I thought this would look better separated, so two chapters in one day!
"What the hell are you saying, idiot? Are you that drunk?"
Yeah, he had to be. A moment ago he was carelessly laughing and enjoying himself and he becomes like this over something I've always been saying.
"Yup. Drunk as hell. So he better shut up before he says something stupid." Although Kadota was laughing there was a warning tone in his voice as he nudged Izaya in the ribs hard.
"Shut it, Dotachin. I'm tired. It's gone on for too long."
The look in Kadota's eyes was almost desperate. "Are you stupid? What's the point in giving up now, after all this time's passed. You're only going to ruin everything."
"Oi, what are you two going on about?", I interrupted, becoming very irritated by now.
"Nothing."
"It's not nothing."
"Izaya!"
"SHUT UP!" He spat as he shot himself up from his chair, pounding his hands on the table. My jaw actually dropped a bit at that. It was rare to see Izaya actually expressing his anger. But he currently had alcohol covering his back, so…
"Hey, Shizu-chan, let me tell you all about this friendship of ours." He started as he sat back down.
"Don't listen to him, Shizuo."
"I think I told you to keep quiet, Dotachinn~"
Wow, were those two gonna fight or something? They'd never even come close to it. What the hell's going on?
"He's already started. Just let him finish whatever he has to say." I turned to Kadota as I fished out my cigarettes and lit one, taking a long drag.
"I think it's best if you don't hear it-"
"And I think that's for me to decide." Jeez, just spit it out already, annoying fleas.
"Ah, so, that day we came and confessed to you..."
"Yeah?"
"It was a lie."
"..."
"You see, I'd never really liked guys before that and it's not like I like them in general, so I wasn't really gay then. And Dotachin here..." He paused as he patted Kadota, who had his face burried in his hands. I remained silent as I waited for the rest.
"All his life he's been as straight as s straw."
"Yeah, sure.", I laughed, "And all those men were just-"
"Nonexistant. They were never there. He just came up with them in order to deceive you. I mean, you've never seen any of them, right?" He paused and looked to his right where Kadota had just face planted the table, his desire of this coming out in the open obviously unpresent. "Well, except for that one guy that he showed to you. Was it your cousin, Dotachin?" After receiving no answer he shrugged and turned to me, waiting for a response.
well, I gotta admit I was kinda confused. And maybe a little disappointed. Why lie about something like this?
"So...You decided to prank me about being gay? It's kind of a stupid, way drawn out, not-worth-the-effort prank but not something I-"
Interrupted by a snort. "Man, Shizu-chan is as stupid as always." That earned him a glare.
"You honestly didn't get it by now? Having in mind what I said before?"
Getting no answer other than a slightly baffled look on my part he sighed heavily and continued.
"That day I went to Dotachin and confessed that I was in love with you."
...Eh?
"I was seriously scared and had no idea what to do. Then he suddenly grabbed me and started leading me towards somewhere."
What?
"When we ended up facing you I was ready to just run away but then he blurted out that stupid excuse and I was honsetly at a loss."
What did he just say?
"And when you fell for it...Well, I was actually kind of relieved. But since then on several occasions I've been ready to put an end to this. More than me... All those years I've felt like Dotachin has suffered even more than me, trying to keep this act together."
I was struggling to listen to whatever else he had to say as my hands slowly began to clench into fists.
"But every time I suggested telling you the truth he acted just like tonight. I guess he's just scared of everything coming to an end just like that, after so many years... I'm scared too, you know. But in the end, all this is becoming too hard to bear with... So in the end, I guess I was just 'a sick bastard thinking of how to get in your pants.' Haha..."
What the hell are you laughing for?
"Izaya, that's a joke, right?"
"Nope. I love y—"
Having heard more than enough those words were the last straw that made me lose it. Already furious, there was no way I was going to let him finish that sentence as my fist connected with his face in a way that sent him toppling back over his chair and landing on the ground with a loud thud. When he turned to me, his left hand covering his left eye and nose, I couldn't believe that he was actually smiling. It was a smile that was obviously there to hide the pain – though more the emotional one. Fore some reason that made me so much more angrier than I felt was possible.
