E/N: So, the movie's coming out on the 2nd of October in The Netherlands, and I'm really looking forward to it! I was looking at trailers on YouTube, and ohmigosh, Aaron Johnson (Robbie) is hot! I think that Dave the Laugh looks a bit too young, though. I don't know, it could just be me. Thank you for your reviews and Story Alerts, it really beamed me up! So, here's the second chappie!
Sitting on the curb
Deja-whatsit.
5 seconds later
VU! Deja-vu! Finally, I had an epiphany-whatsit!
1 second later
Doesn't make me feel any better though.
5 minutes later
Someone came out of the club. I looked behind me to see who it was, but I could only make out that it was a human figure. The rest was all blurry.
Three seconds later
Stop standing there you standing stranger!
One second later
"Georgia, are you okay?"
Bugger.
Two seconds later
Why is he calling me Georgia? He never calls me Georgia. The only times he calls me Georgia is when he's Dave the Unlaugh.
Half a second later
Bugger.
Two seconds later
He sat beside me. I wish I could put my head on his shoulder, but I just couldn't do it. Because of his girlfriend situation?
One second later
I was thinking quite clearly.
One second later
"What's the matter, Gee?"
"Nothing."
"I'm the Hornmeister of Advice, you can tell me."
He was talking Dave the Laugh, but he still was being Dave the Unlaugh, I could see that.
"I just.. talked to Masimo yesterday and.. Well, he came over and he asked me 'Ciao, Georgia, come sta, are you only mates with that Dave, or are you, more than mates?' and I said 'I don't know' and then he said 'I don't think that we should be boyfriend and girlfriend anymore' and then he just left."
I couldn't get it out normally. What was the matter with me?
"So, he d.."
"Yes, Dave, he dumped me." I sneered. I didn't mean to, but I just did it.
He looked at me. "Whew, Gee, no need to be cross with moi."
"Dave, are you a homosexualist?"
He started laughing. I thought he would never come out of it.
"Hahaha, no Gee, hahaha, why would you think that?"
I took a deep breath and turned to him. "Because.. You said I am a honorably bloke and that you loved me. But if you love me, you would be loving a bloke, which would make you.."
He was only an inch away from my face and looking me in the eyes.
"Gee.. One. You have nunga nunga's, which are magnificent, if I may say, so, you are clearly not a bloke, and two.."
He hesitated.
"Two, what?"
"Two umbrella's, laughing away on a fast camel."
He stood up and walked back in.
Two whats? On a what?
WHAT?!
I have no idea what time it is
I went back inside, just to see Emma doing stormies off. She almost bumped into me.
"Oh, Georgia, excuse me."
"That's okay Emma.." I noticed she was all teary eyed.
"What's wrong?" I knew I shouldn't have asked, but I was trying to make myself nicer.
"Dave, h-he.." Oh, bugger.
"He broke up with me!" She started crying. I put an arm around her, and she hugged me. I was standing with my face at the club, and Dave came walking out. "Emma, I.. Let me explain, I.." Then he noticed me there.
"Oh, hi Gee."
I looked at him. Emma ran out.
10 seconds later
He was staring at me, all Unlaugh-ish. I walked right past him, I had to find Rosie.
Two minutes later
Found Rosie. I wonder where Sven went.
"Ro-Ro."
"Oui."
"Where's Sven?"
She pointed at the stage. He was standing on the stage, dancing around Dom. It surprised me that no one had gotten him off yet.
"Ro. Dave broke up with Emma."
She gave me the Klingon-salute and got out her beard.
"Rosie! Where did you keep it?"
"In my trousers."
Oh my God. I looked at her for a moment.
"What."
"Ro-Ro, as much as I lurve you, I must say.. That is disgusting."
"Why?"
"Just, because.. Never mind. Back to business. What do I need to do?"
"So. You're both single now, you say."
"Yes."
She scratched her beard.
"Hmm. Interesting. And, do you have ze Horn for our funny friend?"
I looked at her. "I don't know."
"Well. I think you do."
She gave me the Klingon-salute and went op front. I looked at her, she was pulling Sven off the stage and started snogging him. She still had her beard on.
