Taming of Which Shrew?

by MOFOSTAN

At first all is seemingly normal in Wendy Testaburger's life, until someone finds out what is truly happening to her. When Cartman reads her diary and investigates her situation... will Wendy be able to heal from everything that will happen?

2. The lady doth protest too much, methinks

A/N: Ok, so this is my South Park Fan fiction, that is greatly influenced by Shakespeare! Yay! Anyways, the title of this chapter is from his playHamletfrom Act III Scene II. I thought it would fit everyone in this chapter since Kyle, Bebe, and Wendy are mostly affected with toil and troubles. Although you'll see Cartman's fair share of repressed angst, and even a little Stan drama. *ku ku ku, evil grin* I might even make Tweek suffer too! Lol I'm such a sadist. Also the book Wendy is reading is calledThe Taming of the Shrewand it's really awesome.Anyways, here's the URL for the chapter in (DA): .com/art/Taming-of-Which-Shrew-178801458

Nevertheless, I shan't keep you lovelies preoccupied for any further. Do enjoy thus laborious written story. ^_^

Kath.Fie, fie! unknit that threatening un-
kind brow,
And dart not scornful glances from those eyes,
To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor:
It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,
Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair
buds,
And in no sense is meet or amiable.
A woman mov'd is like a fountain troubled,
Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty;
And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty
Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for
thee,
And for thy maintenance commits his body
To painful labour both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and
safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience;
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she's froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel,
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?—
I am asham'd that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace,
Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway,
When they are bound to serve, love, and obey.
Why are our bodies soft, and weak, and smooth,
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts.
Should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come, you froward and unable worms
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown;
But now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
That seeming to be most which we indeed least
are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
And place your hands below your husband's
foot:
In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready; may it do him ease.

I flipped the page and read on to my favorite part.

Pet.Why, there's a wench! Come on, and
kiss me, Kate.
Luc.Well, go thy ways, old lad, for thou
shalt ha't.
Vin.'Tis a good hearing when children are
toward.
Luc.But a harsh hearing when women are
froward.
Pet.Come, Kate, we'llto bed.
We three are married, but you two are sped.
'Twas I won the wager, [To LUCENTIO.] though
you hit the white;
And, being a winner. God ghe you good
night!
[ExeuntPETRUCHIO and KATHARINA.
Hor.Now, go thy ways; thou hast tam'd a
curst shrew.
Luc.'Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be
tam'd so. [Exeunt.

I sink into my bed covers as I read over the last two pages over and over again. As soon as Kate starts her speech to as soon as Lucentio finishes his comment. My favorite Shakespeare play finally ends, unfolding me to act like fan girls squealing over a celebrity. She is dubbed as a wrench, a shrew, a strong-willed woman that no one can tame. Then after the ill-tempered Petruchio tries to tame her, she acts submissive, yet in fact she plays him by the palm of her clever hand and the shrew that was tamed was not her, and it was in fact him!

My phone starts to vibrate, snapping me from my fan girlish thoughts. I check the caller ID, Stan Marsh. I sigh as I check the message.

"hey babe did i give u my jacket or something? i cant find it! ;A;"

I try to retrace my thoughts, seeking any memories when Stan gave me the jacket. Nothing. I rise and trudge lazily to my closet just to make sure that he didn't give me his precious jacket. Nothing. I go back to the phone resting on my bed and text him back.

"Nope. Couldn't find anything. Sorry. ^_^"

I slump back to my bed sheets and start to close my book and put it on top of my drawer next to my bed when I hear (as well as feel) my phone vibrate again.

"TTATT im freaking out! i cant find it anywhere! HELP! TT-TT"

"XD maybe you left it in Kyle's house. You always leave everything there."

My phone vibrates once more. ":DD omg i didn't thought of that! that's why i love u babe! 3"

"I didn't THINK of that. Use grammar Stan. *rolls eyes* :P"

"Whatever XD"

I decided to leave the conversation at that before checking the time in my phone. It was 3:40 PM. I stared at the clock for a moment before realizing that Bebe had to go to the doctor and I had to be there for her. Holy shit, if I missed that, she'd never talk to me again! I slipped on my purple jacket and my pink barrette and my comfy jeans as quickly as I could. I ran downstairs and to the door before I heard my mom call out to me.

"Honey, take your glasses cleaner before you leave."

I checked my jacket pocket and realized I had two packs with me already. "Already got it, mom." I call out back to her before opening the door to leave.

