Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warning: This is yaoi. And silly, verging on crack.
Summary: Shiyuma is a family man. But he'd rather be out killing Soviets.
When Sena was five, he brought a preschool classmate named Tesshou home with him and Shiyuma got a taste of what the next thirteen years were going to be like.
This was also when his hair began thinning. Shiyuma did not believe in coincidence.
He realized that it was fundamentally irrational to dislike a six-year-old for his behavior, but goddamn, what a brat. Loud and obnoxious, even then. Not quite so foul-mouthed—he was six—but just as demanding and noisy as he would be later. Was there anything in the house that Tesshou didn't throw? Didn't break? Shiyuma, home after a long, boring day of analyzing Chinese farming equipment—troop—transport numbers, struggled to hold on to his calm behind his daily newspaper and cup of tea while his wife tried to feed the two boys and Tesshou carried on a long, one-sided, very loud conversation with who he probably thought was Sena but actually wasn't anyone in particular.
"Sena, we're gonna grow up together and go to the same high school!"
"Un," Sena would say good-naturedly. Everything Sena did was good-natured. And quiet.
"And we'll be nakama, and I get to be boss but you can be my otouto, and I won't let anyone push you in the back like them stupid Muroto jerks today—"
Both Shiyuma and Mihae paused.
"—and it's gonna be good!"
"Un," said Sena around a mouthful of pudding.
Tesshou looked at Sena and Shiyuma was dismayed to see what was clearly sheer adoration in that brat's eyes. Mihae thought it was the cutest thing ever. She doted over both of them, giving them Sena's box of toys to play with before she tended to the wash-up. Sena was playing with his family of rabbit dolls (but Mihae, why?) and Tesshou watched Sena play with his rabbit dolls and Shiyuma watched Tesshou watch Sena play with his rabbit dolls.
"Ne, Sena-chan," said Tesshou. He was lying on his stomach, propped up on his elbows. "When we're both big, you wanna marry me?"
Shiyuma nearly spit out his tea.
"Un," said Sena, walking Mother Rabbit and Father Rabbit to a picture of a carrot field he'd drawn with his crayons.
Tesshou grinned widely enough to show all his missing baby teeth. Then he got to his knees and took Sena's hands in his.
"I'll be the coolest husband ever, Sena-chan," he promised.
Sena stuck out his bottom lip as he looked at his rabbit dolls, which he'd been forced to drop. "Fell," he observed sadly.
Tesshou helped Sena arrange his rabbit dolls into a family picnic. Shiyuma tried to get his eye to stop twitching.
When Tesshou's mother came to get him that night, he threw a tantrum to end all tantrums. Shiyuma had seen waterboardings go more smoothly. Tesshou clung to Sena, wouldn't let go, and then tried to take Sena with him.
"Nooo," Tesshou howled. "Sena-chan! Nooo! I gotta stay with Sena-chan!"
Kawachi-san was terribly embarrassed. "I don't know why he's being like this," she kept repeating. "I'm so sorry, I'm—Tesshou! Let go of Sena-chan this—"
Sena didn't get upset at all. He kept patting Tesshou on his cheek, telling him, "Night, Shou-chan! Tomorrow, Shou-chan!" When Tesshou clung to his neck, Sena laughed and patted him on the back.
Finally, Kawachi-san managed to get Tesshou outside and into the car. Shiyuma watched Tesshou's little fists banging on the window all the way down the street and around the corner.
"Dear," he said then, to Mihae, who was holding a drowsing Sena, "I just want you to know that our son might be slightly stupid."
"Yes, dear," said Mihae, not batting an eye. She'd reacted the same way when he told her the Soviets might be trying to kill him. How Shiyuma loved her.
"And this is just a feeling I have," he added, "but we may be having some trouble with boys later."
"I see you haven't met Guri-kun," said Mihae.
"What?"
"Nothing, dear."
Shiyuma wasn't so petty as to hold a grudge against a six-year-old. That was nonsense. But if Kawachi-san's husband happened to abruptly receive a promotion that involved immediate transfer to an office in a different city and the Kawachis ended up having to move quite suddenly only a week later, well. Shiyuma could hardly be blamed for savoring the peace and quiet.
Shiyuma, 1. Six-year-old, 0.
The week after that, Shiyuma set himself to the task of teaching Sena about personal space and who was and who wasn't allowed to be in it. Mother Rabbit and Father Rabbit did what they could to help.
He had a sinking feeling that it wasn't going to be nearly enough.