I just looked away.
Tarts' wardrobe
Fixing fringe. In a wonderous way, the gluey stuff wore off and my hair is all messed up. Wet Lindsay and ADM came in.
"Oh, look who we have here, Masimo's dumpee! What have you done to make him dump you, now?"
I looked at her forhead.
She started inspecting it in the mirror.
"Finally you're off him, you snivelling idiot, you got what you deserve."
I've had it.
"First of all, Lindsay, you know nothing about what happened, nor about what I deserve. Second of all, your extensions make your forhead look more invisible than it allready did and last, just leave me alone and SHUT UP OR I'LL MAKE YOU!"
She looked at me wide eyed, as far as her mini-eyes allow her to. I stormed off.
Ten minutes later
I was supposed to walk off with the Ace Gang, but they're too busy snogging their boyfriends to notice that I'm actually leaving.
I'll just walk off alone then.
Walking off
All aloney. On my owney..
Still walking
This is so boring and scary. I feel like I'm being followed..
"BOO!"
Half a second later
I went all ballisticisimus and jumped four feet into the air.
Half a second later
Typico and damn. Dave the Laugh, who was Laughing his head off right now.
Two minutes later
"Dave, if you don't stop laughing I will have to kill you."
One minute later
Walking along, ignorez vous'ing Dave. I'm curious, though. Why did he break up with Emma? But I will never talk to him again.
20 seconds later
"Dave, why did you break up with Emma?"
30 seconds later
Now he's ingnorez vous'ing me!
Two seconds later
"Dave, don't ignorez vous me."
"I'm not! I'm just.. No reason, really."
One second later
Ignorez vous'ing him again. I could act as if I were dead.
Two minutes later
"Gee, I know you're not dead because you're still walking. Or you would be a zombie, but that's impossible."
"I could be a zombie."
"No you couldn't."
"Yes, actually, I could."
"Gee?"
"Yes?"
"You couldn't."
I pushed him into a bush.
One millisecond later
Can anyone tell me, how in the name of God's pyjama's I have ended up in a bush with Dave the Laugh?
Two seconds later
"Got you there, Sex Kitty."
"Yes, yes you did."
He was laughing.
"So, now you've had your moment of triumph.. LET ME GET UP."
"I'm afraid I can't do that."
And he got up and left me lying in the bush!
5 seconds later
I tried to get up, but I was stuck. In the bush. How humilating.
Two seconds later
"Dave! Help me up!"
"Will you first tell me something, Gee?"
"Er, sure."
"What's it to you, the reason why I broke up with Emma?"
"So, there's a reason why you broke up then! Hmm."
"Gee.."
"Just.. I'll tell you when you help me up."
"No."
"I like to stand while I explain.. Now help me up or I will kill you!"
"Say the magic word!"
"When you help me up, may I please KILL YOU!"
He snickered, and helped me up. I fell into him, grabbed his face, and gave him the snog attack.
Five minutes later
"So, in a nutshell, that's why I wanted to know."
And I walked off. Teehee!
Back in my boudoir
Wonderful evening. Just wonderful. I outspeeched Wet Lindsay, comforted my "competition", fell into a bush and didn't kill the one who pulled me into it. I must be a good person, deep, deep down.
One minute later
Just like Emma.
One minute later
Who had only been dumped 15 minutes before I snogged Dave.
One minute later
Oh bugger.
11.40 p.m.
I looked at the time. I'm in way too early! I guess I'll just go sit on the wall or something.
Downstairs
"GEORGIA? WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?" Nice, Vati, vair nice.
I just opened the front door, tried to walk out full of maturosity, and almost fell over.
"What are you doing here?"
On the wall
Once again, Dave popped up out of nowhere, in front of my house. I just stormed right past him and pulled him over to the wall. "Let's just sit here, okay, my Vati's up to strop central."
We sat down. He hadn't said anything.
"Why are you here?"
He just stared across the street.
"Well. Since you explained what it is to you, I thought it would be fair to tell you why I broke up with Emma."
"Good thinking."
He looked at me. "Yes, yes. Then, I am, it has to be said, Jack the Biscuit."