I ran to Bebe's house which wasn't that far in the first place. I anxiously knocked the door before it swung open.

"What the fuck, Wendy! I've been waiting for fifteen minutes!" She yelled more nervous than angry.

"I'm sorry, I was reading The Taming of the Shrew and then Stan texted me, and then I… I forgot. Sorry." I babbled on in a hurry.

Bebe rolled her eyes as she slipped on her coat and grabbed her car keys. "It's fine. Let's just go, we're late enough." We trudged quickly to her car in the front yard and got in, in a hurry. "How many times are you going to read that book, geez!" She said irritated as she turned on the ignition.

I simply shrugged. "It's my favorite book. Better than his most common play, Romeo and Juliet."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, just ease my nerves. What if it comes out positive! What'll I do then!" She practically squeaked out in a terrified manner as she drove.

"Then you'll have the baby." I replied calmly.

"I can't do that! I'm only seventeen! I still have my whole life ahead of me."

"Then you'll have an abortion." I replied calmly.

"I can't do that, either! I'm NOT killing an unborn child!"

"Then you put it up for adoption." I reply calmly, but am getting a bit agitated.

"But what if the foster parents are abusers and they rape or beat the child and he comes back to me after eighteen years and curse the day I was born!"

"Goddamn it! What the fuck do you want me to say! You sound like Tweek Tweak!" I practically scream, causing her to flinch.

"I'm sorry, I just, don't know what to do." She was at the verge of tears when we came to a stop light.

I patted her back with my hand, trying my best to comfort her. "It'll be alright, okay, no matter what the doctor says."

Two weeks ago we attended a party at Clyde's house and he brought in alcohol. I refused to drink, but Bebe gave in after her crush (Kyle) started to drink for a bet he and Cartman had. I went to the bathroom and when I came back she disappeared in the large crowd. I stayed with Stan after I gave up trying to find her. Then after I saw Red slump around the wall I approached her and asked where Bebe had been. She said she was making out with Kyle in Clyde's bedroom. I rushed to the bedroom, worrying for the worst. As I swung the door open, I found my worries to be true. Kyle was on top of Bebe and his zipper down and her skirt up. Drunk and horny, they lost their virginity that night.

Two days ago, Bebe started to worry that she might have been pregnant. She bought two pregnancy tests and peed on both of them. Both coming out positive. Now she was anxious to go to the doctors, hoping it wasn't true. When we arrived to the waiting room, we immediately saw Kyle tapping his feet and sitting on the edge of his chair nervously. When he spotted us, he approached us anxiously, his eyes half wild.

"The doctor called you like two minutes ago." He says, speaking directly to Bebe.

Bebe tugged anxiously at her hair and nodded looking distantly at the ground. She turned to me with tears in her eyes. "Can you come with me!"

I nodded and followed her into the doctor's office, leaving a stressful Kyle to himself. After waiting endless minutes for the doctor to enter after completing the procedure with the results, he sat in his stool.

Bebe gave my hand a squeeze (which I held for her support) before asking the doctor, "Well, what did the results say?"

He sighed. "Congratulations, you're pregnant." He said, non enthusiastically.

Tears ran down Bebe's eyes and she broke in sobs. Bebe wasn't a slut, nor was she prone to promiscuity. This was a one night mistake, she didn't deserve this. The poor thing's life was practically ruined.

After emerging out of the office and into the waiting room, Kyle abruptly sat up, anxious for the results. Bebe was still crying and she nodded her head and clutched her stomach.

"Jesus Christ, it came out positive didn't it!" He shrieked.

I nodded solemnly. "Sorry."

Later on that night, after I finished calming both Bebe and Kyle, I reread my favorite text in The Taming of the Shrew before going to sleep. My last thought was that I hope Bebe and Kyle do okay. The next morning I woke up by my phone alarm and arose from my bed sheets. I spread my arms outwards and yawned dramatically, although there was no one to be dramatic to. I lazily threw my sheets away from my body so that I could walk to the bathroom. I took a towel with me and turned on the bath water. The water ran warm against my back as I applied the shampoo along with the gathered instructions. Apply, rinse, repeat. The old cliché linked into shampoo. Afterwards I dried myself up and stepped out of the shower. I had forgotten to bring my clothes so I simply wrapped a towel around my body to shield myself from exposure. As I sneaked my way out of the bathroom, I saw a dark figure from the corner of my eyes. Shit.

