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AEON MISFITS
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A X-Men Evo Misfits crossover by Spaceman
newfiespaceman yahoo.ca
www dot fanfiction dot net slash spaceman
Written from December 01, 2007 to December 03, 2007
Edited January 26, 2008
DISCLAIMER
X-Men Evolution is the property of Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Marvel, and Co.
GI Joe is the property of Hasbro, Marvel, and other companies.
Misfits is the property of Red Witch. Permission Given.
Original chars belong to me.
This is a work of fan fiction for non-profit entertainment purposes only.
No profit or offense intended.
Author's Notes
KEY
Sound LOUD SOUND
telepathy mental command
#phone# Computer Screen
(1) Warning 1st chapter is wordy, a lot of intros. For those who haven't read Red Witch
(2) Most OC names come from "most popular names" and "most common surnames" lists.
(3) Foreign languages come from Internet Translator.
EPISODE 02: Babies Day Out
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THE PIT, Florida, USA 11:05 AM
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Nicholas Dark is on a couch watching TV, when Toad and Wavedancer walk in.
"Hey Nick" says Althea with a smirk. "You managed to escape from the Triplets?"
"Thank God for a Healing Factor! Those little maniacs tried electro-shock to jog my memory."
"Why did it take less than an hour?" says the mutant mermaid, "They usually keep a 'guinea pig' for at least a few hours unless your very boring."
"According to the Doc, I do more than just heal. I have a bunch of bonus abilities. Foreign Chemical Immunity, Immunity to Disease, Retarded Aging, Enhanced Senses, and Superhuman Stamina, Reflexes, and Agility. I also have a minor reactive adaptation ability, which allows me to adapt to harmful stimulus and shutdown my pain receptors if the stimulus becomes too intense."
"Huh?" says Toad
"What it means Toad is when the three maniacs were shocking me, my body rapidly built up a resistance. I'm now immune to tazers and super-charged cattle prods. Don't ask."
Scarlet Witch and Xi walks in, followed by Blob, Avalanche, Firestar,and Dragonfly. Quicksilver whose limping, walks in last. He's holding his ass and glaring at his fraternal twin.
"What did Quickie do now?"
"Claudius, Beaky, and Tadpole were getting vaccinations with the other babies, when the moron came in a scared them. It took an hour to calm them down."
"Actually, I think they were faking the last 45 minutes." says Xi
"Jinx was helping Bree and she got made" say Lance wincing at the memory, "and she was still holding the needles."
Nicholas remembers the chart the male Joes and Misfits gave him when he learning the basics. The Misfit and Joe Female Avoidance Month (MAJFAM) Chart which listed the cycles of every female on the Base and when to avoid them at all cost.
"You dumbass."
Suddenly, Trinity comes in holding a covered plate.
"We have new inventions." says Daria, with the ponytail on the right spoke.
"Actually, it's addition to an old invention." says Quinn, with the ponytail on the left spoke.
"Teleport badges." says Brittany, with pigtails.
"We already have watchs." says Toad
"The badges leave your hands free." says Daria, "You can wears bracers or sensor gear during a mission."
"There made of nanofibers that meld with your clothing." says Quinn, "When not in use, they are stored as cookie-size discs"
"The bad guy would have to strip you to get them and they can be hidden as a pattern on your clothing. ." says Britanny with a smile, "We're working on a tattoo version that binds to the skin instead of cloth."
Nicholas lifts the lid on the plate and sees a plate of circular cookies, the same sort eaten by babies.
"Oh ."
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NYC Zoo11:59 AM
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There is a small flash in the monkey cage and Angel Salvadore appears with one of the "cookies" in her mouth. As her mouth opens the disc falls down and melds into her jumper becoming a patch..She's about to cry out when she sees the monkeys and giggles.
The monkeys scared by the flash quickly begin to enjoy the presence of the strange infant.
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A few meters away, another group of strange people appear. They include Cobra Commander, Dr. Mindbender, Tomax, Xamot, Destro, and five Cobra Vipers
"Dr. Mindbender, are you sure this will work??"
"Yes Cobra Commander. The formula with cause mutations in the primates similar to natural mutations in humans. We select a group of ape, give them powers, and control there primitive minds with the new cybernetic gear. A cheap supply of superhuman soldiers."
"Why can't we use this stuff on humans?"
"Human cells mutate and continue to mutate out of control. They become aggressive, spread threw the subject, and become hostile to other cells. Our last human test subject became a mass of different cancer cells and necrotic tissue."
"Why don't we use lab monkey?"
"Because my last lab assistant was a member of PETA." says Dr. Mindbender turning a shade of red, "He shot me, destroyed my computer, freed my test animals, and burnt my CD collection!!"
"I remember the bill."
"I've loaded the formula into darts which can be fired from those air guns I gave each of you. Select A for the Formula and Select B for a Tranq"
"Why are we doing this at the Zoo instead of just stealing the apes?" asks Destro
There is a long pause.
