2

Arachnophobia

Pauline didn't bother to check Waluigi's background before letting him into her apartment. Granted, it was a dumb thing to do, but she found it much easier to blame it on the Good Samaritan that lived at the bottom of her heart. She thought that the darn thing was long gone.

Though she never bothered to check who Waluigi was, she did check to make sure that he wasn't tracking dirt on her floor. She had just cleaned earlier today.

Waluigi picked up on that, too. The entire place smelled like it was doused in Lysol or whatever cleaning product that smelled like disinfectant and grape medicine. Pauline led him in and closed the door. She tossed her keys on the counter. They landed perfectly on the stack of dated People magazines that she never bothered to throw out. Pauline was happy with that toss. She had been practicing.

"I didn't quite understand what you meant by 'I don't have a –" Pauline gasped and pointed at him sitting on the couch.

He jumped up and started shouting: "I DIDN'T DO IT, I SWEAR! I DIDN'T!"

Pauline closed her mouth. "What are you – no, I'm talking about the couch. You're soaking wet. And you sat down. On my couch."

He looked behind him, then he laughed. "It'll dry up."

"I know it will, but you won't. There's a bathroom to your right. Don't go into the room to your left."

Pauline knew that after she said that, he was apt to go into that room to the left and find out exactly what was in there.

But, shockingly, he did not go into that left room and trudged right on over to the bathroom on the right. Pauline was sort of impressed, but that feeling passed as the bathroom door closed and another roll of thunder broke the sound barrier. This storm is getting pretty bad, Pauline thought. Good thing I got home in time.

She opened the refrigerator and looked around.

Waluigi stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later with a wet towel tossed over his shoulder. Pauline looked up from the counter. "You can put that in the hamper. I'll do the laundry tomorrow, I guess."

He threw the towel over to the hamper, missing it by a mile, but he didn't bother to pick it up.

"It looks like it's starting to clear up outside," Waluigi said.

A lie.

"So, I think that I can go now. . ."

Pauline walked over to the phone on the wall. "If you want to get fried out there, be my guest."

He laughed sarcastically. "I'm serious. I shouldn't waste your time."

"You're not wasting my time, Waluigi. You're my guest in a way, so I will treat you as such." Pauline grabbed a paper menu from the kitchen counter. "Now," she looked at him, "do you like Chinese food?"

The apartment was dark. The lights were turned off for the night, but the light in the hallway outside of the apartment was still on. It was always on.

Waluigi was sprawled out on the couch, watching a TV that had probably one of the crummiest signals ever, but he dealt with it. Wheel of Fortune was on, so it didn't really matter.

Pauline walked into the kitchen and put a dirty bowl in the sink. She turned the water on and started to wash the little bits of white rice down the drain.

"Tomorrow I'll see if I can find you a place to stay."

Waluigi sat up. "Why - wait - you don't have to do that."

"Yes I do," Pauline said with a smile. "You can't stay here forever. Where would you sleep?"

"The couch. The couch is comfy. It's a nice couch."

Pauline laughed. "Nice try, Waluigi, but I'll arrange something for you. You can't sleep on a couch forever." She turned off the water and put the dishes on the dish rack. Then she shook her hands dry. "It'll hurt your back." She walked into the bathroom and closed the door. A little click followed after.

Waluigi's hands covered his face and he let out a long sigh. Why couldn't she just take him in for a little while longer?

The picture on the screen froze. He stood up and banged on the clunky, plastic box.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Waluigi darted over to the bathroom door. "WHAT?! WHAT?!"

"THERE'S A SPIDER IN THE SHOWER! IT'S HUGE! OHMYGOD!"

Waluigi rubbed his forehead. A spider. It's always a spider. "Just wash it away!"

"NOOOO! IT'S ON THE TURNING-THINGY! I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT!"

"Pauline, Pauline, listen to me, it's not going to bite you. Just get a cup of water and –"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT GOING TO BITE ME?! IT HAS FANGS! IT'S A BLACK WIDOW!"

He sighed. "Then let me in."

"NOOO! ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

You're making me crazy. "I won't look. Just let me in and I'll take care of it."

" . . . FINE!" The lock on the door clicked again and the door slowly opened. Pauline held the hue of her towel close to her chest and hid to the side. She was shaking and pale, but Waluigi didn't notice this. He didn't look.

The spider sat quietly on the wall of the shower. It was indeed big – probably around the size of Waluigi's palm. He was about to grab it, but an idea popped into his head.

A wonderful,

nasty,

idea.

"If I get rid of this spider, will you let me stay here longer?"

"What? No! I told you no! Just get rid of the spider! I can do it myself!"

"Then why don't you?"

She paused.

"I have arachnophobia! I can't stand spiders! They make my skin crawl! Kill it! Just kill it!"

"I'm not asking to stay here forever, only until I get back on my feet."

"I guess so! Whatever! Please, just KILL IT!"

Pauline sat on the edge of her bed, hugging her legs close to her chest. The storm had stopped a few hours ago, but she could still hear thunder in the distance. Waluigi was sleeping on the couch in the other room, as he said he would.

Pauline felt like an idiot. Letting a stranger into her home? Letting him stay longer than she expected? All because of a spider.

Well, it was a big spider.

Her good mood was gone. It drifted away with all of her common sense, she supposed.

Maybe this would be a good thing. Maybe she could earn a friend out of this.

And a friend is really what she needed right now.

"Thank you," she called out, loud enough for him to hear in the other room.

There was no response, and that was exactly what she expected from him. Pauline crawled to the top of her bed and pulled back the covers. She wrapped herself in the covers, making her look like a caterpillar in a cocoon. Her eyes landed on the alarm clock on the nightstand.

Before Pauline drifted off to sleep, she could have sworn she heard something. It was almost a whisper, but it was loud enough for her to hear.

"You're welcome."

Legend has it, if you pinch at the air, you can actually FEEL the cliché.

Ah, it was all that I had. I'll be back to my promised schedule of "a few days-ish."

Criticism or not, all reviews are welcome!

- Great Mistake