"You're so not!"
"Well, I hate to break it to you, but I am."
"You're not."
"I am."
"You're n.."
And he snogged me.
A lot of minutes later
"That isn't fair, you can't win an argument like that."
"All is fair in love and war, Kittykat, you should have known that." He grinned at me.
"Ah, the ol' Billy Shakespearian terms then! Haven't got over MacUseless yet, have you now." And then I realized what he actually meant, I think. I mean, love? War? What? My brain was already packing for Loon Land.
I looked at him. He took a deep breath and said. "Georgia.. I.." I prepared myself for the worst. Everytime Dave the Unlaugh has to search for words, I don't want to hear what he has to say. "I'm in love with you."
My head started swooning.
10 seconds later
Dave stood up and said "Well fanks for the talk, Kittykat, it was very, er, marv." And he walked off.
In bed
What has just happened?
One minute later
In love with me. Dave's in love with me.
One minute later
He hasn't got the horn with me. He's in love with me.
One minute later
Hm, love. How is that in comparison to the Specific Horn?
It can't be that bad..
One minute later
I think it's worse..
One minute later
Why are boys so complicated and poo?! This reminds me of the me-falling-in-the-river-and-then-snogging-The-Laugh-(again)-fandango. He was all "You're an honorably bloke, Gee, that's why I love you." That doesn't mean anything in normal-people speak!
One minute later
I don't consider myself normal, not at all, I mean, look at my parents.. but you get my point, I hope.
One minute later
I'll just go to sleep now. Goodnight!
1 a.m.
I can't fall asleep.
One minute later
Stupid Dave the Unlaugh. This is his fault.
One minute later
But why is it that I can't sleep? Dave and I are matey mates. And incidental snogging partners.
One minute later
Well, we certainly were on matey terms until SOMEONE decided that it was appropriate just to go and talk about lovey stuff.
Two minutes later
Having that said, why in the name of Slim's giant pantaloonies do I feel so buggering happy?
One minute later
I feel as if my brain has moved down to Swoon City, and has found a cute little housey to stay in for a while.
One minute later
With little curtains and a normal cat, who isn't half dog and chases cars to then be hit by them.
One minute later
And doesn't have any "parents" included who toss around their Nunga's all day.
One minute later
And no Uncle Eddie around in his undercrackers. Or removing his undercrackers to display his..
One minute later
SHUT UP, BRAIN! JUST SHUT UP!!
Two minutes later
I remember when Dave and I "went out" (i.e. me using him as a red herring to get Robbie the Sex God to lurve me) and I asked him "What is the first thing boys see in a girl." And he said "Ah, the Nunga Nunga's."
One minute later
He's insane, but was quite nice for a temporary boyfriend. Buying me flowers and rescuing me from Wet Lindsay with a cartwheel-thing.
One minute later
Wet Lindsay, who is positively going to KILL me at school, Monday.
One minute later
Oh.. Bugger. I'll be dead meat.
One minute later
Deader.
Two minutes later
Maybe that in-love thing isn't that bad after all.. I don't know. I think I just need to sleep on it.
One minute later
Yes, sleep, that would be nice, only if I could get one hour of buggering sleep!
Monday september 26th
8.10 a.m.
Walking to Stalag 14 with Jas. She was rambling on about her and Hunky, and I interrupted her.
"Jas. I need to tell you something."
"Oh! Yes, I already know."
How?!
"Dave broke up with Emma, right?"
"Well, yes, but.."
And then she started again. Oh God.
9.40 a.m.
German
Herr Kamyer is, once again, very unfortunate looking. As I have stated many, many times before.. His pants are just too short and reveal a bit too much leg to me. Plus, he has a forest of ginger hair on his shins. As I said to Rosie: If you didn't take note of his puke coloured "pantalon", you would think he had ginger-coloured tights on. Rosie gave me the cross-eyed Klingon-salute.
Five minutes later
The class is abnormally quiet.
One minute later
"The hills are alive.. With the sound of PANTS!" Rosie stood up in her chair and made a pirouette.
The class applauded.
