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Morgana's sleep was not restful. She dreamed of the night she fell down the stairs, in slow agonizing detail. In the darkness after the fall, she heard voices, endless voices: "How could this have happened?"; "I will do everything I can, Sire;" "Morgana is my daughter;" "Ic þe þurhhæle þin licsare mid þam sundorcræftas þære ealdaþ æ!" Then the hazy figure—dark hair, pale face, red, blue and brown . . . Merlin grasping her arm, the shock . . . Merlin—dark hair, pale skin, always wore red, blue and brown. "Arthur asked me to look after you." The fire, a roar, thunder, window shattering . . . these whirled through her mind until she awoke with a gasp.
No, it couldn't be. His voice, the words of the incantation . . . his hair, his face, his clothing. It couldn't be, but it was. Her unconscious mind had pieced the puzzle together for her. Merlin, the annoying, meddlesome, unassuming, clumsy servant had magic. And it was powerful magic. Where? How? He had healed her. Why? He hated her, didn't he? And like her, he was here—the worst place in Albion for a magic user to live. Why? It didn't make sense, any of it.
A thousand questions swirled through her mind. Answers. She needed answers. A look out the window told her it was far too early to seek them now. But she knew the paths he took through the castle; she could intercept him at any point in the coming day. First thing in the morning, he would be hers for questioning. First thing in the morning, she would have her answers.
xxxXxxx
Morgana sat in a chair at Arthur's bedside. Merlin had to be the reason he and the prince always arrived home from quests unscathed. He never even wore armor. But why protect Arthur? What was in it for him? So she waited—and a little sleeping spell ensured that Arthur stayed asleep.
She waited only a little while longer before the door opened to reveal Merlin's back. He had a tray in his hands. As he closed the door he yelled out, "Rise and shine! It's time—" he cut off abruptly as he saw her sitting there. "What are you doing here?" He quickly crossed to the table and sat the tray down, his eyes never leaving her.
A quick spell locked the door. She stood and smirked at him. "Well first off, I wanted to thank you," she replied.
"You—what?" She'd caught him off guard; he was totally confused.
"You saved my life. With magic."
His eyes went wide with shock. "No, I didn't. What reason would I have? My life would be less complicated if you were out of it."
"Yes, I was wondering that myself. And I intend to find out. Now." She raised her hand, as if to cast a spell.
He flinched. "What makes you think I have magic?"
She dropped her hand. It was fun to see him flinch. "While I was dying, I felt a strong magical presence near me. I didn't recognize it at first. That presence partially awoke my senses. I could hear and somewhat see the person who saved me. And he sounded and looked like you. And after last night when you tried to stop me, my mind put it together in a dream."
"I'm just a simple peasant from a small village in the middle of nowhere. What could I know of magic?"
"Shall we find out?" She withdrew a dagger from a sleeve and moved to stab Arthur. Merlin was too far away to stop her conventionally, so he'd have to . . . suddenly her hands stopped in mid-air. She couldn't move them, so she looked toward Merlin to see his eyes fading from gold to blue. "I knew it! Why—"
"You will not harm him!" He said forcefully, cutting her off. Morgana blinked. He suddenly stood straighter, his arm out toward her. His face was hard, furious. He fairly radiated power. She closed her eyes, and she could feel it—that cold presence that had been in the room with her when she was healed.
"Please release me. I don't want to hurt Arthur; I just wanted to see you react!" she cried. "I swear!"
"Swear on the Old Religion."
"I swear on the Old Religion that I will never harm Arthur Pendragon." The dagger flew from her hands and embedded into the door. At the same time, her arms continued their downward arc to hit Arthur. He stirred, but didn't wake.
Merlin lowered his hand and folded his arms across his chest. "All right. Now you know. Yes, I saved your life. Don't make me regret it."
"But why?"
"Why what?" He looked genuinely puzzled.
"Why did you save my life?"
He looked down at the floor. "It's complicated."
"How so? You hate me, you would never save me." She moved closer.
"You didn't see everyone when they thought you were dying. Gwen was inconsolable. Arthur couldn't focus and kept hitting things. And Uther . . . I've never seen him so mired in grief. Not even when you were 'taken' for a year. They love you Morgana, even though they don't really know you."
"But they'd condemn me if they knew what I am."
"Would they? You just decided that they would, then went ahead and betrayed them. You didn't even give them a chance."
"But Uther hates everything to do with magic."
