The Meaning of Family
Chapter Two
Naruto Uzumaki had the best family ever.
Those who didn't have a surname got one just like his —meaning they were family— and those who didn't have a surname like his but lived with him were family anyway. It was so cool.
He had two older sisters —Shizune and Anko— who looked the opposite of one another. He had two cool older brothers —Kakashi and Yamato— who were, once more, the opposite of one another. He had two cool grandfathers who were, yet again, the opposite of one another. He had a very cool grandmother who could destroy stuff with her fists, and he had a brother, who was a bit of a duck-ass but clearly it was because there was enough 'cool' in the family his own coolness wasn't required.
The mornings in the Uzumaki household —or 'Family of Madmen and Madwomen' as some neighbors called them, which once more was a cool nickname— started pretty much the same.
Grandfather Danzo woke up early. He trained in the backyard until breakfast time, talking to himself most of the time —Naruto had checked, really, maybe his grandfather needed to chill a bit if he thought the bushes needed 'trimming' and the 'shadows' required a bit of working on.
It wasn't as if you could make a shadow your enemy, no?
Still, the ones who woke up next were always big brother Kakashi and Yamato. They actually had work most of the time, and they wore cool masks to boot —one day, he was going to get a cool mask too. After them, it was the turn of big sister Shizune.
She proceeded to prepare breakfast for everyone, before waking him and Sasuke up. Then, of course, it was big sister Anko's turn to wake up.
That normally ended within the next ten minutes, with wicked skills in needle throwing and yelps depending on who was on the receiving end of the attack.
It was very cool.
Frankly, Naruto knew the people around him weren't his real family —no one had ties of blood with him— but he didn't care. He had a wonderful family.
He loved it very much.
It was a crisp and breezy winter morning that saw both him and Sasuke head off to school. Normally, he'd whine up a storm, but on that day they were going to practice throwing weapons, and so he was actually eager to go to school.
Maybe he'd get to participate in the morning 'games' between Anko and Shizune, throwing his own needles in the mix!
Unknown to Naruto, Anko, Yamato and Kakashi shadowed both him and Sasuke.
After the attempt at the Hyuga heiress' kidnapping, security had increased around 'key' figures; namely, the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki and the last of the Uchiha.
They took shifts, of course, because —obviously— no one sane of his or hers mind would ever follow Naruto for an entire day without breaks. He would run rather than walk, he would dash up and down Konoha without a care in the world, laughing loudly like a bundle of joy. On the positive side, he dressed in glaring neon orange and nobody had taught him the Henge yet, so it was still easy to find him when he got 'lost'.
The people around the street were always happy to see him. They talked of how good of a boy he was, and how he was such a kind-hearted kid to help around.
Because Naruto Uzumaki was a perfectly normal orphan boy, and his escort went unseen —or when seen, people mistook it for the Uchiha's escort rather than Naruto's.
Only few people knew who the Jinchuuriki of Konoha was, and that was because, frankly, Hiruzen had the brilliant idea to keep quiet on the 'status' of the Jinchuuriki-weapon. It wasn't like he had the intention of making Naruto a weapon, but if the enemy didn't know whether the Jinchuuriki was field-able or not, then they wouldn't attack out of fear of retaliation.
Hiruzen gazed from his crystal sphere in his office how life went by peacefully thanks to his brilliant ideas, how everyone was truly happy of the arrangements and how nothing could possibly go wrong…
That was when the teacup on his desk cracked.
Hiruzen took a deep unsettling breath.
Naruto Uzumaki didn't like school very much. On one side, he was a little bit jealous that Sasuke got all the attentions from the females in the classroom, on the other, he was angry that Sasuke never actually returned them.
"Can't you just, you know, pick one?" Naruto said suddenly, making Sasuke raise an eyebrow in his direction. "Just pick one, tell her you think she's cute or something like that, and they'll leave you alone."
"I tried that, idiot," Sasuke replied.
"Oh," Naruto blinked. "And what happened next?"
"I told her she had pretty hair. The other girls took fistfuls of it and made her go back home bald."
Naruto shuddered. "You have very, very creepy fan girls."
"I know;" Sasuke acquiesced. "But if they coo after the last heir of a powerful clan, who no longer has any family left and is extremely bitter, then they cannot be completely sane of mind, right?"
"You know what," Naruto remarked. "Maybe you should try confessing to a boy. See how that goes down."
"I already tried that," Sasuke replied once more, perfectly calm.
"Do I want to know how that went?" Naruto nervously chuckled. "And why the hell didn't I know about that!?"
"You come to school fewer times than me. I get bored, and so I try new ways to fend off my fan girls without you around."
Naruto whined, slamming his head against the desk of the classroom.
"So? Who did you confess to?"
"The teacher Mizuki," Sasuke said calmly.
"The teacher? Come on! You can't confess to a teacher."
"He tried to make me steal the forbidden scroll," Sasuke continued. "That's why I went to the Hokage and told him everything."
"Wait, is that why we had cake a few weeks back?"
"Exactly," Sasuke acquiesced. "I thought you remembered the reason for that. You know, the Hokage even asked me if I wanted to graduate early."
"What!? No fair! I need to try to confess to a teacher too then! And then what happened? Why did you refuse?"
Sasuke raised an eyebrow and looked at Naruto. "Because you barely come to school with me here and if I go, who the hell is going to get you in here in time for class?"
Naruto looked at Sasuke with glittering eyes and beautiful sparkles around his face. "Sasuke! You're a bro! I knew you were a true friend to me!"
Sasuke threw a rubber band at Naruto's forehead, making him wince and lose the sparkles. "Ouch! What was that for!?"
"After the confession, the fan girls began publishing Man on Man comics. I refuse to have you as a possible 'Uke' or 'Seme'. Get the hell out of the Bishoujo persona right now, before I beat the crap out of you."
Naruto pouted.
Sasuke sighed.
The attendance rate of Naruto increased after that day…much to Iruka's surprise.
Just like Naruto's confession to him.
And Sasuke face-planting on the floor with a loud scream of 'IDIOT!'
Author's notes
Fluffy filled chapters.
Fluffy filled everything.
Fill you with fluff until you explode.
FLUFF. FLUFF. GET IT HERE. FRESH AND WARM AND FLUFFY.
MWUAHMWUAHMWUAH FLUFFFFFFFF.