I cocked my head rapidly (so rapidly that I almost gave myself a neck cramp) to my side to find James standing with his arms crossed, glaring at me to the fullest degree. I instinctively covered myself (although I was sure that I wasn't showing) and yelped in shock.

"Jesus Christ, James!" I felt my face grew in shock and horror.

"Where's your mother?" He said, unmoved and monotone.

"She went to that business trip."

"When do you go to school?" He asked, still unwavered.

"At 7:20. Why?" I begin to grow suspicious.

"It's 5:37. Why wake up that early?" Is he interrogating me? Why? I'm not even his daughter!

"Because I like to go to the library before school." I lied. I wanted to meet Stan, Bebe, Kyle, and Tweek before school started in front of the bus stop.

"So it wouldn't matter if you didn't go to the library?" Right then I noticed something strange shift in James's eyes. Something that terrified me and made my heart quiver in tortured fear. What was he getting at?

"Can I please just go to my room. I need to change into my school uniform. Exams are next week, and I wanted to study at the library." I say, nervously.

He grinned a smirk that chilled me to the bone and paralyzed me in place. He came closer to me and stood just inches above my face and I saw his eyes travel down the creek of my chest. Why couldn't I move! "Of course." He said slyly and slid past me like a snake. Then I felt something tug at my towel and the fold I had made to keep it in place slightly unraveled. I gasped sharply as his finger tugged at the edge of my towel as he continued to move as if nothing was happening. For fear of my skin exposing, I desperately reached for it but was too late. The towel was tugged just enough that my left breast showed and as well as my thighs and ass. I felt tears well up in me as I saw him slightly and slowly cock his head back to casually sneak a peek and smirk in victory. I squealed in terror and tugged the towel back to cover myself and ran as quickly as I could to my room and immediately locked the door.

This had never happened before. James was always strange, but he had never gone this far! James was my mother's husband. I had met him when I was twelve, a year and a half after my parents divorce. He had been a wonderful man, in front of my mother that is. Though when she turned away to elsewhere, he would glare and scoff at me as I was nothing. Lately, since I turned fifteen to this day when I am sixteen and a half, he has been acting odder and odder. He's an author so he stays home, and when he stays home and my mother is at work, it always follows the same pattern. In the morning he ignores me until I sit at the table to eat breakfast. Then he stands behind me, lingering in a heavy atmosphere. If I dare to turn back, he starts to play with my hair. If I dare to ask him why he stands so close, he comes closer till his lips are almost touching my ears. Then he whispers "Because I can." And then he just walks away, leaving me frightened and scared out of my wits. Then as I leave, he turns on the fan on high and spinning mode, so that when I try to walk by to the door, my school skirt flies up.

Then in the afternoons when I return and my mother still isn't home from work, he greets me with a hug. Just touching him makes my skin crawl, and to make matters worse he tends to grope me when he hugs me. Then as I am studying or completing my assigned homework, he lingers with that same heavy atmosphere at the edge of my door and simply stares at me all the while. If I dare look back he stands closer to me so, that he brushes against my back (since I have a stool for a chair, instead of an actual desk chair). If I dare to try to move to another location, he follows close by, with the excuse that he is supervising me. Then when my mother comes home, he acts like a concern and caring father, until he is alone with me. Also I sometimes cannot find my under garments. For example, I lost two of my bras the other day and I searched all over the house, then finally I dared to sneak inside of James's study room to find them stuffed in a drawer.

That man is sick, but he has never harassed me THIS much! This night, I will ask Bebe, Kyle, Stan, and Tweek to sleep over. First of all, he acts normal around everyone but me, even my friends. Secondly, you'd think inviting Bebe would be enough, but no. I need a male in the house, since my mother is out on a business trip for the entire week. Now that the Bebe/Kyle drama has already happened, I'm sure that they both would come as a pair. Wherever she goes, he'll be sure to follow. Also I cannot invite Kyle without inviting my boyfriend. One that would be relationship suicide, two their best friends, so it's alright. I also decided to invite Tweek, since he can NEVER sleep, therefore making it impossible for the chance for James to sneak in (since Bebe and Stan are heavy sleepers, and Kyle… well I'm not sure, but just to be safe). I need to keep someone in the house at all times, at least until mother comes back. She had told me not to go over a friend's house while she was gone, but she never said NOT to invite friends over.

