Latte: -Squee- I have reviews! Thank you! XD Although there were eh, some mistakes in spelling wise because I got tangled up with the keys and a couple of grammar mistakes here and there..anyway. -Coughs- Here's Chapter 2, so enjoy!
Warning: General OCCness (Mukuro and Giotto namely), utter crack, plausible plot point or no plot at all, slight bashing (or maybe not) of the KHR characters, Giotto lying in narration, FFVII: AC references, overused cliche situations, Crack Shounen-ai pairings, Giotto's overactive imagination and 'wunnerful' creativity, slight internetz speak, general insanity,choppy-ish flow of sentences, Giotto (shamless) self insertion for crack purposes.
Italics in ( HahahahaIpwnj00) is Giotto's narration.
Disclaimer: Do not own. If I did, well, let's just say that I will kill everybody mindset of the characters...-coughs-
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(-So, where were we? Ah, yes. My cute little (plausible) descendant, apparently suffering from an overload of his dearest husband being topless- ("You liar!")zip it, possible descendant and let me continue!-anyway, Tsunayoshi fainted because the image was too awesome, but miraculously wakes up within 10 minutes of fainting due to his Vongola hyoer intuition-("It doesn't work that way!")-shush, or else I will turn you into a Tuna sushi!-and hence decides to venture down to have his breakfast with his happy family, and thus this was how Tsuna learnt a few of a Vongola Boss life's most important lessons.)
This was all way too surreal.
As much as he could remember, his mornings were always normal in the sort of 'above-average-but-not-too-strange' way ever since Reborn arrived at the Sawada household. His Mum would serve up a tray of delicious breakfast and a cup of hot coffee for Reborn, and also breakfast for the two 5 year old kids, one armed with extreme myopia and superb martial art killing skills (I-pin), the other armed with a TYL! bazooka from the courtesy of his family, occasional bouts of mischief, crying and the stupidity of a kid who didn't go to school for education but was instead, trained and sent over to Japan to assassinate Reborn (which he failed again and again, but hey, never give up!), so it was a normal morning, yes siree.
However, at this time of the moment, today was anything but a normal day. Tsuna could almost feel his retinas and photoreceptor cells burning their (smarmy little) PG-rated pants off when he saw what was probably the most disturbing scene in the whole of his 14 years.
Rokudo Mukuro had decided to go topless(Tsuna thanked the Gods that the pineapple head was still sane enough to not go pant-less) with a pink apron and was now currently flipping pancakes while humming some random background music that sounded suspiciously like "One-Winged Angel".
...wait, what? His mind did a double check again. Mukuro in pink apron flipping pancakes in the kitchen. Mukuro in PINK APRON FLIPPING PANCAKES IN THE KITCHEN?!
Does not compute above image. BEEP.
"Germino!!" went his brain.
"I NEED A TECHNICIAN! NOW!" went his hyper intuition.
"?!" went our main character, slumping down onto his knees, going all swirly eyed.
Mukuro being Mukuro, gave his signature laugh before striding over and sweeping up his dizzy 'wife' in bridal style and placed him ever so gently onto the chair, and returned back to his pancake flipping, chuckling in sadistic delight.
He really needed to go au naturel and dance the Samba with Tsuna in their bedroom one day. Privately.
Afterall, Mukuro did indeed, had THE body physique to flaunt, doesn't he?
--
The world had finally gone insane, Tsuna decided, as soon as he regained his senses.
While Mukuro was washing up, the Vongola Decimo had sometime to mull over certain urgent matters, like why the hell was Mukuro topless and flipping those pancakes and washing up the dishes, when did he gave up his love for Kyoko and married Mukuro but more importantly, when and how did the both of them had kids?!
Ask your husband! Ask your husband!
Tsuna narrowed his eyes at the familiarity of the voice.
Giotto-san? What are you doing in my head? Oh wait a minute...this is all your doing, isn't it? You're messing with my dreams!
No, no I am not this "Giotto" person, I am your, uh, hyper intuition's conscience!
Tsuna, for a moment, became good in one other thing. Something called being a lie detector. Or perhaps Giotto wasn't good at lying at all.
...I don't believe you.
Humph, fine, go ahead and mock me, just you wait!
"A kiss for your thoughts?"
Instantly, Tsuna pulled out from his conversation with that lying saint eyes-I mean, his hyper intuition's conscience and shook his head vigorously. That was one of the last things on his list that he wanted to happen.
"Kufufu...never mind. I will get what I want later...tonight," the illusionist added, a mischievous spark dancing in his eyes.
Tsuna paled and dived into his breakfast quickly. However he stopped halfway when Mukuro said the word that he had probably been dreading to hear.
"Breakfast is ready, kids!"
Oh god, the kids! He had almost forgotten all about the kids. Tuna fish-eh, the young Vongola boss eyes darted over in the stairs where the sound of feet came from. However, the Tsuna could do nothing but stare when he saw the 'kids'.
This time, he was utterly convinced that the world had happily ended itself.
"HIBARI-SENPAI?! RYOHEI-SAN?!"
"...bwite you to dweath." The now turned little Hibari grounded out, glaring at Mukuro before moving over to Tsuna and clung onto his leg possessively.
"Mine, RAWR!" Hibari went, throwing it at the direction of the now slightly irate and amsued Mukuro. Tsuna could swear for a fleeting moment, he could see sparks flying off between them.
