She must be dreaming. Because it was only ever in her dreams, that she woke up wrapped in Garrus's arms, his chin tucked into the crook of her neck and his hand splayed wide over her stomach. Her heart started fluttering so fast inside her chest she was sure that the sound was going to wake up everyone within a mile wide radius. She was facing away from him, her back snug against his chest and her legs intertwined with his under the blankets. She blinked, slowly realising that when Garrus eventually woke up, either he would look at this situation and laugh, calling it 'blowing off steam' or at worst reject her and tell her get out of his life. Shepard suddenly became very afraid of Garrus waking up.

*flashback*

''What do you want Shepard?'' he slurred. Whether from arousal or alcohol she couldn't tell, but as she stared down into his eyes, breathing hard and aching for him. She knew exactly what she wanted.

''You. I want you Garrus.''

As she traced his family markings on his face with her finger, she let out a startled squeak, as in one smooth movement he stood up, positioning her to wrap her legs around his groaned when she squeezed her thighs against his him, causing him to stumble as he tried to make his way to his bedroom. Shepard was frantically kissing Garrus everywhere she could physically reach. Raking her nails up and down his back and clutching his shoulders tightly as she felt his hand sneak under her ass and grip it with force. Before they could reach the bedroom she bit him hard on the side of his neck, making him roar and slam her back into the wall in the corridor leading to his room. His growl was almost vicious in nature as he leaned in lathed his tongue from under her chin all the way down her neck to her collarbone. She pressed her nails hard under his fringe, pressing his face down into her neck, encouraging him to continue licking her; she moaned and moved her body slowly against him, creating friction between her legs. When he traced his teeth down the other side of her neck and she briefly felt him clamp down, a shiver of excitement, lust and fear hummed through her body.

Shepard's blood was throbbing under her skin and her breath was bursting out of her in small pants. Garrus groped her ass again and grinded his emerging cock against her as he held her still with his teeth upon her neck. The hand that wasn't groping at her ass was reaching for her shirt. He brought his hand to her collar and with one sharp talon tore through the middle in one quick flick of his wrist, taking her bra along with it. Her already hardened nipples strained even more as they were suddenly hit with a blast of cool air and moments later covered with a large hand. The sudden cold and then warm sensation from his hand made her yearn for his tongue wrapped around them. She tugged on his fringe to get his attention, causing him to hiss out a curse of pleasure and directed his head downwards till he found her flicked his long tongue out, twirling it around one before grazing her with his teeth. His hand started to pluck at her, harder and quicker until Shepard thought that she would surely lose her mind if she didn't get him inside her soon.

Some part of Shepard knew that they had had far too much to drink and could very well end up regretting this tomorrow. She knew she was bound to get scratches and cuts from tonight, but right then, at that precise moment, with Garrus rubbing himself against her clit, licking his way from her neck down to her breasts she decided that she didn't care. Pulling his face back up and towards hers she kissed him with all the love she had been keeping to herself all these years and when she glanced into his eyes she all but begged

''Garrus, please. I want you inside me. I don't want to wait any more.''

He looked back at her, eyes glassy and unfocused, his mind too far gone to form coherent sentences and nodded. He returned the kiss as best he could, tongue meeting tongue and hands roaming over each other as he half-walked half-stumbled into his bedroom. As they entered the bedroom he put her down on the edge of the bed and stood back to take off his shirt. Shepard slipped off her pants and underwear and as she looked at him she sucked in her breath as years of images and dreams about him, was suddenly standing before her. Real. This was real. She reached out, her hand slowly running over his stomach, watching the muscles on his waist contract as she scraped her nails across them. He let out a low moan and stood transfixed before her as she lowered her hand to the clasps on his pants and started to lower them slowly.

His sub vocals were pleading with her, his eyes never leaving her face as she leaned in to place a kiss on his waist while her hands pushed his pants to his knees. He lifted each leg so that his spurs could come free and when he had finally taken off his pants he stood in front of her, naked as the day he was born. God he was beautiful, Shepard thought, the silver plates gleamed in the room, reflecting the city's lights shining through the window. Shepard finally allowed her eyes to travel down to his cock, a blue so vibrant, shaded here and there with white, reminding her briefly of clouds scattered across a summer's day sky.

