"So you're serious when you say there's a guy in a pink suit who flits around and dictates magic peoples' love lives?" King asked Vivi. "Or is this a situation like Santa Claus or the tooth fairy?"
"It's news to me that you even know about Santa or the tooth fairy," Vivi replied as she put some books back in her locker. "I thought they would be concepts that were too human so your father and mother wouldn't talk to you about them. And Clarence doesn't flit. He appears."
"Well, I don't really care about the difference," King replied. "He's real?"
"Yeah," Vivi replied. "I mean, I don't know how you can get in contact with him, but he exists." She paused. "You're not gonna be stupid enough to mess with him, are you?"
"You wound me, Vivian," King said, putting a hand to his heart. "Why on earth would I want to mess with a guy like that?"
"Cause you're impatient and don't want to wait until I'm ready to like you again," Vivi replied. "Can you tell me that I'm wrong?"
"You're slightly wrong," King replied. "I wouldn't try and interfere with his business. I just want to know why he's putting me through all this crap."
"Well, good luck with that," Vivi replied.
"Thank you," King replied. "You're too kind."
Not sure what his mother's reaction would be to a question about Clarence, King steeled himself that night before he asked, and told himself that if she reacted negatively, he would just pass off his question as a joke. Then, he went to the kitchen where Gwen was pouring herself a glass of wine, and just blurted it out: "Mom, is there really a warlock in a pink suit that determines everyone's love lives? Or is that just made up?"
Gwen choked on her wine and King gave her a sound whack on the back before asking again: "Is Clarence real? Vivi thinks he's a real person."
Gwen heard this and scoffed. "I suppose he could be, but given how horrible my love life has been up until now, I've never put much stock in him personally, or told you anything about him. I want you to feel like you have control over your own life and that things aren't happening just because some person with powers makes them so."
"Well, thanks," King replied. "Cause I'm about to take control of things in a big way."
"Good for you," Gwen replied. "But don't do anything stupid. Or else I'll never hear the end of it from your father."
"I'll be careful," King told her. "I promise."
"Hey, Mom?" Vivi called to her mother from the other side of the bathroom door. "I realize this probably isn't the best time for us to be having a conversation, but finding a time when you're outside the bathroom and not feeling sick is kind of rare, so you'll have to forgive me."
"It's all right," Amy called, and then gagged. "What's going on?"
"Clarence is real, right?" Vivi asked. "When you told me all those stories about him, you weren't just telling me fairy tales?"
"Yeah, he's real," Amy called. "He has an office at the council building. Why?"
"You mean I can just stroll into the council building and meet the man who controls my entire love life?" Vivi asked. "I mean, I believe you, but it's so crazy!"
"You won't just be able to stroll in and meet him," Amy replied. "I'm sure you'll have to make an appointment first. But yeah, he's a lot easier to get in contact with than people believe."
"Would you be upset with me if I said I wanted to make an appointment with him?" Vivi wanted to know? "I thought I would tell you first."
"Oh, go ahead!" Amy replied. "I'll be interested to see what he has in store for you and Viktor…and you and King."
"But we won't tell Daddy, cause what Clarence has to say will probably just disappoint him," Vivi said.
"You know, you're right," Amy replied. "You go make the appointment, and then we won't say a word of it to your father."
"All right," Vivi replied. "I'm gonna go now, but I'll be back immediately after. I promise." She then left her poor, sick mother in peace and came back, her mission complete, and eager to tell King what she'd done at school the next morning.
"So…." Vivi asked the next day, as she stopped by King's locker, filled with curiosity about whether or not he'd done what he'd said. "Were you stupid enough to go take on Clarence?"
"Not yet," King replied. "I'm not going alone. When I go, you're coming with me."
"Why do I have to do that?" Vivi asked, not wanting him to feel like he was the one in control for this situation. "I'm perfectly comfortable with the state of our relationship as it is."
"I'll feel like an idiot going to confront this guy by myself!" King replied, tugging at her sleeve. "Please come. Please?" He tried to make what he thought was a cute face, but it just made her shake her head. "No offense, but being innocent is not a talent that you have," she said and pulled her sleeve out of his grip.
"Why don't you want to come with me?" King asked. "Don't you want to know why I'm ruining things for us all the time?"
"I know why," Vivi replied. "You're a teenage boy. With luck, you'll grow out of it, but right now, you just have to get it out of your system. I mean, Viktor did and now look at him: he's successful, and gallant, and…very, very sexy." She sucked in a breath and closed her eyes.