"EXTWEEEMMMMM BWEAKFWIST! TSU KAA-CHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!" went Ryohei, who came bounding in, all starry-eyed and punching his fist in the air.
TSU KAA-CHAN? THE HECK?
"Now, now kids, hurry up and go eat your breakfast. Don't bother your Mommy, come on now," ushered Mukuro, prying off Hibari from Tsuna's leg, holding both of Hibari's wrists. The Cloud Guardian snarled and kicked his legs wildly, looking as if he would like nothing better but to bite the pineapple head to death, however, since he was disarmed, he had to content with attempting to kick Mukuro in the face.
"...Hibari-senpai and Ryohei-san are our...kids?" Tsuna said slowly, each word leaving an uncomfortable taste in his mouth. This was definitely going in a direction that he didn't like at all.
Before Mukuro could answer, Tsuna question was (fortunately) answered by a voice behind him.
"The Cloud and the Sun Guardian were hit by...a malfunctioning laser. Gianni was repairing it when he accidentally hit the activation button. it seems that their body and personality were slightly...altered. So they will be staying together with you two until Gianni fixes the laser, which will be...somewhere later in the evening."
I know that voice! Tsuna thought as he looked up.
Standing at the doorway was Giotto, who had ditched his usual suit and cape for a summer version of the male's kimono. As much as Tsuna would like to deny, he was looking damn good for a person who was supposedly to be six feet under ground.
"Why are you here..? I thought you were supposed to be, well, dead?" said Tsuna, who was starting to go into his " irritated and-serious"mode (Stage 2). And much more less irritating and more 'wow'! power when I first saw you, he added mentally.
Giotto sent a mock hurt look at Tsuna, going all melodramatic.
"Oh, how you hurt me so, descendant! After all, I am standing right in front of you, alive and kicking ("I don't care, you can disappear for all I care, just get me out of your twisted fantasies, for God's sake!"), what does that tell you?"
Of course, as all stories go, a character had to intervene before any serious business happens (mind you, this story is crack, so too much seriousness is a no-go), and that lucky character would be, of course, our resident sadistic illusionist, Mukuro.
"Grandfather Giotto, would you like some breakfast?"
Tsuna choked on his saliva. Since when did Giotto became his GRANDFATHER? Since when did the sadistic illusionist been this respectful, especially when he hated the Vongola?! Logic didn't apply in this dream-I mean, story, really. Sadly, nor does twisted logic either.
Giotto noticed Tsuna's confusion (but missed his growing irritation) and launched an explanation.
" Yes, I Calling me Grandfather is easier this way. Unless you want to call me Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Smart-Suave-Handsome-Saintly-the-Grea-"
"I get it, I get it!" Egoistic bastard, growled Tsuna in his mind. He definitely preferred the Giotto in his Dying-Will mode-- less annoying, less egoistic and definitely more saint looking,powerful and better behaved. Tsuna had got to hand it to Giotto for the fact he really did know how to make good first (misleading) impressions.
"Glad to hear that, and yes of course, I would like some breakfast," replied Giotto warmly, taking a seat in between a very hyper and serious-I mean, EXTREME! Ryohei and a sulking Hibari, who was apparently none too pleased to eat what Mukuro had prepared. He was glaring at the food, as if hoping it would spontaneously combust under his fierce glare.
Tsuna was tempted to ask whether did Giotto went for Botox injections, but decided not to because it would make sense for Giotto to appear as young, dashing and saintly as he was the most powerful Vongola Boss out of all Bosses (Although Tsuna did quietly thought that he would surpass him very soon), so Giotto had to upkeep his eh, prime image. However, it was all theory. The more logical explanation was that Giotto was faked his death because he became a vampire and hence, explains his youthful image.
...wait, that didn't sound logical either.
Tsuna gave a sigh and went back to finishing up the food.
Well, at least the pancakes were good.
--
Sawada Tsunayoshi had never felt this drained after breakfast.
I mean, who wouldn't if they have to deal with two kids (Mukuro and Hibari) who were literally fighting for his affections-I MEAN, attention while trying to prevent the both of them from attempting to bite each other heads off, a very EXTREME! older brother of his love affection and lastly, Giotto not in Dying Flame mode.
"Tsuna."
The said person shot a tired look at his double. Tsuna really needed to get out of this house right now, preferably as far away from here as possible.
"I need you to go over to the Varia Household and borrow XANXUS' Rage Flame for tonight's BBQ party. Oh, and they are invited."
"...Come again?"
"I said, I need the Rage Flame from XANXUS to light the BBQ."
Normal lighter, anyone?
"That wouldn't do, now, off you go, or else I will tell Mukuro to..." Giotto bent down and whispered into Tsuna's ear.
The Vongola Decimo's eyes widened by a fraction and without any hesitation, he bolted off to carry his task.
Giotto smirked. Sawada Tsunayoshi, as Hibari Kyouya would probably put it in his terms, was a very "interesting herbivore whose life contained too much PG-rated situations."
(So, my cute little-I mean, our brave Vongola Decimo sets off to next door to fufill his ancestor's strange request! Up next on chapter 3--Meet the Varia Household! Stay Tuned!)
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A/N: OH GOD. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT HIBARI AND MUKURO'S CHARACTER SONGS ARE TOTALLY LOVE SONGS DEDICATED TO TSUNA. (Yes, 'm slow. XD)
Important note: Update will be slower than my current speed as I have to revise for my upcoming major exams.