Chapter 2
Elizabeth watched Jason's face as he stood there, frozen on the spot. She knew that he was remembering. The look on his face told her he was remembering her words that night. After what seemed like hours to her, he spoke, the words cutting through her.
"This baby is ours."
Her eyes filled with unshed tears as she hesitantly nodded.
"You remember."
His breathing was shallow as his eyes starting to focus again. He saw her nod, and that one gesture turned his whole world upside down.
"You told me… you said I had to fight. I had to fight for the baby." He looked down as the memories kept running in his head. "You said the baby isn't Lucky's. The baby is ours."
She moved toward him then, only to have him step back away from her. He didn't want to be touched right now. His mind was being bombarded.
She stopped when he moved away, her head falling forward. She knew this was going to be hard. She picked her head back up and looked at him again. She had to be strong. She needed to explain, and she couldn't back down now.
"Jason…Jason I know this is a lot to take in. That's why I wanted to talk to you. Just come with me to the studio, and I'll explain everything…please." The last word was a quivering whisper.
He looked at her then and simply nodded. He had so many questions that needed answered, and didn't want to wait till they got to the studio, but knew it was better if they were somewhere private.
"Okay. Let's go."
She gave a quick nod and turned, walking toward the studio with him following.
Elizabeth opened the door to the studio and stood to the side to let him pass. She watched as he walked in with purpose, cringing at the thought of the conversation they were about to have. She closed the door and turned to face him, noticing that he was by the window, looking out deep in thought.
She walked over to where he was standing and looked out at the docks. The silence in the room was deafening. She never felt this uncomfortable with Jason in all the years she'd known him. She couldn't look at him for fear that she would see something she never wanted to see when he looked at her: that cold icy glare that he normally gave to his enemies. She'd only seen him do that once, back when he found her with Zander.
She swallowed nervously, starting to say something, only to have him beat her to it.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
She closed her eyes and took in a long breathe. While she was nervous about this conversation, she was a bit relieved when she didn't hear resentment in his voice when he asked his question. She let out the breath and opened her eyes, looking up at him.
"When I was handed the results of the paternity test, Sonny was there. He was telling me how much you and Sam love each other, and how this baby would be a major obstacle for you two working things out if it turned out to be yours. I told him that maybe it would be for the best if the baby was Lucky's, for everyone concerned. I went outside to read the results, and a woman came in, thinking she was in labor. In rushing to bring her in to have her examined, I dropped the results. I realized shortly after what I did, and rushed outside to find them. Sonny actually found them for me. Anyway, he handed them to me, and watched as I read them. He then assumed that the results showed the baby was Lucky's. I didn't correct him."
"Why not?"
"Because I didn't think he should be the first one to know. I didn't say anything to him because I wanted to tell you first. I knew you were out of town, though, so I kept quiet, and went back to work. That's when Carly confronted me. Said that the baby was obviously Lucky's, or I would be knocking down your door so you could take care of me and the baby and I definitely wouldn't be working anymore." She laughed bitterly. "I didn't correct her either. So as soon as I heard you were back, I went to you, intending on telling you everything. Only Carly beat me there. When you told me it was all for the best, I figured you were relieved. So I just let everyone continue to believe it."
He remained quiet while she spoke, and stayed that way for a while afterwards, looking out of the window. She wanted to plead with him to say something, anything. Yell at her, scream that she had no right. Instead, she just let him stand there quietly, giving him time to let all she said sink in before moving on.
She started walking away from him when he spoke again.
"Why did you tell me that night?"
She stilled when he heard him speak again, her eyes glistening with tears. Her voice was strained, but she was determined to be strong enough to get all of it out.
"When Ric came in, saying that you hadn't turned yourself in yet, I knew something was wrong. I felt it. I went to the chapel to pray for you. When I heard you call my name, and saw you laying there, bleeding and hurt, I couldn't breathe. I thought you were dying. I had to find a way to get you to fight. I needed you to fight. I couldn't lose you."
He turned toward her then, for the first time looking at her.
