Ok chapter two, second part of the essay like shenanigans arrives almost immediately from the first mostly because I've already written most of the story outline so updates should be pretty regular. I still don't own anything of House, or most of my belongings not even the thirty pounds sitting in my bank account. Hope you've all enjoyed it so far.
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She'd changed over the years; she'd got tougher, more daring and colder. How much of that was his fault he didn't know, in some ways he was proud of her, when she had helped the scientist end his life he had been stunned and irrevocably proud. For the first time she had shown a greater understanding of what it was to help the sick even if it didn't mean to cure. Though there under the surface she was the still same old Cameron, the one that intrigued him, gave him her complete trust and acceptance and sent a growl travelling down from his brain, shooting through his heart and settling in the pit of his stomach where fire erupted in his groin where it was promptly, desperately ignored.
Their relationship had changed irrevocably in four years, she had grown, become confidence if not in her ability as a doctor but in the way she handled House. And he, well he hadn't changed much at all outwardly but nestled deep inside him was something that had moved from pure lust to something gentler. He didn't define it, ignored it as he always did. Cameron was the metaphysical clinic duty of his relationships, occasionally another doctor clocked in under his name and tried to act on his behalf but she had thus far eluded them emotionally. Her heart craved the person that owned the name Dr House, just as Cuddy craved that he'd do his own clinic hours and stopped spitting on the surgeons to prevent surgery. Some things were just habitual to a personality, others were surprises and that is what makes the human mind magnificent. Of course he didn't know how long that could go on before he snapped, or she ended up with her neck snapped. How it came back to haunt him.
Normally Cameron was a person that regarded those who kept their emotions tightly reigned as people who weren't really concerned with the sanctity of life, sure, they could feel the loss of a loved one acutely but it wouldn't render them incapacitated as it had done to her. At her husbands funeral, seeing every thing in slow motion and watching the people that loved him, some sobbing with the kind of brave outward signs of emotion she admired she couldn't understand his friends and even some of his relatives who did not stir or flinch but held their hands loosely and stared at the floor looking almost ashamed that they couldn't cry. In many ways this was where House had affected her most, whilst knowing that not every one was the same she learnt there was a unique sort of bravery in controlling yourself. House did it constantly although not always to the same standard but to be in pain every waking moment of the day and still able to hold a relatively decent conversation (as decent as it could be for House) was something to be deeply admired, and who was to decide the differences between physical and emotion pain?
Despite the changes Gregory House brought about in Allison Cameron there were several allowances she made for herself. She might make attachments far too easily and thus suffer their loss worse than others but it had strengthened her above the normal level, her soul would be perpetually stretched thin but each time the assurance that she had done what was right relieved her. She could mourn the dead, lament those with life in which death would have been a more forgiving alternative and with each stab of pain, the power within her to carry on became stronger eventually giving her the ability to remain focused, delivering terrible news assure in the knowledge that she could bring solace, empathise and it wouldn't destroy her. In remaining attached Allison Cameron finally found the peace and detachment she needed to function not only as a doctor but as a human being.
House watched her as she grew and became more centred, assertive, and much sassier than before. It killed him to know that he had given her some of his cynicism and ruthlessness in getting to the bottom of a conundrum. He thought himself a polluter of everything that was pure, and she had definitely started out that way, but it was also with immense pride that he saw her become a better doctor, more agile as she began to think herself over him, lust and love giving way to acceptance and affection. His heart began to shift towards her becoming more powerful from the strong lust to an actual emotional and physical attachment at the beginning of his end.