When Kadota saw me heading for the bastard that was at that moment easily my biggest enemy ever, who had made no move to even get up, he quickly ran in front of me, trying to block my way.
"Oi, Shizuo, stop it! You hit him already, that's enough!"
"Enough? That's nowhere near enough! You piece of shit! So you lied? Every fucking day you looked me in the eyes and spat nothing but utter crap! To think you were one of the people I trusted the most! God, to think I've even slept in the same room as you! What weird shit did you do then, huh, you motherf-"
"Shizuo!"
By now the whole bar had it's attention on us. Those fuckers had better stop staring like that or they'd be next. And Kadota, even if he was trying his best to restrain me I could've easily just moved him out of the way. I could've if my body wasn't shaking so violently I thought I wouldn't really be able to stay on my feet. Speaking of him, I probably should've been just as mad at him, given that it was his idea and all, but right now all I could think of was how I just wanted to strangle that bastard that was just sitting there on the floor, looking at me as though he was gonna start crying any minute, even with that stupid smile still present.
Not really feeling like going to jail for murder I shoved Kadota away, grabbing my jacket and storming out of that hell hole, frantically searching for my car keys. I just wanted to go home, fall asleep and wake up to find this to have been nothing but a nightmare.
"Ah, careful, there's still two more stairs."
"Jeez, I can walk on my own. I'm not that drunk Dotachin." Izaya teased as he tried to push himself off of Kadota.
"Yeah, you are. Who in their right mind would do something so stupid? And stop laughing like it's all fine and dandy!" Kadota growled as he let go of Izaya in order to unlock the door to his apartment, stepping in and turning on the lights.
Following after him Izaya looked around the room carefully.
"Eh, your girlfriend's not here?"
"She's probably out with friends. I told her I'd come home late."
"And here you are bringing a man back with you. So naughty~"
"Shut up! As if I'm gonna screw up just when I'm thinking of proposing... to her." Oops. Should he have said it?
"Wha? For real? Haha, after hiding her for almost two years you'll finally be able to show off! That's good. Shizu-chan will surely be happy that at least one of his friends didn't happen to be a repulsive piece of shit in the end. Though I guess I'm not really his friend anymore, so..."
"...Izaya."
"Yeah?"
He stared at the tissue that was presented in front of his face.
"Pfft, I'm not gonna cry or anything."
"You already are."
Feeling at that moment the tear rolling down his right cheek Izaya just stared as all the feelings that welled up inside him from earlier, and from the beginning, suddenly hit him in a huge wave. Sensing that he wouldn't be able to hold it in anymore he buried his face in his hands as the rest of the tears left him as silently as could manage to let them out.
Kadota just put his hand on his friend's shoulder and waited for him to calm down.
"I guess that really wasn't the best way to tell him..."
"No shit."
Wiping at the tears that were now beginning to slow down he finally looked up at Kadota again.
"At least it's over. I can now finally move on. We both knew it was impossible from the beginning, and even if it was good being near him just as a friend... Since that's not possible anymore I don't really have a choice now, do I?"
Kadota didn't say anything. He had tried his best to prevent this from happening but now he honestly didn't know what would happen.
"Yeah, I'll move on... Probably. Who knows. Or maybe I can just die and-Ouch!"
He glared at his friend after receving a hard smack on the back of his head.
"Don't think of anything stupid or I'll kill you myself."
"Kidding, kidding! A man can't even have his angst moment in peace."
"Whatever."
"Well, it really is late so I'm gonna get going."
Izaya made to stand from the couch, but was stopped by a hand gripping his wrist.
"You sure? You can stay here if you want."
"Noo, what will I do if you two suddenly decide to do it? Aren't the walls here pretty thin?"
"We're not gonna do it while you're here, damn it!"
"Sorry, can't take the risk." He waved his hand dramatically before shutting the door behind him.
Listening to the decreasing sound of steps Kadota sughed heavily as he tried to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do from now on.
Izaya wondered the same thing as he slumped against the wall next to the stairway while the tears began to flood his eyes again.
The only thing Shizuo could think of while he rolled around in his bed was how much he wanted to fall asleep, hoping that tomorrow he wouldn't remember anything.