~ No character ownage here!

~ I'd like to thank my few reviewers of this sad story of insanity. Remember…it is your fault if you come back and read more of this story! =)

CLEZ: Awe…you are scared? I'm sorry! After I wrote it and put it on here, I was like…ah…what the heck is this? Please have pity on me…I'm deranged and I am having such writer's block for my other story. Help me…help me…or put me away! Still loving all your fantastic stories, but you know that already =)

ROSES-R-RED: And violets are blue…and you would write something stupid like this if your brain were stuffed in your shoe. Actually, I took it out of there cause it was really a dumb place to store it in the first place. But thanks for the review. Glad you were slightly amused by my idiotic humor. At least I will have company when I am finally institutionalized.

SETHOZ: Glad you found at least an element of humor in this story. What's really sad is that I am going on with this junk! Ugh…the agony!

SILVER WILDCAT: Yes…I may have to kill Nemo especially if he ever finds that tutu he's been begging for. Sorry to show you Nemo in such a strange light. I just figured that he needed some humor and some color because he was a very serious character in the movie. And he looks fab in pink!

THE INVISIBLE STEF: I can't believe it! Someone likes this junk! Oh…red circle blush on my cheeks…I feel so happy. I promise to include Jekyll and Skinner in this next installment of idiocy. Thank you very much for the insane laughter! I appreciate it =)

RAYNE: Another one with a warped sense of humor! Wonderful! Thank you for your liking of it. And we girls admire Mina…we don't love her! Right? Glad you understand were I am coming from and I shall try to make this chapter less disturbing and more…well…warped. Hm…lost in foggy thoughts…oh….I am back. Anyway…much thanks to you for the good review. I only got a few.

ANACALAGON: Thank you! I know it is bad. I scare myself with some of the junk I write. Hope you read and enjoy the next chapter =)

GODDESS OF THE BLOODMOON: One of my favorite reviewers =) I hand you two cookies and half a cup of milk…ran outta it! Oh…poor Dorian…major 'please' on that one! He needs to be brutalized by someone…(remembering how hot he was)…okay…so I won't be so mean in the next chapter. Okay? Anyway, you know you are so sweet in reviewing all my stupid stories. I am so trying to update Common Differences, but I am in the writer's block…house 405…hope no one visits me there. Not a nice neighborhood! But…did you call this fic weird! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…slap in the head to you! Hope you update your fic soon. It is getting very interesting. Mucho thanks =)

ENDURO: I said to myself…what will really gross my friend Enduro out? Hm…thinking…and then I got an idea and I put it on here. I have succeeded in doing what I planned. No evil laughter…just a large smile on my face. Sorry to disgust! I shall talk to you on Yahoo. And I give you a cookie because you actually reviewed this, Vesica didn't. I guess she was too embarrassed that she actually read this. She did tell me in an email that maybe I need a bit more sleep. Hm…no…more sleep would bore me. Anyway, later tater!

20XD6: Let me finish that thought for you…What the F – U – C - …Okay! Anyway…as my little English friend would say….Cheers!

And now…the most unfunniest…stupidest…dumbest…okay, on with the show.

Skinner and Jekyll sat in the large library of the Nautilus, their heads paused over a large jar of…

"What are those?" I asked them…they both looked at me with anger in their eyes.

Wait a minute, rewind on that one, I wanted them to look at me with manic smiles on their faces; smiles that stretched from one ear to the other.

They turned to look at me with…hm…now they just look scary as hell…nevermind.

Okay, so they turned to look at me with grim faces.

"What do they look like, love?" Skinner said as he shook his head lightly, "Marbles, eh?

Jekyll shrugged his shoulders, moved his behind on the chair, but still kept his eyes on the marble jar, "Two hundred and Four." He said with a twinkle in his eye. Slowly, he leaned back into the high-backed chair, his hands resting in his lap as he gave Skinner a soft nod of his head. He looked very sure of his guess.

"No, it 'as ta be about four hundred and nine." Skinner said, but he looked rather unsure of his answer.

"Hyde wants to guess." Jekyll said softly.

Skinner paused a hand at his ear, flicking his lobe with his finger, "That would be cheating."

"He guesses One Million." Jekyll said in a hushed voice.

Skinner shrugged his shoulders as he tilted his head, "Alright. That's a fine and idiotic guess. I'll go with it."

"Can I guess." I asked them.

They didn't look happy.

"You're the author, you already know how many are in the jar. No you can't guess!" Jekyll said to me with a furrowed brow.

(Note to self: Beat the living hell out of Jekyll some time later in the story. Much later so it doesn't look suspicious. Or now so I don't have to remember to beat the hell out of him later. Ugh…I'll just kill him off in my other story.)

So, where was I, oh…yes, the two brainy boys are battling over a little jar of marbles. So…(evil smile…removing spinach from teeth…now it is an evil smile) I guess it is time to bring in Tom Sawyer. Doesn't he love marbles?

He came into the room, his sandy hair shifting about on his head like…wait…he seemed to have changed his style. The hair on his head is plastered to his skull. Yuck!

"I know!" Tom said in anger as he seated himself at the table with Skinner and Jekyll, "Nemo seems to buy really cheap shampoo and towels that rub the skin off your ass."

"K-mart!" Nemo sang as he danced in on his tippy toes. He did a little twirl and then dropped into a large chair by the fireplace. He closed his eyes as a stupid little smile curved his lips.

Tom grumbled, "Does he have to be in this scene?"

