unfortunately, it appeared I was unable to spell that day, so I rewrote the same sentence three times before moving on to a more coherent phrase.

"Uh, Remus?" Peter asked uncertainly, as he read my notes in a half-hearted attempt to correct his.

"Huh?" I asked after a five-second delay. I was awake, by Merlin!

"Um", he asked with a confused snicker, "what're you talking about here?" he pointed to a sloppy scrawl in the margin of my page: 'the Goblins chose this particular brand of warfare because it involved the least amount of awareness and Merlin helped too.'

"Uh," I uttered intelligently, after giving the sentence my 'what the fuck face', as Sirius calls it. I then snatched back the notebook and furiously scratched out half my notes.

I was still laughing over Remus's incoherency when I saw his head droop down over his notebook. He was back up with a jerk, but it only lasted five minutes. I watched this cycle of drifting in and out of sleep for about ten minutes, which is when his head didn't come back up.

I glanced in front of me to gauge Sirius's state of awareness, grinning ecstatically when I realized he was drooling into his hand.

James'll love this! I thought triumphantly. I tore off a corner of my notebook page, and half my notes with it. I didn't care, though. Not when I had such a good idea!

Humming a merry little tune and brimming with pride at my brilliance, I scrawled out a quick note to James:

Prongs,

Moony and Pads are totally out of it, don't you think? I bet you could come up with some real great prank to get them while they're napping! Don't you think that's a good idea? Let me know what you think.

Wormtail.

I levitated the note right in front of James, pleased with the accuracy of my charm, and let it fall in front of him. I scribbled down a few notes while I eagerly awaited his reply, although I have no idea what I wrote.

He whisked the note back to me with a speed I envied, before turning back to his own apparent note taking.

Wormtail,

That's not a bad idea. I'm surprised you thought of it.

Prongs

I was both elated and disappointed by his reply. What did he actually plan to do? I wrote this down on the paper and floated it back towards him, noticing his sigh as he contemplated the complexity of his prank. James really was a genius.

I sighed in annoyance when Peter's note came poking up in front of me. Honestly, there was no point in telling him, he couldn't actually help, anyway.

I didn't say this to him, though. I chose instead to write an abbreviated version of my newly hatched scheme, basking in Peter's all-too-obvious approval in the form of stifled snickers from behind me.

When Peter's note drited up to me again, I opened it with a half-arsed attempt at patronization.

Wow, Prongs! That's brilliant! Bloody brilliant, actually!

You know what might be even better? I mean, if you think so.

But, wouldn't it be funny if it was about each other?

I grinned maniacally at Peter's addition to the plan, thoroughly commending his genius, while quietly marveling at his attempt to speak up. I mean, the kid wasn't half as bad when he actually thought independently.

I quit thinking about Peter as the possibilities of his suggestion crystalized into one clear-cut prank. Yeah, I really was bloody brilliant.

Oh, they will be scarred, I thought with a devious smirk, before beginning my charm.