"When I was here, when I was awake, why didn't you tell me again?"
His questions were calm and clear, like he refused to show any emotion toward her. Maybe that was better, she thought. That way she wouldn't have to hear the disappointment and resentment in his voice.
She looked up at him, tears starting to stream down her face.
"You didn't remember. I told you, and you didn't remember. All you were focused on was helping Sam. You kept saying over and over how it was better that you weren't the father. It just reconfirmed what I thought from the beginning: you didn't want to be the father." She sobbed softly and turned around, moving over to the couch and sitting back, rubbing her hand over her stomach protectively.
"I'm not putting the blame on you or anyone else. I did this. I made a decision, and was willing to see it through. I hated not telling you the truth. It was killing me. Everytime I would see Lucky, he would talk about this baby, and all the things he would like to do when it was born, and it tore at me, every minute." Her body shook with sobs, getting louder and louder as she went on. "I know you probably hate me now, and I understand."
He was silent then, watching her. He watched as she broke down, and he wanted to go to her, to comfort her, but his anger wouldn't let him.
"I have to go. I need to think."
Wiping her eyes, she nodded. "Okay."
He started moving toward her, then stopped, turned and walked out the door, leaving her to break down, crying hysterically.
Jason walked along the docks in silence, everything going over and over through his mind. He knew he should be angry. He should have yelled and screamed that she had no right to keep this from him, but he couldn't. Her words kept going over and over in his head. He replayed the time when she came to him and he stopped her, telling her he already knew that the baby was Lucky's and it's all for the best.
He laughed bitterly to himself. He could blame it all on her. That would be the easy thing to do, but he knew he couldn't. Every chance he had, he would tell her how it all turned out for the best, that he would be a horrible father. He remembered his stay in the studio, and how he would talk about getting to Sam, about how he needed to save her. He realized that she wasn't the only one who made mistakes. Maybe if he kept his mouth shut when she tried to tell him, maybe if he stopped talking about Sam for one moment, he would've known sooner.
He also thought about Lucky, and the impact this all will have on him. He knew Elizabeth didn't want to be the reason for a relapse, that was why she couldn't even tell him about their one night together. The guilt she had been carrying around wasn't only by him, but by Lucky, unintentionally as well.
He looked up toward the sky and closed his eyes, breathing heavily. He was going to be a father, in around five months. He was going to have a child of his own, one that no one could take away from him. From everything he got from Elizabeth so far, the pregnancy was going well, which was a good sign.
A smile formed on his face as he started imagining what their child would look like. Would it have his eyes? Would it have it's mother's nose, or dark curly hair? As he imagined, his smile grew bigger and bigger, and he realized for the first time tonight that he is going to be a father. A lump formed in his throat as he felt his heart fill a void that he hadn't really noticed was there before. Elizabeth was having his baby. Yet again, she was saving him. Not his life, this time, but his heart. Right then, any anger he might have been harboring suddenly didn't seem important.
He turned and walked back toward the studio, when he heard his name being called from behind him. He turned back around to see Sam walking toward him, a smile plastered on his face.
She walked over to him and hugged him tightly. "Hey, I didn't know where you were. What have you been up to?"
Jason closed his eyes as he held her, guilt creeping into him. He pushed her away softly and looked down at her.
"Sam, we need to talk."
Her smile faded as she looked up at him. "What is it? Has Ric done something else? What's going on?"
"Ric hasn't done anything else. I was just talking to Elizabeth"
Sam rolled her eyes at the mention of that name. "Boy she didn't waste any time running to you. Jason, whatever she told you is a lie. I was simply thanking her for helping you out, but told her you didn't need her anymore because you are fine, and the charges against you were dropped."
He looked at her, knowing that she was lying. She didn't know he was there and heard just what he had said to Elizabeth. Sam had spun it to make it sound like she was being gracious. He shook his head away from those thoughts. He couldn't deal with that right now, he had to tell her.
