The Poster Incident
Despite the INCREDIBLE lack of reviews from my last story, I still have an INSANE URGE to type up all this crap and publish it online.
Here we have a pointless little story about Toad and Wanda. Yeah, I'm a rabid Toad fan. Leave me alone.
Blob sat on the sofa, next to a quickly diminishing pile of sandwiches that had presumably been quite large at one time. Now he was down to about four.
Toad watched his team mate absently, not really having anything better to do. Normally, this would have been quite harmless, but on this particular occasion, Toad was beginning to get ideas. Good ones, too. Or so they seemed at the time.
At any rate, he didn't waste much more time watching Blob stuff his face. Instead he quite literally hopped off to the nearest broadband internet connection and quickly found what he was looking for on e-Bay.
A week and his entire life savings of $52 and a few paperclips later, it arrived.
What was it? Why, a life-sized poster of himself, of course. All hail the giant Toad poster. (By the way, if you guys ever find one of these in real life, my birthday is March 23rd. Hint-hint.)
He allowed himself an evil little chuckle, and ran off to find the Scarlet Witch. He soon discovered her in the sitting room, trying her hardest to look sexy-yet-unobtainable while reading a copy of Crackwhore Weekly.
"Wanda! Wanda-Wanda-Wanda-Wanda-WANDA!"
"What do you want?"
"Eat this poster of me!"
"…What? …Why?"
"…So I can be inside you."
He was promptly hex-bolted through an open window.
Ah well, seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know you love Toad and his sad little obsession with the one woman on Earth who'll love anyone but him. Always chasing the dream train, he is. Gotta admire it.
Review, please. I'll give you candy.