CHAPTER 2

"Hey! What's up?" George asked, joining Izzie in the cafeteria. He kissed her on the cheek and sat down at her table as she stared into space emotionless. "Earth to Izzie."

"What?" Izzie asked. "Oh hi," she said, noticing George's presence. He looked at her oddly.

"Is everything okay?" he asked. Izzie looked at George, her eyes immediately filling with tears when she saw the look of concern in his gentle eyes. She shook her head and let him wrap his arms around her as she buried her head into his chest. "Iz," George said concerned. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's my daughter," Izzie said quietly.

"The bone marrow didn't take?" George guessed.

"Bailey thinks she might be going into organ failure."

"Oh Iz, I'm so sorry," George said, hugging her tighter, wishing that there was something more comforting that he could say. "Is she here?" he asked. Izzie nodded wiping her eyes.

"I don't know what to do," she confessed.

"I know," George said gently, kissing her on the cheek. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off?" he suggested. Izzie shook her head, gently pulling away from George's embrace.

"Why?" she asked. "It's not like I know her. She's not my daughter when you really think about it. She'll never call me 'Mom,' I don't know where she goes to school or what sports she plays or if she even plays any or even what her favourite colour is. I don't even think she knows my name. I'd feel like a fraud"

"You do know her," George insisted. "You mightn't know her favourite colour but you do know her on some level. She came from your body. She's a part of you and you wouldn't be human if you didn't love her."

"Thank you," Izzie said to George, gratefully. She took a deep breath. "But I need to stay here. I want to be close to her. She kissed George on the lips. "I'm not actually on a break. I have to get back to work."

Izzie tried to take her mind off worrying about Hannah and busied herself with other patients and training her interns for most of the day. When she finally stopped in the Residents' lounge for coffee she found Bailey looking through a thick patient file.

"Hi," Izzie said quietly. Bailey looked up at her, her eyes saying it all. "It's bad isn't it?" Izzie asked. Bailey nodded.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Bailey said with compassion which she didn't outwardly show to her residents often but as a mother herself she knew how earth shattering the news of a critically ill child could be.

"What is it?" Izzie asked.

"It's kidney failure," Bailey answered. She's been battling the leukemia for so long her little body's having trouble supporting the illness and the treatments. I'm just looking through her file to look at our treatment options and what would be best for her." Izzie took a deep shaky breath.

"She can't go on dialysis forever," Izzie said. Bailey nodded.

"I know," she answered.

"So it'll have to be a transplant," Izzie said. "That's her only chance."

"Well I have to be sure that she can survive surgery itself before I go looking for kidneys…" Bailey said, suddenly realising what Izzie was hinting at. "Stevens, that's a long way off yet…"

"But if she needs a transplant, I'll do it," Izzie said. "It's a no brainer."

"There are a million hoops to jump through before that can even happen," Bailey said. "First of all you have to be a match and-"

"So test me," Izzie said, wondering what the problem was.

"How about you let me break the news to her mother first," Bailey said. She suddenly realised what she had said. "Her other-"

"I know," Izzie said. "Keep me updated."

Izzie stood at the nurses' station on the pediatrics ward of the hospital pretending to be reading patient notes. Five metres away from her, in what they called the quiet room, Bailey was informing Hannah's adoptive mother of Hannah's condition. Izzie heard a guttural sob come from the room and, with her heart pounding; she tried to casually stroll past the room. As she walked past she saw Hannah's devastated mother sobbing at the news with Bailey trying her best to comfort her. Izzie kept walking, trying to hold herself together, and casually looking into the rooms as she passed them. She stopped suddenly when she laid eyes on the little girl that was unmistakably her daughter who everyone referred to as Hannah but who she knew as Sarah. She looked just like Izzie as a girl only with some noticeable differences. She had no hair and her little body was painfully thin from the cruel treatments that she needed to stay alive. She was hooked up to a kidney dialysis machine had fallen asleep reading a book. Izzie made sure that no body was looking and quietly went into the room. She closed the book and rested it on Hannah's bedside table. Then she stood there staring at her daughter. She bent down and gave her a kiss on her bald head and rested her hand against her hollow cheek. Izzie forced herself to leave the room before anybody found her there and before Hannah woke up.

Izzie went home without notifying anybody and found herself lying on the bathroom floor of Meredith's house again. She had no idea why she was there but she knew that she hadn't felt so low since Denny died.

"Oh crap," she heard Alex say from behind her. Hours must have passed without her noticing. "What are you doing back there?"

"Shut up," Izzie said back. Alex knew from her tone of voice not to mess with her. He threw his backpack on the floor and stepped into the bathroom.

"Look, I'm not too good at this stuff," he said uncomfortably. "Do you want me to call O'Malley?"

"She's only eleven," Izzie replied.

"Who is?" Alex asked, confused.

"Sa- Hannah," Izzie correcting herself. "She only knows herself as Hannah. She doesn't know about Sarah."

"Who?" Alex asked again, more confused.

"She's gone into kidney failure."

"Are you talking about a patient?" Alex asked, remembering when Hannah was first bought in by her distraught adoptive mother that morning. "Dude, I know it sucks but you can't get this attached to a patient."

"She's my daughter," Izzie said, still unmoving, on the bathroom floor. Alex was speechless. He certainly hadn't seen that announcement coming. "I don't know if she can survive surgery. I don't even know where her father is, so if I'm not a match then-"

"You have a daughter," Alex said out loud, trying to comprehend the announcement. Izzie nodded. Alex exhaled loudly and sat down next to Izzie, feeling genuinely sorry for her.

Ten minutes later Meredith and Cristina arrived at Meredith's house. They found Alex and Izzie on the bathroom floor.

"Hey, Bailey's been looking everywhere for you," Meredith said to Izzie, concerned.

"She told us," Christina added.

"Why is she looking for me?" Izzie asked, breaking eye contact with the hamper for the first time.

"Whatever happened to patient confidentiality?" Alex asked, cynically.

"Hannah's adoptive mother figured you could use all the support you could get," Meredith said.

"Can she have surgery?" Izzie asked.

"She didn't say," Cristina replied. "But that's the impression I got. They were both looking for you."

"I'll call Bailey," Izzie said, starting to sit up. Meredith shook her head.

"Bailey's gone home. She'll find you tomorrow. She wants you to get some rest." Izzie lay back down on the floor. Meredith and Christina went into the bathroom and lay down beside her. Meredith took gently held Izzie's hand the way she did after Denny died.

George arrived a short time later. He came bounding up the stairs calling out Izzie's name.

"I hate being a repeater!" he announced when he reached the bathroom where Alex, Izzie, Meredith and Christina were gathered on the floor. "I've been trying to get home for hours but I've been stuck doing enemas."

"It's okay, George," Meredith said. "We're looking after her." George stepped into the bathroom. He looked for a spot to sit or lie down.

"There's no room," he said, slightly frustrated.

"Take me to bed?" Izzie asked. George nodded. The others helped her up and watched on sympathetically as George and Izzie made their way to Izzie's room.