She took him in her hand, pumping his cock slowly, lingering with a faint squeeze at the curved head, watching his face for his reactions. Shepard increased her pace and he let his head drop as his mandibles grew slack

''Shepard, you're, ah, spirits…going to make…me cum.'' he keened, eyes wide as he looked down at her.

Abruptly he pulled away and bent forward to loom over her. Shepard took the hint and they both started to crawl up to the top of the bed. She beckoned him with open arms and as he leaned over her, bracing his weight on his forearms, his hand swept from her collarbone, over her stomach and down to the juncture between her legs finding her clit. As he started rubbing against her, she brought one leg up and swung it over his hips, her hand under his fringe and one on his shoulder. She panted into his mouth as his finger suddenly entered her, his hand slightly rubbing against her clit with each thrust.

''Oh, fuck, Garrus.'' she whimpered.

She was unashamedly bucking into his hand and her teeth latched onto the skin of his neck, she was so close. Just before her world shattered, he removed his hand, grabbing her other leg and bringing it to her chest. She gave out a choked gasp as his cock replaced his finger, and the tip entered was convinced that Garrus was trying to torture her, he had one hand underneath her supporting her back, making her arch of the bed and his other arm was braced on her side as he continued to dip his cock in and out of her, moaning softly every time he felt her heat and her slick wetness cover him.

Deciding that she had had enough she pushed off the bed with one arm and effectively pushed him back onto his knees and before he could utter one word of protest she sank down on him. Simultaneously they both leaned back and shouted out their pleasure. His hard cock was heaven to her, the ridges just prominent enough to drag against her walls as she started to ride him. Garrus grabbed her roughly around her waist and as she started to moan, he started thrusting, grunting with the pleasure she was giving him, meeting her halfway as he slammed into her.

He grabbed her by the back of the neck and brought his forehead to hers and bent both their heads down to watch how he was giving it to her and he, to watch how she was taking it. Raspy and throaty groans, growling and the sound of flesh slapping against plates filled the room, their breath a constant sound in each other ears. Shepard threw back her head and came. Her walls convulsing around his cock, so tightly that he grabbed onto her hips and with one last, final, hard thrust he emptied himself into her with a roar and bit down on her neck. His cum filling her and as his breathing started to slow he realised he had never felt so good in all his years alive. Shepard brought his head to hers and kissed him slowly, still feeling the aftershocks of her body's release. She truly, truly loved him and supposed she always would. She lay down next to him on the bed and drifted off to sleep in his arms.

***Present moment***

As Shepard finished putting the bits and pieces together of their night in her head she felt him stir. Oh, shit. He was waking up. She was tempted to pretend to be asleep as she heard him groan and then suddenly twitch as he realised that he was not alone in his bed. She could hear the panic in his sub vocals and closed her eyes as the resignation set in. This was not going to go well.

''Shepard!?'' He half shouted.

As he confirmed that it was in fact her, naked and wrapped around various limbs on his body, he bolted out the bed, causing her to hiss as she felt the chafing on her skin no doubt left all over body from last night. As he hurriedly found his trousers from the floor and yanked them on, he stood with his back to her and held his head in hands. Shepard watched him breathe deeply, seeing the way his back and shoulders shuddered from the action.

''Garrus, I… I'm not sorry that it happened. It did and there's no changing that. I can however, understand if you want to pretend that it didn't happen. But please don't ask me to.'' Shepard said softly. She sat up slowly in the bed, pulling the blankets up to her chest and folding her arms. She wanted him to look at her.

''Garrus, please, look at me.''

Garrus turned around but she found that it was impossible to make eye contact with him as he started pacing up and down at the edge of the bed.

''Shepard, what do you want me to say?''he growled in frustration.

