BA decided Face would be the best one to approach. This wasn't going to be fun for anybody, but it would be marginally less painful if BA had this conversation with an actual person rather than a sock puppet intermediary. Why, he lamented with a familiar sense of martyrdom, couldn't his friends be normal?
Before cornering Face by the pool in their current scammed house (of course Face would consider a pool an "essential"), BA made a run to the liquor store down the road. If he had to do this, he was damn well gonna do it with beers.
Said beers were now either bubbling away in his stomach unpleasantly, clenched in his and Face's hands or resting within easy reach in the cooler. BA had downed two in the kitchen before telling himself to man up and trudging to the deck chair beside Face, thrusting a beer at him resentfully. Face didn't seem to notice BA's unusually sullen demeanour and had accepted the beer with a nod of thanks.
"Something on your mind, big guy?" Face asked, taking a swig. Okay, so maybe he noticed something.
BA grunted. This was already not going the way he wanted it to. He needed to be on the offensive: If Face started twisting the conversation and doing that stupid silver tongued thing he did, they'd get off track and BA was sure as hell not gonna try this again.
"We been out of the Army nearly a year," BA replied, ignoring the question. There was an order he wanted to say things in. He'd memorised the dot points beforehand.
Face nodded again. "Yep." He raised his beer in a mock toast before taking another pull.
"Lots of stuff's changed," BA continued resolutely, not looking at his friend. "I know we still act like we're in the Army most of the time, but we're not. Some ways, we got more freedom."
Normally, Face would have laughed and made a flippant remark about the fugitive lifestyle hardly being a free one, occasional poolside sunbakes notwithstanding. This time, he took in BA's pursed lips and clear discomfort and realised his friend had something serious he wanted to say. "How do you figure?" Face asked instead.
BA shrugged. He'd hoped that Face would have picked up on it at that point by doing that annoying mind-ready thing he did sometimes. Trust Pretty Boy to never use his powers to make anyone else's life easier. "Army's got rules for a lot of things. Some things that ain't anyone else's business." He cleared his throat and rolled the beer bottle between his hands. In his peripheral vision, he could see that Face had gone very still. "I reckon now that it's just us, we don't have to stick with that bullshit no more. Been a hard year for all of us. We find something that makes it a little easier, well, I don't think there's any shame in it, wherever it comes from."
He forced himself to look Face in the eye. The conman had gone unusually white under his tan but his expression revealed nothing. "Point is," BA continued, words coming easier now that he could see the finish line approaching, "We're all family. Been that way for a long time. If you're worried about the dynamics, you don't gotta be. We're stronger than that. I got your back, same as I know you got mine."
If Face's complexion was returning to a healthier shade, it was only because it was currently making the transition from deathly pale to bright red. He seemed flummoxed and embarrassed, which was a first as far as BA could remember. The bigger man decided to just keep barrelling through. Face could figure out what he wanted to say later – hopefully nothing and they could act like this conversation never happened.
"Murdock's a good guy," BA said gruffly, the pilot's real name feeling strange on his tongue after years of replacing it with "fool" and various synonyms thereof. "He cares about you a lot. You don't gotta worry about that." It wasn't his place to shake Face and scream that Murdock was clearly in love with him, but letting him know the crazy man returned Face's obvious feelings would hopefully spur the blond into action and BA could forget about this whole stupid thing by dinnertime.
Unless he heard the idiots consummating their new relationship tonight. Happy for them or not, BA would still throw them out the window if he heard any dude moans.
"So." BA forced himself to maintain eye contact. Just a few more seconds and then this insanely uncomfortable moment would be over. "We clear?"
Face nodded dumbly, mouth slightly agape but making no attempt to speak.
Thank god. "We cool?"
Face nodded again, swallowing thickly. "We're cool," he croaked. He coughed a little bit and took a long chug of his beer.
BA sighed, relieved. "Okay." He let out a small laugh. "Fuck, man. No offense, but thank god that's over." BA chuckled again and figured, What the hell. He leaned forward and clapped Face on the back as he stood up, about as close to a hug or physical display of affection as he ever got.
Face flinched but recovered quickly. As BA turned to go, he licked his lips and spoke. "BA." The bigger man turned back. Face looked in his general direction but didn't quite meet his gaze. "Um. Thanks. For talking to me. I… Yeah."
BA nodded, shoulders feeling thirty times lighter. "No problem, man." He raised his beer to Face and made his way back to the house with a gait that was practically skipping, but couldn't have been because BA don't skip.
He made it inside just in time to miss Face dropping his head into his hands and starting to shake.