January 10th 2004

In a blissful dream, surrounded by the comfort of sleep, he was faintly aware of a buzzing noise infiltrating his bliss and as he felt himself being dragged into consciousness, he groaned and rolled over.

His hand groped around the bedside locker for the source of the buzzing, his hand made contact with his phone and he pulled it towards his ear, silencing the buzzing and answering it with a groggy, "Hello?"

"Gerard? Are you sleeping?" came the angry, extremely loud shout from the other end.

He pulled it away from his ear, groaning again, "I was"

"Dude, we have a show in twenty minutes! Is Mikey there? He's not picking-"

"-Shit!" Gerard cut him off as he bolted upright in his bed, "Oh crap, Ray I'm so sorry, I completely forgot! I'll be there!" he scrambled out of bed, clutching his phone between his shoulder and ear as he grabbed a leather jacket from the ground and pulling on an old pair of ripped, red converse.

"Yeah, you will or midget here will kick your ass" Gerard smiled at that. That smile turned into a laugh when he heard a quiet "I heard that!" down the line.

"Right, Ray, I'm leaving now, I'll bring Mikey"

"Mhmm, bye"

"Bye"

He put his phone back into his pocket before ripping open his door.

"Mikey, get up, we gotta go"

He opened the blinds and daylight flooded into the apartment.

"Mikey!"

"I'm up! I'm up!" came the mu8mble from the couch as Mikey stumbled up, positioning his glasses correctly, desperately trying to flatten his hair with his hands.

As Mikey pulled on his trainers, Gerard whipped open the almost empty cupboards in the kitchen with a sickening creak. He grabbed a small bottle of whiskey, shoved it into his jacket's pocket and turned to face Mikey, still struggling with a shoe.

"Come on Mikey, we're getting a cab" and he waited for Mikey to leave the apartment before he locked it behind him and practically sprinted down the three flights of stairs, Mikey close behind him.

By the time he had made it down the flights of stairs, hailed a cab and gotten in, rambling off the address to the driver, he was panting.

"Jesus, Gerard, tired already?" Mikey nudged him playfully, making Gerard groan at him.

"Fuck off Mikey"

"Alcohol and fags?"

"Mikey, fuck off"

"You're gonna die young Gee!" he smirked at his older brother.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Unlike me, I'll still be rockin' when I'm 100!"

"Uhuh"

"What?"

Nothin' Mikes" he said in a sing-song voice.

"What?"

"What?"

"Gerard!" he punched him in the arm and Gerard broke into a fit of laughter.

xXx

By the time they had arrived, paid the driver and ran into the building, they were two minutes early and were met by Ray and Frank standing backstage looking as nervous as hell.

And at that thought he suddenly felt nervous himself.

Scratch that- terrified

A sickening stomach settled in his stomach and he excused himself to the bathroom quickly. With shaking hands he drank the entire contains of the whiskey bottle, savouring the burn in his throat.

He threw the empty bottle away and rinsed his mouth out with the water from the tap of a groggy looking bathroom.

'At least you feel calmer' he thought to himself, 'Not much, but still calmer.'

With one last glanc3e at himself in the mirror, he head out to his band mates, ready to head onstage.

He let them file onto the stage after being announced , shook himself and walked out after them, smiling and waving at the screaming cheers of the crowd; not a huge crowd, but bigger than he had ever been faced with.

He grew more nervous again and as a man onstage, =Brian or Bart or something- asked him questions, he began feeling dizzy.

He fought to keep a hold of himself.

'Focus.'

His had swam as he tried to remain smiling.

'Answer the questions.'

"So I hear you've got an album coming out this year?"

"Yeah"

'Keep smiling'

"What's it called?"

He knew that one, "Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge"

"Oh, any awesome new singles that you're working on?"

He definitely knew that one, "I'm currently working on one called 'The Ghost Of You'."

"Well I'm sure everyone is looking forward to it" he was pretty sure the guy wasn't being genuine but at that moment he wasn't even sure if he nodded.

"Ladies and Gentlemen- MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!"

He got through 'Skylines And Turnstiles' with nothing but a bit of dizziness, but when they went straight into 'Our Lady Of Sorrows' he really began to wonder what it was.

'It's not the alcohol'

Of course it's not the alcohol. He was Gerard Way, and Gerard Way had been drunk. He had been full out crawling-on-his-hands-and-knees-puking-every-few-feet drunk. And right now he was not drunk.

Just as he thought this, his vision blurred and swam as black dots prickled before his eyes. Rushing filled his ears and he found, with a sense of panic, that the lyrics no longer tumbled from his mouth.

He stumbled backwards, eyes wide, ground swimming below him with Frank and Mikey's muffled voices in his ears.

He began to hear laughter and just as he thought that he was going to be sick, his eyes rolled backwards and the ground rushed towards him.