"I'm those things too!" King replied.
"Yeah, maybe in your head you are," Vivi replied. Then she decided to cut him a break. "Actually, I made an appointment with Clarence's office to see him after school today. He's expecting both of us."
King heard this and he felt a bit deflated. "An appointment?" He asked. "I can't believe you made an appointment! That's no fun!"
"What do you mean?" Vivi asked. "Were you expecting to just storm in there and make everyone bend to your will cause they're so terrified of you?"
"Well, yes," King nodded, his lower lip jutting out slightly. "I kind of was."
"I'm really glad I made an appointment then," Vivi said, putting a hand on King's back. "If we'd had to do things your way, they probably would have never even talked to us."
King's lip curled as he asked his next question: "so, does Prince Charming know you're doing this thing with me?"
"As a matter of fact, he does," Vivi nodded. "And when I told him about it, he was very supportive. Cause that's how a mature person behaves."
"I don't think I ever said I was mature," King replied. "So joke's on your for thinking otherwise."
"I never thought otherwise," Vivi shook her head vigorously. "I hoped you would be, but I'm not stupid enough to deny reality." She paused. "So, meet me by the front steps after you get done with your classes and we'll head to the council building together. All right?"
"Fine," King replied. "I'll be there."
"When is he gonna get here?" King fidgeted in his seat in Clarence's office. "We made an appointment. Why isn't he honoring it?"
"He's a busy man," Vivi replied. "But he'll get here. Calm down." She was proven correct a few seconds later when Clarence opened the door and strode in, sitting down across from them in his desk and giving them a brilliant smile. "Hello," he said. "I'm Clarence."
"Hi," Vivi replied. "I'm Vivi and this is King."
"Yeah," King said, his eyes narrowed as he leaned across the desk and glared at the pink-suited, dark-skinned man who looked like a linebacker. "And what the hell are you doing to us, Clarence?"
"I wondered when you two were going to come here and talk to me," Clarence replied. "I knew you would, from the second I put you together."
"Why?" Vivi asked. "Are we not supposed to be together?"
"No, you are," Clarence replied. "It's just that, thanks to a mistake I made in the past, there have to be a lot of complications in your relationship before you two can finally be together."
"What mistake?" King asked. "What did you do?"
"Well, you two are aware that you have the same last name despite not being related by blood, right?" Clarence asked.
King and Vivi looked at one another. "Oh, my god, he's right!" Vivi said. "I never even thought of that!"
"But what does that have to do with anything?" King asked.
"Well, a while ago, I set up a relative of Vivi's…a great-great uncle named Henry, with his own aunt, Margaret cause I just thought they were so cute together that I couldn't let it go. After that, the axe was brought down and I was scolded by my superiors for setting up a couple that was related (however distantly), and told never to set up a related couple again."
"But we're not related!" King cried desperately. "My dad was only suckered into raising hers! The fact that they're not actually father and son is why they hate each other so much!"
"How do you know all that?" Vivi asked. "My dad never says a word about it!"
"Well, it's not something my dad can shut up about," King told her.
"Yes, well, I wasn't really given time to explain that whole situation," Clarence replied apologetically, rubbing his shaved head. "They saw that you two had the same last name and the trouble began before I had a chance to explain the loophole. I'm sorry. I'll make them see the truth eventually, but until then, you're in for a rough time of it."
"That's just great!" King sighed. "I mean, Vivi's got another boyfriend, so things are all well and good for her, but what am I supposed to do?"
Clarence shrugged. "I just set up the matches. I have no control over how long it takes you two to get together. That's up to you."
"Well, fuck it," King replied. "I was hoping that I could blame someone else for all this."
"Don't we all?" Clarence smiled. "Good luck, you two."
"Thanks," Vivi replied and pulled a very bellicose King out the door.
"That's it?" King asked when Vivi finally let him go. "He screwed up and now we have to deal with it?"
"Yep," Vivi nodded. "But it won't be so bad. We can get through it."
"You wanna go and get a burger or something, since we're already out and about anyway?" King asked. "I'll even pay for it."
"Will you be expecting anything in return for that generosity?" Vivi asked, eyes narrowed.
"No, I won't," King replied, hands up. "I promise."
"All right," Vivi replied after studying him for a long moment. "But as soon as I finish, I'm zapping myself home."
"All right," King replied. "Whatever you want."
"Good," Vivi nodded. "Let's go."