"But he loves you. Don't you think that might make him stop and think for a minute?"
"I can't believe you of all people are defending him. Don't you hate him?"
"You'd think I would, wouldn't you?" He put up a hand to rub the back of his neck. "It's more that I pity him. A once great king corrupted by hatred. But Arthur loves him and he's not quite ready to be king yet. If Uther died now, it would throw off Arthur's destiny."
"Destiny? What destiny? Does it have anything to do with why you protect him?"
"Figured that out, did you? Oh by the way—he doesn't usually sleep this long . . . did you do something to him?"
"Sleeping spell." She smirked. "Now, about this destiny?"
"I don't suppose you've heard of any prophecies concerning the Once and Future King?"
"Morgause told me some. She dismissed them as fairytales."
"She would. Hmmph." He rolled his eyes. "The Once and Future King, aided by the powerful warlock Emrys, will restore magic to the land and unite all the lands of Albion. This will bring about a golden age of peace and prosperity. Arthur will be that king."
"Arthur? You must be joking. He hates magic as much as his father." She glanced at the figure on the bed.
"Does he? Don't you see how much he's changed? He's not nearly as prat-like as when I first came here. And no, I'm not taking the credit for that."
"Does he know about your magic?"
"Well no, but he needs time to learn that magic can be used for good, not just evil. He's starting to shake off Uther's influence. I told you there was another way, but you and Morgause aren't helping with that."
"I never thought . . ."
"No, you didn't. And that's my fault. I should have told you about my magic when you first came to me, but I was scared. So you ran off to Morgause who taught you that vengeance is the only way to achieve your goals. But it's not—it only poisons you until you're consumed with hate."
"But she loves me, and she's taught me how to use my magic."
"What has she taught you? Has she taught you how to heal? Has she taught you how to defend those weaker than you? Has she taught you how to create? Or has she taught you how to attack, to destroy? Does she really love you or is she just using you to achieve her goals?"
She cast her eyes down, thinking. What were her goals? What had they been before Morgause took her away? She wanted to hurt Uther, to destroy him, but everyone in Camelot had been asleep. Suffering? Dying? She'd wanted freedom, yes, but not at the expense of her friends, her family. Somehow she'd come to believe everyone with magic needed to be freed and that killing Uther and bringing Camelot to its knees was the only way. A lot of people would be hurt that way. Innocent people, magical and non-magical. Was it worth it? She wasn't so sure anymore. And here was Merlin, who used to be her friend, fighting for the same thing, but differently. "I—I don't know anymore."
He saw her doubt, and walked over to her and took her hands gently. She didn't try to shake him off. "Morgana, it's not too late to stop going down the path of hate." He lifted her chin with a hand. "You can join me—help Arthur see the good magic can do. If anyone can do it, it's you. You have the natural compassion and strength to change his mind. I know you do."
Her mind was spinning. What was happening to her? "I—I need to think. Time. I need time to think."
"Of course. I really should wake Arthur anyhow." His eyes zeroed in on her bracelet. He knew it helped her sleep because it was enchanted. What if it had other enchantments on it? "Before you go, would you mind if I examined your bracelet for a bit? I can return it by this evening."
She looked puzzled, but handed him the bracelet. "Yes, that's fine." She started to turn for the door.
"Oh, Morgana." She paused. "Whenever you want to talk again, you know where to find me." Just as she reached the door, he called out softly, "I believe in you."
xxxXxxx
When Morgana reached her chambers, she found Gwen pacing anxiously. "My Lady! Where have you been? And you're dressed? Wh—"
"Gwen." She had to stop her rambling before she worked herself into a tizzy. "I woke early and couldn't get back to sleep, so I dressed myself and went for a walk." That excuse had never failed her, and it was even true.
"Well. Okay then. Your breakfast is on the table, and in an hour you have—"
Morgana cut her off again. "Gwen. Would you please tell whomever concerned that I won't be coming? I have a headache and fear it's from my lack of sleep. I feel I need to lie down for a few hours to recover. I don't wish to be disturbed."
"Of course, My Lady. I'll see to it right away. Would you like me to ask Gaius for a remedy?"
"No, thank you."
"As you wish. Have a good rest." Gwen inclined her head and left the room.
Morgana walked over to her bed and fell on it, face down. The way her mind was whirling almost felt like a headache, but she really just wanted to scream. She rolled onto her back. Time to sort out these thoughts.