"A glitch in a formula, OK!" says Dr. Mindbender, "The formula needs to be injected before the tranq or it will become inert. If you wait too long after injecting the formula, the tranq will become less effective and they need to be unconscious or the pain of the mutation will drive them insane and uncontrollable."
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Lil' Angel is laughing at the acrobatics of one of the monkeys, when a red-tipped dart hits him in the shoulder cause it a screech before a second blue dart hits him causing him to fall to the cage floor. Angel is very scared, but she's hidden by the tree leaves.
As Tomax and Xamot use thermal knives to cut the cage wire to enter and retrieve the monkey, Angel notices a toy ball and remembers what Claudie did when pickle head took one of his toys.
The ball hits Tomax in the face causing him to step back onto a piece of rotten fruit. The elite COBRA soldier slips and falls hard, breaking the cheap plastic air guns and driving one of the tranq darts into his side. Tomax is out like a light, either from the fall or the drug.
"Tomax" yells Xamot, "Filthy little monkey!"
Xamot forgetting he's holding the air gun and not his laser pistol, fires a couple shots into the trees. The darts, obeying "Sorting Algorithm Of Mortality" misses Angel by wide margins bounces off several tree limbs and flies back towards Xamot.
Xamot avoids one dart, but jumps into the path of the second. He collapses on to his brother in way which stain the minds of children that witness it.
Angel looks at her monkey friend, then looks for the faces of the Misfits or Joes.
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Dr. Mindbender and three of the Vipers are near the Gorilla cage. They take sniping position on a walkway over the enclosure. The tour computer replays a message
"The Gorilla are very aggressive this time of year, as it's time for making babies."
Angel is crawling near the bottom of the walkway ladder, when one of her legs gets caught on a cable. A quick yank and she's free to look for help for her monkey friend. That same yank causes a loose piece of lighting to swing free. It smashes one of the Vipers to fall like dominoes and Dr. Mindbender to fall over the railing
The mad scientist lands on something soft, gray, and furry. The former dentist slowly turns to see a very angry silver-back gorilla.
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Cobra Commander is on his knees trying to a fix a spring in his air gun.
"Why is mine broke!?"
"Why don't you take mine, Cobra Commander?" says Destro drinking a six dollar cup of coffee.
"I rather not be here." says Cobra Commander wiping his mask, "Why did I have to come on this mission?"
"Most of our men are on..."
"Angel!"
Cobra Commander and Destro turn to see a group of Misfits arrive and Althea Delgado picking up a dark skinned baby. The two COBRA leaders hide in the bushes next to the Rhino enclosure, Destro's coffee tossed careless.
"What are they doing here!?!?!"
"I do not know, Cobra..."
They here a snort and turn to see a charging adult rhino, coffee steam coming from it's face. The badly mad fence collapses on Destro turning him into a human waffle, while Cobra Commander gets the horn to his rear.
"EEEAAAYYYYAAAAHHHH!!!!!!"
The Misfit group turns to see a Rhino running away with Cobra Commander stuck like a rotten Caramel Apple on a stick! Everyone winces, except Angel whose monkey friend lands next to her on a post, eyes glowing slightly.
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Snake's Garage
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The Dreadnoks are working on there bikes, while Cobra Commander is on his mission. They are using Snake's Garage because it's the closest to the Zoo. They are too busy working and messing up each other lives to notice a flash a few minutes ago behind the gas tank.
Amber is about to wail, but then she notices the shine of the various metal objects and becomes fascinated. She begins to crawl across the metal surfaces of the garage, exploring every part.
"There messed up pretty bad." says the mechanic snake look at each of Dreadnok machines.
"How bad is it,Doc?" says Monkeywrench.
Amber crawls by a bench causing a metal rod to roll and hit a case of beer. The unopened beer slides down a piece of metal resting against the bench and tumbles into the back of a convertible. As it lands, it opens partially and one of the beer slides out. It's quickly followed by a brown paper package that releases a small cloud of powder as it lands.
"You might have to get a few Stockers as these Ratbikes are near dead."
Amber finds a bottle marked "Chain Lube" and gives it a squeeze. The Motorbike chain lubrication oil sprays one of the bike seats. After the spray goes down, she tosses it away and continues to explore.
"I have no idea what you managed to get into the Superchargers, but air flow is down."
Amber finally gets close to the Dreadnok personal vehicles. She looks at all the fascinating shapes inside one of the bikes and picks up a set of very shiny tools. After thinking about sucking on one for a minute, she instead begins to poke them in and out of the machine.
A bolt falls out, followed by oil, followed by a piece of a tube, followed by...
"The Nitrous lines are damaged, which means you could splatter your little brains if you lose your lids."
Amber goes from bike to bike, repeating her actions to produce the same noises.
"The Radiators and fuel pumps should have been replaced a year ago!"
When Snake finishes, the Dreadnoks are in tears. They were bikers long before they were mercenaries and learning that there old machines are in horrible condition cuts deep.
Suddenly, Kelly walks in.
"Mr. Snake is my car ready yet. I need to get to an appointment at.."
