Song: "How Long"
Artist: Hinder
Setting: Post-breakup
Warning: Slightly AU

Why'd you go and break what's already broken
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking
How long till this goes away
I try to remember to forget you
But I break down every time I do
It's left me less than zero
Beat down and bruised
I can't see him with you
Why'd you go and break what's already broken
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him
How long till this goes away

A new school year, a new start, right? Eli kept trying to tell himself that on his way to school that morning. It was the first day of the new school year. It'd be a fresh start, and a new beginning, right? As much as he tried to tell himself that, Eli still wasn't convinced.

She would still be there, and they'd still have to be under the same roof. Apparently she had all honors classes this year, and there'd be a major chance that she would be in one of his. Of course, they'd have to see each other sometime. Eli couldn't just live in this little world in which Clare didn't exist. She did exists and was very much alive in the same universe he was.

Eli was blasting Disturbed as he pulled up to the parking lot of Degrassi. Everyone was dressed in their appropriate, assigned uniforms. He hated it. He tugged at the collar on his shirt and wished he could change into his black Slipknot sweatshirt. At least everyone blended in. Maybe she would blend in too, and he wouldn't really even notice her presence.

Eli wished he could just forget about her. She had completely broken him, and Eli was sure she had broken him past the point of repair. It wasn't that long ago that they were a normal, happy couple. Then his mental illness had kicked in and he messed up his medication.

He had a mental breakdown during the play he had written, right there on stage. The whole school knew he had gone crazy. He was better now, sure, but school would be an obstacle. Clare would be an obstacle.

He liked to think he wasn't crazy anymore, but he was. He was crazy for her.

She would always break into his mind, invade his thoughts. She always broke in, and was always unwelcomed. It would happen randomly. Maybe during dinner, his mom would say something about Mrs. Jenkins garden, and Eli would think about Mr. Jenkins blue Ford and then he'd think about her blue eyes. It happened like that. All thoughts always connected in some twisted way back to her.

More than once, he had to excuse himself in the middle of a meal, to go to his room and slam his fist into the door until his knuckles bled. All he wanted to do was forget her, that's all he wanted. That's not too much to ask for, is it? But maybe for Eli, it is. Maybe he deserves this.

After all, he did put everything before her in their relationship.

His car. His hoarding. His illness. His dead girlfriend. Everything seemed to matter more than Clare, and she had finally gotten sick of it.

He tried everything to get her attention, but it was too late.

Crashing his car didn't exactly work out either.

Poor Morty.

Eli turned the key in the ignition and jiggled it out. He was there, at school, ready to face another day. To face her.

Okay, so maybe he wasn't quite ready for that part.

"Hey!" Adam jumped off a picnic table and walked over towards the hearse, "What's up!"

"Hey," Eli slammed the door shut and hoisted his backpack onto his shoulder, "Not much man, not much. Ready for a new school year?"

"Guess so," Adam shrugged, "What about you?"

Eli sighed, and that was an answer enough for Adam.

"She's here. I saw her not too long ago."

"Uh-huh."

"She…um…she's kind of with…Jake now."

"Jake the jockstrap?" Eli asked, raising an eyebrow. He didn't know why, but his heart felt like an anvil had been dropped on his chest.

"Yeah," Adam winced, "Sorry man. But she…she seems…happy?"

"Good for her," Eli just stared straight ahead, trying to ignore how his eyes were stinging.

"Um, you know how we swapped schedules the other night? And how we're taking two classes together?"

"Yeah…"

"Well…I might have done something you're gonna kill me for."

"What'd you do?"

Adam winced and kicked at the pavement, "I talked to her."

"What?" Eli's eyes were about to pop from their sockets, "Unbelievable."

"I just had to know man…and I figured it'd be good warning for you…"

"What are you talking about?"

"She showed me her schedule," Adam chewed on his lower lip, "And well…you have four classes with her."

"FOUR?"

"Yeah," Adam apologized, "sorry man. I-I just thought I should warn you."

"Yeah," Eli nodded, trying not to be too upset, at least not too upset with Adam, "Thanks."

So he had four classes with Clare. Of course he was bound to have a class with her, but four? Eli didn't want to even look at her or see her. Being under the same roof would have been tough enough, but now they'd be in the same room for four hours a day, five days a week.

"Um…is it too late to get my schedule changed?" Eli asked.

"I am pretty sure," Adam patted Eli on the shoulder, "You'll be fine. You know what you need to do? You need to get a new girl. Clare's clearly moved on and…"

Eli glared at Adam.

"Sorry," Adam held up his hands in surrender, "that was a crappy thing of me to say, huh?"

"Just a bit."

