Sokka insisted on a traditional funeral. In the Fire Nation the dead were burned, placed atop a pyre. The thought of that happening to Katara made Zuko ill. Instead he watched as Sokka carved a small boat with his knife. He didn't ask for help, and Zuko didn't offer. Instead he watched Sokka work.
Aang had vanished during the first night with his glider. He had left Appa. When Toph suggested that meant that Aang was coming back, no one had answered her. She sat near them making rock balls and chucking them in the water.
"What are we going to eat," growled Toph suddenly.
Zuko looked at Sokka but the boy said nothing.
"You have to eat Sokka," continued Toph, "So do I. So does Sparky Pants here."
Sokka's face grew uglier, and he jabbed the knife furiously into the wood.
Zuko stood, walking towards the trees. They had placed Katara in the tent while Sokka made the boat, and he closed his eyes as he passed it. He stumbled around the woods finding berries that Uncle had shown him before. Digging in a bush revealed a stunning white flower that gave him pause. He thought of Uncle's quest to brew the tea of the White Dragon flower and his mouth twitched in a smile. Almost immediately he felt shame. He looked at the flower for a moment, and then plucked it gently.
He dumped some of the berries in Toph's lap. She looked up, meeting his eyes, startling him. She crammed a fistful in her mouth and chewed loudly.
He placed a handful by Sokka, who ignored him, and then sat down cradling the flower in his hands.
"What's that?" said Toph crawling over.
"A white dragon," said Zuko. "My Uncle says they make a delicious tea. Or a terrible poison. He wasn't sure."
Toph snorted. "I liked your old man. Flowers are a bunch of nonsense." She wiggled her feet, "they all look the same to me!"
They sat together watching Sokka work. Looking away from the girl who lay in the tent behind them.
It was hours before Sokka finished. The sun hung heavy on the horizon, washing the sky out in pinks and oranges.
He had crafted a tiny boat, just big enough for one. They loaded up Appa and took off. They flew Appa out to sea, the bison landing in the water with a sign. Zuko helped Sokka place Katara in the tiny boat. Earlier, they had dressed Katara in her parka and Sokka carefully redid her braid so it fell over her shoulder.
She terrified Zuko, her cold skin and blue lips, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. Sokka tucked some things in with her. Seal blubber, a waterbending scroll, her blanket.
Toph uncurled her arms and held her hand out. She refused to look at them, even when Sokka carefully took her gift. It was a small stone in the shape of a badgermole. Sokka placed it in one of Katara's hands.
Zuko offered the flower, and Sokka tucked it beneath Katara's chin. He touched her necklace briefly, and withdrew his hands.
Together they pushed the boat into the water. It bobbed slightly, and then drifted serenely on the waves. Sokka looked up at the full moon that rose steadily over the water.
"Please Yué," Sokka murmured staring into the water, "take care of my sister."
Zuko didn't look down as Appa took off. He couldn't bear to watch her down there, all alone. Sokka kept his eyes on the moon, as if that had any answers.
That night and the next they made camp in the mountains. Toph had thrown the tent out someone over the Earth Kingdom. Sokka had yelled at her, but Zuko couldn't blame her for getting rid of it.
Since the funeral, Sokka had become aggressively determined to continue the mission.
"After we find Aang, we need to get the plans for the invasion underway" muttered Sokka pouring over several maps. Zuko hadn't seen him eat or sleep yet. There was an unnerving blankness in his eyes even as he calmly gave them directions.
Toph was ignoring him, picking at her toes. Zuko didn't know what to make of her. He didn't know what to make of anything really.
"I'm here," he said loudly, suddenly.
Sokka stopped chewing on a pencil to look at him, and Toph glanced over.
"I mean... " Zuko trailed off. "I'm here to help," he said looking down sullenly.
Sokka looked at him with hard eyes. "My sister fixed your face," he said pointing.
Zuko lifted a hand to his cheek automatically. "Yeah," he muttered, "she did."