''This was never supposed to happen Shepard. I'm sorry if that hurts you… but Spirits… I don't even know how this happened. I've never been attracted to another species and this couldn't have happened at the worst time. My father is setting up a match for me and expects me to get married soon to one of the Primarch's nieces and if what happened between us ever comes to light, it will ruin my entire family's reputation and degrade any honour that I have brought to myself. ''

He suddenly stopped pacing as he heard her sharp intake of breath. Shepard felt as if though she had just been backhanded by a krogan. The previous fluttering of her heart caused by the excitement of being with him last night immediately dissipated and in its wake she felt her heart momentarily stop from pain, then sluggishly start beating again. Shepard fought for control. She would not let him see how much this hurt her. She would not cry in front of him.

''Shepard… I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. Shepard? You're my best friend. Please, don't let us sleeping together ruin our friendship.''

He sighed as he looked down at the floor, evidence of their sex all around, torn bed sheets and pillowcases, more evidence on the bed of her blood and their fluids. His eyes snapped up to her neck and he let out a small shout of shock. He had bitten her. Oh fuck, he had bitten her last night. She would scar and every time another turian saw that mark she would be considered as either a bondmate or as a whore. Spirits. He held onto his control and tried to even out his breathing. He started to walk towards her around the side of the bed but stopped in his tracks when she flinched from him and gathered the blankets up further.

He couldn't deal with this. Shepard was his best friend in the entire galaxy. The two of them went to the same boot camp together, got shouted at by the same drill sergeants and graduated together. All his good memories over the last eight years included her. Whenever he was struggling to speak to his father about his future and choices he wanted to make, she would be there to encourage and support him and eventually he would find the courage to speak to his father. She and his sister Solana were good friends, and Spirits, even his mother, who fought the humans during the war, approved of his friendship with Shepard. Said she grounded him and kept him from being reckless. It was only his father who couldn't tolerate Shepard. No matter how much he pleaded with his father to give her a chance. He couldn't lose her.

Not to this.

Shepard was still sitting on the bed, reeling and she almost had to laugh at herself because inside her mind if felt like she had one of those archaic movie reels playing in her head. His words constantly skipping around, but repeating often enough that she almost wanted to shout to make it stop. Lifting her head to look at him she saw him approaching her side of the bed and she flinched. She couldn't take him touching her. After so many years of longing for him, loving him, his touch right now would make her regret all those years. She stood up and took the covers with her, covering her body as best as she could. She straightened her spine and tried to stifle a moan of pain. She locked eyes with him, resolute in her decision.

''Would you mind fetching me my jacket, while I get dressed?'' she asked him, her voice low but firm.

As he hesitated, seeming to want to reach out and touch her, he spun on his heels and left the room. While he was gone she tried to put her clothes on in a way that wouldn't aggravate her burning thighs or the shallow gashes in her waist from his talons. Her neck was a constant throbbing pain and she briefly wondered how long it would take before it got infected. As she stood with the sheet wrapped around her upper body, her pants and socks on, she waited for him to come back with her jacket. He had torn through her shirt and bra so she was lucky that she had something of her own to cover herself with as the thought of borrowing something of his which carried his scent, was out of the question for her.

He knocked on the bedroom door and entered, holding her jacket awkwardly. She felt a brief stir in her heart at the sight of him being this uncomfortable, but quickly forced it down. No, she was done with this. No more. She took the jacket from his outstretched hand and turned around. Dropping the sheets, she heard him hiss as he saw the damage he done to her back and the sides of her waist.

''Shepard, you need medi..'' She cut him off with a glare as she zipped up her jacket.

''Save it, Garrus. I've had enough pity and regret for one morning.''She walked passed him intending to leave this place which once brought her so much comfort, but he grabbed her wrist and spun her around to face him.

''We need to talk Shepard.''She took her hand and removed his fingers from her wrist.

She walked down the passage and to the front door. Putting on her shoes, she ignored the way he was huffing behind her. He followed closely and she could hear his subvocals screaming out with frustration at this entire situation.

''Shep…'' only to stop as she opened the front door and stepped through.

''I think enough has been said don't you?'' She said as she closed the door in his face.