(I ponder this for a very brief moment…actually I drink down a nice hot cup of coffee and take a shower and mow the lawn and…oh, right. I am to be pondering.)

"Yes." I said to him with a nod of my head, "He amuses me."
All of a sudden Tom noticed the jar of marbles, "Those are mine."

"No they aren't." said Jekyll as he and Skinner clutched the large jar in their hands, "We found them."

"In my room!" Tom roared, his face turning crimson with rage, but his hair still looked stupid, "Give them back to me!"

"Only if you can guess how many are in this jar." Jekyll said, "And…wait…did Nemo just twirl into this room?"

Everyone looked over to where the little Indian sat, but their stares broke away from him when Mina and Dorian came into the room. Mina was flushed and Dorian was grinning from ear to ear.

"Could the two of you be anymore obvious as to what you just did?" I asked them.

(Of course I know what they just did because I am the author. I will leave your dirty little minds to brew up your own ideas.)

Dorian rolled his eyes and walked over to lean on the chair that Nemo sat on. He looked down at the Indian's head, "Where's your turban?" he asked as he drummed his fingers on the back of the chair, "And what the hell is spelled in your hairline?"

"Lover." He said and jumped from the seat to run over to Mina. There he kneeled at her feet and kissed her hands, "I carved 'Lover' into my hairline just for you."

(I ignore Mina's glare)

"What the hell did you do that with, Nemo?" Tom asked as he slid his hand over the Indian's scalp, "It looks like you torched your head first and then you carved the word. But you spelled it wrong the first time, because you are a really big asshole, so you crossed that one out and then you carved it again. Jesus! What the hell is wrong with you, man?"

Nemo bowed against Mina's skirt, "I only answer to Mina."

Mina, hands still clutched by Nemo, glared at me again, "Make him gay so that he will leave me alone!" she hissed and I noticed that she had spinach for dinner also.

Dorian looked disgusted when he noticed her green teeth, "Dear God!" he said dramatically, everyone paused with looks of shock on there faces, "I look stunning tonight." He moved over to a large mirror and stayed there the rest of this chapter.

Jekyll and Skinner were now counting the marbles as Tom stared at them in anger, "Two Hundred and Two." He said, "And if my guess is right, I get all those back."

Mina finally got loose from Nemo and seated herself at the table. Nemo now lay on the floor, his face pressed into the carpet.

"This carpet is much nicer than my carpet in my office." He mumbled into the rug under his lips, "Shall someone help me up?"

Quatermain, back from the dead, six little shrunken heads grasped in his hand, came into the room. He stepped right onto Nemo's head and stood there, "Wow, this carpet sure is lumpy." He said as he smiled at everyone.

"Man, that shrunken head sure looks like me." Tom said as he reached out to touch the head. Quatermain pulled it away from him and stepped onto Nemo's back, "And I think it has better hair."

"I would have expected more excitement. I mean, I am back from the dead." He said, but they all shrugged their shoulders at him.

"It's been done before. Dorian beat ya to it." Tom said, his hand still reaching for the head.

Quatermain eyed Dorian, "Ugh…that asshole." He said softly, "Where can I store…" he looked about, "Where the hell is that little Indian bloke. The one with the really bad breath and the nude photo's of me."

"Under you." Jekyll said and Quatermain stepped off the little man.

Nemo now stood and did a lovely split for Quatermain, "You can put the cursed heads in my beard." He said and Quatermain quickly stuffed the six heads into Nemo's beard.

"Cursed?" Mina asked, but then stood up and kissed Quatermain hungrily. Dorian turned from the mirror, but I reminded him that he was to stay by the mirror until the end of this idiotic chapter. He scoffed, still looking like a finely carved statue, and turned back to the mirror.

"She is only supposed to give me tongue." Dorian said to his reflection. His reflection…wait a minute…where the hell did Dorian's reflection go?

"Visiting Hyde." The reflection said from a shiny jar across the room. Hyde was standing next to the reflection grinning, "He's a good friend."

Dorian placed his hands on his hips, "I need my reflection or I can't see how lovely I look."

(I ponder this, but give Dorian no reply.)

Mina sat back down, cleared her throat and took a guess at the marbles.

"I guess Five hundred and Nine and if that is right, our dear author has to make Nemo crave someone else." She eyed me and then went about looking in her little compact mirror in order to wipe the spinach off her teeth.

(Hm…that sucks. Dorian will make a splendid target.)

"What!" Dorian said with wide eyes, "Target?"

"K-mart!" Nemo danced around the room, "There is a K-mart on this ship you know."

"Five Hundred and Nine!" both men shouted.

( I cringe at the answer and wonder why the heck I didn't pause this stupid story and steal some of the marbles.)

Nemo jumped from the carpet, touched the ceiling with his hand and then twirled over to Dorian. There he stood batting his lashes at Dorian, "Lover?"

Dorian eyed the Indian, "What the hell is this?" he asked as Nemo did a few jumps and twirls around the room, "Did he just call me lover?"

Mina was quite happy with this new development, "Off my back." She said and left the room.

Tom grabbed some marbles and ran out after Mina, but came flying back into the room when she punched him in the face.

Jekyll and Skinner collected the marbles back into the jar and headed out the door also.

Dorian took down the mirror and lugged it to his room.

No one seemed to care much about Quatermain and his cursed heads. So he pulled up a chair, laid his head down and went to sleep. Coming back from the dead was a very tiring ordeal.

And Nemo twirled himself right into the next chapter.