He stops seeing the Dreadnoks in Snake's office. He remembers the Cobra goons and screams like a little girl. He runs like a madman, jumps into his convertible, and takes off.
As he goes down the street, he promises himself to go to professionals no matter how much it costs next time. It has to be cheaper than the insanity caused by those bikers. He does notice the cloud of powder he's breathing as he panics.
He sees a red light and slows down and begins to calm his self. The light changes and he begins to go down a hill. He presses the brake, but one of the beer cans is under the pedal
The car fails to make a turn, flies off the road, and slams into a pole crushing the front. Kelly passes out on the air bag. The police soon arrive to investigate the accident and find the Senator, an open case of beer, and package full of drugs in the back seat.
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At the Garage, the Dreadnok got on there bikes when they heard the sound of cop cars.
They didn't get far.
Zartan and his family manage to leap clear before there smoking machines explode into balls of fire. They manage to escape without harm, but there monkey and documents are incinerated.
Ripper's bike is ripped apart and slides into a road sign sending the biker flying into a trash bin.
Buzzer's bike goes out of control and sends him under the machine of a roadside worker. The slide is tight enough that it shaves a line of hair off Buzzer's head.
Torch's bike ignites and he jumps off holding his burning rear end.
Monkeywrench's bike covered in motor oil slides out from under him, causing him to skid across the road and get his head caught in a sewer grate.
Roadpig's bike slows to crawl before stopping in the middle of the road. Then a large truck hits him.
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"Amber!"
Amber finds herself in Dragonfly's warm arms and quickly snuggles.
"What's a mutant baby doing in my Garage?" asks Snake, he doesn't have problems with mutants, but a lot of his clients do and he needs to maintain his rough exterior.
"I'm glad she didn't get hurt!"
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Greenglade Senor Citizen Residence
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Ran slides down the halls of the retirement home. She flows across surfaces and flows down stairs, exploring the funny smelling place. She slides against the temperature controls near an office.
"Did you hear, Jack?" asks a young man in white, "Some politician is here talking about anti-mutant policy. The boss renting the space since they cut the budget"
"I know Gil. A large group of hardcore FOH that didn't jump ship when there boss got shot." says the other man in white, Jack, "There are also those Purity guys that didn't abandon Reverand after that Sunday mess. I have a cousin who grew two more arms after that mess and he is the only member I'm still talking to."
As the two talk, they don't notice a tiny blue hand extend and grabs a couple of pill bottles. Ran shakes her new rattles and continues to crawl/flow down the hall.
As she reaches the meeting hall, she smells the sweet aroma of cookies. She tosses her "rattles" away and slides into the room with the cookies.
The two bottles of pills are thrown into an overhead fan, which manages to break the child-proof caps of the bottles. One bottle hits the rim of a punch bowl, before rolling behind a garbage can, but not before losing the pills into the juice mix
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Nicholas, Arcade, and Firestar arrive at the home to find Ran in the arms of an elderly couple reading her a bed time story. The old couple's children haven't visited in years and there great-grandchildren are already out of school. They don't care if the baby is blue and soft as a water bottle, they just like the company.
"I guess we lucked out." says Nicholas, "I thought I saw a FOH logo outside."
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In the meeting room, the FOH and Purity are acting like inmates at a mental hospital
"I can fly! I can fly! Ahh! I'm not a Mutie!"
"Mutants! Mutants! Everywhere!"
"I don't wanna! I don't wanna!"
"The sky is falling!"
The two orderlies, Jack and Gil, investigate and then notice the plastic bottle behind a trash still containing a few large, round, green pills.
"500mg Citlaz. 270 is a 3 month supply." says Jack, "Powerful."
"Giant Toad! I'm not a fly!! Not a Fly!"
"Where are you mommy? I'm lost mommy.!"
"The sky is falling!"
The orderlies look at each other, leave the way the came in, and lock the door behind them.
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Epilogue
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The PIT
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"I'm so glad there OK!" says Dragonfly hugging Amber
"There Misfits." says Nicholas, "Worry for Babysitters, not the Babies."
"Where's Angel's monkey?" says Blob.
The monkey they found with Angel refused to leave and when they saw the glowing eyes, they decided it better come with them.
"AAAHHHH! BAD MONKEY! DON'T BITE THAT! WAAHHH! THAT EITHER!!!"
"Playing with Beachhead." answers Toad
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Senator Kelly arrives at the Greenglade Senor Citizen Residence. He's a mess from his accident and trying to explain the alcohol and drugs in his car. He managed to "make bail" with a check, but he wonders if this meeting with Purity and FOH is worth it.
He notices the elderly are still in the TV rooms and own rooms instead of the meeting hall.
He notices the door is locked, but the key is still in the lock. With a click the door opens.
"Hungry."
"Giant Chicken."
"BRAAIINNSS!"
The Senator is grabbed by the hands of crazed druggies into the hall before the door is locked behind him. The Senator's screams can be heard from behind the thick door.
END