"It isn't about what happened between you guys. Sam, the baby Elizabeth is carrying, " he paused for a moment before continuing, "it's mine."
She looked up at him, confusion and hurt written all over her face.
"No, no that's not right. The baby is Lucky's. You told me the baby was Lucky's. This is some sort of mistake, right-"
"It's no mistake. Carly assumed it was Lucky's because Elizabeth was still working after she got the results. Elizabeth didn't confirm or deny her assumption. She was going to tell me the truth, but Carly beat her there, and told me the baby was Lucky's. I didn't give her a chance to tell me."
She looked at him shocked. "Didn't give you a chance? Jason, she had plenty of chances. Hell, she could have told you while she was playing Lil' Miss Nursemaid while you were at her studio!"
He dug his hands in the pockets of his jacket, exhaling a long breath.
"She did."
"She did? She told you then? And you are just telling me this now? Why? Why wouldn't you tell me-"
"I…Sam, I didn't remember she told me. She found me on the floor of the church. I was pretty out of it. I just remembered tonight what she said to me."
Sam folded her arms over her chest and laughed bitterly.
"This is just fantastic! You are having a baby, and with Elizabeth. Did she have anything to say for herself? How could she possibly excuse this, little Miss Perfect that she is?"
He shook his head and closed his eyes, letting his head fall forward. He knew the insults would start flying again.
"What, Jason? I can't be a little upset that the woman who had a one night stand with, some meaningless sex with, is carrying your child, a child that I'm supposed to be having?! Is that what you are telling me?"
He winced when she said meaningless sex. To him, that night meant more to him than he was ever willing to admit, even to himself. Now, now that he knew what resulted from that night, it meant all that much more.
"So, what are we going to do about this?"
Jason looked up and at her, confusion marring his face.
"Do about what?"
"About this baby. She can't get away with this. She can't not tell you, then suddenly unburden her precious soul, and still come out the winner in all this!"
"What are you talking about, Sam?"
She walked up to him, mere inches and placed her hands on his chest, looking up at him with desperation in her eyes.
"We can raise this baby, Jason; you and me. After she gives birth, we can get custody-"
He pulled her hands from his body, holding her wrists away from him and looked at her shocked.
"Sam, we can't do that. I'm not going to take Elizabeth's child away from her."
"No, no. It's perfect Jason. I can even adopt the baby when it comes. We won't have to have anything to do with her-"
He pushed her away from him softly, looking at her like he was looking at a stranger.
"Elizabeth is the mother of this child, of my child. I'm sorry if that hurts you, Sam, but I have no intention of taking the baby away from her. She is the mother and will be the mother, just as much as I am the father."
Sam's eyes turned cold as she looked at him. Then she suddenly started laughing hysterically, tears running down her cheeks.
"Carly was right," she said as she continued to cackle. "She told me to be careful with Elizabeth, that she was after you. I should have listened." She continued her psychotic laughter.
"No, it's nothing like that, Sam, listen to me-"
"No, Jason. You can't even see it. She's been after you all this time. Kept telling me she was just helping her friend. She wanted this." He noticed her laughing calming down, but what he saw on her face then was pure hatred. "And so did you."
"Sam, what are you talking about?"
She snorted and rolled her eyes, tears wetting her cheeks. "This 'friendship' you have with her. It was never just friends was it? There's always been more, hasn't there? HASN'T THERE?!"
More than friends.
Those words echoed in his brain as she said them. The memory of him saying them to Elizabeth rolled through his mind. She was right, they were more than friends. They always were. Suddenly he realized, they always will be.
At the look on Jason's face, Sam nodded, wiping her face with the sleeve of her shirt.
"Your silence speaks volumes." She walked backwards towards the stairs slowly
"Sam, wait-"
She shook her head slowly, a resigned look on her face. "No, Jason. I'm done. I can't fight anymore. I should have realized when I asked you if you planned on sleeping with her again, and you refused to answer that something was going on. I do now. Goodbye, Jason."
She stood there for just a moment more, before turning and running up the stairs, leaving Jason alone.