As I finished dressing as quickly as I could I gather my things and back pack and took a deep breathes before unlocking the door. I abruptly opened the door, and practically ran out without a word to the surprised, yet oddly pleased James left behind. I even skipped breakfast, terrified on what he will attempt on me this morning. I ran till I reached the familiar bus stop, which I started to wait for the bus there with Stan when we started Junior high in the seventh grade. I saw Tweek, Kyle and Bebe (of course), Stan, and even Cartman waiting. I stopped and caught my breathe, panting as I miserably tried, and casually walked next to Stan and Tweek.

"Hey, babe." Stan said cheerfully, until his face fell.

"What?" I asked nervously.

"Is something wrong?" Stan asked, concerned.

"Yeah, you, nggh, look scared! GAH! Jesus Christ what if the, argh, FBI is chasing you! MAN I DON'T WANT THE FBI TO KILL, ack, WENDY!" Tweek rambled.

"You look as pale as a ghost, bitch." Cartman stated.

"I-it's nothing. Just feeling a bit sick this morning." I smiled reassuringly (ignoring Cartman calling me a bitch since I was still shaken up about this morning's… "incident").

"You sure, honey?" Bebe asked.

I laughed, as normally as I could at the moment. "Sure, I'll be fine by lunch."

Stan wrapped his arms around me and then turned to Kyle. "So what did you two want to say?"

"Well I was going to wait till Kenny showed up, but seeing as he's dead… again, I guess we'll tell him later." Kyle said looking at the floor and scratching his neck.

"Tell us what?" I asked curiously, trying to take my mind off of everything.

Kyle turned to Bebe. Bebe sighed before saying, "I went to the doctor with Kyle and Wendy yesterday."

Tweek, Stan, and Cartman exchanged glances to Kyle, Bebe, and me.

"Wait, you're gonna tell them!" I said.

Kyle shrugged.

Cartman impatiently shouted, "Just tell us already you Jew rat!"

"Jesus Christ! What if, nggh, Bebe mysteriously got AIDS! GAH! And then she'll have to inject all her m-money in her and, ack, become poor and will have to live on the streets, n-ngh, and sell herself so she can afford food. Then she'll get , GAH!, pregnant and she'll become addicted to abortions!" He scrambled in front of Bebe and put his hands on her shoulders and shook her vigorously. "I'LL LEND YOU MONEY, BEBE! JUST DON'T BECOME ADDICTED TO ABORTIONS!"

Bebe had her eyes wide open and a confused expression in her face. "I-I don't have AIDS, Tweek."

Tweek sighed in relief.

Then Kyle spoke up, embarrassed and quietly. "One out of six of those happened, though."

Everyone except me and Bebe turned wide eyes at Kyle. "Holy shit dude!" Which one!" Stan said, a little too loudly.

"She went to the doctors, so injecting money and becoming poor and selling herself is out of the question. And since AIDS is out too, it's one of the other two." Catrman spoke up. That damn, perceptive fatass. "And since you'd have to be pregnant to have abortions, the hoe is most likely pregnant."

"WHAT! HOLY TAP DANCING CHRIST!" Tweek screamed.

Bebe and Kyle shamefully looked at the ground. "We were drunk in Clyde's party." Kyle practically whispered.

Stan had his mouth gaped open, looking back and forth at Kyle and Bebe. Tweek was blubbering like a crazed psycho; something about Bebe and Kyle not being able to afford the baby and having to join the mafia and Kyle is a drug dealer mafia, while Bebe is his wife, and the baby will play with guns at the age of five. And Cartman was all too amused to be concerned (if he had the capability to have feelings). While I was staring worryingly at them.

"Dude!" Stan said, having all he could muster up.

Cartman let out a chuckle. "Ay guys, imagine the kid ends up looking like Kahl's bitchy mom! That'll be so hilarious!"

"Shut up about my mom, fatass!" Kyle nearly lunged himself at Cartman before being held back my Bebe and Stan.

"Dude calm down!" Stan said, uneasily.

Cartman continued chuckling, looking even MORE amused. "What Kahl? You're gonna get the kid's umbilical cord out of Bebe and choke me with it?"

Bebe's mouth opened in disgust and Kyle yelled, "YOU FUCKING DIE, FATASS!" As he kicked Cartman in the nuts.

Cartman fell on his knees face twisted in pain, while Bebe, Tweek, Stan, and even myself started to uncontrollably laugh as Kyle pouted in the background.

The bus finally arrived and we headed inside.