Was what Merlin said about Morgause true? Was Morgause just using her? She remembered back to when she first saw Morgause. She could have killed Arthur, but didn't. Then Arthur went to see her to fulfill his promise. But he'd come back very angry, walking through the halls like he wanted to kill someone. He'd gone into the council room like that, but had come out nearly sobbing. But he never talked about what had happened. She'd seen Uther, Merlin, Gaius, and Leon outside the chamber too, and none of them had talked. But if Merlin was sincere in wanting to help her, he would tell her, wouldn't he?
And then there was the poisoning. She'd trusted him. They'd worked together for the common good several times. Why would he turn around and kill her? He'd said he hadn't wanted to, but she'd taken that as a lie to keep her from revealing the poisoning. Was there another reason he'd done it? What was it? If he wanted her to believe him about Morgause, he'd have to give her some answers.
She thought about what he'd said about Morgause only teaching her dark magic. So now she thought back to her year with Morgause. After she'd recovered from the poisoning, Morgause had taught her about magic. Morgana learned to sense it within herself and others. How to focus on getting it to do what she wanted. She taught her how to summon objects, manipulate the elements, cast protective shields for herself, and spells to attack others or destroy objects. Oh my . . . those were offensive, dark magic. She didn't even know the word for "create." And healing? She only knew how to mend small wounds- cuts, bruises, scrapes –nothing more serious. She could do these things, but she realized she didn't really have control. Last night she'd gotten angry and that emotion triggered the magic that threw Merlin against the wall. That was dangerous for many reasons!
There was no other option. She had to talk to Merlin again; everything seemed to come back to him. Why is that? He was just a servant . . . who happened to have powerful magic and managed to thwart her and Morgause at every turn. And why did he keep that magic a secret from her? She could have used his support when she'd been so scared of her magic. It seems that her answers to her questions had only led to more questions.
She found that her thoughts were more ordered now, and it really had made her tired. So she took off her shoes and settled underneath the covers. Sleep came easily.
xxxXxxx
Morgana woke to the sound of her door opening; it was Gwen. She carried a tray, presumably with lunch on it. "Hello Gwen."
Gwen gasped and put a hand to her chest. "Oh, Morgana, you startled me. I didn't know you were awake. Did I wake you?"
"No, it's all right Gwen. I feel pretty well-rested now."
"Oh good. I've brought lunch. Oh, I forgot to ask—how's your headache?"
"Gone completely, thank you. And lunch sounds really good right now!"
"All right then." Gwen took the food off the tray and settled it onto the table. "Would you like a bath afterwards? Or maybe just a change of clothes?"
"Yes, let's change my clothes. And Gwen, would you mind visiting Gaius and asking him for a sleeping draught? Then you can come back and help me change."
"Of course Morgana."
"Thank you Gwen. I don't know what I'd do without you." Gwen left the room. Good. Merlin should be back in the physician's chambers by now—he had a break in the early afternoon. Gwen's visit should send the message that Morgana wanted to talk to him this evening. And we won't be interrupted this time, she though deviously.
xxxXxxx
Merlin was indeed back in the physician's chambers. He routinely came back here after delivering Arthur's lunch, to eat his own and see if Gaius needed assistance. Lunch had been consumed and Gaius had left, but he remained sitting at the table. It was a good time to examine Morgana's bracelet.
He pulled the bracelet out of his jacket pocket and turned it around in his hands. It was beautifully designed—Gaius had told him the tree represented the house of Gorlois. Morgause had gotten it from her mother and had given it to Morgana later, probably after her duel with Arthur.
Now to see what made it work. He stilled his hands, then closed his eyes to relax. There was his magic, humming through his body, warm and comforting. He directed it to focus through his "sixth sense"—the one that detected magical people and objects. Concentrating on the bracelet, he "felt" the sleep spell Morgause had used—it worked so well because Morgause had made it specific to Morgana. But there was something else there underneath the sleep spell, something that—
There was a knock on the door which snapped Merlin out of his trance-like state. He reflexively dropped the bracelet and grabbed a nearby rag to toss over it. Glancing at the door, he called out ,"Enter," and watched Gwen come in.
"Hey Merlin," she said.
"Gwen, hey. What can I do for you?" He replied as he stood.
"Oh, nothing for me, thanks. But Morgana asked me if she could get a sleeping draught tonight. She didn't sleep well last night."
