Edward has come up with a solution to their kitten predicament. Whether it's the best idea is debatable, but at least the Elrics will be rid of all those cats!
"Here, just a few more steps." Edward told Roy Mustang, who was currently blindfolded and being led somewhere by Ed and Al.
Whatever the little brat and his brother were up to, all Roy knew was that if he was warned of any more stairs just too late to keep from trippingagain, Edward would be in serious trouble.
"Will you just get on with this, Fullmetal? I have important things to attend to." Roy said, but all he got was a wall to the face.
"Oops. So sorry, Colonel Clumsy." Edward said, no doubt reveling in this, and Roy could distinctly hear him trying to stifle a laugh.
"Watch it, Edward. I am your direct superior, after all." Roy warned.
"Don't worry, Colonel. You'll be glad you came with us!" Alphonse piped up from ahead, clearly eager about whatever this was.
Roy was starting to wonder where he was being taken and why it seemed so much like his apartment building-
Oh.
This was his apartment building, wasn't it?
After three painful flights of steps (wait, three? Roy's room was on floor three…), a short walk down the hall, and one more face-to-wall incident courtesy of one Edward Elric (the little twit was getting it for that one), they arrived at their destination.
"Here we are!" Edward said much too cheerfully.
"You're going to love this!" Alphonse said. Just then, Roy heard something.
It almost sounded like a….
Then the door was opened, and Roy's blindfold was removed.
He blinked, eyes readjusting to the bright midday light, and he found himself in his apartment room. But his apartment room wasn't right.
Cats.
There were cats everywhere.
Clawing up the curtains, attacking the fishbowl on the table, peeking out from under the bed. Roy looked up and saw, to his horror, a cat, thoroughly enjoying itself, sitting on one of the blades of his ceiling fan.
"W-what is this?" Roy barely managed to choke out, completely dumbfounded.
"It's your birthday present, Colonel! You see, I had a bunch of cats, and we don't have a place for them, and Brother told me that you would enjoy the company. Do you like it?" Alphonse asked eagerly.
Roy almost snapped at the younger Elric, but then realized that all Alphonse wanted was to help both the cats and Roy. It was Edward he should be yelling at. After all, Ed had put this idea in Al's head, right?
"Thank you for being so considerate, Alphonse. I appreciate the thought." Roy said with his voice as even as possible, but then his tone changed as he turned, shaking with fury, to address Edward. "But you, you -"
Ed wasn't there. He'd already begun his escape, laughing almost maniacally as he dashed down the stairwell.
"HAHAHAHAHA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COLONEL IDIOT!" Edward howled as Roy broke into a run towards the boy.
"Get BACK here you little-"
"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE BEACH BECAUSE HE'S SO SMALL, HE'D SINK INTO THE SAND AND WHEN THE TIDE COMES IN HE DOESN'T EVEN SINK OR HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT DROWNING BECAUSE HE'S SO MICROSCOPIC HE CAN BREATHE ALL THE OXYGEN ATOMS IN THE WATER?!" Edward bellowed. How the boy had managed to scream that much while running at top speed, Roy wasn't sure. The only thing he knew was that twit was going to get it when Roy caught up to him.
"YOU!" Roy shouted in return, just before he tripped and fell down a whole flight of steps, due to an attempt to avoid a kitten that had somehow made it out of the apartment and under his feet.
…
All the while, Alphonse sat in the apartment, perfectly content, petting the kittens, completely ignoring Roy and Edward. All that mattered was that he'd made Roy happy and given the kittens a home. For a few minutes, all was right with Alphonse Elric's world.
YAY HAPPY ENDING XD.
At least for Alphonse. And Ed, if he can escape.
Fun Fact #874930015: Edward's not my favorite character, but I find it easiest to write from his point of view.
Hope you enjoyed this, and have a blessed day!