10 seconds later
Herr Kamyer turned around from the board, Rosie dropped back into her chair. Herr Kamyer bowed. He thought we applauded because of the past tense he had just written out on the board. Has he gone mad?
One second later
With trousers like that? YES.
Three minutes later
Miss Wilson came strolling in. Herr Kamyer started twitching. Oh, sweet teachers' love. If only it didn't make me gag.
20 seconds later
Rosie and I are both faking gag sounds.
10 seconds later
The whole class joined in! Triumph!
Two seconds later
Miss Wilson has turned beetroot all over. At least, the parts that are showing. The rest, I really, really don't want to know.
Herr Kamyer is twitching.
One minute later
I wonder what twitching is in German.
Thirty seconds later
Zucken.
Two minutes later
I told Rosie. She said it reminded her of Sven giving her a love bite. Her exact words were: "Oh! The good old Zuck! That reminds me of yesterday when Sven was giving me a love bite! It sounded like "Zuck-zuck" Do you want to see it?" I said "No." But she showed it anyway.
Three seconds later
Why would he give Ro-Ro a hickey on the inside of her arm?
Ten seconds later
I wish I hadn't asked.. I said: "Ro-ro.." "Oui, I mean, Jah?" "What was Sven doing around your arm anyway?" She said "Well, look where it's next to." And grinned.
Two seconds later
I'm going to be sick.
Lunch break
We were sitting on the ground in the main hallway, which we're not allowed to do according to the Hitler Youth, when Wet Lindsay and ADM came strolling up. I almost got into a strop, but she just looked at me and walked on as if she hadn't noticed us sitting in the hallway.
Two seconds later
Well, the Ace Gang had deffo noticed her. We were all staring at her forhead like staring starers, she just covered it with her ridiculous fringe.
Five minute later
"Gee, what happened at the gig? You just disappeared." Jools said.
"What?"
"And have you heard that Dave and Emma broke up?"
Ellen went beetroot and said "Oh, er, do you, er, really?"
I anwsered "Yes, I know, I was there."
"What do you mean?"
"You know, when Masimo was covering that Jet song, he sang it to me, I guess. Of course I disagreed with him, but that's another matter."
"Well, Gee, you are a bitch sometimes." Mrs. Huffy Knickers said. I just ignorez vous'ed her.
"Soo.. Anyway, I did stormies off, and when I walked back in, Emma came storming out, she was blubbing.. And I felt bad for her, because she's so nice and so on.."
The Ace Gang was just nodding about.
"So I tried to calm her down and then Dave suddenly popped up."
"Oo-er", from Rosie.
"Well, yes. But Emma stormed off and Dave was being all peckish and we walked off and he snogged me and said he's in love with me."
"So, he broke up with Emma because he's 'in love' with you?" Rosie made air quotes.
"Yes."
Jas said "Tart."
I said "Jas, I can't help it that he's 'in love' with me!"
"Yes you can. You should have stayed away."
"I did!"
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Did not, Georgia, I'm not having this conversation with you."
"It's not exactly a conversation when a certain vole with a fringe keeps saying 'did not', Jas."
She just flicked her fringe and huffed.
One minute later
"So, Gee, are you like Dave's 'girlfriend' now?"
"No, Mabs, he stormed off after his little confession-thingy."
The Gang just looked at me.
Two minutes later
Rosie said "Don't let your bottom run free and wild, Gee, reign in the nostrils and keep your Nunga's up front." Everyone nodded understandily.
I just said "What? If I wasn't full of confusionosity yet, I am now!"
"Oui."
One minute later
So, I just need to act as if nothing has happened and lay off. That can't be so hard..
4.15 p.m.
This is going quite well.. I'm just staying away from Dave and walking with Mabs and Ellen. Mabs is quite easy to talk with, and Ellen is just dithering about, as normal.
Two minutes later
Drat. I forgot about the part where everybody goes the one way, and Dave and I go the other way.
I said, quiety and full of subtlosity "Jas, can I come over for a bit?"
She huffed.
One minute later
Alone with Dave. Bugger.
So.. R&R would be appreciated (: Oh, and they casted a quite cute kid for Whelk Boy.. I had imagened him more.. Whelky