You're Not Sorry

BPOV

He broke my heart a week ago.
A week it had taken to break up over 6 months of trust and a lifetime of friendship.

'Finally to finish work early is so good.' I thought to myself, throwing my bag into the truck and climbing in to start the roaring engine, as much as I loved working at the coffee/bookshop, with my manager leaving to have her second child, I was practically running the place.
I let the heater heat my truck up and decided to text Alice.

Hey Ali, I'm off work early.
Want to do something for lunch?
x B x

I waited for the truck to heat up a bit before I began to drive to my apartment, which was only a twenty minute drive away from the store in Seattle.

I was going to text Edward as soon as I pulled into the drive but decided against it, he would still be at work and I didn't want to disturb him since he's just got the new job at the law firm.
I dragged my bag out beside me and shut my door, locking it behind me.
I had already fished out my keys, eager to just be home already and unlocked the back door, into the kitchen, shrugged my coat off and dropped it on the table, along with my bag.
I thought it was weird that Alice hadn't text me back by now.
I checked my phone.No New Messages.I decided on ringing her instead, she can't be that busy.

'Hello.' Alice answered.
'Hey Alice, didn't you get my text?'
'Oh sorry Bella, I haven't checked my phone today, the shop was really busy up until now. I was wondering do you want lunch?' I laughed Alice always knew why I called.
'Yes, Costa in about twenty minutes?' Alice agreed and I raced upstairs to change and tidy myself up.

After meeting Alice, we decided on going on a bit of a retail therapy, after much persuasion on her part but I did need some new clothes and have my eye on some things.

As we were passing the main square, a sight caught my eye and at first I thought I was imagining it, until I double-checked, it broke my heart.

In the restaurant of our very first date, sat right by the window, were Edward and his new assistant Tanya. At first I told myself that it was just lunch plans, talking about a meeting they probably had this morning but when he reached over his hand to cup her cheek and pull her towards him… I couldn't even look anymore.
My heart broke; there was really no use in telling myself that could be explained.
I left Alice and turned the other way, tears rolling down my cheeks as I practically ran back to my car.

I can't really remember the drive home but as soon as I got in, I stormed through my apartment, taking everything of his and putting it at a bag, by the front door. After I confronted him that night, I haven't tried speaking to him since, even Alice, his own sister hasn't heard from him for a week because she can't stand to talk to him. Emmett explained that he couldn't ignore him; they've been best friends for years and after telling him I understood, I couldn't ruin his friendship just because our relationship was over and the same for Jasper.

All week he had been calling me, texting me, left countless voicemails, wrote letters, asked my brother about me, been to my workplace. He even sent me emails on Facebook. It took all my strength to not answer, I couldn't and Alice and Rosalie wouldn't let me either, because we all know I would take him back without even asking him why he did it, without a blink of an eye I'd let him back in and it could happen all over again. Even the night of the 'confrontation' I couldn't bring myself to shout at him, it killed me to even kick him out.

'Bella?' Alice knocked on my bedroom door.
'Bella?' I rolled over out of my bed, I had been hiding in, she gasped taking in my matted hair and tear stained face and the same pyjamas I had on the past 4 nights.
'I will kill him.' She growled through her teeth.
'Alice.' I whined, I didn't want to cause tension between her and Edward, they were family. I could never do that but Alice refused to talk to him.
'No Bella. This is wrong. You shouldn't be like this.' She came and stroked my hair down.
'Go jump in the shower. Rose is coming over and we're going to have a fun day. Just us girls.' I moaned again but stretched out my aching bones, trudged to the bathroom to get a nice hot shower.

After the shower, I did feel somewhat better and I even let Alice and Rosalie do my hair and makeup. As we were in the bathroom, I could hear my phone buzz in the other room, when I went to check it out;

Missed Calls: Emmett, Edward x (3)
Voicemail (1)

I dialled my voicemail number and it told me one new message. I hesitated; did I really want to hear what he had to say this time?
'Bella I am the last person you would want to hear from right now, I get it but please, please talk to me, contact me anyway, I can't. I can't do this. I'm in love with you Bella. I always will be. It's always been YOU and only ever will be YOU. I love you with my whole heart. I am so sorry.' Tears made their way down my cheeks, yet again.

'Bella, put it down.' Rosalie demanded and I hit the end call button, I hadn't even heard her come into the room.
'Rose...' My sobs had started to tighten my throat and I found it hard to breathe then I heard him again.

'BELLA!' he yelled. 'BELLA, IT'S ME!' I could feel my heart been pulled to go downstairs and let him in and hug him, tell him it's alright and I forgive him, but the trust had been broken and I didn't know whether he would do it again.
I took several calming breaths and turned to Alice and Rosalie.
'My idiot of a brother will be done for I swear wait until I get my hands on him I will –' then Alice's voice floated into the background because all I heard was pounding on the door below.

On the third set of bangs I couldn't take it, I headed for the door.
I stood debating what to do. Open it and forgive him, take him back, or leave it and leave him for good?
I sat in front of my door, my head resting against the wood.

'Please.' He pleaded. I could hear how broken he was, neither of us wanted to let this go, he must really have felt bad about it. Maybe I had misunderstood the situation.
I heard him talking with Jazz and Emmett, then a faint 'I love you.' Then silence.
'But you're not actually sorry.' I whispered back.

At least he wasn't on his own tonight.
I waited until I couldn't hear them anymore and then pulled the door open. I sat on the step outside, my head in my hands, shaking from the sobs building up.

'Bella are you okay?' a soft, friendly voice came from next door.
'Bella?' He came and gently lifted my head up from my knees.
'Pretty girls shouldn't cry.' He whispered and rubbed my back soothingly, calming down my sobs.

'Thank you Brandon.' I mumbled and once I had calmed down and being invited over whenever I wanted, Brandon helped me up and I shuffled my way back up the stairs to Alice and Rosalie.