"Ah, I see. Tell her I'll bring it to her tonight, no problem." He did see. This must be Morgana's way of requesting his presence so they could talk again. He knew she didn't really need the draught, so his reply would reassure her that he'd be there.
"Thanks Merlin. Enjoying your afternoon break huh?"
"Yeah, it's amazing I got one today. The prat has really laid it on me. You don't think you could get him to ease up a bit, could you?" He asked with a cheeky grin.
Gwen blushed. "Sorry Merlin, I don't think even I can influence him that much."
He chuckled. "Well I thought I'd give it a shot. Can't blame me for trying."
"No, I really can't," she sighed. "I'd better get back to Morgana. She's been a bit out of sorts today and needs some extra pampering. Thanks for the help." I'll bet she's out of sorts.
"You're welcome. See you later."
"Bye Merlin." With that, she was out the door.
Merlin turned back to the table and picked up the bracelet again. He went back to his room, both to avoid further interruption and to retrieve his spell book. Closing the door behind him, he walked over to his bed, knelt down and retrieved the spell book. He sat on the bed and again extended his sixth sense. There was the sleep spell; he focused harder to feel past it. Ah, there it is, the spell underneath. He prodded further then gasped as he felt what this second spell was about. It was dark, sinister magic designed to change someone's very nature—in this case it would gradually, slowly change the wearer's outlook from positive to negative. Love would turn to hate, light to darkness, compassion to bitterness, and so forth.
He came out of his "trance" again and started to think. A spell like this would explain how she came to sympathize with Morgause without anyone seeing the change. The change was wrought slowly, like a poison designed to kill gradually. As he thought about it, that's pretty much what it was. Morgause had been so clever. She knew if Morgana had changed suddenly her friends would have noticed. He doubted Morgana knew this—this kind of control would infuriate her, violate her sense of independence. As it was, he now had a very compelling argument to win Morgana back to his side.
The outer door banged open again. This time he heard Gaius's voice call out, "Merlin."
"Gaius, back here," he replied to the old physician.
Gaius walked back to Merlin's room and entered. Merlin had started flipping through his book to find something like he'd just encountered with the bracelet. "What's this then?" Gaius asked.
Suddenly Merlin stopped turning pages. He took a moment to read through what he'd found. "Here, Gaius, look." He stood and showed Gaius the page he'd stopped on.
"Gebære gewylde? Mind control? To what does this relate?"
Merlin reached back to the bed for the bracelet. "Morgana's bracelet. It's enchanted not only with a sleeping spell, but one designed to change someone's nature. In this case, it changes from positive to negative."
Gaius took the bracelet from him to examine closely. "Well I don't have your senses, but I can definitely fell the sleeping spell. If you're right, this explains her change from good to evil."
"This spell causes the change so slowly that no one around her would notice. And now that I think about it, it's really more like heart control."
"So we have to figure out how to break the spell."
"Yes, and hopefully that will stop it and reverse its effects on her. We could have the kind, compassionate Morgana back!"
"Don't get too far ahead of yourself. We still have to find the counter-spell. How much time do you have left before you have to go back to Arthur?"
"We'd better get going! Hey, whatever happened to that book the goblin used to frame me? It could be useful."
"Uh . . ." Gaius cleared his throat. "I generously offered to dispose of it. I buried it in my grain barrel."
Merlin gave him the raised eyebrow look. "Gaius, you rebel you."
"Well, at least I anticipated the need for it and saved it."
"True. Let's have a look at it then. I'll search my book, you search that one."
Gaius went into the outer chamber to retrieve the book while Merlin sat back down on his bed. When Gaius returned he sat next to him. They each began looking through their respective books, pausing now and then to read further.
Finally Merlin closed his book with a growl of frustration. "Nothing helpful in here besides that one page."
Gaius kept paging through his book. "It may take a combination of spells, or we may have to invent one."
"I really hope not. That really hurts my brain."
"What brain?" Gaius teased.
"Oh ha ha," Merlin replied. He glanced out the window. "Looks like my time is about up. I'd better get to Arthur before he can think of something really horrible for me to do."
"I'll keep looking while you're gone. You'll be back for dinner?"
"Unless I get that extra chore. Hopefully you'll find something. I'd like to remove that spell before I give the bracelet back to her. She's expecting it back tonight."
"That doesn't give us much time. But this book is older than yours, so I'm optimistic. See you later then."
"Bye Gaius." And with a wave, Merlin was off to start Arthur's evening.
Thanks for reading! :)