"So?" Sokka said glaring.
Zuko was bewildered, "So what?"
"You can leave now," said Sokka nastily, "she's not here anymore."
Zuko stared at him. He looked away. It was true. Katara was gone, the Avatar was missing, Uncle was on the run. He could leave right now. Something stopped him. He looked back at Sokka, saw the anguish leaking out from his cool exterior. He heard Katara's voice whispering in his ear, "stay."
"If you'll have me, I'll stay," he said finally.
Sokka jerked his head and returned to his maps. Toph was still watching him, her little face solemn.
That night, Zuko dreamed of Katara. He was looking for her. He tried to call out, but he couldn't speak. It felt like she was always one step out of reach. He followed her, running through the trees. He ended up on a beach. The waves lapped at his toes. He looked up at the house, and recognized his home on Ember Island. He climbed the porch steps, pausing to wipe the sand from his feet. Katara was everywhere in the house, he could feel it. When he heard laughing from upstairs, he ran, feet pounding up the stairs, and threw the door to his bedroom open with a bang. She had just been there. The room felt like her. The window was open, curtains blowing gently in the cool night breeze. He leaned out and took a deep breath of the salty air. Looking down he saw a figure standing by the water. It turned to look at him and he saw dark hair and blue, blue eyes. Trying to shout, he tripped and fell headfirst out the window.
He awoke with a start, the blankets tangled around his legs. He was shaking and sweating. He licked his lips, and they tasted salty like the sea. He sat up and looked around. Sokka was sleeping on Appa, Toph was buried in her earth tent, and the Avatar - the Avatar was looking right at him.
The little monk sat cross-legged, watching him with deep, grey eyes. Zuko stared back, consciously pulling at his sweat-soaked tunic.
"Katara," the boy said softly looking at Zuko, "where is she?"
Zuko said nothing at first, and the boy waited patiently for him to speak.
Finally Zuko looked down and spoke, "we had the funeral two days ago. She's gone."
Aang breathed deeply and closed his eyes. He sat perfectly still, the only movement the slight rise and fall of his chest. Slowly, he began rocking back and forth, and buried his face in his hands.
When he lifted his head, his face was stained with tears.
"I went to Guru Pathik to open my chakras," said the Avatar looking straight at Zuko. "I needed to master the Avatar state to fulfil my destiny. To restore my honor."
"Honor," repeated Zuko bitterly, "I don't feel very honorable." He continued, spitting the words at Aang, "Do you Avatar? Do you feel honorable?"
Aang seemed unperturbed by Zuko's sudden anger. "I faced every obstacle… until I had to let go of all earthly attachments. I thought of Katara and I… just couldn't." He bowed his head in grief. "Now I can never enter the Avatar State, the last chakra remains blocked. When Azula's lightning hit Katara, I tried to go into the Avatar State. I failed. I've failed everyone."
They sat quietly together for a while. Then Zuko spoke, stumbling over his words.
"I thought about taking Azula's offer. For a moment I was there. My father was smiling at me, Azula looked up to me, my mother was there. It was perfect. I would have my honor back, and these last few years would be… nothing. You were the key to everything. Bring you home and my life would go back to normal. To let go of all that was…" Zuko trailed off. He swallowed. "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I don't know what my path is. I don't know who I'm supposed to be!"
"You didn't though," said Aang quietly, "you chose to help us."
"I did it for her," Zuko said shortly, "to repay her. But now she's gone. And I'm still here. Why am I still here?"
Silence fell. The Avatar had closed his eyes. Zuko would have thought he was meditating if not for the tremor in his shoulders. Again he was struck by his youth. The Avatar was only a child. No older than he had been when he was banished.
Zuko had stumbled into a family so recently fragmented by trauma. He looked at the huddled figures of the Avatar and his companions, and could almost see the emptiness where Katara had existed.
He curled back up under his raggedy blanket and pressed his hands hard against his ears. He fell asleep, and dreamed of nothing at all.