"It's just…I think you need to get your mind off of her. I know you've been trying…"

"I've been trying so hard. I hate it. I hate her. She always creeps back into my thoughts. I just wish I could…I want to just erase my memory of her."

"Well, unless you get a lobotomy, I don't think that's gonna happen…" Adam was interrupted by laughter and the duo turned to see Clare, on Jake's arm, titling her head back and laughing.

"Who do I call about that lobotomy?"

I can't seem to get my heart over you
Cause you creep into everything I do
And now I'm dying to know
How he touches you
I can't see him with you
Why'd you go and break what's already broken
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him
How long till this goes away
How long till this goes away
She said she wants to be friends
I took a big step back
She said
She said
She said she's sorry
With one finger
I said fuck that

Eli sat in the very back of the classroom. He figured it'd be the safest place to sit. No way would Clare Edwards sit in the back row. Speaking of…where was she?

Class was just a minute away from starting, and Clare was nowhere to be found. Eli shrugged it off, hoping maybe she had gotten her schedule changed and he wouldn't have to see her – at least in first period.

The teacher, Mr. Samuels, began class. He introduced himself and passed out some handouts (a syllabus, a vocabulary sheet, the lunch menu for the month, and other various home-room-required handouts) while Eli stared at the clock the whole time. Where was she?

Suddenly, the door swung open. Clare rushed in; her skirt was wrinkled, her hair was messy, and her cheeks were flushed. Eli felt like dying.

"Ms. Edwards," Mr. Samuels eyed her, "you are five minutes late. Detention the rest of the week."

"Sorry sir," Clare said on a breath.

She glanced around. The only seat available was the one next to Eli. Eli wanted to die. He couldn't believe it.

"Hey," he turned to the kid on the other side of him, "wanna switch seats?"

"Mr. Goldsworthy!" Mr. Samuels was clearly not amused.

"Sorry sir," Eli chewed on his lower lip as Clare took her seat next to him.

During class, one of their assignments was to introduce themselves to the people sitting around them.

"Hey," Clare scooted her chair closer to Eli's desk, "how are you?"

"I don't believe I got the memo that you cared."

"I do care," Clare sighed, and glanced up at the clock on the wall, "I'm doing well. I am with Jake now. My mom married his dad and so we're living together…"

"Fantastic."

"It is, isn't it?" Clare didn't let the sarcasm stop her, "I just have such a good feeling about this year. Don't you? I just feel like this is my year. I just…I can't believe how great I feel."

"I imagine after having sex, you'd feel good."

"Excuse me?"

"That's why you were late, right?" Eli asked, raising an eyebrow, "You and the jockstrap went at it, didn't you?"

"Eli!"

"What?" Eli shrugged, "Just putting two and two together."

"We…it's none of your business! What I was going to say is, I feel great and I have an amazing guy in my life, and I just know that this is going to be my year."

"I'm happy for you," Eli's voice was bitter.

"I was thinking…maybe since it's a new year with new beginnings, you and I could…well…try to be friends again."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, it's just a fresh start, you know. It'd be nice to just be friends again. You were my number one guy for quite awhile, Eli. I don't want to lose you."

"You lost me. You lost me a long time ago…"

"Eli…"

"You want to be friends with me? Clare, you broke my heart and every day I think of you, and every day, you break my heart over and over again. And you come over and ask me to be your BFF?" Eli laughed an acrimonious laugh, "Screw that!"

I can tell you're lying when your lips move
Cause of one lie it's not me it's you
It's left me less than zero
Beat down and bruised
I can't see him with you
Why'd you go and break what's already broken
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him
How long till this goes away
Why'd you go and break what's already broken
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him
How long till this goes away
How long till this goes away

"I just want to forget her, Adam. She had the nerve to ask me to be her friend!"

"I know," Adam took a bite of his sandwich, "but she does seem happy. Look at her over there with Jake. Maybe it's for the best."

"Yeah," Eli scowled, "maybe. I just want the pain of it to go away. When will it go away?"

"You loved her," Adam reminded him, "You don't just stop loving a person. It'll take some time for you to really recover…"

"How come she recovered so quickly?"

"I don't know," Adam shook his head, "I really just don't know."

She said she wants to be friends
I took a big step back
She said
She said
She said she's sorry
With one finger
With one finger
I said fuck that

Clare took a bite of her carrot stick and tried to laugh at Jake's joke, but honestly didn't find it funny at all. She felt too broken to laugh anyway. What Eli had said in history class had hurt her…it'd really, really stung…but maybe…just maybe…he had a point.

But she needed Jake. She needed Jake to get her mind off of him, and soon, he'd find someone to get his mind off of her. It's what needed to be done.

If she wasn't with Jake, she'd be thinking of Eli constantly.

He'd already driven her crazy when they were together, and she wasn't going to let him again now that they were apart.